Don’t trap yourself. You are praying together in the night in his room and electricity fails and you are still looking for a candle? That is the time to escape for your life. It is not about the fact that he is a Christian or the prayer leader; it is about the fact that he is a man and he is human.
All those prayers you do while you are wearing something seductive, you are finishing the guy slowly. His eyes are red, the tongues are changing and you think it is the anointing? No, the guy is on fire! And the bible says you cannot carry fire in your bosom and not be burnt!
5. Give her gifts, no matter how small
She likes that a lot. However, the gift may not make any meaning to her if she has been hurt severally.
6. Never shut her up or shout at her, correct in love
God used the finest bones by the sides of a man in creating a woman to indicate that he wants your wife by your side!
God didn’t use the bones by the feet because your wife is not your doormat, whose emotions and person is to be trampled upon!
7. Forgive her quickly
Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. Not forgiving her can block your prayers. So says the scripture!
8. Major on her good points, overlook her mistakes.
That is the way to go if you want your courtship or marriage to last.
9. Never abuse her or disrespect her in the presence of others.
10. Be sensitive to her needs, moods, and fears. Be there for her.
11. Call her pet names. Let her know at every opportunity that you appreciate her.
12. Seek to understand her more so you can love her more. Women are complex. Men should learn and keep learning.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Marriage is for the broken. I mean those who have mortified their flesh. Does it then mean that anybody that has not attained this level cannot marry? Of course not. They can marry but making a success out of the marriage is impossible.
The devil understands this and he is okay with it. He is even happy with the idea of immature people getting married, so far as they don’t get to fulfill God’s mandate and agenda.
They could even spend millions of Naira on the wedding, with an elaborate and classic wedding. What matters most is how the marriage is going. How much does the husband love his wife as Christ loved the church? How much does the wife submit to her own husband?
God has given both the wife and the husband specific roles and functions in the marriage. This role is an individual mandate that is not dependent on what the other partner does or doesn’t do.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. – Rom 8:13
The flesh has deeds or works.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. – Gal 5:19- 22
There is a kingdom of God to be inherited by us in our marriage but ‘Those who do entertain the works of the flesh cannot inherit the kingdom of God.
The mandate of marriage can only be carried out in the spirit. By those who have their flesh crucified and dead to sin.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. – Gal 5:24
In our marriage, we must see to it that our flesh dies daily. Every wife should study what the Bible says about submission and every husband study what it means to love.
Our flesh must be broken to allow the spirit of God to manifest.
I once lived in pity-party and was very stubborn in my disposition to my husband. I was just so fleshly. I yielded to the flesh without constraints and I entertained and embrace every negative thought that came to my mind. I went to see my mentor because I had come to my wit’s end. She told me, ‘be broken, and listen to your husband’. Those words set me free because they were the truth.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Husbands, be broken and love your wife. Love her and be tender-hearted towards her.
Why get married if the reason for being married is not fulfilled? Don’t waste heavens mandate! Jesus said we should occupy till he comes. We must make up our minds that our marriage will fulfill destiny and purpose.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, make me a broken spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
Sin is the barrier that disrupts you from accessing God’s throne and His presence as you should. It is that one thing that blocks you from being with your heavenly Father.
In the old testament, the bible records that the temple had a place called the Holy of Holies where there was a veil covering it.
“…The veil shall separate for you the Holy place and the Holy of Holies” – Exo. 26:33
But only the high priest could enter after he had undergone some cleansing rituals.
“But only the high priest could go into the second room, and he did that only once a year. He could never enter the inner room without taking blood with him. He offered that blood to God for himself and for the people’s sins…” ICB. – Heb.9:7
The God we serve hates sins totally and needs us to be pure before we can come before Him.
After sinning, the enemy suggests to a person that God can never forgive, thereby encouraging them to run away from God. This is where shame comes in.
If you allow the enemy to tell you that your shortcomings are so huge or terrible and that God can never forgive you, then you don’t know your God.
Your God is more than able to forgive your sins.
He wants nothing more than to forgive you so that the two of you can be in a loving relationship constantly.
Your heavenly father wants to forgive you so that He can bless you.
He will always forgive you but asks that you don’t allow yourself to become a slave to sin.
Never allow the enemy or anyone to tell you that God can’t ever forgive you. He gave Jesus for you. Jesus that was sinless to die for your sins that you may be called His son or daughter.
