SINGLES – How To Detect A Problem in Your Relationship
When you hear statements like these, then be rest assured the relationship is defective and there is a problem.
1. I don’t know how to communicate, that is how I am
How do you know a man or woman who is not right for you? You will find out in his or her words.
His words will reveal his heart. His words are like a searchlight, highlighting the intents and the intentions of the hearts.
Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
There is nobody who doesn’t know how to communicate. People only choose whether they want to do so or not. There is something about somebody you love genuinely. The vocal chords will resonate!
The voice of my beloved! behold, he cometh leaping upon the mountains, skipping upon the hills. – Son 2:8 (KJV)
You are at an interview. You are about to be hired and they have one last question for you. “Tell us about yourself.”
Will you say you don’t know how to communicate? You will suddenly have inspiration.
When you stay incommunicado with a supposed lover for weeks, something is not quite right.
2. I serve God my own way, I am not like a fanatic
When a person says things like that, it shows deeper resentments for God and His ways.
His definition of serving God is his own invention. It is as defined by him and at his convenience. This type of heart that is not ready to sacrifice cannot go far in God.
To follow after God, you must be prepared to carry your own cross.
Then said Jesus unto his disciples, If any man will come after me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow me. Mat 16:24 (KJV)
To be continued.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to solve the problem
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what may not be obvious
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jer 33:3 (KJV) Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
SINGLES – Why You Can’t Keep Asking Him for Money There is nothing wrong in asking your fiancé for money or for financial assistance during courtship, if you are really in a fix, but this should never become a habit.
You are not married, yet, so you shouldn’t abandon yourself into his hands like a sheep being led to the slaughter!
I once met a lady who told me that she has many guys who are her friends and that they are for different purposes.
One supplies laptops, another supplies phones, and another gets fresh fish and so on and so forth. This is an irresponsible way of living!
That is nothing more like eating your cake and trying to have it. I have always told ladies, there are no nice guys, and nobody wants to sow seeds without expecting some returns.
You see a guy who is an unbeliever and you keep taking things from him, one day he is going to take something from you, and by the time he asks, your capacity would have been weakened to say NO, because you have received too many gifts.
There is a saying in Yoruba language that says you shouldn’t eat what will get stuck in your throat!
The scripture aptly warns that:
A man’s gift maketh room for him… (Proverbs 18:16 KJV)
This is also applicable here. Taking too many inappropriate gifts creates a vacancy in you.
There are gifts that you take, and you wish you hadn’t some few months after. A married man buys you a car, and he has not bought one for his wife and you are happy? You should run for your life, because there are too many ritualists out there.
There are some circles where a believer should not be found. It is not everything you get that is really a testimony. Not every act can be seen as God’s favour.
That is why the scripture warns:
Favour is deceitful… (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
God is your Jehovah, not man. Stop putting all your trust in a man, because man will surely disappoint. Learn to use your faith to meet your needs and stop putting yourself in compromised positions because of financial favours from men.
There are still men that God can send your way and help to bail you out or to favour you, but let God work it out in His own way. When you try to be smart, you can get more than you bargained for.
We live in selfish world where people may want you to exchange your body for a favour. If you are involved in that kind of racket, please, run from such.
Your body is never designed to be a commodity or a tool for trade by barter, your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and it should be honoured as such.
The Lord is my shepherd, it didn’t say, your boyfriend. When you put a man in a spot where only God can occupy, there will be trouble!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have God’s wisdom to handle money
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to say “No” when necessary
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A gift gets attention; it buys the attention of eminent people (Proverbs 18:16 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Focus on God to meet your needs, especially when money is involved
The scripture clearly identifies the importance of physical attraction when it comes to marriage.
God in His wisdom knows that if a man does not derive satisfaction from his wife, he would seek it else where, which of course will not only be detrimental to him, but to his whole family.
So, God advises the man:
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? For the ways of man are before the eyes of the Lord, and he pondereth all his goings (Proverbs 5:18-21 KJV)
In other words, what God wants is that you focus on your wife and not somebody out there. He said all your ways are before Him and He will inquire about everything you do. More or less, the affair that you think is secret is actually open to God.
