Most of the time, we get so much information that we do not care to be grounded in what we think we know and sometimes, head knowledge is different from real knowledge. You don’t know something until you are doing it.
So please don’t get itching ears as the Bible says for just what’s new. Let’s take time to be grounded and think about what I am writing about.
We have looked at
1. Know your spouse’s temperament
2. Don’t take each other for granted.
We will look at:
3. Don’t waste your energy being overly angry at your spouse.
We all get angry at our spouses. Our spouses do things we consider childish, silly, stupid, annoying, disobedient, etc, but please don’t fuss over any matter for so long.
The Bible told us to be angry but not to sin. Let the sun not go down on your anger.
Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
When we have these negative emotions, they do more harm than good. We are to forgive our spouse and not allow a root of bitterness.
Don’t let us dwell on the negative things they do. If not we give place to the devil and we will allow unforgiveness, hatred, suspicions, malice, wrath, etc
Anger in marriage weakens our bonds in marriage. We all can testify to the time we were angry at our spouses and would not talk to them. Sometimes, we are even on the same bed but wouldn’t talk to each other.
You may feel justifiable but you know what, little demons are rejoicing and having a nice time in your home and marriage. If this is not controlled on time, it may lead to some other negative effects.
Take time to think about what we are angry about. Really some of the time, it is not worth it. We want to get rid of as many negative emotions as possible from our lives.
Be angry if you must be but please get over it on time and move on to becoming a better person with a good attitude. After all, we are all a work in progress.
May God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY We root out negative emotions from our marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me, Lord to extend Mercy to my spouse in forgiveness
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 4:26 Be ye angry, and sin not: let not the sun go down upon your wrath:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Forgive your spouse on time and don’t be angry
We started on this yesterday. If you missed yesterday, read HERE
4. Two people who are sentimental
When two people who are sentimental get married, their lives will be devoid of principles that are meant to keep them focused and energetic in their marriage and home.
Two sentimental people will always judge a situation from a sentimental point of view rather than principles. In no time, they can ruin themselves because you cannot go very far living and swimming in the ocean of sentiments.
They would not be able to achieve much because they would have excuses for their mediocre lifestyles.
5. Two people who are often uncontrollably angry
Two angry people in a relationship and marriage cannot go far. See the scriptures:
Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul (Proverbs 22:24-25 KJV)
The scripture here advises that you should not get involved with somebody that has anger problems and who refuses to work at it.
An angry man can take a knife or gun one day and end it all. An angry wife can ruin things in seconds.
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Don’t hang out with angry people; don’t keep company with hotheads. Bad temper is contagious–– don’t get infected (Proverbs 22:24-25 Message)
6. Two people who are deceptive
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other.
They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out.
Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.
(Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth it to waste time on what would not work.
Mr. and Mrs. George are two of a kind. They both have short fuses. They get angry so easily and frequently. As a result, they live in cycles of quarrels and strife. Before the last quarrel was settled, two fresh ones have started. As a result, they never really get to enjoy their married life. They were both swimming in the slimy waters of strife and perpetual bitterness and their arrogance blinded them to what they were missing with that posture.
Their prayers remained largely unanswered. Their peculiarity was that both of them were getting angry at the same time. Two guys were like that in the scriptures. They were eventually scattered.
Simeon and Levi are two of a kind, ready to fight at the drop of a hat. I don’t want anything to do with their vendettas, want no part in their bitter feuds; They kill men in fits of temper, slash oxen on a whim. A curse on their uncontrolled anger, on their indiscriminate wrath. I’ll throw them out with the trash; I’ll shred and scatter them like confetti throughout Israel.
Gen 49:5-7 (MSG)
That would be the end, scattered. Usually, these quick expressions of anger are a result of unresolved issues. This is why it is good and healthy to talk about issues troubling you and not sweep them under the carpet.
Nothing is swept under the carpet really, they only go into the depth of the belly, like magma within the crust of the earth, breathing, hot, and mad, waiting for an appropriate provocation to explode in a volcanic eruption.