Prayer point: Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for granting me access to the Holy of Holies. I am glad that God will always forgive my sins. Sin will not overcome me. I will not hide in shame. Amen.
Action Plan: Stay away from all forms of sin
Declaration: God will forgive me of my sins. I will not hide in shame.
You wouldn’t imagine how important this is to women. They want to hear it all the time! A man wonders why he should keep saying that because he is logical.
A woman thinks if you don’t say it often, with emotion, eyeball to eyeball, you don’t really love her!
For singles, It is okay to express your love to your fiancée but you must not allow verbal expression to lead to physical aggression. You sure know what I am talking about!
2. Tell her she is beautiful.
Women have issues with their bodies especially after giving birth. She worries about her shape, her belly, her face and more. It goes a long way when you tell her and keep telling her that she is beautiful. I say this to my wife all the time and she would still blush and smile like she is hearing that for the first time.
If your fiancé or husband never says that to you, ask him directly how you look in a dress.
Ladies who are not yet in a relationship, understand that you will not appear beautiful to everybody. If somebody says you are ugly, that is a personal opinion. You will be beautiful to your spouse!
The scripture says you are ‘fearfully’ and ‘wonderfully’ made. So it is okay to be ‘fearful’ to some people. Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. When your spouse sees you, you will be the most beautiful woman on earth. So stop worrying yourself unnecessarily.
3. Listen to her when she talks, give her attention, and don’t ignore her presence.
This is very important to both singles and married couples. It is important you listen well. In a particular country, women pay listeners per hour to just listen to them talk. If a woman finds a listener in her colleague, an emotional affair is knocking on the door. Ever wondered how respectable women end up sleeping with their cooks or drivers?
They were neglected by their husbands and they found a companion elsewhere!
The highest form of listening is empathic listening and this is what your fiancee requires. It involves a guy putting himself in her shoes as he listens with compassion.
Give her your time and attention. Don’t let her compete with laptops, blackberries, ipods, ipads and other ‘toys’
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust your timing.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalms 139:14 I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
I have discovered that in our marriage relationship, we can not afford to go on the journey alone. There is such peculiarity in our marriage that it takes the Holy Spirit to help us.
The Holy Spirit is a person. He is real. He is alive and He dwells in us. It is amazing that we have so much help available in Him yet we seek help everywhere.
Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come. – Joh 16:13
The Holy Spirit is the spirit of truth. He knows the real truth about every situation. He will not lie to us. Most of the time that we claim our spouses are too harsh on us, it is our flesh reacting. Our flesh wants to resist the truth.
I remember when my husband was correcting me and I felt bad about the correction. I even fasted telling God how wrong my husband was. I wanted God to correct him. It took the Holy Spirit to show me I was wrong. That I had to be broken and submissive to my husband.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
After that encounter, I was gentle and sober. I stopped all my ‘gragra’.
The Holy Spirit is so wonderful. He will keep you calm in situations where your flesh wants to be strong and stubborn.
Most of the issues in our marriages are opportunities for the Holy Spirit to manifest Himself, reveal and glorify Jesus.
The Holy Spirit will teach you how to react, when to say something, when not to talk. In short, He is the ‘olofofo’ of our marriage. He will tell you what your spouse is struggling with. Before a problem starts, he will tell you.
I remember several times the Holy Spirit will reveal to my husband things I’m going through. These are some of the benefits of being a believer. We are born again Christians, let’s make use of these fact.
Let’s develop a relationship with the spirit of Grace. The marital journey is not meant to be ran alone. The Holy Spirit is not a general spirit. He is a particular, specific and individual spirit. He addresses your situation personally.
No two marriages are exactly the same. It is the Holy Spirit that helps you interpret a general message to suit you and your marriage.
As an helper meet for your husband, you have to be strong and courageous. You need the Holy Spirit to be a good husband and take care of that woman. As a wife you need the Holy Spirit.
The Holy Spirit is a teacher. He will teach you all things. And you what, you can talk to him about anything and every thing, He will answer you. Learn to receive the helper made available for you.
Develop a thriving relation with Him today. God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Holy Spirit is available for me
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Holy Spirit, help my marriage.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 16:13 Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask the Holy Spirit for help
Fall in love with your common sense! Don’t fall in love with a married man or woman!