As a single, you don’t want to spiritualise everything and say attraction doesn’t matter! It matters a lot!
Marry somebody you like and you love, a friend you can play with and laugh with. That is why the scripture says, “…rejoice with the wife of thy youth.“ The Importance of Body Chemistry
You also need to know that God will not force anybody on you. This idea that you are marrying somebody not because you love the person but because God said so is defective.
As a lady, when a guy walks up to you and tells you that God has spoken to Him, you also need to hear God as well.
Now, we have established that physical attraction is very important! But there is a balance! Physical attraction alone is not the only thing that determines your choice! See the scripture.
Favour is deceitful, and beauty is vain: but a woman that feareth the Lord, she shall be praised. (Proverbs 31:30 KJV)
Message Translation says:
Charm can mislead and beauty soon fades. The woman to be admired and praised is the woman who lives in the Fear–of– God. (Proverbs 31:30 Message)
So we see here, the only thing shouldn’t be outward beauty, but also inner beauty.
It is okay if she has hot legs, but her heart must also be hot for God! A hot leg without a hot heart will get your hands burnt at the end.
So in man or in a woman, I should have attraction for him or her, while he or she must have attraction for God.
This is very important!
In conclusion, no lady should ever think she is not beautiful. There is nothing like that. You are beautiful and you should believe it.
Have you not seen some of the most handsome men (in your opinion) get married to some of the most ugly ladies? (again, in your opinion) And then such men would say their wives are beautiful! You see, beauty is in the beholder’s eyes!
When your husband sees you, regardless of how you think you look, he will love you and will tell you that you are beautiful.
So, you can help yourself and your esteem by looking at the mirror daily and pointing to who you see there and say, “you are beautiful!” The Importance of Body Chemistry
If some people have told you that you are ugly, it is okay. You are wonderfully and fearfully made, so says the scripture. That means you will be “wonderful” to some and you will be “fearful” to others. Certainly when your spouse sets eyes on you, you will be “wonderful!”
So be patient and wait for the salvation of God in your marriage.
May God help us all.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a child of God. I am beautiful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will be your wisdom and strength
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY A good woman is hard to find, and worth far more than diamonds. Her husband trusts her without reserve, and never has reason to regret it (Proverbs 31:10-11 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write down what you want in a spouse.
Dear husbands-to-be, being a husband is a calling. It is a leadership and destiny to fulfill. How well are you fulfilling this great call? Generations yet unborn depend on you and the decisions you make in being a great husband.
You will be a good husband if you begin to practice walking in love and not in lust. You will not allow your erection to determine your direction! If you truly love her, you won’t be asking her to sleep with you before marriage, that’s How To Treat Your Lover
Some guys might come up and say, ‘but she wanted it. She even begged for it!’ The question is ‘do you do everything everybody asks you to do?’ How come you suddenly lose your ability to say NO when it comes to this issue? You are still the decision-maker.
If somebody asks you to pull the trigger on him, will you do it? You wouldn’t because your sense of judgment says it is wrong and you might find yourself in trouble. Decide to love truly and say NO to sex outside marriage.
So single guys, here are three things to take note of.
1. Don’t be carnal. Be spiritual. Be a praying man. Take the lead. Work on yourself before marriage and develop a deeper relationship with God. Marriage comes with its challenges, but the wisdom you need begins with fearing God.
The fear of the LORD is the beginning of wisdom: and the knowledge of the holy is understanding. – Pro 9:10 KJV
2. Don’t pressurize her for a sexual relationship. That is what separates the boys from the men. Do not succumb to her if she asks for it indirectly. That is the way to put your feet down and say No Compromise. It preserves your future, and you would have closed the door on the devil.
3. Don’t neglect her. Keep in touch with her. Don’t get too busy with whatever you are doing that you neglect her. If she is not complaining now, she will later on. If you start neglecting her during courtship, what will happen after the wedding then? How To Treat Your Lover
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a love being. God’s love flows in me. My love is selfless and not selfish.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to walk in love daily in Jesus Name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 3:19 AMP Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Memorize, meditate and confess the attributes of love in 1 Cor. 13
His principle is that ‘women are to be seen and not heard. He believes his wife’s opinions are inferior to his. He will rather ask others for their opinion than his wife. He sees his wife has a love-making machine, a cook, a dry cleaner, and a house help.
