3. Never Underrate The Enemy’s Attack On The Home And The Effectiveness Of Prayer.
Assumption is the lowest form of knowledge. Be a praying woman and don’t explain away all the issues, quarrels, strife, and other things that drive you apart from your husband.
Lest Satan should get an advantage of us: for we are not ignorant of his devices.-2Corintians 2:11 (KJV)
After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief-we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! -2Corintians 2:11 (MSG)
A great woman must learn how to pray. Learn to take everything to God. You can birth things in prayer and that is why you have a womb. I am not in any way exonerating men who are supposed to take the lead in prayers at home but don’t wait for him, especially where morning devotions are concerned. It has been discovered that wives usually push for morning prayers at home in families before the husbands take over.
4. Never Allow Emotional And Actual Affairs
This is one area that is guaranteed to ruin any family when dabbled into. Don’t be pressured in any way to cheat on your husband! I have counseled a few husbands who feel so cheated and bitter because their wives compromised, and it took God’s intervention to keep the family going.
The sin of adultery is not a once and for all sin, it unlocks several other demonic doors and brings with it serious heartaches. Be loyal to your husband. If you are under intense pressure, find someone you really trust to talk with because sin is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. The power of iniquity is broken when exposed!
I pray over your home that God’s peace will reign in Jesus name! I say to every storm raging over your family and home, ‘be still, in Jesus name! Over your home, God’s counsel will stand!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise woman. I love my spouse appropriately
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to be a helpmeet indeed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray for your husband and children now.
This morning, I want to write about four principles that should never be flouted by any lady, flouting these principles is a sure way a woman can destroy her family.
1. Never Compare Your Home Or Family With Another.
A lot of women are caught up in comparison traps, spending the money they don’t have to buy things they don’t need in order to impress people that are not even taking note!
You need to understand that some people use 90% of their income to pose and show forth, so it is foolhardy to compare yourself with them.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. -2Corintians 10:12 (KJV)
See how another translation puts it;
We’re not, understand, putting ourselves in a league with those who boast that they’re our superiors. We wouldn’t dare do that. But in all this comparing and grading and competing, they quite miss the point. -2Corintians 10:12 (MSG)
When you fall into a comparison trap, you can put yourself, your husband, and your family in unnecessary pressure. Continual comparison can sentence one into a perpetual state of ungratefulness to God which can eventually culminate in depression.
2. Never Become The Head Of Your Family.
That is not the order that God has instituted. The moment you try to do this, you have violated the principles of God and confusion will surely set in.
This is often expressed when you refuse to accept corrections from your husband.
But I want you to understand that Christ is supreme over every man, the husband is supreme over his wife, and God is supreme over Christ. -1Corintians 11:3 (GNB)
I am not in any way suggesting you violate God’s principles in order to ‘submit’ to your husband. But in a general sense, a wife is supposed to submit to her own husband. Some women submit to their Pastors but not to their husbands.
That bothers on hypocrisy because you are submitting to another man’s husband in effect. Your submission to your Pastor becomes genuine when you really submit to your own husband.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise woman. I love my spouse appropriately
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray that God will give you the wisdom to be a helpmeet indeed
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands. Proverbs 14:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray for your husband and children now.
This means you must not consciously or unconsciously allow any infiltration into your marriage. Prying eyes and inquisitive ears must be discouraged. It also means you must not deny each other for any selfish reasons.
Amplified version of the Bible says that;
Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things… – Hebrews 13:4 (AMP)
Why must sexual intimacy be guarded? The reason is right there. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. God will not take it lightly when the marital bed is desecrated by either of the spouse.
Amplified Bible goes further to say;
…And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
God will judge all sexual vice.
May I finally add that God does not condemn you in any way. He will not condone sin either. What is the thing to do? Stop the ungodly relationships.
Terminate it right away. Pick your phone and call him or her right away and tell him or her it is over. Decide for God. Embrace God’s principles. Become a word stickler and God will surely honour you and restore all the lost years back to you.
It is so easy to do. Several people who made decisions for God in their marriage and sexuality call me every day from virtually every part of the world! You can do it too!
Go into His presence right away, confess all sins and ask for forgiveness. He will give you peace and your soul will be preserved. If you need someone to pray with you, feel free to give me a call. God bless you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy in my marriage. I will not be careless in my marriage and in my duty to my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy every weapon of the enemy to tear us apart.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure. God will judge the person who commits adultery. He will judge everyone who commits sexual sins. –Hebrew 13:4
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List a few ways you need to make changes in your marital bed. Follow through.