He tells you that you are the one he loves. That is a lie! He loves his wife at home; they might just have issues.
Why fall in love and play the second fiddle? Why fall in love with a man that visits twice a week in a house he rented for you? What kind of life is that?
God has got your own spouse for you, but you will keep on delaying what God wants to do when you are busy carrying out your own agenda. Be wise!
A foolish woman is clamorous: she is simple, and knoweth nothing. (Proverbs 9:13 KJV)
5. Don’t fall in love with a stranger
Don’t fall in love with somebody you don’t know. There is nothing like love at first sight, only with foresight. There may be a ‘knowing’ at first sight, but it is never love at first sight. Why? You cannot fall in love with somebody you don’t know!
The rush of adrenaline in your body does not translate into love! Body chemistry is not love!
Infatuation is not love. Lust is not love. Love is a deeper ‘sensing’ and knowing, more than a feeling, it is an assurance, and it is deep-seated in the heart. It’s not something that happens with a stranger.
Fall in love with a friend, not with a stranger, so that strange things will not happen to you! You don’t’ even know her name, and you are saying you are in love!
For married people, never get tired of your spouse. You have to keep falling in love over and over again. Wives, learn to dress for your hubby at home, he is moved by sight, so stop tying wrappers all the time unless that is what your husband wants. Go get some lingerie and learn to fire up his blood. It is a holy thing to do, for your husband!
I pray that God will grant more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
We have been looking at this topic building to last in marriage for some time now and I will be taking the concluding part of the same topic.
I pray and sincerely hope this message will bring couples to ways they can discuss this together to find their own way of implementing the points. There may be ways based on their peculiar situation, they could adapt the points discussed here.
8. Never talk bad about your spouse to anybody
Respect the covenant between you. Let no one be able to come between you. Don’t betray trust. Defend each other. Don’t fight with each other but fight for each other. Don’t fight your spouse because of any other person. Don’t give any other person the privilege of being more special than your spouse. It will backfire. What is between the two of you cannot be compared with any other relationship.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
9. Love jeru trip
Enjoy Jerusalem trips. It is pleasure to both of you. Never get tired of each other. Give yourself to one another unhindered
10. Keep the word ‘divorce’ out of your dictionary
Remember your marriage vows. It is till death do us part. There are no problems without solutions. There are issues, challenges but there are ways of handling them. We may not be patient enough or seek God’s face enough to find a lasting solution. God has promised us a way of escape.
Jesus said in John 14:6, ‘I am the way, the truth, and the life
Have a bulldog approach to your marriage. Whatever happens, God can restore and make all things new. That doesn’t mean staying in an abusive relationship and environment. Seek all the help you can get for your marriage to be better.
11. Understand each other’s love language
Your love language is like your native mother language, you are most comfortable speaking it and have a free flow with it. Just like you speak the language your spouse understands, you must be willing to learn and understand your spouse’s love language. Don’t insist on your own way of expressing love.
Try to please your spouse. Do whatever he/ she likes and best expresses that you love and care for him/her.
It is either it is gifts, words, touch, actions, or quality time. If it is words, learn to speak tender and kind words to your spouse. Don’t be harsh with your words. Don’t correctly sharply.
If gifts, surprise each other with gifts, do this frequently.
If actions, help to do the dishes, throw the garbage out, wash the car, etc, just offer to do something.
12. Spice up your marriage with little gestures.
Surprise each other with gifts, kisses, and sex. That shows you are thinking of your spouse. Let your spouse know that you are still in love with them.
Kiss passionately, hold hands, cuddle and show public display of affection. Look into each other’s eyes when talking. Be deeply concerned about each other. Look out for yourselves and ask whatever may be happening to your spouse emotionally, physically, or otherwise.
May God bless our marriage as we put these things into practice.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
Little children, since we know we are created in God’s image, let’s ensure we keep clean always. Your body is God’s temple!
Your outer body is what people see, and the condition of your skin, hair, or face tells them a lot of how clean or dirty you are.
Endeavour to take your baths in the mornings before you leave the house, when you get back from school or after any activity that leaves you sweaty like when you finish playing football or running with your friends.
Allowing sweat to stay long on your skin, forms bacteria that could lead to some skin conditions like eczema and rashes.
