Alexander the coppersmith did me much evil: the Lord reward him according to his works: (2 Timothy 4:14 KJV)
Here we see Paul extremely hurt by whatever Alexander the coppersmith has done. Judging from Paul’s tone, whatever harm Alexander has done is probably either towards him or towards the church of God.
Paul later said,
Of whom be thou ware also; for he hath greatly withstood our words. (2 Timothy 4:15 KJV)
In Weymouth New Testament translation, it says,
Alexander the metal-worker showed bitter hostility towards me: the Lord will requite him according to his doings.
Now, in life, we will meet with a lot of people that will do us much evil. There will be several metal workers who want to use their metals on you! We will meet with a lot of people that will try to harm us.
We might have experienced deep hurts and wounds from those that jilted us. We might have gone through bitter experiences from people who used us and then dumped us. We might have encountered people that insulted our intelligence and tried to play smart on us. We might have been met people that promised heaven and earth and later abandoned us. We might have experienced the greatest levels of betrayals, wherein, the closest friend of ours betrayed us.
Those kinds of experiences are deep seated, the hurts are strongly rooted, the bitterness breathes within, live magma, waiting for an opportunity of a volcanic eruption, to cause untold damage and harm.
In all of these, we must learn from Apostle Paul. We must learn to sheath the sword like Apostle Paul did.
Yes, he was hurt, and he actually verbalized it when he said, “Alexander the coppersmith did me MUCH evil…”
No doubt he was hurt and must have gone through a very painful, heart wrenching experience…but in all of these, he simply said,
“…the Lord reward him according to his work!”
In as much as this is not what the flesh wants to do, I believe this is the best attitude to take when you have been deeply hurt!
Commit the situation into God’s hands. Let God judge the matter! Let God fight for you. When God fights for you, you have the privilege of dealing with your enemy without lifting a finger and without bitterness, and God also compensates you! That is the beauty of it!
Did you see the classic film, “Woman thou art loosed” by Bishop T.D.Jakes?
That lady that was raped and had her innocence taken away at a tender age still ended in jail because she took laws into her hands by shooting the man that hurt her! The prison experience would probably get her bitter than ever!
But you can choose to let God handle it. When you allow God to judge the matter, you let go of the hurt in your heart and await a compensation that only God can bring.
I want you to hand it all over to God. The guy, the lady, the man, the woman, who did you much evil, hand it over to God. Don’t go on with any hurt! Let God reward them according to the works of their hands. That is when it is sweetest!
As you do that that, you will receive healing for every hurt and wound, and God will compensate you heavily! Were you abandoned? Thank God you knew him or her before marriage! If he didn’t go, how will the right person show up!
I pray for you this morning, God will compensate you heavily for every harm, hurt or evil in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to be bitter
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to let go of all hurt
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless them that curse you, and pray for them which despitefully use you. (Luke 6:28 KJV)
‘I choose to forgive you for the bad words you have said to me.’ These were the words Tatiana said to Mercy before she turned away and started walking home.
Earlier that day, Mercy and her gang of bullies had done all they could to get Tatiana to lose her cool and start a fight. From spreading gossip about John and her kissing under the stairs during recess, to purposely pouring water on her. Can she forgive?
Tatiana didn’t lose her temper because she knew what they were trying to do. And she had made a vow to God that she wouldn’t answer back at Mercy. Her vow to Him was more important than anything the bully gang did or said. What mattered most was her vow to and relationship with God. And that was one of the reasons she found strength to forgive.
So instead of speaking or fighting back, choose to render forgiveness. You could say “I forgive you”, to the person’s face or in your heart. Not because you are afraid of them, but because that is what God wants you to do.
Remember the part in our Lord’s Prayer that talks about forgiving those who trespass against us? (“and forgive us our sins, as we have forgiven those who sin against us.” – Matthew 6:12). That is exactly what how God wants you to live. That is exactly what God desires you do when your friends annoy you – ignore them and forgive.
I pray that God will give you the power to choose to forgive. In Jesus’ name, Amen.
Prayer: Father, help me to choose forgiveness over retaliation. And as I render forgive, may I receive forgiveness too, in Jesus’ name. Amen.
Action Plan: Practice forgiveness all the time. Practice to just let go.
We are continuing on our series, how married couples should handle stress in their marriage. We are looking at different stressors, especially those that are self-induced, and how to handle them.
We have looked at the following:
1. Financial pressure
2. Dealing with in-laws
3. Comparison traps
4. Doing beyond ourselves
5. Not minding our own business
6. Not being able to say No.
And today,
7. Being unforgiving to our spouse.
One of the most important ingredients in having a happy marriage is when couples forgive each other quickly.
The bible is so clear on the issue of forgiveness and also tells us he dangers of unforgiveness.
Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:32 NLT
Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Colossians 3:13 NLT
When you release an offence you open the prison doors. Unforgiveness puts us in a prison that puts stress in our marriages
To err is human and to forgive is divine. When we forgive our spouse, we invite divinity and all that heaven has to offer. We invite peace, joy, and prosperity.
