5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. Bode and Sade got married a few years back. Bode was the quiet easy going gentle giant while Sade is the vivacious hard laughing babe! And that was the attraction. Bode wanted an exciting wife to complement his inward introvert nature. And he got that for a few days only after their wedding.
Today, Sade is a shadow of herself. Bode is frustrated and Sade is hurt and bitter. What happened? Well, life happened, temperamental weaknesses visited and hibernated reactions came to life.
What really happened? They both came into the marriage with high expectations. They’ve had their fair share of quarrels here and there, but those were just child’s play compared to what they are experiencing.
Sade didn’t like harsh words because she was raised in a family where one single abusive word was never used.
Bode grew in an environment where he was cooked with negative utterances and vituperations.
Bode gave what he had. Sade reacted by withdrawing into her shell. Every excitement which Bode liked disappeared. Bode was frustrated and dished out more of the only thing he knew, harsh words.
He didn’t understand why just “stating the facts” can affect his wife. He believes his wife didn’t want to hear the truth!
He obviously forgot the scripture that says
Eph 4:15 (KJV) But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:
The truth must be spoken in love! Do you think your fiancee is reacting? Is your wife no longer talking and she is withdrawn? The reason might not be far-fetched.
Here are five examples of words you should not say to your wife or fiancee
5 Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage
I thought I married a joyful wife. You are obviously a sadist The priest of the house should not say something like this.
I don’t like the way you make stupid mistakes. I am having doubts about this wedding/marriage She would make more mistakes if you are not careful
You are too slow for me. With the way we are going, we won’t last in this relationship/marriage You might end up having exactly what you said. Words are powerful.
What is wrong with you? You keep making mistakes every day. Are sure you are okay? She would lose her self-esteem and have self-doubts.
I am not sure you are well brought up. My mum is not like this. She is not lazy and she took care of my dad! Comparison in marriage is sacrilege!
These are just a few examples of Things Men Shouldn’t Say In Marriage. These kinds of statements will be like piercings of the swords in the heart of your wife. Sometimes it is the other way around and it is the husband on receiving end.
Whichever way, you are where you are today because of the words you have spoken. Start changing your vocabulary and let them be aligned with God’s word!
May God grant you grace to be a gracious person, whose tongue is bridled in your relationship or marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will speak healthy words.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bridle my tongue and take every pain away in my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:15 (GNB) Instead, by speaking the truth in a spirit of love, we must grow up in every way to Christ, who is the head.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t talk when you are angry
It’s possible you have been waiting for certain things to happen. You may be waiting for your business to take off, waiting for that next big raise, or waiting for a new job. It can be easy to get stuck in a rut of disappointment, and it can seem like the only way out is to wait for something better to come along. But what if there was a different way? What if you could break the yokes of delay and stagnation by making small changes in your life?
Delay is a yoke. Stagnation is a yoke. That looks like a bad news! But you know what? There is also good news! The yoke of delay and stagnation can be broken!
Let’s take a look at the scriptures.
And by thy sword shalt thou live, and shalt serve thy brother; and it shall come to pass when thou shalt have the dominion, that thou shalt break his yoke from off thy neck. – Gen 27:40 (KJV)
Take a look at The Message Translation.
You’ll live by your sword, hand-to-mouth, and you’ll serve your brother. But when you can’t take it any more you’ll break loose and run free. – Gen 27:40 (MSG)
What steps do you take to break off these yokes?
Step 1: Get restless. Be angry.
Get to the point when you can’t take it anymore. When you get to this point, you are getting ready to break loose from the yokes of delay and stagnation.
Recognize the problem. The first step to breaking the yokes of delay and stagnation is recognizing you have a problem. The first step to solving your problem is admitting that it exists.
Recognizing what’s holding you back from success can be a difficult process, but it’s necessary if you want to move forward.
Step 2: Identify Your Thoughts and Beliefs
One of the most important steps to breaking the yokes of delay and stagnation is identifying your thoughts and beliefs.
What are you thinking? How are you feeling? What do you think about this situation? Noticing what your thoughts and beliefs are can help you change the way you approach your situation.
Sometimes, when things don’t work out, we make it seem like it’s because of something that someone else did or didn’t do. But really, it came down to how we were thinking.