Also, when bathing, use a sponge and soap and scrub your skin very well, but not too harshly.
Brush your teeth in the morning, and at night before you sleep.
Don’t forget to comb or brush your hair before you leave the house. Cut it also when due. For girls, pack your hair neatly with a hairband or visit a hairdresser to make it for you. Keep hair well oiled and neat.
All these and many more helps you to be holy before God.
Looking and smelling good attracts people to you. When they admire you, they are indirectly praising God over you. That is how God is worshipped!
Looking and smelling nice could also make people listen to you when you tell them about Jesus. And when they finally accept Christ into their lives, you have won a soul into God’s kingdom by your appearance.
1 Thess. 5:23, ICB We pray that God himself, the God of peace, will make you pure, belonging only to him. We pray that your whole self–spirit, soul, and body–will be kept safe and be without wrong when our Lord Jesus Christ comes.
When you are falling in love, fall in love with some life! Don’t fall in love with a profile on social media. You may be disappointed. Don’t fall in love with a picture! You never know who you are dealing with!
Before you give your heart out, be sure you see the person you are dealing with, or else your heart can be wrenched apart!
“Pastor, it is not just a profile, I heard his voice!” It is still the same hopelessness, falling in love with a voice. Who owns the voice?
The rule of thumb is simple, never give any commitment to someone you have not seen.
If he is not committed to travel down to where you are, or he doesn’t have enough money to come or he doesn’t have the time, then he is not ready for marriage.
I know there can be situations when the persons are far away, probably in another country, then get family members who are around involved.
You cannot just fix a wedding date with somebody in Brazil and then travel there. I cannot recount how many have called me to talk about the greatest disappointments of their lives upon emptying their accounts and resigning from work to go and meet a guy somewhere who eventually turns out to be mentally imbalanced. A word is enough for the wise.
3. Don’t fall in love carelessly.
Don’t fall in love carelessly.
You met two hours ago. Now you are in bed! That is not love! That is lust and you are going to be dropped soonest like hot potatoes! The principles of God are being violated like that and you are not going to have His support.
The purpose of falling in love is not to take somebody to bed; it is to take somebody down the aisle. Jeru trap with someone will never be able to prove your love. They are just not the same, otherwise, the prostitute will fall in love with all her clients, but it never happens that way. Fall in love with care and caution!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
A lovely day it is to once again look into our topic, building a happy and lasting marriage.
It takes a conscious effort to build anything. Jesus showed us how to build. He says we must dig deep and lay the foundation on the rock, on solid principles that are void of sentiments. Build with godly principles that will outlive the test of time.
Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like: He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock. – Luk 6:47- 48
5. Be polite to each other
This is very crucial if you must build a lasting marriage where both spouses are happy. Most of the time, the husband’s ego makes it difficult to be polite to his wife. He feels why should I say sorry, thank you, or please. If he says it at all, he does so once in a while.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
If the wife mentions it, he says ‘I am the husband’. In marriage, we don’t take each other for granted. Later than sooner, there will be reactions. Respect should be reciprocal.
6. Always listen attentively to your spouse.
Make it a habit to always listen when your spouse is talking. When the spouse senses that you are not listening, it gives a feeling he/she is not so important to you. You must make your spouse feel like they are the most important person in this world to you because really they are.
Stop looking at your phones, iPad, laptop or watching the news, or reading a book when your spouse is talking to you.
The best communication skill you can develop is listening. Be quiet and patient while your spouse is speaking and you can now express your opinion. Look straight into his/her eyes when he /she is talking to you. That will make them feel you are interested in what they have to say.
7. Communication
This is the key to your relationship. Talk like lovers and friends. Most couples have lost friendship and some were never friends. You need to make amends where necessary because you can’t build a lasting marriage where you are not each other’s friends.
Don’t grow apart. There should be no fear whatsoever in expressing yourself. Deal with the root of whatever is causing fear. Ask yourself; am I easy to talk with? Does my spouse find me easy to talk with? Don’t answer yourself, ask your spouse. Don’t let your spouse guess what you are thinking about.
I will stop here for now.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
Let’s pick up from where we stopped yesterday on lessons from the story of creation. I hope you really have been following these lessons and they have been very applicable in your daily lives.
See what God’s word says in Genesis 1:5 – 12 KJV
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good.