As couples, ensure both of you do not get angry at the SAME TIME!
In fits of anger, poor judgment results, twisted conclusions are reached and very regrettable words are spoken.
When your spouse is angry, try and control yourself as much as you can so that the event in question is not escalated unnecessarily.
May God grant you more wisdom!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not controlled by anger
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to control my emotions.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 49:5-7(KJV)Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their selfwill they digged down a wall.Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Go through the devotional again and make plans.
Yesterday, we started on this topic on dealing with anger issues. If you misses the devotional, you can read it here.
If you are in a relationship with someone who flies off the handle easily, learn to seek help. Don’t just keep quiet and don’t think he would just change naturally. It takes deliberate efforts to realize and then change!
Don’t get angry together and at the same time! Learn to calm down for one another! Get books and read and deal with than anger so that you don’t end up raising angry children who will take the anger to another level.
If you are in a relationship wherein both of you have serious anger problems and are not patient with each other, that is not too good. Start working on it now, so that your coming together which is supposed to translate into strength will not be the other way round.
Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
Here are practical ways to deal with problems of anger
1. Pray about it and ask God to help you by His Spirit
2. Seek help from your pastor or mentors
3. Stay in God’s word. Your soul can be restored when you meditate regularly in God’s word
4. Get good books that address the weakness and study
5. Discuss with your finance/spouse and look at how you can deal with the weakness
6. Learn to keep quiet when you are angry. You often say things you will regret later, but the words, like swords could have done the harm.
7. Do not make quick decisions while you are angry. Your sense of judgment is warped at such times.
8. Forgive easily. Don’t be revengeful and stubborn. Let God handle the situation for you.
9. Don’t allow anger and hurts to push you into sexual sins because you want get back at your ex or your spouse. That will complicate issues for you.
10. Don’t listen to someone who appears ‘nice’ and wants you to sin when you are hurting badly. It is usually a trap of the devil to complicate issues when a ‘nice’ person suddenly shows up when you are at loggerheads with your spouse. Be careful!
There are more, but I believe these practical ways will be of help.
I rebuke every spirit behind anger and wrath in your life, relationship and marriage in Jesus name. I pray for God’s help over you in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not an angry person. I am cool and level-headed. I am delivered from anger issues I might have been exhibiting.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from anger issues I have.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:32 KJV He that is slow to anger is better than the mighty; and he that ruleth his spirit than he that taketh a city.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make use of the practical ways listed above.
I’m sure you have felt angry before. The feeling you have inside your heart when someone or something gets under your skin; that’s anger. You feel all the blood pumping inside your heart, ready to release some very harsh words through your mouth and actions. When it’s a person, you want to say bad words to them or harm them back. If it’s a situation you might likely scream out or yell or hit the wall or something.
Everyone feels anger. It’s a human emotion. Even God that isn’t human feels anger. Jesus felt angry when He saw how the people turned the temple into a market place.
But it was almost time for the Jewish Passover Feast. So Jesus went to Jerusalem. In the Temple he found men selling cattle, sheep, and doves. He saw others sitting at tables, exchanging money. Jesus made a whip out of cords. Then he forced all these men, with the sheep and cattle, to leave the Temple. He turned over the tables and scattered the money of the men who were exchanging it. Then he said to those who were selling pigeons, “Take these things out of here! Don’t make my Father’s house a place for buying and selling!” John 2:13-16 ICB
Anger isn’t necessarily bad on its own. It’s what you do or say when you’re angry that is the major issue with getting angry.
Jesus spoke about anger in the bible. He showed how to not let your anger remain in your heart overnight. If your sibling offends you in the morning and you remain angry at them till the next day, that’s bad. That’s what Jesus was talking about
You will face some situations in life that are beyond your control and get angry because of this. People will do or say stuff that you don’t like to you or someone close to you. That’s just the way life is.
In this series, we will be looking at how you, as a child, can and should handle anger.
I pray that God will give His Holy Spirit to minister to you. in Jesus’ name, Amen.
Lord, help me deal with every spirit of anger in me. Amen.