Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
There are so many things that couples know that singles don’t have a clue about. I know some singles won’t agree…until they marry!
Being in a committed relationship can be a unique and transformative experience. Here are the top ten things that couples know that singles may not have an idea of.
1. Love is a Choice.
Couples know that love is not just a feeling, but a conscious decision to prioritize and commit to each other every day. Singles think they will forever feel love towards their spouse after the wedding! Should we tell them? The reality is that you will wake up some days and won’t feel an iota of love. Love then becomes a choice, a decision you make, not because of what you feel. Feelings are fleeting and fickle, so you cannot rely on them.
2. Communication is Key.
Couples understand that effective communication is crucial for building trust, resolving conflicts, and deepening their connection. Couples know they have to keep talking whether they like it or not. Singles think they will naturally flow all the time, but sometimes a spouse wants to be alone. Effort must be made to sustain communication at such times.
3. Intimacy Goes Beyond Sex.
This is one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that intimacy encompasses emotional vulnerability, trust, and a deep sense of connection that transcends physical intimacy. Couples know that intimacy is not all about marriage; they know that beyond intimacy, there are deeper cords that bind the couple together.
4. Compromise is Essential.
Couples have learned that finding common ground and compromising is vital for navigating differences and building a strong partnership. Singles can stubbornly stay with their opinion and think that is the way it is generally. But couples know you have to find a middle ground within the context of God’s word most of the time.
5. Independence is Important.
Couples recognize that maintaining individuality and personal interests is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This is what will prevent unnecessary meltdowns during mid-life crises.
6. Fights are Inevitable and Necessary.
Couples know that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and can actually strengthen their bond if navigated constructively. Singles can sweep things under the carpet or even pretend to be nice. But in marriage, things happen live in 3D! Good couples have learned to disagree without being disagreeable. Some singles are under the illusion that they will never disagree because they are “in love.”
7. Supporting Each Other’s Growth.
Couples understand the importance of supporting each other’s personal growth, goals, and aspirations. Couples know they are limited when they are not together. They know the reality of one chasing a thousand and two chasing ten thousand. Couples know they have to be on the same page.
8. Vulnerability is a Strength.
Couples have learned that being vulnerable and open with each other is a sign of strength, not weakness. Couples have realized the importance of the following scripture:
Jas 5:16 (TPT) Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!
They know that vulnerability is strength! Period! It requires courage to peel back the layers, revealing one’s true self to another.
9. Relationships Take Work.
This is another one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that relationships require effort, patience, and dedication to maintain and deepen their connection. Some singles are living on fantasy island. Couples know they have to work on their marriage. They know that marriage only works when they have decided to work at it. Like tending to a delicate garden, they nurture the seeds of love and tend to its growth, watering it with kindness, understanding, and unwavering devotion.
10. Unconditional Love is Real.
Couples have experienced the transformative power of unconditional love and acceptance, which can bring a profound sense of security and joy to their relationship. It is a love that transcends flaws, imperfections, and the changing tides of life. Couples know that a love that is not selfish but selfless is what will get the job done.
By recognizing and embracing these truths, couples can build a strong, resilient, and loving partnership that brings happiness and fulfillment to both individuals.
Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
Marriage is an institution that has existed for thousands of years. It’s a union between two people who commit themselves to one another in the most intimate and personal way possible. The fact that it’s lasted this long suggests there is something about marriage itself that we value. But what, exactly?
Here are a few thoughts on what makes a good marriage.
A good marriage is based on respect
A good marriage is based on respect. Respect is a two-way street. It means that each partner respects the other person’s feelings and opinions, as well as their own.
This doesn’t mean that couples are never at odds with one another. Conflict is inevitable in any healthy relationship, but it should never be allowed to escalate into disrespect of one another.
The partners need to be open to speaking frankly with one another, while also listening attentively to one another and understanding the other person’s perspective or point of view.
Communication is key
It sounds very cliché, but it’s true: communication is key to achieving a good marriage. You have to talk to each other and work on the problems together.
There’s nothing worse than being married and not knowing what your spouse feels like because they don’t talk to you.
One of the most important aspects of a successful marriage is good communication.
There are many ways to communicate, but it’s particularly important for both parties to share their feelings and thoughts with one another.
For example, if one partner feels neglected and begins to withdraw from the relationship, it’s vital that they tell the other person how they feel.
Communication creates understanding and can help prevent problems before they escalate.
