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Emotional availability is necessary for a good relationship or courtship to lead to marriage and also for a good marriage to work out.

However, there are a lot of ladies and young men who are emotionally unavailable and yet are praying desperately to get married. It is not going to work like that.

It is like somebody praying to graduate without going to school. That would never happen without the first.

You can be emotionally available without messing up. You can be emotionally available without being taken for granted and desecrated by sexual opportunists.

Emotional availability is necessary for a healthy relationship that will lead to marriage.

One of the greatest love mishaps is to fall in love with an emotionally unavailable person. It is an affliction of the soul and it is a waste of time.

How do you spot a person that is not available emotionally?

1. He is cooling off

His hands have just been burnt in a past relationship. His heart has just been broken in a former relationship where he or she has given all his heart but is heavily disappointed.

That person is simply emotionally unavailable.

His love or her love is ambidextrously intertwined with the old and the potential new.

It is like drinking a melange of old and new wine. The alcoholic consequence will culminate in a collateral damage. 

The emotions are confused and he or she is still smarting from the love that went sour. The taste is still left in his mouth and taste buds are numb from experiencing the new.

In his or her subconscious, there is still a wish that the old should have worked out. He or she is still missing out on something or he thinks something is still missing.

It even gets worse if they had been sexually involved, and the illegal cementing of the souls complicate issues.

The way out is always never to jump into a new relationship as a way to numb his pain.

A person who just broke up and is still hurt still has his or her emotions in a confused state and such a person is simply not available to begin a new relationship. 

I always advocate that a minimum of six months should be given before you move into another relationship.

This will enable a proper emotional severing and disconnection, a time of healing and cleansing of the soul and preparing the soul for the new.

God is always a good God.

When a relationship breaks up or doesn’t work out, God will always give a new direction but it is not something you should rush into!

So before you fall in love and allow unnecessary butterflies to start to flap their wings, are you emotionally available?

I will not be a wreck to my lover

Lord, help me to be emotionally stable

Rom 14:17(MSG) God’s kingdom isn’t a matter of what you put in your stomach, for goodness’ sake. It’s what God does with your life as he sets it right, puts it together, and completes it with joy.

Heal from the past before moving to the next

Rom 14

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