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The Top Ten Secrets Couples Keep from Singles

There are so many things that couples know that singles don’t have a clue about. I know some singles won’t agree…until they marry!

Being in a committed relationship can be a unique and transformative experience. Here are the top ten things that couples know that singles may not have an idea of.

1. Love is a Choice.

Couples know that love is not just a feeling, but a conscious decision to prioritize and commit to each other every day. Singles think they will forever feel love towards their spouse after the wedding! Should we tell them? The reality is that you will wake up some days and won’t feel an iota of love. Love then becomes a choice, a decision you make, not because of what you feel. Feelings are fleeting and fickle, so you cannot rely on them.

2. Communication is Key.

Couples understand that effective communication is crucial for building trust, resolving conflicts, and deepening their connection. Couples know they have to keep talking whether they like it or not. Singles think they will naturally flow all the time, but sometimes a spouse wants to be alone. Effort must be made to sustain communication at such times.

3. Intimacy Goes Beyond Sex.

This is one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that intimacy encompasses emotional vulnerability, trust, and a deep sense of connection that transcends physical intimacy. Couples know that intimacy is not all about marriage; they know that beyond intimacy, there are deeper cords that bind the couple together.

4. Compromise is Essential.

Couples have learned that finding common ground and compromising is vital for navigating differences and building a strong partnership. Singles can stubbornly stay with their opinion and think that is the way it is generally. But couples know you have to find a middle ground within the context of God’s word most of the time.

5. Independence is Important.

Couples recognize that maintaining individuality and personal interests is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This is what will prevent unnecessary meltdowns during mid-life crises.

6. Fights are Inevitable and Necessary.

Couples know that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and can actually strengthen their bond if navigated constructively. Singles can sweep things under the carpet or even pretend to be nice. But in marriage, things happen live in 3D! Good couples have learned to disagree without being disagreeable. Some singles are under the illusion that they will never disagree because they are “in love.”

7. Supporting Each Other’s Growth.

Couples understand the importance of supporting each other’s personal growth, goals, and aspirations. Couples know they are limited when they are not together. They know the reality of one chasing a thousand and two chasing ten thousand. Couples know they have to be on the same page.

8. Vulnerability is a Strength.

Couples have learned that being vulnerable and open with each other is a sign of strength, not weakness. Couples have realized the importance of the following scripture:

Jas 5:16 (TPT) Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!

They know that vulnerability is strength! Period! It requires courage to peel back the layers, revealing one’s true self to another.

9. Relationships Take Work.

This is another one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that relationships require effort, patience, and dedication to maintain and deepen their connection. Some singles are living on fantasy island. Couples know they have to work on their marriage. They know that marriage only works when they have decided to work at it. Like tending to a delicate garden, they nurture the seeds of love and tend to its growth, watering it with kindness, understanding, and unwavering devotion.

10. Unconditional Love is Real.

Couples have experienced the transformative power of unconditional love and acceptance, which can bring a profound sense of security and joy to their relationship. It is a love that transcends flaws, imperfections, and the changing tides of life. Couples know that a love that is not selfish but selfless is what will get the job done.

By recognizing and embracing these truths, couples can build a strong, resilient, and loving partnership that brings happiness and fulfillment to both individuals.