3. Physical Attraction: A Balance of Spirituality and Reality
While spirituality holds significant weight, physical attraction should not be overlooked. Marrying someone you find attractive contributes to long-term happiness. Avoid the pitfall of spending decades with a partner solely for financial stability. Don’t marry somebody you are not attracted to physically, only because you are attracted to his or her money! Choose someone who brings joy and contentment to your life.
Balancing Spirituality and Attraction
Acknowledging the importance of physical attraction doesn’t diminish the spiritual aspects of a union. Strive for a balance that ensures both spiritual fulfillment and a genuine appreciation for your partner’s appearance.
Don’t come around and say God forced you to marry somebody you are not attracted to! God is an intelligent God and would not lead you into such afflictions!
4. Mutual Love and Romance: Nurturing the Connection
Love and romance form the bedrock of a successful marriage. Proverbs 5:19 emphasizes the significance of cherishing one another. Never take love for granted, and make a conscious effort to fill your heart with thoughts of your spouse.
Nurturing Love and Romance
Delight in your partner’s presence, appreciate their qualities and nurture a connection filled with love and romantic gestures. Cultivate an environment where both partners continuously express affection.
Don’t be too spiritual to the point of being insensitive to your spouse!
5. Purpose and Destiny Alignment: Ensuring a Fulfilling Union
Above all, aligning with your partner’s purpose and destiny is paramount. Marriage should enhance, not overshadow, your love for God. Discussing life’s purpose, dreams, and alignment of minds becomes crucial.
Singles, discover “purpose” before the “propose!”
Fulfillment Beyond Marriage
Guard against losing fulfillment in God’s purpose due to the demands of marriage. If already married and feeling adrift, turn to prayer for guidance. Just as Joseph dreamt another dream, God can provide a new vision and heart fulfillment.
What are those things singles should look for? What are those things couples should pray for in their spouses? Let’s take a look this morning
1. The Fear of God: The Non-Negotiable Foundation
The foremost quality to seek in a life partner, non-negotiable and beyond compromise, is the fear of God. Beyond mere physical attributes, the fear of God stands tall. While beauty and attractiveness may fade, a partner with the fear of God brings enduring blessings. For those already married without observing these qualities, prayer can be a powerful tool to usher these virtues into your spouse’s life.
Embracing the Fear of God
The fear of God is the reason your spouse will not cheat on you! It is not because your spouse is a “Christian” it is because they have the fear of God. Look for the fear of God! Pray the fear of God into your spouse!
Personal faithfulness and steadfastness in relationships emanate from the fear of God. This foundational quality, exemplified by figures like Joseph, can prevent succumbing to temptations. Choosing a partner with a genuine, lasting fear of God ensures a steadfast and faithful union.
2. Integrity and Sincerity: Guiding Principles in Marriage
Second on the list is the indispensable duo of integrity and sincerity. Proverbs 11:3 states that the integrity of the upright guides them.
Embrace the belief that sincere and upright individuals exist; renew your mindset through God’s word. Dismissing all humanity based on one negative experience can hinder attracting the positive qualities you seek.
Guided by Integrity
Integrity is a guiding light in relationships, preventing the destructive consequences of deceit and transgressions. Seek a partner whose integrity aligns with the principles that guide a successful marriage.
Nothing is as frustrating as having a lying spouse. Trust is broken, suspicions are birthed, and trepidation is initiated to the extent that it affects the health of the spouse on the receiving end of these lying tantrums.
Be insincere! Be a person of integrity for the sake of yourself, your family, your children, and your God!
Good morning! I will conclude on this topic tomorrow!
Sube is a church girl. She goes to church regularly, belongs to the choir, and serves God passionately, but she is also caught up with some habitual sins, which she has not been able to confront for a long time.
Bro. Zeru is the fellowship head of his campus fellowship but has sexual relationships with some of the flock he is supposed to keep. He knows his lifestyle doesn’t please God, but he would find himself from time to time doing what he preaches against.
Mr & Mrs Balley want to serve God and they are doing all they can. It is just that they are both compromisers, they are seeing someone else. They know it is wrong, but they continue, thinking that somehow, things will just work out.
What is common with these people?
They are all involved with what is not going to work. They all hope God’s mercy will work for them, and it will work for a while.
Let’s take a look at the scriptures and see some principles.
Thirst Quenched by the Waters of God’s Word
In Isaiah 55:1 (KJV), God extends an invitation to everyone: “Ho, every one that thirsteth, come ye to the waters, and he that hath no money; come ye, buy, and eat; yea, come, buy wine and milk without money and without price.”
