We all have emotions and there’s nothing wrong with having them. What could be wrong is not handling them well.
Whatever God has given us, whether money, relationships, jobs, career, gifts, talents etc, we need to take responsibility over them. Maturity is learning to handle them well, so that they are used to our advantage and not to our disadvantage.
For Example, God gave us all mouths, but do you know that some people have destroyed their marriages by the wrong use of their mouth?
Anger could be used in a positive way if we understand its great potentials. Anger is what makes us desire for things and ourselves to get better. When we get angry over the status quo we find change.
When we get angry at how we are treated by life, we seek something better, a better life for us and our families.
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In 1 Chron 4:9-10 it was because Jabez was angry at why a name meaning sorrow was imposed upon him that he could pray and have a change of name and destiny.
If we didn’t have the ability to get angry, we will remain as we are. Anger shows there is a problem to be dealt with. Even God get angry.
The evil of unmanaged anger like any other unmanaged emotions far outweighs the benefits.
In marriage, we must keep our emotions managed. Some couple react to situations in an explosive way while others react angrily in a quiet way. Whether it is an explosive anger or a silent anger both are destructive.
The silent anger is dangerous because it works like hot magma. It silently gathers strength and then in a moment without warning it explodes causing a lot of havoc.
Tomorrow, I will show you practical ways to handle anger in marriage.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be an angry spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord help me recognize the source of my anger and deal with it.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I have to deal with any source of angry but it destroys me
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC couple’s camp meeting
Having to start your day with asking God for forgiveness daily can be very frustrating, especially when you know you are going to commit the sin again. Self condemnation comes once we violate God’s principles.
This self-condemnation will surface at much unexpected times. Most times, young folks get involved in jeru trip before marriage in order to express their freedom or liberty. In the end, the purpose is defeated, because the very freedom they seek to express will be lost to emotional captivity and slavery. Freedom from a guilty conscience will be gone.
Years ago, a lady sat before me. She was genuinely troubled. She felt God would never forgive her, because she was involved in jeru trip. She wept bitterly. She said she has asked God to forgive her severally and she was not sure God heard her.
Another lady actually lost her mind after indulging in jeru trip because she believed she had committed an unpardonable sin. She couldn’t recognize anybody again. She embraced the devil’s lie that she has committed the unpardonable sin because of the jeru trip. She was talking gibberish and making faces. When we were called (alongside another pastor) upon to pray for her, all our attempts failed until we started to address the issue of guilt by the Spirit of God. As we began to speak to her about God’s love and kindness, that demon left her, she calmed down, sobered up and tears began to flow. It was only then she was restored. It was then she told us what really happened. The negative emotion of guilt is a terrible experience. Guilt can be so real to the point of being suicidal.
When troubles ganged up on me, a mob of sins past counting, I was so swamped by guilt I couldn’t see my way clear. More guilt in my heart than hair on my head, so heavy the guilt that my heart gave out. (Psa 40:12 MSG)
I’m swamped by my bad behavior, collapsed under gunnysacks of guilt. (Psa 38:4 MSG)
You wouldn’t want to live with guilt all your life for violating God’s law. However, no matter how guilty you feel right now; God can always send help if you call upon Him and trust in His Word. That’s the way out. It could be a sin of fornication or adultery or any form of sexual perversion, the blood of Jesus took care of all!
Then I let it all out; I said, “I’ll make a clean breast of my failures to GOD.” Suddenly the pressure was gone– my guilt dissolved, my sin disappeared. (Psa 32:5 MSG)
I want you to know that there is a lover of your soul that is different from any lover who might have disappointed you. You might have been disappointed by men, abandoned by men, used and dumped by men, treated shabbily by men…but when you meet the man, He will restore your soul! The Samaritan woman had met so many men…but then when she met the man, the lover of her soul, she couldn’t but express the difference that turned her life around!
Joh 4:28-29 KJV The woman then left her waterpot, and went her way into the city, and saith to the men, Come, see a man…
Respond to God’s love today. Refuse the emotion of guilt! You see the moment you have asked your father to forgive you, He forgives and forgets. The devil tries to bring guilt so that you can feel unworthy and thereby prevent you from coming into God’s presence boldly.
But you see, this issue is a family affair! If your earthly father has forgiven you of an offence, what else can the servant in the house say? You simply tell him to shut up!
That is the way you handle the devil. It’s none of his business. God forgave you, period. Tell the devil to shut up, it’s between you and your father, it’s a family affair and it is settled! He should stop poke nosing. The blood of Jesus handled it already!
If he tries to remind you of your past, remind him of his future, it’s the bottomless pit! Make sure you stop sinning. That is what God does not want, especially continuous and habitual sins. Grace cannot abound when sin continues!
Only hearken to what Jesus said to that adulterous woman caught in the act.
Joh 8:11 KJV… And Jesus said unto her, Neither do I condemn thee: go, and sin no more.
The fact is that you did something wrong. The lie is that you will never be forgiven. The Truth is that you are already forgiven and it is forgotten! Embrace the truth today and let it set you free! Truth is superior to fact!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse the lie from the devil. I embrace the truth of God’s word.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask that God helps you to see the truth in his word.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psalm 32:5 (KJV)I acknowledge my sin unto thee, and mine iniquity have I not hid. I said, I will confess my transgressions unto the Lord; and thou forgavest the iniquity of my sin. Selah.