Marriage is a covenant. Know this and know peace! It is sad to know that there are married people who are entangled in sexual affairs with their colleagues, subordinates or superiors at work. How I wish you know the implication of what you are doing?
How I wish your eyes would open to see the turmoil and anguish that awaits you, then you would have escaped for your dear life.
Adultery ruins, it destroys, it tears families apart, it transfers wrong spirits to innocent children, it opens the home to invasion of demonic attacks, the list is endless.
Above all, God’s principles and spiritual laws are violated, you risk losing all of God’s support in your life. It’s an unsafe place to be!
Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. – Hebrews 13:4 (MSG)
Sexual intimacy between a man and a woman is sacred. It is not a carnal act neither is it an evil act.
The Bible advises that this sacredness of sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife must be guarded.
Marriage is to be honoured. It is an institution that must be respected. One of the ways you respect the marriage institution either as a husband or wife is to guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy.
To be continued.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will guard the sacredness of my marriage.
PRAYERSFOR THE DAY Lord, give me the wisdom I need to run my marriage well.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure. God will judge the person who commits adultery. He will judge everyone who commits sexual sins. –Hebrew 13:4
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List a few ways you need to make changes in your marital bed. Follow through.
If you are married, never deny him/her in bed. It should not be used as a reward or punishment in marriage. Always be there for him or her because if you are not, he or she becomes vulnerable to others outside who may be putting pressure.
2. Communication
Don’t hide anything from your spouse. Be very open. The moment you start hiding things, you are opening the doors for the devil. Whatever is covered would never be healed. Iniquity is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy.
3. Chastity
As a married person, don’t play with infidelity. Don’t hang out with colleagues discussing your home and marriage. Respect the marital covenant you have with your spouse. Don’t be too fast giving up on your marriage because of personal differences and opinions that will surely show up.
4. Emotional Needs
Do not manipulate your spouse with emotional antics. Your spouse cannot satisfy ALL your emotional needs. Some of the emotional emptiness you feel are as a result of deep emptiness in the soul that can only be satisfied with God and His word. No wonder the scripture says, ‘He restoreth my soul!’
5. Selflessness
Cover the back of each other. Avoid tit for tat! In marriage, you are one. When you fight or hurt your spouse, in reality, you are fighting or hurting your destiny. Don’t shoot yourself in the leg. Put your ego aside and apologize quickly.
Be very sincere, and run away from deceptive tendencies. Let your spouse trust you any day any time. Learn to say sorry and forgive quickly. Think about it, if God stops forgiving you when you ask Him to, how would you have survived it? Work together as one and your progress will be ensured.
I pray for you this morning that God will give you the wisdom you need in your marriage, family, home, career, work, business, and other endeavors in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Our love is rekindled daily. I love my spouse and I am committed to our marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes and show me what I know not.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:7 GNB Do not deceive yourselves; no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Talk to God. Pour your heart to Him now
Infidelity is the quality of being unfaithful. Once either spouse gets into the muddy, murky waters of infidelity, trust is ruptured, the marital covenant is broken, and God’s principles are violated!
Infidelity is a marriage killer any day. There are so many reasons why people get into infidelity but none of the reasons is justifiable. You have no excuse for becoming unfaithful to your spouse. Adultery is a killer, it looks sweet initially, but the consequences are undesirable.
Let’s look at some scriptures in the book of Proverbs. When Solomon starts talking to you about adultery, you had better listen, he had it all and you will never be able to break his record! He had so many women in his harem that he must have used tallies or numbers to identify them.
Stolen waters are sweet, and bread eaten in secret is pleasant. –Proverbs 9:17(KJV)
Adultery seems sweet, but what happens afterward?
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. –Proverbs 20:17 (KJV)
You sure don’t want to be served a plate of gravel for food, but that is what a lot of people are cooking for lunch and dinner!
Unfaithfulness in your marriage will also reduce you. It will reduce you to what can be swallowed by the devil. See it here:
For by means of a whorish woman a man is brought to a piece of bread: and the adulteress will hunt for the precious life. –Proverbs 6:26 (KJV)
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful. I am kept by God’s power. I am filled with God’s Spirit; I will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord keep me strong and keep me by your Word. Keep me by your Spirit in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So be happy with your wife and find your joy with the woman you married. –Proverbs 5:18
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every immoral relationship.
