No matter how long you have been single, never walk down the aisle because you are desperate to settle down.
When you are desperate, you are apt to make a lot of mistakes! The first thing you need to understand is that being single is not a disease. Yes, there are times you might need to work on some attitudes because wrong attitudes can actually make a man to run away! For example, extreme and unnecessary anger can make a man run away! That’s the truth. So as a lady, work on your attitudes and character.
However, no matter how single or how long you have been “singled” there are some men I will have nothing to do with if I were you.
You see, it is BETTER to remain single than walk down the aisle with a wrong man! Trust me, I am a counselor, and I can’t count how many times young ladies have called me and they want out of their marriage. Some of them have only been married for weeks and they are asking me if I know any good lawyers!
If I were a lady and single, these are the men I will run away from.
1. The man I am not in love with
Ladies, don’t get involved with the man you are not in love with! It is not going to work. Even the one you are in love with, there would still be issues, but because you are in love, the issues are quickly resolved.
But when you hate his guts deep down inside you and you only got hooked because of pressures from friends and families, issues can quickly become compounded and the fact that you don’t love him will haunt you for life.
When you marry the one you are not in love with, each time you wake up in the morning, and you see his face, your mistakes will stare you in the face and I tell, you, the absence of true joy in a marriage can be debilitating.
There is no point getting hooked up with an old, pot bellied man that you detest so much but got hooked up with because of pressures.
2. The man that tells lies
One of the most unfortunate choices a lady can make is to choose a confirmed, habitual and impulsive liar. Dear daughter, don’t ever make that mistake, or else you won’t enjoy that marriage. How can you live with someone you cannot trust? That is an affliction in itself.
You know he is lying and the liar knows that you know he is lying, what kind of life is that? Even in the little times he is telling the truth, you are unable to trust him because you don’t have an idea when he is telling the truth. As a matter of fact, if you are not a good believer, you might start telling lies as well in order to get back at him.
What about the possibility of giving birth to children who are liars because of transference of spirits? You see, at the end of the day, you always discover that it is not worth it! Run away from pathological, compulsive of obsessive lairs!
To be continued.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to love correctly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Dear daughter, pray that the Lord helps you not to fall in love with the wrong person.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Don’t turn your back on wisdom, for she will protect you. Love her, and she will guard you. Prov 4:6 (NLT)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of your love life as a daughter.
I have often been asked, “How do you know a wrong person for you in a relationship?” And the answer is very simple, “Through his words!”
“But Pastor, what about if he or she doesn’t talk?”
You see, the reality is that he or she cannot hide for long.
His words are a mirror of his heart. If you can listen very well, to what is being said, and listen to what is not said, you will always be able to discern a man’s heart.
Over the years, I have had to attend to young ladies who unwittingly got messed up by married men. It would have been too late by the time they discover what is happening and by that time they are caught in an emotional web.
These married men are skillful, usually older and experienced at preying on young ladies. The sad thing is that sometimes, these ladies are believers, naive, unsuspecting and too trusting to discern between the lines.
Now, words are powerful, and you can actually know the intent of a person’s heart by his words.
The words he or she speaks are reflections of what is intrinsic in the heart. When a married man wants to sleep with you, he comes indirectly with several statements. When you hear these statements, you should run for your life. I mean, run for your life.
Everywhere the scripture proffers a solution to sexual pressures, it asks you to speak to your legs!
“Flee fornication. Every sin that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication sinneth against his own body.” (1Co 6:18, KJV)
Flee fornication! It means to run away!
You remember Joseph ran away? And he became a prime minister. Samson refused to run, and he destiny was cut short!
You also remember Samson didn’t die immediately, his eyes were first taken out! It typifies that he could no longer read the word of life. That is what the devil does to you when you start compromising, he takes your eyes out, you lose interest in reading the Bible, because he knows that is the only thing that can save you or deliver you!
Okay, let’s quickly run through seven statements that should make you run for your dear life when you hear a married man say them. Never ever take those statements as compliments. They are the expressions of a lust-filled heart designed to slow you down and make you sin against your God.
1. If I have met you before I married my wife, I would have married you
Why should a married man say this? When you hear him say this, it is not time to feel cool and start blushing. It is a statement that betrays his covenant relationship with his wife and it is inappropriate. Stay away from such a man. If you don’t, he would put more pressure and might eventually sleep with you.
Also, beware when a married woman says to you as a single guy that had she met you before meeting her husband, she would have married you.
2. I wish you can have a baby for me. You are so beautiful
You are not a baby factory or a baby producer. You are meant for your husband. Never take this as a compliment. Why would a man be wishing this when he is already married? If you feel special because of that statement, and you get pregnant, the next shocking suggestion from him would be abortion.
3. Can I take you out? I love your company
Don’t cooperate with this antic. A married man doesn’t take you out repeatedly unless there is an ulterior motive. After series of being taken out, your defence will be down.
4. My wife doesn’t give me enough attention
It is a lie from the pit of hell. First, you have already made the first mistake by allowing him to make such statements. Nobody made you an attention giver, so the man should go back to his wife at home. It is a just a ploy to play on your imagination and make you feel cool.
5. You make me feel young again
When you are not a medicine or some tranquilizer! It is a lie, he is not actually feeling young, he is feeling lust. As a child of God with a covenant perspective, you should run away from such men.
6. You are more intelligent than my wife
When a man makes this kind of statement, you should be scared of that man. He had more or less reduced his wife to a stupid entity all in the bid to fool another lady.
At the end of the day, if you cooperate with such men, who do you think is really unintelligent?
7. Where have you been all my life?
Lastly, they make statements like where have you been? Where have you been hiding all the while? Never fall for such statements. It is a deceit from the pit of hell.
The Bible advises that we should not be ignorant of the devices of the devil.
“Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.” (2Co 2:11, KJV)
Understand that the marital covenant is so strong that God is committed to fighting whoever tries to break it.
I pray for you this morning, you will not fall into the snare of married men who are deceivers. God will protect you and shield you continually.
Stay away from such men and don’t slow your self down! God will grant you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am discerning. I am kept from married men who are deceivers. My relationship is blessed.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a discerning heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief—we’re not oblivious to his sly ways!” (2Co 2:11, MSG)
Have you ever been unresponsive to your husband’s playful advances? I have been several times. That was before I learned that part of my role as a wife is to be responsive to him and to be his playmate every time and any time.
Do I respond every time? No. I still consider my husband playful and don’t join, thankfully we have three boys who can play with him.
My husband sometimes considers me as being too serious. I never grew up with a sanguine in the house so having fun was not a regular thing. We were quiet in our family and our idea of fun was little laughter here and there.
My husband is not so much of a Sanguine but his Choleric tendencies have made him an extrovert at least to me. He seems quiet when he wants to but when he is in his rhyme, he really wants to talk and play.
Sometimes he wants to play, sing *winks*, be funny, talks, disturb me and all the rest. He is just full of energy and he wants to release some.
The one thing that men don’t leave behind from being boys is playing and having fun. They love to have fun and as their wives, you have to learn to have fun with them.
You may be pushing your husband out to look for a playmate. You must learn to be jovial. Be responsive to his jokes. Laugh with him. Laugh at him. Your role as his wife is not to stop him from playing, it is to play with him.
Don’t stop him from watching his football games or any other games, join him in. Don’t be too busy for him. I know you have a lot to do especially when you don’t have help. The idea is to let your husband occupy the first place and every other thing will find its place.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am my husband’s playmate
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Help me Lord to cast my care upon you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 (KJV) For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be responsive to your husband’s play and jokes.