To have a good marriage, you need to be committed
The commitment is the key ingredient for a good marriage. Successful marriages are about two people who are willing to commit to one another and work together through the good times and bad times.
It’s also so important that both partners are committed to the relationship. If one person isn’t committed, then it could doom the marriage from the start.
A good marriage isn’t perfect
The first thing to keep in mind about marriage is that it’s not perfect. Even when two people are deeply committed to one another, there will be times where you disagree and times where you might feel unhappy. But with a good marriage, these disagreements are just part of the process.
In fact, research suggests that a marriage can grow stronger after a disagreement has taken place because the couple knows they have each other’s back. This type of relationship is better able to withstand the inevitable challenges life throws at it.
Marriage is work
Marriage is work. It’s not just a piece of paper you sign to make it valid. Marriage takes commitment and sacrifice – but the rewards are worth it.
You have to make time for one another
Marriage is all about commitment, and making time for one another is a big part of it. Too many couples put everything else in their lives ahead of their significant others. That’s not what marriage is about! You need to make time for your spouse or you will lose them.
Love is also an important aspect of a good marriage. If you don’t love each other, get divorced. Marriage should be about more than just living together and having kids. It should be about loving each other unconditionally and doing whatever you can to make the other person happy.
Lastly, take care of yourself as well as your spouse, do things that make you happy without feeling guilty!
This will help ensure that your marriage lasts longer because it won’t feel like a burden or obligation anymore.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is a blessing
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, do a miracle in my marriage today.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Marriage is honourable in all, and the bed undefiled: but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge. – Heb 13:4 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Put the above points to use.
There are some things every couple must not joke with in the marriage. They must constantly ensure these things are present in their marriage no matter what happens.
Marriage is for two mature people that are whole. Each person brings his or her wholeness to the marriage to form a whole marriage.
In the natural, it is half plus half that makes whole but in a godly marriage, the equation is different. It is whole plus whole that makes one or whole. In fact, it is whole plus whole plus God that makes a whole entity in marriage.
So let’s look into these few things.
1. Agreement
Do two walk together except they make an appointment and have agreed? – Amo 3:3
There must be an agreement between the couple. They must ensure they always come to a place of agreement. It takes a lot of maturity, respect, and understanding to do that.
I remember when my husband first told me we will be praying online every day 5:30 am to 6:00 am. On that first morning, my body wanted to resist. I had to put my body under and be in agreement for us to do the will of God. And now my body clock has adjusted.
In such a way, we must be in agreement so we can achieve great feats in our lives.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
2. Effective Communication
Your relationship started in the first place because you were able to effectively communicate to your lady that you love her and that you want her to marry you. You made your intentions known to her.
This communication must be an essential tool throughout your marriage and you must be skillful in using it.
Both men and women need to be skillful in communicating. Timing is also important in communication. There are certain times to say certain things. There is the best time when your husband will listen to what you have to say.
There is also the ‘how’, talking about the presentation of what you have to say. There is always a better way to arrange your points, especially if your husband is pretty smart, intelligent, and not too patient. You want to present the most important issues first and sandwich it with accolades.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am in agreement with my spouse in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my spouse in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
A person is said to be committed when he or she is pledged or bound to a certain course or policy, when he or she is devoted to a task or purpose, exclusively allocated to or intended for a particular purpose.
So a person is committed to his/her spouse when he/she is bound or pledged to the course of the marriage covenant.
First, being committed to your spouse is a thing of the heart. You must have it settled in your heart that you have the best spouse given to you by God.
You may have to work hard at achieving being the best. Being committed to your marriage vows is doing everything possible to keep the bond of peace.
There will always be differences but the ability to handle our differences in a mature way is love.
A good understanding of what is expected of you as a married couple is very important. You must have a personal vision for your marriage.
It shows you are 100% committed to your spouse when you give him/her your undivided support. Some are giving their support but it is not full support.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
Some are committed and in the marriage as long as their feathers are not rough and everything is fine.
Job’s wife was not totally committed. Our commitment is revealed more during the hard times. I believe that is why the marriage vows says ‘ ….for better for worse, for richer for poorer’ that is 100% commitment.
Ruth is a good example of a wife that is committed. Her commitment was even unto death and way after death.
Ask yourself are you like Ruth or Jobs wife?
In these days when husbands and wives commitment to each other are just on border line. We ask God to give us Christian homes and make us Christ like husbands and wives, whose commitment is 100%
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am committed to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be committed to my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:7 Beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things.
