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Pruning Our Love Garden 

It is good when we view our marriage and relationship like a garden. When you hear “garden,” what comes to your mind? A beautiful picture of a well-tended piece of land, beautiful and colorful flowers, with fragrance and no weeds. Apart from the fact that when you see a garden, you know that someone or some people have been responsible, consistently working. There are three elements I want us to look at in considering the marriage and relationship as a garden.

  1. Pulling out weeds
  2. Planting Seeds
  3. Killing the snakes

Let me explain in detail what I mean.

1. Pulling weeds

Every garden has a tendency for weeds to grow in them if left untended. Weeds are bad habits, human bad habits such as poor communication, lack of commitment, threatening with divorce or breaking up, lack of respect, use of negative words like ‘never’, ‘always’, not actively listening to our spouse or partner, lack of understanding each other and the list goes on.

Whatever will cause our relationship and marriage not to blossom and thrive are weeds. They need to be pulled out. This takes consistent, conscious, and deliberate efforts on our part to pull the weeds out. As the saying goes, the grass is always greener on the other side but someone is tilling the ground and wetting the grass.

2. Plant the Seeds

Seeds are what I call the good habits. Those things we want to see in our relationship and marriage. It is not just good enough to pull out the weeds; we should be proactive and intentional about planting good seeds. Seeds of what we do to our partner in a relationship and spouse in marriage.

We should not just do bad stuff to our partner and spouse but we should do good stuff to our partner. Being kind, being tender and gentle, showing each other respect, being thoughtful, loving our partner, forgiveness, not counting scores, treating each other with thoughtfulness, taking time to understand your spouse or partner. We can always add to this list.

3. Kill the snakes

Sometimes we do all the right things in a relationship and in marriage but things still go wrong. The relationship still breaks and the marriage still ends up in divorce. The snakes are ‘spiritual problems or issues’. There are not just weeds and seeds but there are also snakes. These are the dangerous intruders from the enemy of our relationship and marriage. They seek to steal, kill, and destroy.

We don’t pull out the snakes; we kill them. Some of us are not aware of the existence of snakes in our relationship and marriage. We need to be aware of them and arm ourselves with the right weapons of God’s word, prayer, and an understanding of our authority in Christ Jesus and the finished work of the cross.


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