The issue of communication in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Think about it, before that relationship started, you had to communicate your love to her.
In preparing for the wedding, you had to do a lot of communication. The problem is a lot of couples stop communicating after marriage.
Words are powerful. Jesus said words are spirits. Spirits don’t die, therefore words don’t die. Jesus said you will account for everything you say.
You can build your marriage with right words and you can ruin it with wrong words. Whilst doing my Master’s Degree programme in Communication and Language Arts, a professor told us in class something simple but powerful.
In communication, the speaker and the hearer are very important. Until what is said is perceived and understood by the receiver, there is no communication. The question is “are you listening to her?”
Spend time with your spouse. Discuss from time to time. If you don’t give your spouse attention, you will be shocked of the extent he/she can go just to get attention.
In some countries, listeners are hired and paid just to listen to women talk. That is how important communication is.
Whatever happens in your marriage, don’t stop communicating. Learn your spouse’s love language, that is his/her password!
You see, out of the abundance, of the heart, the mouth speaks… If you are on his/her mind, there will be communication! When you are rendered incommunicado in a marriage for whatever excuse, it is not a good place to be.
If your marriage is defective, you can still make amends today!
He stands at the door of your heart and knocks. If you open the door for him he will come in right now and realign your marriage.
May God give you more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
“Hullo dear, have you slept?” “No, I have not, I am listening! I heard the last thing you said.” The truth is that you have dozed off.
It has happened to me many times, and I am sure it has happened to you as well. My wife is talking to me on the bed, and I have dozed off. I am trying to listen to her because it is a legitimate need of hers, but the son of man is tired!
Somebody said women speak more words than men. A man speaks an average of ten thousand words in a day, but a woman speaks about twenty-five thousand words! There are exceptions, though.
The man is back from work and he has probably exhausted his 10,000 quota since he derives his self-esteem and fulfillment from work.
By the time he is coming back home, he is done for the day, words have been spoken with friends, colleagues, clients, employers, employees, on the phone and so on. He wants to come back home, eat, listen to news, check a few mails, make love to his wife and sleep!
The wife too has probably exhausted 10,000 words at work, but by the time she is home, she still has 15,000 words bubbling in her! It is even worse if she is a housewife! She has nobody to talk to and so people around her say she nags, making repetitions and all that. The fact is that she needs to talk!
So the wife asks her husband “How was work today?” He answers “Fine!” If he is in a good mood, he adds a few more words like, “oh baby, my day was cool, Thank God!”
She is worried he is not talking, but the guy is in no mood to talk.
The husband asks the wife, “how has your day been? And he regrets afterwards! That was all she needs to unleash the words that have been brewing in her like a molten magma. The volcanic eruption of words is so massive; the guy wants to walk away. So she starts from when she woke up, and goes on and on, and the man is wondering: “What did I ask, what is she narrating!”
You see, that is a woman for you and you must not mute her or shut her up! Let her talk! Don’t make a mistake of shouting her down all the time or quieting her! It is a legitimate need of hers.
When a woman has no fear of God and this legitimate need of hers has not been met, she might succumb to the traps of the devil and get that legitimate need met through illegitimate means, which of course will be detrimental to the marriage and the home!
There are people out there who are waiting to capitalize on your insensitivity to your wife and take advantage of that emotional gully created by lack of communication.
You see, a lady becomes emotionally connected to the person she talks to!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY (Pro 18:4) The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Fix a time for a hearty discussion
You should not only call the disciples (other friends) into your marriage, but you need to call Jesus as well. Both Jesus and his disciples were called. When they needed a miracle, it wasn’t the disciples that turned water into wine, they were busy drinking wine, but it was Jesus. There are times when the wine of the marriage dries up, and it is Jesus you need at such times.
In marriage, you need the person of Jesus and the principles of Jesus to make it. But you know, a marriage full of sexual compromise and lack of self-control is not giving space for Jesus at all. When you start having adultery, you are doing things worthy of self-rustication from the school. You are kicking at your teacher and you are trying to say you want things done your own way.
A marriage where the husband, wife or both of them are cheating are disenfranchising themselves from the very help and wisdom they need in their marriage! The scripture advises that you drink water from your own cistern!