6. General Husband
He is a husband to every available lady. He does not believe in keeping himself solely for his wife. He sleeps with everything in a skirt.
7. The dry Husband
This type of husband lacks the ability to enjoy himself. He is a total bore. There is no fun with or around him. He is not romantic at all. He does not enjoy the company of his wife.
8. Analgesic Husband
He sees his wife as a problem solver, a pain reliever, and someone to use only to meet his needs. He sees her as someone to exploit.
9. Parasite Husband
He is dependent on his wife for everything and cannot take decisions on his own. He does not work nor does he do anything worthwhile.
10. Baby Husband
He is not mature at all. He is a baby emotionally. He nags, throws tantrums, fusses, refuses to eat when angry, and keeps malice with his wife. Spiritually, he is a baby. He cannot pray or fast. He still struggles with paying his tithes, offerings, and other financial obligations.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by his Spirit to choose rightly the man I will marry.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In the name of Jesus, I receive Grace for my fiance to mature in Christ and be all he can be for the glory of God. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make sure you are comfortable with the character and personality of the person you are going out with. Prayerfully ask the Lord what to do next.
Let’s check out the varieties of wicked husbands we have.
1. A hard man
He is arrogant. He is not easy to live with; he is unfriendly, proud, and does not understand the principle of flexibility in a relationship.
2. The Mini/Fake Husband
He loves bedmatics, he performs well on the bed and the dining room but he’s a lazy man. He lacks creativity and initiative. He is a poor provider.
3. Bachelor Husband
He is a single married man; he neglects his wife for friends, business, or hobbies. He respects others above his wife, he has a separate room in the house and sleeps separately too.
4.An Acidic Husband
He is hot-tempered, always flaring up over trivial issues. He wants things done exactly in his way. He is no fun to be with, he is always very serious. The home is like a military barracks. He slaps, barks and shouts.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by his Spirit to choose rightly the man I will marry.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In the name of Jesus, I receive Grace for my fiance to mature in Christ and be all he can be for the glory of God. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make sure you are comfortable with the character and personality of the person you are going out with. Prayerfully ask the Lord what to do next.
Our devotional today is taking an interesting dimension because I desire to paint a vivid picture in the heart of young unmarried people. Like never before, I want you to understand that whatever decisions you make in life, especially in the area of your choice of life partner is what you will live with all the rest of your life.
I often tell people, when you invite me to your wedding, I would come, eat, have a nice time but I will return to my own house and you are left with your choice.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. – Rom 12:2
Let’s look at making a choice or decision like going to a supermarket to shop. Even though the issues about marital decisions require more wisdom and God’s help because unlike the supermarket where you can return goods purchased, in marriage, once you say ‘I do’, you cannot return him/her. It is ’till death do us part’.
In a supermarket, there are wide varieties to choose from. There are fakes, cheap, low quality, second hand, expired, and damaged products, depending on which supermarket you visit.
You also have products that are not bad but are not just good for you personally. They may just not suit your person, your taste, or your physiological makeup. They may also be too expensive for you or you do not have a budget for them now.
Everything still points to the fact that you are in charge and you make the decisions. You may be influenced, but it’s your choice that matters at the end of the day.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am led by his Spirit to choose rightly the man I will marry.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In the name of Jesus, I receive Grace for my fiance to mature in Christ and be all he can be for the glory of God. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make sure you are comfortable with the character and personality of the person you are going out with. Prayerfully ask the Lord what to do next.
Am I rushing? Am I too young? Did we have sufficient friendship and courtship? Do I really know him or her since I can only love the person I know?
6. Is The Feeling Mutual?
Am I forcing myself on him or her? Does he or she reciprocates the love or treats me anyhow?
7. Is God Involved?
Do I have peace with this relationship? What are my Pastors saying? What about my parents? What about my siblings? Do I have peace?
Am I sure this is of God? Am I sure I am not on my own? Do I have God’s support and favour?
