Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer
Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.
1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.
2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.
3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.
4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.
5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.
6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.
Common Mistakes in Marriage.
7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.
8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.
9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.
10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.
11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.
Handling Differences of Opinion.
12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.
13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.
14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.
15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.
Dealing with Financial Disagreements.
16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.
17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.
18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.
Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.
19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.
20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.
Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.
21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.
22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.
23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.
24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.
25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.
26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.
27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.
28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.
We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.
Hey there, ladies! Have you ever wondered what makes a man tick? What do they really want in a partner? Today, we’re going to dive into the top 10 qualities that men desire in a woman. And trust me, it’s not just about looks or physical attraction. There’s so much more to it!
1. Confidence.
Let’s face it, guys love a woman who exudes confidence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about embracing your imperfections and owning them with poise. Confidence can be sexy!
How can a woman develop confidence? Firstly, a woman can build confidence by:
a. Focusing on what she’s good at and what she’s achieved.
b. Being kind to herself and taking care of her physical and emotional needs.
c. Surrounding herself with God, His Word, and with people who support and encourage her.
The Scripture declares in 1 Peter 3:3-4 that “What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes, but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.”
2. Intelligence.
Men are drawn to women who can hold their own in a conversation. This is one of the Qualities That Men Desire. They love a good debate, a witty remark, or a clever joke. So, don’t be afraid to show off your brainpower, ladies! A man wants a lady who he can talk to and engage in friendly banter and conversations.
Why do men leave a big and clearer television at home to go and watch a global match in a club in a less comfortable environment? It is because of those friendly conversations and banters! Ladies, develop yourself! Know one or two things about the club he loves. Learn to sustain conversations!
Men are attracted to women who are curious and interested in learning and who can hold intelligent conversations and share their own insights.
Proverbs 18:15 says “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”
To develop your intelligence as a lady, here are a few things you can do:
a. Read widely and often, exploring different topics and interests.
b. Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and industries.
c. Take classes or workshops to learn new skills and expand your knowledge.
d. Ask questions and seek to understand different perspectives.
3. Empathy.
Empathy is one of the Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman. Guys appreciate a woman who can understand their struggles, validate their emotions, and offer support. Be that safe haven for your partner, and watch your relationship flourish!
Men crave emotional connection and intimacy, just like women do. Men often feel like they’re not being heard or understood, especially when it comes to their emotions.
When a woman can understand and validate a man’s emotions, it breaks traditional gender roles and stereotypes, allowing for a more equal and balanced relationship. These are some reasons why men crave such a woman who can provide these.
This is why it is good to pray to God before making marital decisions. There are some ladies who lack these qualities and yet they are on their way to developing them. In other words, they didn’t have it yet, but they inherently have all it takes to be that kind of woman.
You see people change with time. A man has to be discerning. Conversely, there can be a woman who seems to possess these qualities, and yet it would be fleeting and temporary. When pressures come, she melts like a pot of stew!
Pray and pray very well to be led by God in making your decisions! Only God knows who will love you now and would still love you in another thirty or forty years!
Cultivating Emotional Intelligence Through Self-Awareness
Introduction:
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it can also be challenging. One key to a successful and happy marriage is emotional intelligence. Emotional intelligence refers to the ability to recognise and understand emotions in yourself and others and to use this awareness to guide thought and behaviour. In this blog post, we’ll explore the importance of self-awareness in emotional intelligence and how it can benefit your marriage.
The Scripture says in Proverbs 13:15, that Good understanding giveth favour: but the way of transgressors is hard. Understanding or wells awareness is crucial in marriage and relationships.
What is Self-Awareness?
Self-awareness is the ability to recognise and understand one’s emotions and how they impact one’s thoughts and behaviour. It’s the ability to step back and observe oneself, one’s thoughts, and feelings without judgment. Self-awareness is the foundation of emotional intelligence, and it’s essential for building a solid and healthy marriage.
How Does This Help Emotional Intelligence in Marriage?
Self-awareness is vital in marriage because it helps you understand your own emotions and needs, as well as those of your partner. When you’re self-aware, you can better communicate your feelings and needs clearly and respectfully. You’re also more likely to be empathetic and understanding toward your partner, which can help build trust and strengthen your relationship.