This invitation beckons individuals to seek sustenance that goes beyond material wealth. The “waters” symbolize God’s word, emphasizing the importance of acquiring spiritual insight through a dedicated heart and time investment.
Your legitimate thirst for a fulfilling life, successful marriage, and overall prosperity can only be quenched through genuine devotion and regular immersion in God’s word. Contrary invitations, often enticing but leading to compromise and spiritual apathy, must be declined.
Discerning the Right Invitation
Every life-altering decision stems from an invitation. Whether it’s the pressure to engage in premarital relations or succumbing to compromise, the consequences lie not in the allure of the invitation but in the character of the inviter.
Proverbs 7 vividly portrays the consequences of honoring the wrong invitation, cautioning against being led astray by enticing offers. The invitation may seem appealing, but the aftermath can be agonizing, akin to a calf led to the butcher or a bird ensnared in a net.
Choosing Wisely: Refusing Wrong Invitations
Today, a challenge is to steadfastly refuse every wrong invitation. Your choices dictate your destiny, and embracing God’s invitation leads to the fulfillment of your deepest desires.
Start your day with God’s word, steering clear of sin, and commit to living for God by rejecting compromise. Success is not a result of chance; it is an outcome of intentional actions and choices.
The Ultimate Invitation
As we conclude, consider the unparalleled invitation extended by Jesus in Matthew 11:28-30 (KJV): “Come unto me, all ye that labour and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.” This divine invitation promises rest for the weary and a yoke that is easy to bear.
In the Message translation, the depth of this invitation becomes even more apparent: “Are you tired? Worn out? Burned out on religion? Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life.” Jesus invites you to walk with Him, learn from Him, and experience the unforced rhythms of grace.
Embracing the Divine Love
In a world filled with conflicting invitations, choosing to accept the invitation from the lover of your soul—Jesus Christ—leads to the embrace of the love of your life. Refuse all other invitations that may lead you astray and embark on a journey guided by the timeless principles found in God’s word.
So we went around the rooms welcoming the new students on that wonderful evening. This would play out to be the very first time I set my eyes upon her.
Wondering who sent us that day, but went anyway.
So we got to her room and it happened that we spent the longest time with her, and interestingly, I had the shortest conversation with her because my two other friends had a common ground with her immediately while I had none!
Don Moen just released a hit song at the time and it happened that she was playing that song when we entered her room.
My two friends knew the song, while I did not have a clue, having been raised as a purebred Anglican Church guy.
So they sang along and discussed the song while I just looked on.
While there, God told me point-blank she would be my wife. While she was stunningly beautiful, I was not in love. I admired her, but there was no desire then.
I don’t believe in love at first sight, but I do believe in a “knowing at first sight’ This was exactly what happened to me.
You know, the Holy Spirit informed me of what was to happen but did not ask me to go and ask her out immediately.
And this is where we often make mistakes. We often jump out and the lady is not ready and you get a resounding No! When God speaks to you and you have a burden, find out whether it is a burden for PREPARATION or PERFORMANCE.
Do not follow your feelings, follow His voice! That is where peace is and that is where fulfilment lies!
Happy new month! This month will be glorious for us all. We started writing on this topic three days ago. Did you miss them? Not to worry! see them below.
Another dangerous combo is ‘two people who are deceptive.’ They both operate under the delusion of grandeur. They tell themselves lies and refuse to confront each other. They sweep things under the carpet and live under illusions. They deliberately flout God’s principles hoping that somehow things will work out. Everybody around them wonders why they can’t see the obvious. They are unapproachable and unreachable. But the scripture is very clear:
Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap. (Galatians 6:7 KJV)
No matter how we pretend, we cannot mock God. You can do all of that with humans, but not with God. At the end of the day, it is not worth wasting time on what would not work.
7. Two unforgiving people
Lastly, two people who refuse to forgive one another easily can block the blessings of God in their marriage, home, and life. Bitterness of heart is a blessing blocker. If one of the couples is forgiving and praying for the other, it can be easier to resolve the issues, but when both parties are hurt and bitter from time to time, they are not helping themselves, they are not helping their home and of course, the inflow of God’s blessings and favour will be truncated.
Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled; (Hebrews 12:15 KJV)
The root of bitterness in a marriage will eventually spring up and get everybody including children defiled.
The way out
So what do you do? Seek help. Don’t keep quiet and watch things degenerate. Re-connect to God and pray a lot. Seek wisdom from pastors or mentors. Seek to understand your spouse and see how he or she is thinking to have the right perspective. I pray concerning every storm in your relationship and or marriage this morning, be still in Jesus’ name! I speak the peace of God, Shalom, not missing, nothing broken over you and yours in Jesus’ name!