Ask yourself these questions and make sure you find answers to all of them and you would have succeeded in doing yourself a lot of good. You would have contributed to your happiness and taken charge of the future.
Don’t allow pressures brought about by delays or friends to make you decide and cling to what will obviously not work out.
There is no need to rush into a marriage because you are desperate only to get there and suffer silently because you never knew who you were dealing with.
Once you know a relationship is not of God or it is defective, don’t hesitate to end it all in order to do it right. A broken heart is still much better than a broken life!
Go back to God if you know your relationship with Him is not too good again because that is the foundation of getting blessed by Him!
It is well with you in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions, especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.
Ask yourself these questions before saying ‘I do’. Ask these questions before you fall in love, and every sense of reasoning disappears!
1. Can I see myself in the picture of his future?
What’s his future like based on what he is doing now? What is he doing now? Who is she? What kind of work or job is he/she into? Does this person love God? Is he protective of my virtue or does not mind me compromising?
2. Do I love him/her enough for marriage?
Can I live with him till death do us part? Do I really love him or her or am I just going into this marriage for something I can get like money or some influence?
3. Am I proud of him/her physically, mentally, and spiritually?
Do I like his or her appearance? Would I be embarrassed introducing him or her to friends?
4. Will my kids be proud and approve of him/her?
Would he be a great example? Is he a man of his word? Does he have integrity? Would he influence my children to drink, smoke, and to some other vices? Would she be a good mother? Is he a loafer or very hardworking? Is she enterprising?
Let’s continue tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions, especially in the area of my relationship. I receive fresh wisdom from you to direct my path in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not. Be prepared, so you are not so much in love that all sense of reasoning is gone.
In these days and these times, you fall in love deliberately and with your eyes open, not hopelessly and thoughtlessly!
You don’t fall in love or walk down the aisle in marriage without taking into considerations some pertinent questions in order to protect yourself and to be sure you know what you are doing!
Gone are those days when you should fall in love blindly and go into a marriage without your common sense!
Well, if you are still with the slogan that love is a blind, I have news for you, marriage is an eye opener. Reality settles in after marriage.
It is for this reason careless marriages end few months after! Trust me, I get calls every other day, of brides who are still supposed to be in the moon taking some honey, crying and weeping profusely and talking about regrets.
I get calls of ladies who are married for less than six months and they want to walk out of the marriage because they never knew ‘he was like this!’
There is a popular saying that God gave us brains that He may rest! It is true because after God finished the work of creation, the bible says God rested.
I believe God is resting because everything is completed, all we need for life and Godliness is already provided.
The same is true of our relationships, everything we ever need is already available, we only need to look within us and draw it out.
Part of drawing all we need, I believe, is asking ourselves certain questions.
Questions are very powerful, what they do is that they draw out wisdom from within us or from people around us who are graced with such wisdom.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I possess wisdom, wisdom directs my actions. I am not blindly in love that I do not apply wisdom. I am patient to find out what I need to find out before saying ‘I do’.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to do my part and follow your leading in my decisions especially in the area of my relationship.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY ‘Ask (questions), and the answer shall be given you; seek, and you shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you’. –Matthew 7:7
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take a pen and paper and write down all the questions you are going to ask the person you intend to marry, whether he/she is already around or not.
One wonderful attribute of God is His ability to remember and his ability to forget! And the good news is that He doesn’t remember our faults to count them against us, but He remembers His own covenant of blessings to us. He forgets our misdemeanors and remembers our good seed!
And God heard their sighing and groaning and [earnestly] remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. – Exo 2:24
He remembers He is our God, to help us, deliver us, protect us, vindicate us and do for us all He has promised. If you have a relationship with God, then it is a big congratulation to you. It does not matter what is going on in your marriage, home, and family right now. God hears, remembers, and will have respect unto you because you are His covenant child.
The attack of the enemy may be strong over your relationship, life, family, a courtship on the verge of breaking up, financial crisis, or whatever challenge has troubled you. All you need to do is to give God something he can hear and remember.
You may be going through an intense time in your relationship right now; courtship seems not to be working, for some there is even nobody to court. Issues are diversified and endless. I want you to know that you are not the only one going through an issue in your relationship or marriage right now. There are no custom-made problems.