The scripture says in First Peter 3:7 (KJV) Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge…
What are the Benefits of Self-Awareness in Marriage?
1. Improved Communication: Self-awareness helps you communicate more effectively with your partner. When you understand your own emotions and needs, you’re better able to express them in a way that your partner can understand.
2. Increased Empathy: Self-awareness helps you understand and empathise with your partner’s feelings and needs. You’re more likely to be supportive and understanding when seeing things from your partner’s perspective.
3. Better Conflict Resolution: Self-awareness helps you manage conflicts more effectively. When you understand your emotions and needs, you’re less likely to react impulsively or aggressively.
4. Greater Intimacy: Understanding yourself leads to a tighter bond with your partner. When you’re in touch with your feelings and wants, you’ll be more real, vulnerable and open with your partner.
How to Develop Self-Awareness in Marriage.
5. Keep a Journal: Writing down your thoughts can help you spot patterns and understand your emotions.
6. Ask for Feedback: Don’t be afraid to ask your partner and pals what they think about your actions and talk. It’s a way to level up your self-awareness game.
7. Take a Class or Workshop: Consider taking a class or workshop. Check out a class on understanding emotions or self-awareness. It’s like adding more tools to your relationship toolbox.
Conclusion:
Self-awareness is a crucial component of emotional intelligence, and it’s essential for building a solid and healthy marriage. By developing self-awareness, you can improve communication, increase empathy, manage conflicts more effectively, and build a deeper and more intimate connection with your partner. Remember, self-awareness is a journey, and it takes time and effort to develop. But with practice and patience, you can become more self-aware and build a happier and more fulfilling marriage.
Yesterday, we looked at two of these tips, which are 1.Giving 2.Respect.
We will continue on this topic this morning.
3. ACCEPT
There is a great need for accepting your spouse. There is a difference between not accepting your spouse and loving them as they are.
Every character issue or difference our spouse’s show now have always been with them when we were courting. The difference between now and then is that we accepted those character flaws because we were in love.
Love truly is blind but in marriage, our eyes are opened, hallelujah.
Accept your spouse for who they are. We are not giving to change our spouses. Only God’s word and His Spirit can change them. So pray.
You mean I don’t have to talk? Well, yes. At least you minimize your talking and ranting.
But if I don’t talk, how will he/she change? You can talk but not angrily. Because you trust God is the enforcer and the one to change your spouse.
So you give your spouse the gift of ‘accepting’ them. That love you demonstrate can even make them want to change.
4. COMPROMISE
In marriage, we must learn to compromise. We live a successful married life when we learn to live a little to the left, a little to the right.
In marriage, you stop living for yourself and start to live for your spouse. Don’t you ever insist on your own if you want your marriage to be graceful.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
My husband, when we were courting, loved beans. He could eat beans three times a day and still eat it the next day. But I was a rice person. On campus then, we always ate together. So he will be like beans and I will be like rice. But we both compromised. Today, we don’t have any issues of whether to eat rice or beans.
Beans provide a high source of protein, so I even opt for beans atimes. My Husband also prefers rice now and hardly does he eat beans. He complains it makes him bloat.
That is a simple one, but we solved that issue by learning to compromise. We were both willing to compromise.
5. EMPATHY
In marriage, we are to show empathy towards our spouse. Where there is no empathy, love is absent. You love your spouse when you are able to empathize with whatever they are feeling.
Empathy simply put is to put yourself in your spouse’s position and feel what they feel. When you are in your spouse’s shoe, you become like they are and feel for them.
Don’t just stay in your position as a male and make decisions. Sometimes, feel what it means to a female and just understand, and vice versa.
Wives, try to be husband for a while with the burden of leading the home and see that it is not easy. So learn to empathize with one another.
There is still more to talk about in this topic. Join me on the concluding part tomorrow by God’s Grace.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be glorious.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to respect my spouse at all times.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY John 3:16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have everlasting life.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Reach a compromise with your spouse on certain issues.
