It is good when we view our marriage and relationship like a garden. When you hear “garden,” what comes to your mind? A beautiful picture of a well-tended piece of land, beautiful and colorful flowers, with fragrance and no weeds. Apart from the fact that when you see a garden, you know that someone or some people have been responsible, consistently working. There are three elements I want us to look at in considering the marriage and relationship as a garden.
Pulling out weeds
Planting Seeds
Killing the snakes
Let me explain in detail what I mean.
1. Pulling weeds
Every garden has a tendency for weeds to grow in them if left untended. Weeds are bad habits, human bad habits such as poor communication, lack of commitment, threatening with divorce or breaking up, lack of respect, use of negative words like ‘never’, ‘always’, not actively listening to our spouse or partner, lack of understanding each other and the list goes on.
Whatever will cause our relationship and marriage not to blossom and thrive are weeds. They need to be pulled out. This takes consistent, conscious, and deliberate efforts on our part to pull the weeds out. As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side but someone is tilling the ground and wetting the grass.
2. Plant the Seeds
Seeds are what I call the good habits. Those things we want to see in our relationship and marriage. It is not just good enough to pull out the weeds; we should be proactive and intentional about planting good seeds. Seeds of what we do to our partner in a relationship and spouse in marriage.
We should not just do bad stuff to our partner and spouse but we should do good stuff to our partner. Being kind, being tender and gentle, showing each other respect, being thoughtful, loving our partner, forgiveness, not counting scores, treating each other with thoughtfulness, taking time to understand your spouse or partner. We can always add to this list.
3. Kill the snakes
Sometimes we do all the right things in a relationship and in marriage but things still go wrong. The relationship still breaks and the marriage still ends up in divorce. The snakes are ‘spiritual problems or issues’. There are not just weeds and seeds but there are also snakes. These are the dangerous intruders from the enemy of our relationship and marriage. They seek to steal, kill, and destroy.
We don’t pull out the snakes; we kill them. Some of us are not aware of the existence of snakes in our relationship and marriage. We need to be aware of them and arm ourselves with the right weapons of God’s word, prayer, and an understanding of our authority in Christ Jesus and the finished work of the cross.
The word ‘blossom’ creates a picture of a fruit tree having flowers. It depicts a season when the plant has grown, increased, and now bears flowers, showing it will soon bear fruit.
A lady is always associated with ‘blossom’, ‘flower’, ‘fruitful’, which depicts their ability to procreate and of course, the beauty they possess.
‘Thy wife shall be as a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house and your children like olive plants round about your table’. –Psalms 128:3
The scripture today is about a wife becoming a fruitful vine. The vine is an interesting plant. It is a twining; coiling tender plant that produces grapes used for wine.
It is interesting to know that a tender plant that needs support eventually produces the all-important grapes used for wine. You do not want to joke with wine. It is served at parties, offered to dignitaries, it is medicinal, it shows prosperity, it makes merry and it is always found during joyous occasions.
As a man, the lady you are married to has great potentials but you as the vinedresser or gardener have the responsibility of bringing out the best in her.
Now read this carefully. You will never find a perfect woman or wife. God will always give you a raw material, and you as her head and crown can develop her into what God wants for her by the instrumentality of God’s word, your love for her, a lot of patience, and a lot of prayers.
Am I shifting the ladies’ responsibility of productivity to the guys?
No. I am only saying that there is an environment you can create for your wife that will cause her to blossom, be more fruitful and maximize her potential.
Remember whatever she becomes, she will still be ‘by the sides of thine house’. That side does not mean ‘hidden’ or in a corner, it means right at the door. She occupies a conspicuous part of your life.
Married men, know that your wives are your precious asset. Accept her, love her and be determined to help her blossom.
Yes, she might be like a wild, unfruitful olive vine, but ask God to help you. God anointed you as a husband to make your wife blossom. You can do it by God’s grace if you trust and seek his help.