Drink waters out of thine own cistern, and running waters out of thine own well. Let thy fountains be dispersed abroad, and rivers of waters in the streets. Let them be only thine own, and not strangers’ with thee. Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. Let her be as the loving hind and pleasant roe; let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love. And why wilt thou, my son, be ravished with a strange woman, and embrace the bosom of a stranger? – Proverbs 5:15 – 20
When you drink water from your own cistern (talking about making love with your wife), it is like water turned into wine. How sweet it is!
But, when you drink water from strange women and cisterns, you are taking poison! It tastes sweet in your mouth but it will hurt you!
Bread of deceit is sweet to a man; but afterwards his mouth shall be filled with gravel. – Proverbs 20:17
The teacher is compassionate! He stands at the door of the class, in your heart, and simply wants you to extend an invitation to him to enter the class! In your marriage, the wine will always be insufficient.
Your own wisdom will fail you. But he is there to help you out, if you invite him!
Will you invite him today? It is the best thing to do. He will save you from shame and keep the wine of your marriage, life and destiny flowing beautifully. He will teach you how to make your marriage a bliss and not full of blisters, how to make it a haven and not an oven!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage. Marriage is an institution by itself. Someone rightly said that marriage is the only institution where you get the certificate first (on the wedding day) before you start learning!
Marriage is an inevitable school, a marital academy, not a martial school! There are so many things to learn and its curriculum lasts a life time. You never graduate. That is why you were given the certificate before you start the learning to prepare you for the reality.
However, the certificate does not change you in any way, it only binds you to the institution.
Marriage is like a car with no reverse gear! Once you try to fabricate a reverse gear, you tamper with the vehicle of marriage and you are no longer consistent with the manufacturer’s specification. The result is a damaged vehicle and before you know it, the car is grounded, the occupants are immobilized, and progress is truncated!
In the school of marriage, the matriculation and convocation take place the same day. You enroll and you get your certificate the same day. You are allowed to wear your graduation gown (wedding gown) and throw a party. And then the school begins.
There will be no graduation, neither are you allowed to withdraw (divorce) anyhow. Your spouse becomes your instructor and student at the same time. Your mark each other’s scripts. There will be several term papers, assignments, projects that touch you on the physical, emotional and psychological realms.
You are not allowed to be a day student. You are a boarder! No frolicking around! You are to focus on the curriculum, on your classmate and listen to several tutorials that will come your way to make you become a better student.
If you are good in Mathematics, your spouse will probably be good in English Language. While you are you are busy with your engineering, she is busy with her Home Economics. Trust me, this school can be enjoyed and not endured!
However you always have an internal examiner (Holy Spirit) that is ever ready to give you Areas of Concentration, if you ask. And of course there is the external examiner who is ever watching you and who will eventually reward for being a good spouse.
Joh 2:2 KJV And both Jesus was called, and his disciples, to the marriage.
Jesus was called to the marriage! His reward packages include favour, grace, help, open doors and so many others too numerous to mention.
You have one great manual, it is the word of life and it contains all answers to every question, puzzle or enigma that might rear up its head.
You are not allowed to fight with your only classmate. That is one of the rules of the class! You are to love, cherish adore and learn together. Learning has to be fun because it is life-long. You are not permitted to go into unnecessary and needless mood swings that leave your partner wondering what went wrong.
If you ever get into strife with your partner in class, your examiner will work out of the class and you won’t see him again until you make up! The examiner will disappear and you are left on your own, so never fight! If you quarrel, make up quickly!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY In my marriage, I will not be cut off in the midst of my days. I will last in the marriage institution.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mal 2:15 MSG GOD, not you, made marriage. His Spirit inhabits even the smallest details of marriage. And what does he want from marriage? Children of God, that’s what. So guard the spirit of marriage within you. Don’t cheat on your spouse.
Believe me, all these contribute to the total well-being of a good marriage. But they can’t do all these when there are people living with them observing every move they make with critical eyes and breathing down their necks. They need that free space before the children start coming.
In those foundational years, the couple needs to become friends. What do friends do? They talk. They communicate. Study yourselves, Discuss temperamental differences. Watch Television together. Play games on your laptops together in your free time.
Dear wife, study your husband’s likes. Make up your mind to fall in love with what he loves. If he is a football lover, start watching football. This is the only way he won’t leave you at home to go and watch football with his friends outside.
Study his passion. Be passionate with his passion! Don’t feel left out when he buries his head in his laptop, iPad, etc. Join him and pad the iPad together! That’s the secret!
Dear husband, your immediate family which is made up of you and your wife is more important than any other in this world. You have the responsibility to protect it.
