SINGLES – Practical Tips To Make Your Fiancée Happy
George who is in courtship with Lucy is frustrated. Lucy is always vacillating between two extreme emotions and poor George is at a loss on how to make her happy. If I can be experiencing this before marriage, what will happen after? George reasoned.
As a single in courtship, how do you make her happy?
1. Communicate;
It is important you keep in touch daily especially if you are not in the same place. If this all-important communication is not there, trust me, there will be issues coming up from time to time.
2. Apologize;
As singles, stop being egocentric and learn the art of apologizing quickly both ways. Don’t let your courtship be filled with memories of weeping, feeling down and out. It is not a good seed into your marriage.
3. Decisions;
As singles, take decisions together and don’t let her feel you are the superman that can do all things. If she relaxes and you run the relationship all by yourself, she would get used to that style and the help you ought to get from her when you are down will not be there. Don’t muffle her.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner and to love him/her more.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I break free from all wrong mindsets about marriage in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And did not he make one? Yet had he the residue of the spirit. And wherefore one? That he might seek a godly seed. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. (Mal 2:15 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Surprise your partner today. That does not include kissing, petting, sex etc. Reserve those till after marriage.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Ezek 9-12
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So basically, today is our wedding anniversary! It has been twenty-two years! God has been good. God has been good over us and our children.
It has not always been an express road with so smooth a ride, but it has been one filled with bumps and pot-holes!
However, our marital vehicle did not break down! God kept us. At some times, the engine nearly got knocked, but God did not allow it.
Below are twenty-two things we have learned in twenty-two years of marriage
1. God leads. He always does. Finding out His Will for your life is the most beautiful thing you can do.
2. God’s mercy is real. Without that mercy, nothing remains, really. That is why we are alive! That is why we have not been consumed.
It is of the LORD’S mercies that we are not consumed, because his compassions fail not.
Lam 3:22 (KJV)
3. Communication is key. The absence of it can lead to the marital life being maimed.
4. Become friends before becoming lovers. Don’t jump. Follow the process.
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5. Prayers are important. Talk to God about everything. I mean everything.
6. Be a voracious book reader. Read like your life depended on it.
7. Start your day with His word. That day will be blessed.
8. Loose living and an indisciplined sexual life will always terminate in regrets.
9. Get ready for the conflicts that come from male-female differences. Read ahead and be prepared to handle them.
10. Stay honest. Stay on the side of truth. The truth will always set free.
11. Be open with each other. It’s naked and not ashamed.
12. Be sacrificial. Seek to please your partner. That is the simple definition of marriage. Seeking to please him or her. You see, after pleasing God, the next person to please is your spouse.
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, increase my passion for my lover.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Celebrate yourself
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 1 cor13
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Twenty Two Things We’ve Learnt In Twenty Two Years
Today is our wedding anniversary! It has been God o! Literarily.
And the way the years moved so fast? Like it has been twenty two years! Twenty two long years!
Even though, it kind of looked so fast, I can assure you it has been a long marital road. However, I can also tell you this of which I am sure of, the long road of our marital journey is laced with mercy!
GOD’s loyal love couldn’t have run out, his merciful love couldn’t have dried up.
Lam 3:22 (MSG)
We travelled on mercy. We had junctions of His favour! We had stops where angels ministered to us. To God be the praise!
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Here are a few things things I have learnt that may help you in your marriage
1. Pray a lot as married couples. Do everything in prayer. The battle is intense, but God has all the power.
2. Stay close to each other. Do not allow a third party to break your bond.
3. Get a marriage mentor that you can speak to from time to time. Very important.
4. Be open and honest with each other. Avoid unnecessary secrecy.
5. Be faithful to each other. Avoid emotional affairs. Do not starve your spouse emotionally.
6. Be quick forgivers. Forgive quickly and avoid strife like a plague
7. Be friends. Laugh a lot. Play with each other. You need that to live long
8. Do not allow anything to steal your joy. Keep your joy intact.
9. Do not deprive each other sexually. Satisfy each other and never refuse yourselves. Sex is never a tool of punishment or a reward system. It is simply an obligation
10. Decide to be sacrificial. Live to please each other. That is what marriage is all about.
11. Never stop communication. Do not give each other silent treatment. Crack jokes a lot and play together
12. Give a lot. Work hard and trust God for His favour upon the works of your hands.
To be continued tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I celebrate my spouse today and always
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, increase my passion for my lover.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:5 Doth not behave itself unseemly, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Celebrate your spouse
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY 1 cor13
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I purposelydid not use the word ‘Love Language’ but used your wife’s ‘Language’ so that you can see the similarities. It is easier for us to relate to ‘your wife’s Language’ than it is to relate to love language.