Dear wives, please submit to the leadership role of your husband. God anointed him for you so you can blossom. Until you are submitted to him, you will not be all you can be, your full capacity. Your submission to him is a lot of wisdom because that is when you can truly blossom.
I know some of you might be hurt and bitter over issues in the past, and you are rightly justified to feel so, but remaining in that state will worsen things and slow you down.
Don’t close up your spirits on your husband, forgive again and again and ask the Holy Spirit to help you. Don’t give up; rather, keep on trusting God for the best.
Don’t try to retaliate by opening yourself up to affairs. That will usher in more demons to afflict your home.
Always remember this, the wisdom you need to resolve the present issue lies with God.
I pray for your home this day that God will surround you with His love, you will blossom in Jesus name. You will burst forth with the full manifestation of your gifting in Jesus name.
Men, receive grace and wisdom to be the best that God has called you to be over your wife and your home!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am like a fruitful vine beside my husband’s house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father, I receive help to be all you desire me to be.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Thy wife shall be like a fruitful vine by the sides of thine house’ Psalms 128:3
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Be deliberate about your marriage.
One thing we can equate the growth of our children to is that of a garden. My Children are as a well nurtured garden.
The bible tells us that;
May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace;
Psalms 144:12 (ESV)
A well-nurtured garden is always pleasant to look at or to relax in, but no one will desire to stay in an untidy garden. A garden is not left all by itself to be well nurtured, it takes a conscious effort.
Likewise, for our children, we must work towards nurturing them by teaching them the word of God, praying for them, and believing in God to become what he has created them to be.
We should always pray that our children will be strong and straight and pointed toward heaven. Not dwarfed by bad habits or foolish choices, not choked out by the weeds of the world, but they will be of visible character who stands alone, strong enough to withstand the storms of life.
Also pray that God grants them visible strength, godly character, and the beauty of full development.
Prayer: Oh Lord, cause my children to be as healthy as a well-nurtured garden; Amen
Action plan: Read and study more of God’s word
Declaration: My children are blessed to flourish at an early age so that they bring forth the good fruit of godly character.
My children will flourish. A well nurtured garden is always pleasant to look at or to relax in, but no one will desire to stay in an untidy garden.
A garden is not left all by itself to be well nurtured, it takes a conscious effort.
May our sons in their youth be like plants full grown, our daughters like corner pillars cut for the structure of a palace;
Psalms 144:12 (ESV)
Likewise for our children, we must work towards nurturing them by teaching them the word of God, praying for them and believe in God to become what he has created them to be.
We should always pray that our children will be strong and straight and pointed toward heaven.
Not dwarfed by bad habits or foolish choices, not choked out by the weeds of the world, but they will be of visible character who stand alone, strong enough to withstand the storms of life.
Also, that God will grant them visible strength, godly character, and the beauty of full development.
Prayer: My children will flourish in Jesus name. Amen
Action point: Pray for your children
Declaration: My children are blessed to flourish at an early age so that they bring forth the good fruit of godly character.
Yesterday, westarted on the topic “How to tend your marriage” and we talked about one major way to make your marriage enjoyable. That is, to know the difference between a garden and a farm.
Our marriage should be viewed as a garden, not a farmland.
Below are few ways we can tend our marriage.
1. First discover the type of person your spouse is. Is your marriage a garden or a farm land?
2. This discovery has to be done by both of you discussing it.
3. Know what your partner requires you to make your marriage work.
4. Set out to learn about these requirements.
5. Never assume you know all it takes to make your marriage work.
6. Be focused on making it work.
7. Be ready and humble enough to learn.
8. Always take your spouse along and check with each other if you are making progress. For example, the proof you are on the right track is when you see the flowers in your garden blossom.
9. Don’t stop doing those things that produced the results.
10. Master the technique and do it over and over again, till it becomes part of you.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will blossom
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the wisdom I need to tend my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Son 4:16 Awake, O north wind; and come, thou south; blow upon my garden, that the spices thereof may flow out. Let my beloved come into his garden, and eat his pleasant fruits.
