Gifts are one of the love languages as postulated by Gary Chapman.
Below are a few of my thoughts concerning this topic.
1. Don’t Manipulate Your Spouse Into Gifts Buying
As married couples, the idea is not to disconnect or quarrel with your spouse if he or she is not speaking your language.
You can lovingly discuss with your spouse what makes you happy. You can also reach out and buy him or her gifts and then your spouse does the same in return.
2. Intertwined
As married couples, acts of service and gifts are intertwined. This is because you can give your time, encouragement, empathy, show your love to her in the kitchen and give her some of your time, watch a football match with him when you will rather be having a nap.
But there are people who associate gifts as a love language to have a lot of money.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
3. Eat your cake and have it?
Some single ladies have different guys for different purposes. Some to buy them phones and tabs, some to pay their rent, some to load their phones, some to buy them air tickets, some to load them with cash… well, this is not about love language, it is more of trying to eat your cake and have it.
If this idea and way of living is brought into the marriage, there will be a lot of issues.
It is more of greed and covetousness. It is more of being caught in the web of the deceitfulness of riches. It is not consistent with God’s principles and this will rather slow you down in your journey to a good marriage.
4. Conclusion
In conclusion, and in expressing this language, let God’s word guide you and keep you within godly boundaries.
Don’t borrow to give gifts. Don’t take a loan just to impress someone.
Don’t start what you cannot sustain. Don’t spend the money you don’t have to buy things that are not needed in order to impress people that are not looking.
Learning the principle of giving. Examine this: Sade tossed the bag of chips to Titi. The bag hit the sharp edge of the table and its contents spilled over the dirty floor. The whole class burst into laughter at this and Titi ran out of the class with tears streaming down her face.
‘I wanted to give her the chips since she asked for it.’ Sade said, laughing with the others. ‘Now she made me waste my chips.’
‘Then why did you throw it? You could have just given it to her.’ Anne scolded Sade.
‘She should have caught it. it’s just a bag of chips.’ Said Sade.
‘How would you feel if someone did the same to you?’ Asked Anne.
Yes, how would you feel if someone wanted to give you something and did so in the wrong way? Like Sade did to Titi.
When you want to give someone something or do them a favour, do so the way you would want to be done for or to you.
The bible tells us that how we give is how we will receive; “Good measure pressed down and running over”
Remember, God gave us life and He never treats us bad just because He is our Maker. He expects us to give in a way that will please Him. A way that we will expect to be given too.
So, remember to give the way you would want to be given. I trust that you have learntLearning the principle of giving
Prayer: Dear Father, forgive me for the times I have given the wrong way. Help me to remember to always give the way I would want to be given too, in Jesus name. Amen.
Action point: Give just the way you would want to be given.
Declaration: I am not selfish. I give the way I would love to receive.
I want to bring to our remembrance something really important this morning. Dear child, you are a special gift! Yes, you! You really are.
It is something we know, but we sometimes allow the devil fill our minds with negative and false thoughts. This was exactly what happened to Jude.
Jude was always moody. He was always downcast and sad. He just couldn’t fathom certain things going on around him.
One thing that kept coming to his mind was that his parents loves his siblings more than they love him. He didn’t see himself as a special gift.
He fought this thought for weeks until his Sunday school teacher read this verse in church yesterday.
Gen 4:1 (KJV)And Adam knew Eve his wife; and she conceived, and bare Cain, and said, I have gotten a man from the Lord.
Dear children, this is how I want you to see yourselves henceforth. You are a special gift from God to your parents.
You are not a mistake. You are not ordinary. You came at the very right time God wanted you to come.
We all know God gives good gifts. That means you are a good gift to your parents, not just an ordinary gift.
Every good and perfect gift comes down from the Father who created all the lights in the heavens. He is always the same and never makes dark shadows by changing.
James 1:17 (CEV)
Don’t conclude your life because of your present situation. You are a special gift.
Look on the bright side. You are perfect because God made you so.
Parents, let’s do well to encourage our children, assuring them of God’s love.
Prayer: Lord, thank you because I see myself the same way you see me. Amen
Action point: Tell yourself you are a special gift to your parents.
Declaration: I am a gift to my parents and to this generation.
Yea, we aregetting close to the end of discussing love languages and I hope you are getting blessed. If you have questions you may ask and at the end of the topic we will try and answer them.