If we want to break the yokes of delay and stagnation, one thing we can start with is noticing our thoughts. Once you identify what your thoughts are, it may be easier to change them into something more empowering.
For example: “I’m a failure because I haven’t reached my goal yet” becomes “I’m doing everything I can to reach my goals.” This could be just enough to break free from the negative thought pattern that’s keeping us stuck in our rut!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY No more delays. My wedding is happening soonest.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I bind the spirit of delay in my life in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Is it not yet a very little while, and Lebanon shall be turned into a fruitful field, and the fruitful field shall be esteemed as a forest? – Isaiah 29:17 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Start preparing for your marriage now.
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home.
Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments.
They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
They would make wrong decisions that are not founded on God’s word and of course, those decisions would not endure. They can also lose money based on their sentimental investments.
Sticking to God’s principles is difficult for these kinds of couples. They are unable to set their faces like a flint. They easily compromise based on their sentimental leanings.
To them, everything can be compromised as long as it appeals to their emotions.
5. Angry Lovers
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it. An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
There were two brothers in the Bible who were both given to anger. Their story did not end well.
Simeon and Levi are brothers; tools of violence are their weapons.  Oh my soul, do not come into their secret. Let not my honor be united with their assembly. For in their anger they killed a man, and in their self-will they hamstrung a bull. – Gen 49:5-6 (MKJV)
Their father placed a curse on them as a result!
Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce, and their wrath, for it was cruel. I will divide them in Jacob and scatter them in Israel. – Gen 49:7 (AMPC)
That is where anger ends. Scattering! Division!
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Angry situations occur in life. We feel angry when people do or say things about us that we don’t like. Anger is an emotion that can lead us to say harsh words to others.
Your sibling wears your shirt without your permission and stains it. It’s probably happened a couple of times and you have warned him. Yet, he failed to listen but this time you plan to give him a piece of your mind.
Harsh words fly out of your mouth and land on your brother. Soon the poor boy has tears in his eyes or he suddenly loses self-esteem and locks himself up in his room for the whole day. You must therefore learn how to manage angry situations.
Your brother is not right in taking your shirt without your permission. You are not right also with your choice of words.
Instead of your words helping the situation, they have only caused more harm. Choose your words carefully. Don’t speak out of anger. Even when someone hurts you, don’t hurt them back.
May God give you the grace for calming words.
Prayer: Lord, teach me not to speak out of anger to people around me. Amen
There are certain rules that govern the affairs of any successful marriage. These rules or laws can be applied by any person. That is why someone who is not a Christian can have a good marriage if she/he applies these rules. That is the secret of some of our old parents who despite all, kept their marriage.
Wisdom such as
* When angry don’t talk.
* Calm down and don’t overreact
* When one person is angry the other person should try and keep calm
* A soft response always saves the day.
* Good food is the way to a man’s heart
All these are natural wisdom but have their root in biblical truths.
Let’s check out two of these biblical facts and truth.
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:16 [KJV]
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
It is actually in the marriage that you can practice walking in the spirit the most. That’s why it is said that marriage is for the spiritual and the matured.
When we say you should be spiritual, it is for your good and for the good of your marriage.
Man has no original thoughts. Every thought is either from the devil or from God. When you are spiritually minded, you mind the things that pertain to God.
If you are carnally minded, you mind the things that pertain to the flesh. So you walk in the flesh when you give mind to the thoughts of the flesh.
For example, your flesh wants to curse, fume, and fight back when you are abused and pushed to the wall. Your flesh wants to fight to finish and have to last word.
Whereas, when you are spiritually minded and led by the spirit of God and yield to the dictates of the spirit, you want to do things that are contrary to what your flesh wants you to do.
It is actually wise to be controlled and allow yourself to be influenced by the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit dictates to us how to live and we yield to Him, we experience peace and joy. He makes all things work together for our good.
When the Holy Spirit leads us to pray instead of talking back in anger, when he tells us to smile back at our spouses’ rude response, when we find the strength to labor out of love and not out of annoyance etc then God can work on our behalf to give us a miracle in our home and marriages
May God give us the strength to always yield and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit in our marriages.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk in the spirit and so I do not walk according to the dictates of my flesh
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to continually follow after your voice in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.