Just as you can never think of marrying a wife who does not speak your language, it is ridiculous for you not to speak your wife’s love language.
Every woman has a love language. That love language is what she understands, is used to, and can relate to. In this language, she understands and can sense love.
Until you speak this language, she cannot sense or understand that you love her. It is like speaking Japanese to an English woman. It does not make any sense, and you sure are not making sense to her.
A woman knows that you love her when you communicate this love in a language that she understands. The problem is that most men are communicating this love to their wives in another language.
Note that there is something in every woman that craves being loved by her husband. Yes, she can be loved by her colleagues, friends, or siblings but there is something about the love of her husband. It may be because it is the way God ordered it from the beginning.
Eph 5:33 Nevertheless, let every one of you in particular so love his wife even as himself; and the wife [see] that she reverence [her] husband.
If husbands want to be found fulfilling their primary and basic role in the marriage covenant, it is good for each husband to learn to speak his wife’s language.
It makes a lot of sense if you at least become conversant with your wife’s language. It helps better communication in the marriage institution. Just like in our illustration of the English woman and the Japanese language speaking to her.
There are five basic love languages. We will look at each one so you can get a good understanding of each of them.
1. Words of affirmation
2. Quality time
3. Service
4. Gifts
5. Physical touch
All these love languages are to be understood if you want to love your wife on her own terms (in her own language) and not yours.
1. Words of affirmation.
If this is your wife’s love language, that just means that she likes to be spoken to. She may or may not be quiet, it doesn’t really matter. What matters is that your words mean a lot to her. You have to be constantly speaking words of encouragement to her.
Appreciating her by commenting on her efforts, looks, achievements, and verbalizing your love must be regular.
She senses love when she’s been constantly spoken to. Her energy to move on comes by appreciating her and saying sweet words to her. When you don’t speak kind words to her, she doesn’t sense your love towards her as a husband. Your words must be kind.
If on the contrary, you speak harshly to her, she senses harshness rather than love and sensitivity.
We will continue tomorrow.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray for wisdom in your marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise, you cannot pray effectively. ]” (1Pe 3:7, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Find out what her love language is
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Isaiah 5-8
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There aremany reasons why your wife loses interest in bed with you.
This attitude is not to be ignored because it can potentially bring harm to marriage.
It can push a man without self control into the zone of adulterous escapades, and of course, that comes with its unpleasant and attendant consequences that are detrimental to the family and home.
When this happens over and over again, that marriage is in serious danger of being exploited by the devil.
What seems like occasional refusals can quickly degenerate to a point where the wife closes up her spirit and the husband starts looking elsewhere.
When you look at the scriptures, it advocates that you should not deny each other sexually.
As a counselor, I have to counsel not too few a couple on this area.
What are those reasons why a wife can suddenly lose interest, especially if she has been cooperative before?
1. When she is repeatedly hurt and disappointed
Yes, the man is the head of the house and he is supposed to have the final say.
But when the man refuses to let his wife talk all the time, shuts her up and mute her voice, it can make her withdraw emotionally. When she is withdrawn emotionally, she cannot enjoy jeru trip like she should.
She is not a prostitute. And because she is not, a sexual experience for her is a total experience that affects every part of her.
If she is unhappy while at it, she can have the feeling of being raped.
And when this happens continuously, she would associate pain to an experience that you are supposed to enjoy and which is supposed to transport you to a land of delight like never before.
I believe this is one of the reasons Apostle Peter said:
1Pe 3:7 (CEV) If you are a husband, you should be thoughtful of your wife. Treat her with honor…
Being thoughtful about her off bed will make her cooperate more on the bed. Invest in her emotionally. Stop hurting her over and over again. The moment you lose her emotionally, you will not enjoy yourself as well.
I am not justifying this attitude on the part of the wife, because this attitude is not the appropriate response to an insensitive husband.
Maybe he just does not understand how to treat a woman or how you want to be treated specifically.
That is not a sin in itself, he only needs to learn. So, talk to him. Explain, rather than withdraw, go quiet and sulk. Communicate. Express your frustrations without nagging and work together to build your home.
May God grant more understanding!
Be blessed!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will cooperate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let your love be shed abroad in our home
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:7 (GW) Husbands, in a similar way, live with your wives with understanding since they are weaker than you are. Honor your wives as those who share God’s life-giving kindness so that nothing will interfere with your prayers.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Invest in your marriage
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Matthew 27
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