When we allow unforgiveness, no matter how grievous the offense, we give place to the devil and all that is associated to him.
If anyone is walking in unforgiveness, I urge us to please forgive. Let go and let God. God is not just asking us to close our eyes to the offense, he is asking us to give Him the pain and hurt of the offenses
He says vengeance belongs to Him.
Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord. Romans 12:19 KJV
God wants to work our vengeance for us in a most beautiful way. He want to compensate us. Most of the time when we avenge ourselves, we don’t compensate the hurt. That’s what God wants to do.
The issue of forgiveness is so big that we can either ruin our lives and lives of our children by not forgiving our spouse.
Families that were once cordial have been separated by the spirit of unforgiveness. Couples who were once loving have been set apart through unforgiveness. Children have become victims of their parent’s unforgiveness.
I understand that it is very tough when your spouse does such grievous and demeaning things. Yet we must let God be true and every man a liar.
Forgive and see the unbelievable release of God’s power towards your marriage. It is almost like magic. It is a miracle.
God comes to defend you in ways you could never have imagined. Favor works for you, you enjoy peace, health, prosperity and the likes.
I will stop here today and continue on this topic of handling stress in marriage tomorrow by God’s grace.
May God grant us the spirit of forgiveness to all that has offended us in Jesus name.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate to people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.
One of the purposes of making love with your spouse is to establish bonding at the highest level. However, when this is done with someone you are not married to, a bonding also takes place, but it is an unhealthy bonding because it is spiritually illegal, a direct violation of God’s injunction, a sin unto God, and unto one’s body. Rather than soul harmony that happens with married couples, what happens is a soul tie that tends to suck one more into the compromise.
What if I make just one mistake; is a soul tie formed? The answer is yes because the devil doesn’t need many mistakes, he only needed one to get you into trouble. You give the devil an inch, he takes a mile!
That is why the Bible says:
Eph 4:27 AMP Leave no [such] room or foothold for the devil [give no opportunity to him].
Just one mistake of David with Bathsheba, an intrigue and tragedy of murder, lies, deception and death of a baby were what ensued.
So what do I need to do to break a soul tie?
1. The first thing you have to do is to genuinely repent of the mistake and decide to stop the act.
When you say you have repented of a particular sin, and the next day, you visit the same person and announce that you only came to say hello, knowing fully well that one thing will still lead to another, then you have not really repented. When you say you have repented and then he comes visiting the following week, and then you start cooking Rice and Beans for him when it is already late in the night, then you are just playing games with your destiny, because you sure know what will happen afterward.
And you know, God cannot be mocked. You can fool your pastor or parents, but don’t even think you can fool God. Don’t even nurse that idea because it is not possible. You need to understand that God does not only listen to the words of your mouth as you cry and say that you will never do it again, He looks into your heart and knows whether you are just acting or you are truly and genuinely repentant. This then determines the release of His mercy that can suspend judgment and overrule damning consequences. His mercy endureth forever.
What does it mean to repent?
It means a change of mind and a turn around. You don’t go back there again!
You want to break soul ties? The first thing is to repent genuinely.
2. The second thing to do is to forgive yourself and forgive the person that has wronged you.
When you are genuinely repentant, God forgives and forgets!
Heb 8:12 KJV For I will be merciful to their unrighteousness, and their sins and their iniquities will I remember no more.
Take a look at the Message translation:
Heb 8:12 MSG They’ll get to know me by being kindly forgiven, with the slate of their sins forever wiped clean.
That is God for you! He is a merciful God. He is your father. He will forgive….well that is understandable…but forget? How is that possible?
I am not talking about amnesia here, that is a disease of forgetfulness. I am talking about when you genuinely repent, the blood of Jesus cleanses you and gives you right standing with God as if you have never committed that sin! It is not as if the sin is still lurking somewhere in some hibernated corners of God’s brain (if there is anything like that) where it can be retrieved later, like restoring a file from recycle bin, it is that the sin is permanently and divinely shredded and does not exist again. There would be no records again and you become like you were before God before you ever committed that sin!
You are the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus! Your slate is wiped clean, your life becomes anew, and you become new specie!
Well, of course you know that genuine repentance is not when you are habitually hooked to a particular sin…and you keep asking for forgiveness everyday. That is not true repentance, you are just trying to pacify your conscience and it is a dangerous state to be in.
So upon genuine repentance, God forgives and forgets! But do you know where the problem is? You have to forgive as well. Forgive the person that wronged you if that is the case, and then forgive yourself! That is very important. This stage is necessary in order to break soul ties and move on with your life! After asking God for forgiveness, stop going back to ask again because there is no record again. You have been cleansed, so rise up as the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus that you are!