5. God gave names to all the things he created.
This is a great lesson, from the creation, for us as children. It’s always important to name whatever you have, you know why?
It’s because they eventually become whatever you call it, and that’s also why your parents give you beautiful names because they want you to exhibit the meaning of what you are called.
6. During God instructed the earth to produce things.
As a child of God, you also should learn to command fruitfulness on all that belongs to you.
Like your school subjects, command it to be easy and learnable for you.
Say things like I am going to pass this so and so subject. Say the kind of results you expect from all that is placed in front of you.
7. Everything God did, He did in days.
Learn to plan your week just like God. He could have decided to make everything in one day, but he didn’t do that. He created the earth in six days and rested on the seventh day.
Have an activity per day. Don’t wind away your day without doing anything meaningful or worthwhile.
Dear Child of God, it’s God’s desire that you be just like him. Be diligent with these lessons and you’ll become exceptional just like God.
We will continue tomorrow
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to be creative like you. Amen
Action point: Be a person of order
Declaration: I am a person of order, just like my God.
Falling in love is a special experience, or so it is intended to be. But there are ways to fall in love. The foundation to falling in love the right way is to fall in love with God first. God, Himself is love and when you fall in love with Him, He will teach you and help you to understand what real love is.
God is the lover of your soul and He is your first true lover! Any attempt to ignore Him is at your own peril to your eventual love life. Without Him, you will never be able to know how to love and how to be loved. Here are a few ways not to fall in love.
1. Don’t fall in love secretly.
I have said it many times; a godly relationship is not a secret cult. It is not a fraternity between two people. If you like yourself and you will like to protect yourself, heed my advice this day by the Spirit of God; don’t fall in love with a closed-up person.
Let your friends know about it. Let your Pastor know about it. The moment he or she insists that nobody should know, that should be a red light for you. Why hide something that is meant to be good news?
When I asked my wife out while we were students at Ogun State University (now Olabisi Onabanjo University) and she said ‘Yes,’ I announced to all that cared to listen! It was a joyful experience for me as a twenty-four-year-old chap!
I later got married at twenty-seven years of age some three years later in 1999.
Are you in a relationship where nobody knows except the two of you? Why would that be? The risks are high! The first sign of commitment in a relationship that is intended to lead to marriage is that the authority figures in your life will be involved. While this may not totally ensure the success of the relationship, it goes a long way to validate the relationship.
For those who are married, ensure that you are accountable to a particular authority figure for counsel and wisdom as you navigate the terrain of the marital journey.
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I will fall in love rightly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to get it right
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t fall in love secretly
We started this topic yesterday and we will continue today. Like I wrote before, I will take it slowly so that we can have ample time to discuss each point in-depth and we can meditatively make necessary adjustments in our marriage.
It is important that each husband and wife find time to discuss these practical steps. We have busy schedules but if we must build a happy and lasting marriage, we have to find the time. We find time for what is important.
Our marriage and family is the personal gift God has given us. He will ask us how we handled it and what we made out of it.
Let’s continue:
2. Be quick to forgive your spouse.
Marriage is two forgivers living together. Some spouses already have it in their mind some offense they can never forgive. Be quick to forgive and quick to apologize. Forgive and stop referring to past wrongdoings. Never go to bed angry or with unsettled quarrels because you have time to brood over it and the devil has the opportunity to magnify it. Love forgives. Learn to accept apologies.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Love the person you married.
This is as much an instruction to the husband as it is to the wife. You must love the person you married not the person you wished you married. This will eradicate all forms of the complaint. If you know you are married and as it were, you are stuck together for life, weakness, strength and all, instead of complaining and comparing your spouse, you will find a way to reach a compromise about each other weaknesses.
You cannot love the spouse you have not accepted. Love seeks to accept. Until you accept your spouse, you cannot get the best out of marriage. Accept each other but love each other enough not to leave him/her to minimize their weaknesses
4. Meet the needs of each other.
Be generous to your spouse and children. Let your spouse know you are on the top priority list after God the giver of life. Provide the needs of the children. Don’t spend money meant for the upkeep of the children. Your wife knows and is assured that you love her when you care for the children. There is a sense of security it gives her.