I want you this morning to know that God has not forgotten you, even though it looks like that in the physical. So was the experience of Noah in the ark, and it looked like God has forgotten him in the ark, disenfranchised from the whole world and sentenced to life in the ark with animals…but then the scriptures says
And God remembered Noah… – Gen 8:1 KJV
God will remember you this morning! He will intervene in that relationship!
The Massage translation says:
Then God turned his attention to Noah … – Gen 8:1 MSG
Common! God is about to turn His attention to you! Don’t give up on God! That good man will locate you! You will find that beautiful lady! That relationship will not crash!
So all I want you to do this morning is lift up your voice before your father. In other words, make a sound, your father can hear. Not a faithless cry, but a cry full of faith, knowing that our God is merciful and He will not fail of His promises to us. Your God will have respect unto you in Jesus Name. He will visit you and turn the story around for good. He will make the bitter waters.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not abandoned. I am loved of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh God, turn every captivity around for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And God heard their sighing and groaning and [earnestly] remembered His covenant with Abraham, with Isaac, and with Jacob. – Exo 2:24
Jesus is the foundation. Be careful what materials you are building on His person. I will like you to make a decision this morning, break free from every lying devil. Sin is sin, no matter your office! Sin is always a reproach and that is the end of it!
Embrace God’s love this morning. Do not take his love for granted. Ask for genuine repentance. Go to your pastor or mentor and stay accountable. Then if you have to go on a retreat and fast and pray, please do.
Fill yourself afresh with God’s word and let it become life to you! I challenge you this morning. Clean up! Delete that number before you yourself are deleted from trhe face of the earth! Cancel that ungodly relationship.
Destroy those instruments of sin. Take charge of your life this morning and break free from all oppression!
The truth is that God still loves you. That is why you are still alive despite all. He loves you beyond your imagination. He is full of tender mercies over you! Accept His love and He will restore your soul. He will clean you up, heal you and restore your dignity.
I pray for you this morning, that every yoke and demonic influence over your life and destiny be broken in Jesus name! If you need someone to pray for you or lead you to Christ, feel free to pick up my number and give me a call. God will send help your way today in Jesus name. Your life will not be a waste. Your labour of love in God’s Kingdom will not be devoid of reward in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare my freedom today from all oppression; I receive God’s help and mercy over my life; I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. – John 8:36 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
Self-deception has led people into prostitution, and drug culture, it has locked up a lot of believers and men of God in the pit of sexual perversion where masturbation, pornography, adultery, homosexuality, and the likes are commonplace.
Self-deception spirits are dangerous because, they tell the oppressed to internalize their challenges: it tells them if God disapproves of their lifestyle, he would have killed them.
What they don’t know really is that they are actually dead! It stops them from seeking help since they never own up. Such people can lie! Since you can hardly get help until you own up to something is wrong, one is kept in the pit of darkness because he will never own up.
It is a plan of hell to destroy many. As I write this morning, the Spirit of God will prick your heart if need be, the light of God will shine in your heart, the word of God like a two-edged sword will separate the wheat from the chaff for you and help you to see if there are any areas where you need to make changes.
It doesn’t matter whether you are an apostle or unbeliever, what matters this morning is to confront yourself.
Jesus is the foundation and the Bible warns in 1Corintians 3:11-15 (MSG)
Remember, there is only one foundation, the one already laid: Jesus Christ. Take particular care in picking out your building materials. Eventually there is going to be an inspection. If you use cheap or inferior materials, you’ll be found out. The inspection will be thorough and rigorous. You won’t get by with a thing. If your work passes inspection, fine; if it doesn’t, your part of the building will be torn out and started over. But you won’t be torn out; you’ll survive–but just barely. -1Corintians 3:11-15 (MSG)
That’s why Jesus said; judge yourself that you will not be judged! How long do you think the deception will last? You cannot build God’s kingdom on the foundation of deception and lies.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare my freedom today from all oppression; I receive God’s help and mercy over my life; I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free. – John 8:36 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
This morning, I feel inspired to write about a particular demonic strategy, a deadly attitude being embraced by many. This attitude is from the pit of hell. It holds its victims by the jugular, suffocating them with obvious but subtle strangulation techniques and yet distracting them from what is killing them. The result then is that they refuse to accept something is wrong when it is obvious to all that they are on the path of destruction.