Don’t turn your newly wedded wife into a cook, because she has to cook for cousins, brothers, etc! The wife is not a professional cook or dry-cleaner who cooks from morning till night catering for the husband’s three brothers and mother from the village!
That is not healthy for any marriage! Sometimes, this is in addition to her career! And then, you wonder why she is always tired when you get to bed.
Give her quality time. Study her love language. Give her listening time. When she is talking, maintain eye to eye contact, and be involved even when she is discussing illogical things. Just listen and you won’t lose her to moods and depression.
Tomorrow, we will continue the series on Relationship and Marriage Killers.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage. My marriage is kept by God’s power. My marriage will not turn into hardship. I am helped of God. I am directed by the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my relationships and marriage and fill me with the Spirit id wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
There are several factors that could literally put an end to a marriage.
The first in the series of marriage killers we will be looking at is Home Invaders. I always counsel newly married couples – Don’t allow anybody to come and live with you when you are newly married, be it cousins, brothers, sisters, mother or father.
If you want to help your folk, and you should help them, you can make provision for them without necessarily their coming to stay with you. How I wish newly married couples can lend their ears to this wisdom.
This is because the newly wedded couple needs as much privacy as possible to be alone and to discover themselves. They don’t need any distractions in those foundational years, especially the first five years.
They need to focus on God and themselves. If a young couple can focus on God and themselves in the first few years, they would have established a solid foundation that will withstand any marital storm or wind that may come.
Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth. – Proverbs 5:18 (KJV)
They don’t need anything that might trigger inhibitions in their sexual life. They don’t need anybody to complain about the wife’s inability to cook well or the husband’s uncaring attitude.
Two is a good company, three is a crowd. They don’t need somebody to critique the stew and how the meat didn’t collide well with the catfish.
The young wife needs to focus her love and respect on her husband and she does not need all the additional emotional upheavals and pressures that are often engendered when she has a lot of people to attend to.
They should be left alone to discover themselves. They should be free to walk around their house naked, play together, jump on themselves and have a lot of fun together.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am full of wisdom to fulfill my role in my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding as regards my marriage and fill me with the Spirit of wisdom.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Follow the suggestions above
Husbands, are you hurting your wife? Do you care for her emotional well-being? Or are you just focusing on what gives you fulfillment which is your job?
Do you leave your wife lonely, vulnerable and unhappy? Are you really concerned about her as a person or you just want her to be well behaved so you can have some peace and concentrate more on your job?
Do you really love her, cherish, appreciate adore and affirm your wife or you are too busy for that? Do you understand her inner struggles, unfulfilled aspirations, dreams and depression triggers?
Are you secretly cheating on her thinking that nobody will discover? Do you know that the scripture says one day will come when your sin will find you out? Even if you run to UK or USA, the ‘sin’ will collect visa too and will appear like James Bond!
Remember God has a marking scheme, and the marking scheme says, ‘Husbands, love your wife.’
Wives, are you submitted to your husband’s desires? Do you respect him even when his decisions seem hard to follow? Do you go your own way while you leave him to go his own ways? Do you spend ‘your own’ money the way you want without having the attitude that it is ‘our money?’
Are you really a loving couple or strange bed fellows? Do you seek to appreciate him? Do you make yourself available as a suitable help, adaptable to him or you are busy and consumed with just your own self?
Are you selfishly drawing or demanding attention for self without being selfless? Do you realize deep down in your mind that you can deceive somebody for a long time, but you cannot fool God for a second? That is why the scripture says God is not mocked!
Remember that if you fail in your marital assignment, you have failed in a major area of your life and destiny. But when we do fail, His mercy covers for us and he helps us in our weaknesses. He turns our failures into glory.
Thank God for grace, because God is a God of second chance. While grace is not a license for habitual sins, grace will embrace you if you make a mistake. He teaches and trains us while on the assignment. He gives us several tutorials and allows the Holy Spirit to show us some of the questions in the examination. He allows the Holy Spirit to enter the examination hall with us and help us out! What a God!
If you find yourself floundering in any areas, you have a father who will always embrace you and help you. Turn to Him and talk to Him. He has listening ears and He will not condemn you. He will rather embrace you in His everlasting and loving arms and turn your life and home around.
I pray that God will give you more wisdom in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will make a success of my marital assignment. I will love my wife. I will be submissive to my husband.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let every crisis area in my marital assignment receive healing in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:33 (AMP) However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. [I Pet. 3:2.]