Provide for the needs of your wife. Your wife has a lot of needs. Be concerned about her needs. Spend to beautify her. Don’t hoard money from your wife. Discuss budget, savings and be as plain as you can be about money
God bless our marriage
May God grant us grace to do these things we are learning.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
A few days back, we talked about lessons from the story of creation. We talked about the power of words and how it’s important for you to speak the right words at all times.
We talked about the importance of light and how we need it, even in our daily lives. How it’s important to standout and be a problem solver.
We also talked about how God evaluated everything that was created and that he himself confirmed it was good. We learned that excellence is God’s style and we as his children should live with that standard.
Today we’ll be going further into the story of creation and picking out basic lessons from what God did.
Let’s read through verses 5-12 and see what we can learn.
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night. And the evening and the morning were the first day. And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the waters, and let it divide the waters from the waters. And God made the firmament, and divided the waters which were under the firmament from the waters which were above the firmament: and it was so. And God called the firmament Heaven. And the evening and the morning were the second day. And God said, Let the waters under the heaven be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry land appear: and it was so. And God called the dry land Earth; and the gathering together of the waters called he Seas: and God saw that it was good. And God said, Let the earth bring forth grass, the herb yielding seed, and the fruit tree yielding fruit after his kind, whose seed is in itself, upon the earth: and it was so. And the earth brought forth grass, and herb yielding seed after his kind, and the tree yielding fruit, whose seed was in itself, after his kind: and God saw that it was good. Genesis 1:5 – 12 KJV
4. God is a God of Order.
After he made the two great lights, he placed one in the day and the one in the night.
As children of God, we should learn to bring order and arrangements to whatever we do.
Proper arrangements makes us different and it’s a good standard to show the world that we truly are of God.
Beyond the light, God worked on the water and the earth, he divided them beautifully such that one doesn’t interrupt the other.
Let’s continue with this tomorrow, there are still a lot to learn from the story of creation. Have a blessed day.
Prayer: Lord, teach me how to be creative like you. Amen
Action point: Be a person of order
Declaration: I am a person of order, just like my God
This is the concluding part of this series. If you missed any of the devotionals, go HERE
6. Deceptive Lovers
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious.
They are unapproachable and unreachable. Their self-deception becomes a wall that fences up their destinies.
But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it wasting time on what would not work.
7. Unforgiving Lovers
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker.
If one of the couple is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier in resolving the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
Root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including the children defiled.
The way out! So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate.
Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective.
I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
I will be taking us on a series and I believe it will help our marriages. The points I will be sharing with us are from a Whatsapp post. I will not just be giving us points but will be taking out time to discuss the points and how it affects our marriage.
If you can also discuss these points with your spouse or in a small group as we do on KHC women whatsapp group, it will be more effective.
Why do we have to build a happy and lasting Marriage? Because like any institution, marriage has the capacity to become old and obsolete. It is our responsibility to build into our marriage values that will keep it renewed.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Like a machine, it has to be greased, oiled, serviced and its parts replaced or repaired. In marriage, no one knows it all. When the husband begins to think he is right all of the time and cannot be wrong, trouble is brewing.
We want to be sure the ingredients we are using to build our marriage can stand the test of time. We need to raise a standard of the blood of Jesus against all that is militating against our marriage, especially in this end times.
There are specific wisdom needed to build our homes and marriages which does not answer to the wisdom we have in business or in nation building or in leadership, although some principles do apply.
Let’s go into the points.
1. Understand each other.
This is huge in any marriage that will succeed and will last. It will be pride for a husband and wife to think that they know or fully understand their spouse.
Understanding your spouse is what you will never graduate from. Both spouses must be willing and ready to keep on understanding each other.
You are different and may never be the same forever. Respect the fact that you are individuals with strengths and weaknesses.
The marriage is as strong as you strengthen each other’s weaknesses when you respond and not react to each other.
Marriage is like the jigsaw puzzle, the puzzles are never the same but fit perfectly to form a beautiful picture which individually can never be formed.
I will stop here today. May God build with us and help us build lasting marriages in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION OF THE DAY I seek to understand my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord I receive grace to understand my spouse more
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 3:8 Finally, be ye all of one mind, having compassion one of another, love as brethren, be pitiful, be courteous
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be patient to understand your spouse
The Shepherd raced through the trees, his heart pulsating madly inside his chest heavily. Baa! Baa! The cry came again. He shoved branches out of his way, not caring if they pricked his skin. The cry was getting closer as he reached the edge of the stream. Baa! Baa! Baa! Baa!