Let no man deceive himself. – 1Co 3:18a
I am talking about self-deception! You see, deception can come from different sources, but the greatest and deadliest form of deception is self-deception.
The demon behind self-deception works hand in hand with other demons especially mammon spirits and religious spirits. So you can see a person who says she wants to sleep around in order to get money, after all she goes to church and serves there with her time and money!
Hence, most people that are self-deceived can be found in the beautiful auditoriums of our churches today, in the choirs and on the pew.
Do not be deceived and deluded and misled; God will not allow Himself to be sneered at (scorned, disdained, or mocked by mere pretensions or professions, or by His precepts being set aside.) [He inevitably deludes himself who attempts to delude God.] For whatever a man sows, that and that only is what he will reap. – Gal 6:7 AMP
It is only self-deception that will make a lady get involved in pre-marital affairs and then confidently sing in the choir the next day without blinking! You see such person is self-deceived, believing that her service to God will cover up for his or her ungodly life! It sounds incredible, but it is all over the place!
It is only self-deception that can make a man stand up from an adulterous bed and then go to church and condemn it from the pulpit!
It is self-deception that will make a man of God who has several branches under him and many looking up to him get involved with habitual adulterous life!
It is one thing to make a mistake, and anybody can fall, and people do fall. And God did make a provision to situations where people fall, to get them restored. But when it becomes habitual, I don’t really care how anointed the person is, there is an intertwining of self-deception demons and other demons oppressing that man!
He simply tells himself that God will overlook it since he is still having ‘result!
That is also a demonic strategy in itself, to make people develop a cold attitude to the things of God, to make them resent anything called pastors or church and thereby shutting them away from where they can get help. The result is that bondages and captivities are elongated and perpetuated!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I severe myself from all ungodly relationships in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I receive God’s help to be free in Jesus name. Lord, send help to me now in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Joh 8:36 (AMP) So if the Son liberates you [makes you free men], then you are really and unquestionably free.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Become accountable today to someone your respect and value a lot.
Lurry was caught in a cross-road. She had lost one of her parents which resulted in her academic pursuits being threatened.
Her late father’s friend stepped in to help out with finances. It was like God sent because the man was rich.
However, in no time, he began to make sexual advances. Lurry was confused. If she said no, there would be no money. If she said yes, she would be in an adulterous relationship because the man was married with children. What was she supposed to do?
Candid advice! Run, run, run! There is fire on the mountain!
You see, you cannot because of mammon destroy your destiny. As a believer, God is your source and not man! You cannot trust in the arm of the flesh!
The consequence of violating the sacredness of the marriage bed far outweighs the seemingly temporary ‘lack’ you may experience when you decide to follow God.
God is not an author of confusion. If you stand up for righteousness and refuse to dip your hands in sin, God will surely make a way for you.
Righteousness invariably exalts while sin will culminate in shame and reproach!
Befriending a married man or woman and sleeping with them in exchange for money is a demonic setup to ruin your life, and lose your soul eternally, but you can still make amends as you read this.
Under no circumstance, excuse or guise will you be justified before God for doing such a thing, so don’t even bother with flimsy excuses, God’s word will never be broken.
If you have been coerced into such or you dabbled into it in ignorance, now you know that it is wrong, and you have the power of choice to decide your future now!
Don’t be deceived, it can never be God’s will for you to date or be sexually involved with a married person. The marriage covenant must be respected. If you have done that, ask God to forgive you and never have an outing again with that married person.
Remember that what you sow is what you reap. You cannot be another person’s headache (in his or her marriage) and expect that it will be well with your own marriage when it comes to your turn!
May God grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in hurry. I will not violate God’s principles.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to stay chase in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
If you are not married, don’t demand for sexual gratification. If there is respect, you won’t want his/her virtue compromised to satisfy your own lust. Real love and respect is waiting.