I pray for you this morning that you will indeed come to the knowledge of that which Christ has done for you in Jesus name. Every where there has been illegal soul ties, God will deliver you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am the righteousness of God in Christ Jesus
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that wherever there have been wrong soul ties, God will deliver you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For he hath made him to be sin for us, who knew no sin; that we might be made the righteousness of God in him. (2 Corinthians 5:21 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘Righteousness’ in the New Testament
I remember many years ago, as a young Christian, I was praying and trusting God for some things. God answered me very clearly and told me to forgive so and so. Now, these people really hurt me, and I felt justified walking in an unforgiving spirit. But then God gave me two scriptures and said if I want to move forward in life, I have to forgive.
Beloved, never avenge yourselves, but leave it to the wrath of God, for it is written, “Vengeance is mine, I will repay, says the Lord.” (Romans 12:19 ESV)
The second scripture God gave me was:
To whom ye forgive any thing, I forgive also: for if I forgave any thing, to whom I forgave it, for your sakes forgave I it in the person of Christ; Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices (2 Corinthians 2:10-11 KJV)
I had to listen to God and it was only then I was able to move forward.
2. From the above scriptures, a few things are clear.
3. People will hurt you, as long as you are human and you are in the days of your flesh.
4. You will like to get even, born again or not.
5. Don’t get even; don’t avenge yourself.
6. God will avenge you, He will fight for you and that is when it is sweetest.
7. If you stay in unforgiving mode, Satan will use it as loophole to cause havoc.
You are not to be ignorant of how the devil operates.
A third scripture I will like you to see is here:
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses (Matthew 6:14-15 KJV)
Now, you don’t want to find yourself here. You don’t want to find yourself in a place where God will not forgive you. And yet, the only way not to get there is to forgive people easily! Now as you read this, I really want you to check yourself out. Are you holding a few people in your heart without forgiving them? Well, it could slow you down, literarily!
It could cause delays in marriages, it could cause relationships not to work out, and other havocs can be wrecked. That’s why I tell people; don’t start another relationship immediately after one has just ended. Give yourself a break, at least, six months. Why? When you rush into another relationship with hurts, wounds, bitterness, and an unforgiving spirit, you will end up frustrating that other person, and the relationship will still not work out. You cannot establish a relationship on a foundation of hurts, wounds, and bitterness!
When you stay in unforgiving mode, it’s like moving away from God’s protective arm into the terrain of the devil. A lot of us fast and pray fervently, but hear me and hear me well, if you don’t forgive, you will never be able to enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings. I come to you this morning, by the Spirit of God and by His grace which He has endowed me with and I speak into your life and destiny, ‘Forgive!’
Yes, I know you are hurt! Yes, I know you were jilted. Yes, I know you were raped. Yes, I know you were defrauded. Yes, I know you were abandoned when it is just a few days before the wedding. Yes, I know there has been a divorce. Yes, I know you were cheated. Yes, I know you were wrongfully accused. Yes, I know your spouse cheated on you and manipulated you…and the list goes on.
But you cannot afford some bitterness. It is too expensive for you! You need God now, don’t you? You yourself are not perfect, are you? The only way God can overlook, forgive and forget your own imperfections and cause His mercy to avail for you is when you forgive that person.
There are some of us that hold our parents in derision. You are wrong to do that. But my parents are not born-again! You see the scripture never says you should honour your born-again parents! He said you should honour your parents! That is how to last on the planet earth! So that your days will be long! In fact, a particular translation says, honour your parents so that God can say well done to you!
Some of you are having delays in marriage because you are walking in disobedience. If your parents have ever said wrong words to you because you were at loggerheads with them, go back to them and apologize. Humble yourself, so that you won’t slow yourself down. Dishonoring your parents and refusing to forgive them can cost you your life! Read your Bible very well.
Go back to them, buy a gift, prostrate or kneel down and ask them to bless you! That act alone will be better off than ninety days of fasting and prayers, which might not yield results because of an unforgiving spirit.
Forgive your spouse. You will do yourself a lot of good if you do that. If you don’t forgive him or her, your prayers will be hindered. Don’t block God’s blessings over you at this time. Why waste your time praying? Isn’t that a religious spirit at work? Married couples, be quick to forgive each other! Don’t allow strife in your family. If you have been in prolonged hurt and strife, it is dangerous. End it today and allow God’s blessing to flow in your family. Leave your ego behind and obey God. Take your wife out, buy her a gift and apologize! Go to your husband and kneel down and ask for forgiveness. It is not old-fashioned; it is scripture!
Let go and let God! Let it be a beginning of a new day for you and yours! Let go of everybody you are holding in your mind. Burn your little black book of offenses and stop recording hurts. Delete them not only from your memory but from recycle bin as well. Guard your heart with all diligence for out of them are the issues of life.
May God help you and give you strength to forgive all you need to forgive in Jesus name!
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CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have a forgiving attitude. I am quick to forgive.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the grace to let go of all who have hurt me
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: (Matthew 6:14 KJV)
