Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
A virtuous woman is a crown to her husband: but she that maketh ashamed is as rottenness in his bones. Pro 12:4 (KJV)
Piety
A virtuous woman respects and serves God first by deepening her faith, attending church, and actively serving the community. She honors and obeys the will of God in all things.
Patience
A virtuous woman is patient. She knows that God’s timing is perfect and will not rush Him. When faced with difficult circumstances, she trusts that God has a plan and waits patiently to see what He will do.
Kindness
Kindness is an attribute of a virtuous woman. She cares for those who are hurting or in need without expecting anything in return. A virtuous woman is gentle and patient with others and doesn’t allow her emotions to control her actions, but instead she remains humble.
Humility
A virtuous woman is humble because she does not boast or brag about her accomplishments. She does not compare herself to others and she is generous with her praise and compliments.
A virtuous woman is careful to remember that it is not about her, but that she has been given gifts in order to make other people’s lives better.
Diligence
A virtuous woman is diligent. She is not lazy or wasteful, but she works hard and looks for ways to improve. This characteristic of a virtuous woman is one that can be seen in all over the scriptures.
Gratitude
A virtuous woman is grateful. She is thankful for the things she has and knows that all good things come from God. A virtuous woman doesn’t take anything for granted and she gives thanks to God for her everyday blessings. She is not petty and demanding.
Love
Love is one of the most important qualities of a virtuous woman. Many people think that love is a feeling, but it goes much deeper than that. Love requires patience, kindness, humility, diligence, and graciousness. A virtuous woman who loves deeply understands the meaning of sacrificial love and lives it out in her actions to those around her.
Conclusion
A virtuous woman is a woman who is virtuous in every way. She has many different traits that make her who she is.
She is kind to everyone and never gets angry, even if she is wronged. She is humble and doesn’t always need praise. She has a strong personality, but knows how to stay calm when it’s needed.
She always tries to do what is right and what she believes God wants her to do. She is diligent, diligent, diligent in all her work. She never gives up and always strives to be better.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a virtuous woman.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, make me diligent in all I do.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 31:26 (KJV) She openeth her mouth with wisdom; and in her tongue is the law of kindness.
Have you ever heard the words patience is a virtue? Well, you might think it is a cliché, but it is not. Patience is indeed a virtue; be patient. Patience is something you need in life to move forward.
But when the Holy Spirit controls our lives he will produce this kind of fruit in us: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control; and here there is no conflict with Jewish laws. – Gal 5:22-23 [TLB]
Patience is one of the fruits that we see when we are recreated in Christ.
It is patience that will not allow you to hit back your classmate when he/she hits you.
It is patience that will make you overlook talking back to your brother because he said some harsh words to you.
Children, let the Holy Spirit control your life. Let him direct you.
Let us see another translation of our anchor scripture as I conclude this morning.
God’s Spirit makes us loving, happy, peaceful, patient, kind, good, faithful, gentle, and self-controlled. There is no law against behaving in any of these ways. – Gal 5:22-23 [CEV]
It is God’s spirit that makes us patient. If we don’t have the spirit of God in us, we won’t be able to exhibit this all-important fruit.
I hope you have been learning from this topic.
We will continue tomorrow.
Prayer: Ask the Lord to help you to be patient. Amen
Action point: Are you patient with those around you? If not, start learning it now.
Declaration: I am a patient being because my God is patient.
In today’sdevotional, we’ll be looking at “Overcoming Your Marital Challenges Through Patience”. We may have so many ‘buts’, but one thing remains which stands sure and that is you are married.
Yes, married for life and married till death do you part. But marriage requires a lot of patience, hard work, and some more patience. This is what we need to overcome marital challenges that will come our way.
Like the movie, I and my husband saw some time ago. It was a pathetic story of a young lady who married her high school lover, got married against the advice of her sisters all in the name of love. She kept spending all she had for this guy who kept on promising things will be better.
She was the one funding the guy’s education and finally when she thought the guy would get a job to help her, he was busy with a project. The lady worked two jobs just to make ends meet. They spent all her mum’s money left for her till they were bankrupt.
This guy couldn’t get a job because he was an ex-convict. He devoted all his life to his project with the promise things will get better. The lady was frustrated. And one day out of her frustration decided to file for a divorce coupled with the fact that she suspected him of adultery.
After eighteen years of waiting for all his wonderful promises, she decided to call it quit. She was tired and frustrated. After some months of the lady giving upon him, his project hit it big. Her once not so good for nothing husband became a millionaire. She tried to get back but it was too late.
Her ex-husband was married to the same lady she accused him of having an affair with. She went through a season of guilt, shame, jealousy, and rage. All the things her ex-husband promised her were now to be enjoyed by another woman.
She loves her husband but… she could no longer wait. She was frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. She could no longer wait and she had wrong advice from her sisters.
Please, whatever you are going through in your marriage, know that with a lot of patience you can overcome. You will still have your dreams come through. Don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t be like this woman who eventually killed herself out of jealousy. She labored but another ate the fruit of her labour. That will not be your portion
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am patient
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be wait for your salvation in my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:12 (KJV) Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy spirit.
A point of frustration could be deliberate or not. But if one is faced with the reality of your spouse frustrating you, what do you do?
Well, in this kind of situation, you just have to exercise patience. Have a lot of understanding and don’t react. Reacting will mean retaliating or giving it back to your spouse in the same coin or measure it is given to you.
If the frustration is as a result of some form of sickness or disease, you just have to pray to God for healing and the strength to bear your spouse’s burden.
You may be frustrated because you are not a patient person or because of temperamental differences, background differences or simply male – female differences.
If you are newly wedded, your frustration could be out of misunderstanding of the things you don’t like. Especially if you had a long distance courtship or relationship. The tendency is to want to either retaliate or withdraw from the source of your frustration or pain. Please don’t do this.
In marriage, you and your spouse are a team. United you stand and divided you fall. Know that whatever comes, you are still married and you intend to still remain married.
Let your point of frustration drive you positively to seeking help, change of character and into seeking God. You can start to pray for your spouse every day consciously. Lift your spouse up in prayer and it will be to your account.
When you are also at the point of frustration, don’t keep silent on each other and don’t seek friendship outside of the marriage. Some have done this and regretted their actions. This will only draw a big gap between the two of you. The more you grow apart, the more the gap grows and the more things get difficult.
Just know that marriage requires constant working at it. It requires daily commitment, communication and patience. There are times when all is well and rosy like heaven. There are other times when you just have to keep the flame ablaze and fan the flames.
The bottom line is, don’t give up on your marriage. Don’t make a permanent decision based on a temporary situation. The frustration you are facing is only temporary. That phase will definitely fade away.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not frustrate my spouse. I am patient with him/her.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask for grace to be patient with your spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Genesis 2:24, KJV “Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Don’t give up on your marriage