2. Communication
Don’t discuss your past, inadequacies and failures in great detail at the inception of the relationship. Some details are better left until there is acceptance, trust and understanding between the two parties.
However, basic issues like health status, genotype, family history and some other crucial issues need to be discussed as early as possible. If he/she finds out years later, mistrust can easily rear up its heads.
3. Chastity
Don’t start kissing someone you met two hours ago. Don’t end up in a car or in corner in a sexual encounter with a total stranger. That is gross irresponsibility and indiscipline. Moreover, you will be offending God.
4. Emotional Needs
Do not depend on one another for the fulfillment and satisfaction of every emotional need. Your partner is not the Holy Spirit. Participate in activities outside your romantic relationship. Don’t be parochial. Be creative and be open to ideas that will further move your relationship forward. Learn, read books, attend seminars together.
5. Selflessness
Guard against selfishness. Both sides should be involved in giving. Love should be reciprocal. It is not a one way affair, it is a song done by a duet. In marriage, there are no spectators; both are actors striving to get better and sowing energies and time into the marriage to make it work.
Stop quarreling everyday of your courtship. Follow the principles of God and stop every compromise. Make sure your foundation for marriage is rightly laid.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Our love is rekindled daily. I love my spouse and I am committed to our marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes and show me what I know not.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:7 GNB Do not deceive yourselves; no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Talk to God. Pour your heart to Him now
Parents usually wish to see their grandchildren on time. Also, they get anxious about your success in life and wouldn’t want you to miss out on any advantage of life they feel is due to you at the time, this can also constitute pressure.
Do not yield to such pressure just to satisfy your parents when you know in your heart that God isn’t leading you yet. You cannot please your parents at the expense of God.
Your parents cannot sustain your marriage, it is only God that can. While it is good to obey and listen to your parents according to the scripture, you cannot obey them when what they are asking you to do clearly violate the principles of God.
Environmental and Media Pressure
A lot of destinies are warped today because of the warped outlook of a given society at any point in time. We live in a sexualized age aided by print and media broadcast, which makes available pornographic and other sinful materials.
However, the environment is not an excuse in any way as God expects that your light shine’s forth in the midst of the darkness. God expects that you stay chaste and refuse to compromise despite all the pressures that come your way. That is how to show your maturity in God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God. I exercise authority over all situations and circumstances in Jesus name. I will not crumble under pressures in Jesus name.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way. James 1:13 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all stress sources, and work towards eliminating one at a time.
The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
Still talking about pressure. If you missed it, read it HERE
Matchmaking Comments and Prophecies
Comments from friends, family and those you respect and look up to should not be allowed to constitute pressure in your relationship, especially when they are contrary to your personal convictions.
Your decisions should always be influenced by what God says; follow His directions alone!
People may tease you on how good you and someone could be together; they may say you’d make a perfect couple. Do not be influenced against your personal convictions. Pastoral, parental and friendly match-making should serve only as confirmations.
Do not yield to prophetic manipulations or some prophecies. The Bible says woe unto prophets that say that God said something He didn’t say.
No prophet or man of God has any business choosing a spouse for you. It is your responsibility to do that. God may use them to guide, confirm, instruct and advise, but not to choose or impose anybody on you. That is not the purpose of anointing. The anointing is to break yokes and lift burdens, not to add it into people’s lives!
As singles, you should stop taking names all over the place; you will get more confused at the end of the day.
In the first place, you are not supposed to have more than one name! What you should also know is the at most of these prophets are hungry, so they will always have something to say!
Stop looking for directions and wasting your money all over the place. God’s order in the New Testament is not to start seeking direction but to develop a good relationship with God, His word and His Spirit wherein you can hear God clearly and by yourself.
Men of God are to teach, instruct, correct and confirm!
Some of these things border on manipulation and witchcraft where specific directions are being sought all the time. You almost would have to take permission on when to sleep with your spouse in marriage! That is not in the Bible!
Everyone has a responsibility to learn to hear God. It is the greatest blessing you have in life.
I pray over your relationship that God will open your ears and hearts to hear Him clearly and explicitly. He will do a new thing and He will make all things new in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me against any pressure in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
