Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
Here, I will make an attempt to describe what marriage should be. This will help our focus to stand on the core of marriage.
A lot of people are into what is far from marriage in God’s perspective and they expect God to bless their union.
If we do things God’s way, He is under obligation to honor us.
1. A covenant marriage is a union between two blessed people.
You are blessed when you both follow and obey God’s injunction as stated in His word. The first step to being blessed is being born again, then attending God’s house regularly as a couple, praying together, studying, meditating, and confessing God’s word. Being blessed has nothing to do with riches but it sure will magnetism riches towards you.
2. Marriage is a union between two responsible people
Both husband and wife must be responsible for their marriage. It is teamwork that requires the input of the two of you. Know the state of each other. Look out for yourselves and never deny each other.
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3. Marriage is between two focused people
If it must be successful, then both husband and wife have to remain focused on their vows. Don’t be distracted by your work, career, children, social life, friends, families, etc. Going in opposite directions will cause disasters and accidents. Desire it to work out and both of you should work it out.
4. Marriage is a union of two servants of God
When both husband and wife serve God, it is easy for them to serve each other. It takes humility to serve God and thus it becomes easier to submit to one another in love. Serving God is the curriculum and the ingredients to having a blissful marriage. Some want to have it wonderful, yet, don’t want to get the ingredients.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I understand the concept of marriage
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to remain loyal to my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Co 13:7 [CEV] Love is always supportive, loyal, hopeful, and trusting.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY I will no more work against the unity between myself and my spouse
One attribute we should pray for as children is the spirit of meekness. There is how to exhibit meekness as children created by God.
Meekness is strength under control. Meekness is an attribute of human nature and behavior.
With all lowliness and meekness, with longsuffering, forbearing one another in love;
Ephesians 4:2 (KJV)
It has been defined several ways: righteous, humble, teachable, and patient under suffering, long suffering willing to follow gospel teachings; an attribute of a true disciple. There is how to exhibit meekness as children created by God.
with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love,
Ephesians 4:2 (ESV)
Our children should learn to be meek in their attitude towards people, also in their conduct.
The spirit of meekness can only be achieved through the help of the Holy Spirit.
It is the spirit of God that dwells in our children that help them to be teachable, and to also become true followers of Christ.
It takes the grace of God for you accept discipline with humility. The most natural way you would likely react would be to reject it instantly. Maybe, you spent longer than you should at a friend’s place and your mother grounds you.
“But, it was just 30 minutes” you say to her. Instantly your brows build up a storm on your face, your mouth shoots out, you fold your arms and turn an almost 180 degree away from your mother. This is not how to accept discipline with humility.
“Not just 30 minutes only, you also didn’t wash the dirty plates in the sink before you left,” your mum replies.
Just 30 minutes, but you stayed longer than you should and didn’t wash the plates also.
The first thing you should have said was “I am sorry, mummy.” That’s how to accept discipline with humility. That alone would first make your mother calm down.
“I will wash the plates immediately.” Another sentence that will douse the situation again. Then you can start to give your reasons for staying long, that is if they are tenable. If they are not don’t say anything. Accept discipline with humility.
Saying sorry is a sign of true humility. It shows you are sorry for your actions and are open to making amends for what you have done.
Here is what the bible says about people who are humble
“The Lord hates those who are proud. You can be sure that they will be punished. Psalms 149: 4 ICB.
“God is against the proud but he gives grace to the humble” James 4:6 ICB.
God doesn’t like pride because it is a sin. Pride in your salvation through Christ and as a God’s creation is good. Learn humility; accept discipline with humility.
Being proud is saying that you are above mistakes and therefore can’t and shouldn’t be corrected. As a child, you need to be always corrected.
May God give you a heart that is open to correction. Amen.
Prayer: Lord, give me the spirit of humility through Your Holy Spirit. Teach me to accept discipline with humility. In Your mighty name I pray, amen.
Action point: Remember to always apologise first before giving excuses.
