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The temperature of our marriage must be kept hot always. To achieve that takes a whole lot of work and attention. Our marriage is like a garden that needs constant touch and tending. Not so much of hard labour but those everyday tending, that is what will make affection increase in our marriage.

Here are some practical ways to increase affection in your marriage

1. Give undivided attention to your spouse
It is disheartening when your spouse gives you little or no attention at all. You feel you don’t matter and your person is not relevant to your spouses’ life. You feel they can do without you and your input doesn’t count. This is not a good feeling and must be avoided if your marriage must work.

Learn to give your spouse your undivided attention. The best way to do this is by listening to what they have to say and looking at them eyeball to eyeball.

2. Take time to recreate together.
My husband is a very busy man and I am grateful to God for his multidimensional ability in painstakingly using his initiative at his work. It is translating to food on the table. Despite his busyness, he still finds time daily to play and make us laugh.

When you are with someone you love, you should make the atmosphere lively and environment conducive to laughing, Playing, joking, making jests, telling stories, playing games together, etc. Just find something to do together.

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3. Respect each other’s space
You have to respect each other’s space. Let your spouse be. During the lockdown, my husband was quite busy putting our services online and doing other ministry stuff to meet a particular schedule. Then he finished his work and all the tension seem to have disappeared, so he wanted to play. It was however a wrong time for me to play. I was praying and studying. He did play for some time but he respected my time to study and pray. We respected each other’s space and were willing to understand and help each other grow.

4. Be each other friend
Being each other’s friend has to do with everything including being gist partners, cheerleader, number 1 fan, critic, prayer partner, jester, teaser, confidant, gossip, teacher, mentor, leader, you just name it. Just focus on each other. Do things that please each other. Follow the guiding words of 1 Corinthians 13. Love each other genuinely.

5. Be your unique self
Your uniqueness remains your best selling point that endears you to your spouse. Of course, try to be an improvement of who you are but don’t loss your flavor. Your flavor is the taste your spouse can never get anywhere else. Do things that your spouse can remember with only you.

Avoid nagging, being unfriendly, cold, harsh, or abusive. Try also not to be lazy, it takes hard work to build a marriage.

6. Make Jeru trip a priority
What Jeru trip does in marriage is that it cements the bonds between the couples together. It helps to reduce stress and tension in the marriage. If you know how to utilize this gift very well to your advantage, it can eliminate strife completely.

For some couples, after a good Jeru trip is the best time to discuss pressing issues. This is when your husband will listen to you well and give your his undivided attention. It is foolishness for any woman to deprive (or man, as the case may be) her husband Jeru trip. Denying him is not the solution rather it will complicate matters.

God bless your marriage.

I receive the grace to show affection to my spouse

Lord, I ask that you give me wisdom and understanding in my marriage in Jesus name.

Prov 11:29 (GW) Whoever brings trouble upon his family inherits only wind, and that stubborn fool becomes a slave to the wise in heart.

Have a hearty discussion with your spouse today

Ps 133


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