Thismorning, I will like to share with you how to recognize if you are going too far in a marriage. There is no child of God that outrightly proceeds into an adulterous relationship. It is usually a subtle happenstance, an innocent friendship, albeit, the subtlety and innocence would never be an excuse for compromise.
There is a difference between a platonic friendship and a romantic relationship. When you have a platonic relationship with another married person, there would be no qualms. But the moment the relationship crosses the line from platonic to romantic, there would be issues and one can be easily trapped. An emotional affair is just a step before a full-blown affair and it is as sinful as adultery.
The question then is at what point does a friendship cross from platonic to romantic?
1. When that which ought to be kept secret between you and your spouse is divulged to the other person. This is the first sign that you are playing with fire. When a married person begins to share with you what ought to be secrets between him and his spouse, it is a good place to run away.
Or when as a married person, you begin to share with that young single lady what ought to be the exclusive reserve for you and your spouse, you are crossing the line and trying to hug some fire.
Also, when a married woman begins to look forward to seeing a single male friend, adultery is knocking.
2. When you catch yourself fantasising or daydreaming about somebody else apart from your spouse. You are travelling beyond the platonic into the romantic, and definitely, something will soon happen that might culminate into regrets later.
3. When you start discussing your marital problems with somebody else. When a married person of the opposite sex starts discussing his marital issues or starts reporting his spouse, the conversation is probably going too far. You might be feeling cool that the person trusts you to divulge such prized information, but if you are not careful, emotions would soon be involved.
You might even have the righteousness complex where you become a counsellor, trying to encourage him or her. The problem is that compassion can turn into confusion very quickly. It is all a ploy when a married person stands before you like or she needs help from you.
What wisdom does a thirty-five-year-old married man need from a single beautiful twenty-three-year-old girl? Where are the pastors and counsellors? It is a trap. At what point did you become a counsellor? Did you read Guidance and counselling in school? Many people have attempted to counsel others like that and ended up cancelling their destinies.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am not careless with my destiny
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, guide me from stepping into wrong paths
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY “Your word is a lamp to my feet and a light to my path. [ Pro 6:23 ]” (Psa 119:105, AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Run away from every friendship that has crossed the line
Yesterday, we saw the dangers of letting your emotions lead you.
What other reasons are there to show you cannot fall in love anyhow?
2. You need to protect your heart The second reason why you cannot just fall in love anyhow or with just anybody is because of your heart. You have a responsibility to protect your heart. Your heart is a like a garden. Your heart is like a vineyard of precious fruits. It should be a secured place with the word of God mounting guard over it!
Philippians 4:7 (AMP) – And God’s peace [shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.
There is a peace that comes from following God’s word that becomes a guard to your heart.
There are generally two kinds of people trying to access your heart, which is like a garden. There are gardeners who will take care of you and there are scavengers who want to take care of themselves at your expense. It is an error to fall in love carelessly with a scavenger. A gardener wants to nurture you. A scavenger wants to puncture your heart. A gardener will pray for you. A scavenger will prey on you. It is your responsibility, with the help of the Holy Spirit, to protect your heart.
If you are already in courtship, make up your mind to protect each other. When both of you are selfless and consider the other first, you will release an unprecedented dimension of favour over your relationship. Avoid strife like a plague because it is a tool in the hands of the devil to wreak havoc. Forgive each other quickly; be committed to peace. Don’t allow hurt and bitterness to chart a course for your intended family. There is no way you won’t hurt each other sometimes but practice advance forgiveness. You need to go to your partner now and apologize even if you feel he or she is in the wrong.
It is not about winning an argument, it is about not losing your partner, so bury your ego and be matured. Let peace reign. As you obey this specific instruction of reconciling with your potential spouse, watch out for a fresh deluge of His blessings especially in your finances.
I pray for you today, may you be blessed! The heavens open over you in Jesus name! God will honour you and fill your mouth with laughter.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God teaches you how to fall in love
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 18:22 (NKJV) He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
1. After emotional involvement, reasoning faculty becomes biased After you fall in love with a person, the truth is that your reasoning faculty becomes biased in favour of that person, because of the deep feelings and emotional connection that often accompany the process of falling in love. If this is the case, it is wise then to be cautious about the person you fall in love with. For example, you want to be careful about developing a close friendship with an unbeliever, to avoid the possibility of falling in love with such a person. When you fall in love with such a person, you are going to close your eyes to the fact that such a person is not a child of God. You are going to turn a deaf ear to people around you who are warning you because you have fallen in love. So you see, you have to define your relationships.
One of the greatest humiliations one can be subjected to is in the hands of a wrong person you have fallen in love with but who is not in love with you! You will practically become a puppet, as it were, in the hands of a puppet master, wielding enormous power over your emotions, abusing you, and yet unable to disconnect…may you never be in that spot! It even gets worse when you become sexually involved with such a person and there are emotional ties. Have you ever being in a relationship with a person and everybody is warning you?
Your pastor calls you and says you are making a mistake. Your parents call you and warn you sternly about the person. Your closest friends call you and tell you something must be wrong with you. Deep down in your heart, even your conscience tells you that you are making a huge mistake. But you are in love…at such times, you really need to hit the pause button! Go and pray and ask God to help you. One of the ways you can pray is to first disconnect or distance yourself from that person so that your mind can be clear to pray.
I will conclude tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not fall in love helplessly