It bears repetition, that it is the husband’s responsibility to love his wife. God commanded the husband to love his wife. What God commanded the wife is to respect and honor her husband.
Eph 5:25 Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it;
Maybe it is because naturally, a wife loves her husband. What is not natural is for a husband to love. Men find it more difficult to show or express love. Women find it easy to love but difficult to respect. So God says focus on what is unnatural with you to do and get better at it as I give you strength. It is not going to be easy but once you are prepared to love your wife and ask God for strength, He will give you.
Your wife will sense love when you speak any one of these love languages. There will be one or at most two of these languages that will readily resonate with your wife. Be very tactical in discovering which one it is and start speaking it.
Note, it is not that you cannot express love by using any one of these languages, but we are looking at the one that best describes your wife’s love language.
The 5 love languages are:
1. Words of affirmation 2. Quality time 3. Service 4. Gifts 5. Physical touch
We will look at the next one.
4. Gifts
In this love language, you have to be a giver and enjoy it. If this is your wife’s primary love language. It is a love language for the giving husband or let’s say the thoughtful husband. Even though not all rich husband express their love in this way. It is advisable to show your wife love this way if you want her full cooperation.
Here, the gift does not have to be expensive. It just has to be a gift. A box of chocolate, a bar of candy, something for her hair, a roll-on, soap, perfume, earrings and the list goes on and on.
However, the gift needs to be thoughtful. Your wife can’t need a perfume and you buy her a knife. It is not just buying anything. There are appropriate gifts and inappropriate gifts. There are also gifts that speak volumes and the ones that are casual gifts. There are gifts that show your thoughtfulness and there are gifts that reveal your absent mindedness.
You should not buy your wife a gift and you buy a shoe three times short her size. You buy a winter jacket in summer. It has to be meaningful, useful and thoughtful.
If your wife’s love language is expressed by giving her gifts, then it has to be consistent. Buy her gifts regularly, not once in a blue moon. Don’t let her receive one gift now and have to pray in tongues for months before you buy her another. Let it be as consistent as it can be especially since it is not expensive. It is better not to be expensive but consistent than expensive but inconsistent.
Let her special days not end without you buying her a gift. Your gifts mean so much to her. Each time she uses it or sees them, she is happy to know that you bought them for her.When she thinks of how many gifts you have bought for her, let her feel grateful to God for you. Her love tank is full, knowing that you love her.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will love my wife consistently
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father, empower me, to love my wife consistently.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:16 A man’s gift maketh room for him, and bringeth him before great men
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Buy a gift for your wife today
It is important that our children learn how to give. Let’s start by looking at that Scripture in Psalms that talks about how we have been wonderfully made.
Ps 139:14, KJV I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvellous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well.
The bible tells us that we are wonderfully and beautifully made by God. Can you imagine yourself as beautiful and wonderful? Do you see yourself as ordinary? Do you see yourself as someone with no talent or gift, with nothing to give or share with others?
God couldn’t have made you so beautiful and wonderful then leave you empty. No. You are a masterpiece from the Creator’s hands, so you must learn how to give. Even the stones He created give praise to His name when you admire them. When you look at the rainbow in the sky and smile, you are praising God
Your Creator didn’t create you without something to give. No one should complain that they have nothing to give. You have something to give. It could be a thing or an action.
You have a lot to give, children. More than you can ever imagine. You could give out your clothes if you’ve outgrown them, your toys, shoes, or books. Do you know that your smile could be a gift to someone who is down and just needs someone to notice and smile at them? You should learn how to give.
Your time is also a gift you can give to teach a friend or classmate who is struggling to understand lessons at school.
Praying for others is another thing you can give. You can pray for your parents, guardians, friends, siblings, pastor, teachers, neighbours, classmates, and so on.
Helping your parents or guardians at home is another good way to use your time; therefore learn how to give by helping your parents.
Whatever it is you plan to give to others, ensure you tell your parents or guardians.
God bless you as you give. Amen.
Prayer: Heavenly Father, thank you for how you made me. I am glad that I have more than I give. Teach me new ways to give to others. I learn how to give. Enable me to be a giver, to the glory of your name, Amen.
Declaration: My children learn to give. They do not withhold more than necessary.