“Where are you?” Deep fear flooded his heart, dragging life out of him but he refused to believe the worst. Baa! Baa! The cries came just in front of him. He looked and moved closer to the trees in front of him, there he found his little one.
He broke into a sob at the sight of the bruises on its legs. Lifting it up slowly, he tenderly wrapped his arms around the lamb and began to walk home. He was happy that the one missing lamb was found.
Did you see how the shepherd ran to the rescue of his sheep? Did you see how the shepherd followed the voice of the sheep? That is how God comes to your rescue when you call.
Call on Jesus for help. He is your Shepherd and ever ready to help you. There’s even a song describing the type of love God has for us. It goes like this
Oh, the overwhelming, Never-ending Reckless love of God
Oh, it chases me down, fights till I’m found Leaves the ninety-nine.
I couldn’t earn it, I don’t deserve it. Still You give Yourself away
There’s no shadow You won’t light up Mountain You won’t climb up coming after me
There is no wall You won’t kick down Lie You won’t tear down Coming after me
God displays how much He loves us by going all the way to find us. Call out to Him today and let Him find you.
I myself will tend my sheep and give them a place to lie down in peace, says the Sovereign Lord. – Ezek. 34:15 NLT
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home.
Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments.
They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
They would make wrong decisions that are not founded on God’s word and of course, those decisions would not endure. They can also lose money based on their sentimental investments.
Sticking to God’s principles is difficult for these kinds of couples. They are unable to set their faces like a flint. They easily compromise based on their sentimental leanings.
To them, everything can be compromised as long as it appeals to their emotions.
5. Angry Lovers
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
There were two brothers in the Bible who were both given to anger. Their story did not end well.
Simeon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence are their weapons. [6] Oh my soul, do not come into their secret. Let not my honor be united with their assembly. For in their anger they killed a man, and in their self-will they hamstrung a bull. – Gen 49:5-6 (MKJV)
Their father placed a curse on them as a result!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel. I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel. – Gen 49:7 (AMPC)
That is where anger ends. Scattering! Division!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
According to the Oxford English Dictionary, the word trust is defined as the firm belief in the reliability, truth, or ability of someone or something.
Relationships have to be built on trust.
The very core, basis, and foundation of the marriage covenant is trust. Once the trust is ruptured, there is virtually nothing that can be done or said.
If the foundations be destroyed, what can the righteous do? – Psa 11:3
Once trust is broken for whatever reason, what is left is suspicion. Suspicion in marriage is so dangerous. It leaves either of the parties a victim in his/her own matrimonial home.
To be suspicious is, ‘causing one to have the idea or impression that someone or something is questionable, dishonest or dangerous.’
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
A marriage covenant is an oath or pledge between the couples to protect each other, help each other, defend each other, fight for each other, stand by each other, and much more.
In a covenant, the husband and wife are pledging to each other that your strength becomes my strength and your weaknesses become my weaknesses. I fight to defend your cause and I fight against your enemies. Your enemies are my enemies and your friends my friends.
Little wonder when God was cutting a covenant with Abraham he said
And I will bless them that bless thee, and curse him that curseth thee: and in thee shall all families of the earth be blessed. – Gen 12:3
When there is suspicion, the very foundation for the marriage covenant is broken.
When a husband or wife fails to trust his spouse, he may also have trust issues with God.
Lack of trust may be borne out of fear. Fear of the unknown, fear of losing your spouse, fear of infidelity, insecurities,
Another reason why suspicion is dangerous is that according to Job, what you fear, your open the door for the enemy to afflict. You literally open up your marriage to be oppressed by the devil.
For the thing which I greatly feared is come upon me, and that which I was afraid of is come unto me. – Job 3:25
Another basis for suspicion is a lack of genuine love and forgiveness. When you find it difficult to forgive whole-heartedly. You hold on to the past and make that the basis of your conduct in marriage.
To enjoy your marriage and to experience your strengths being multiplied, you need to trust one another and lift up each other in prayers.
It is my prayer that the Lord help us all to uproot seeds of suspicion in our marriages.
God bless our marriages.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I trust my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me how to trust my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to show genuine love to your spouse.