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your wife how you can love her better. Ask your husband in what ways you can be the wife of his dreams.
I am very persuaded that when you are not living right and following God’s principles, there are a lot of things you are missing and then you make yourself vulnerable to the antics of the devil.
I can prove this to you from the scriptures and from several experiences my ears have scraped from phone calls from every continent on this earth! It is the same everywhere, tales of regrets the moment compromise has been entertained.
You see, the devil knows you are a child of God. He knows you want to make heaven. He cannot access your life until you allow him. You allow him the moment you buy into his suggestions, temptations and traps.
He sets specific traps that are unique to your weakness. And this is what you must realize! Before someone starts winking at you for extra-marital affair, the devil ensures you have been fighting your spouse thereby making you vulnerable!
Everything that happens is of spiritual significance! Nothing just happens! Before you take that action, ask yourself, is this moving me towards God or away from God? There is no middle ground!
But it also applies to you: every husband must love his wife as himself, and every wife must respect her husband. –Ephesians 5:33 (GNB)
When you were single, you were at the preparation stage, but now that you are married, you are at the performance stage of your married life. You are at the center stage and heaven’s spotlight is on you.
Your performance in marriage will either allow you to be marked right or wrong. God gave you the marital assignment and He is going to mark your script.
Dear husband and wife, it is not what you feel or think is right that you do that will earn you a pass mark in your marital assignment but what God requires according to His marking scheme (the Bible).
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will make a success of my marital assignment. I will love my wife. I will be submissive to my husband.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Let every crisis area in my marital assignment receive healing in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY However, let each man of you [without exception] love his wife as [being in a sense] his very own self; and let the wife see that she respects and reverences her husband [that she notices him, regards him, honors him, prefers him, venerates, and esteems him; and that she defers to him, praises him, and loves and admires him exceedingly]. –Ephesians 5:33 (AMP)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Ask your wife how you can love her better. Ask your husband in what ways you can be the wife of his dreams.
Still reading from our anchor scripture Genesis 38:16, 18
…And Judah turned unto her by the way and said, go to, I pray you, let me come in unto you: And she said what will you GIVE me, that you may come in unto me? And he said what pledge shall I give you? And she said, your SIGNET, and your BRACELETS and your STAFF that is in your hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. –Genesis 38:16, 18 (KJV)
SIGNET is ‘chotham chotham’ in Hebrew language and it simply means a seal or a signature ring, it represents authority. It also implies, ‘finality’.
You rule in this world with authority. When Jesus was leaving his disciples, he gave them authority. It is the mark of your reign on earth; it is the proof of your royalty. And yes, that is what you let go when you desecrate yourself with what would have been rightfully yours in marriage!
BRACELET is ‘pathiyl’ and simply means twine or lace. It represents the dignity and the glory of God in your life. It is a mark of favour that makes you outstanding and beautiful in this sinfully ugly world.
STAFF is ‘matteh mattah’ which figuratively means a tribe, a rod, whether for chastising, ruling as in a scepter, and also means a support of life as in bread!
No wonder the devil plays the card of free and cheap compromise all over the place. No wonder he glamorizes and makes sin looks like the usual thing using the dual passage of technology and the media!
I have gone all the way to expatiate on this to let you see the implication of compromise. I want you to know that bed antics is spiritual and it does not end in the brothel or the hotel, it actually begins!
Would it be worth it to exchange the three most important things in your life for some few minutes of pleasure that will bring heartache and untold agony later?
Joseph would have lost the signet, bracelet and staff of a Prime Minister-ship in Egypt had he compromised with Mrs. Potiphar!
This message is not to condemn you! On the contrary, it is to call you to order. That is the anointing and unction on Kisses and Huggs Club and to the glory of God, thousands are being touched and affected from every continent on this planet!
It is your turn to drink from this grace! It is your turn to turn around!
I want you to run to God this morning. If you feel your signet, bracelet and staff are all gone and lost, God can restore! All He wants is your genuine turn around! It is as simple as that.
Ask God to give you a new beginning and He will! His love is ever available for you, and all you need to do is to embrace that love! He will not only forgive you, He will also forget about it! Believe it!
Talk to him right now! If you are still struggling with guilt and you have nobody to pray with you, you could give a call.
I pray it will be a new day for you and that all you have lost will be restored in Jesus name as you call upon God now!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have grace, wisdom and diligence to develop myself as I prepare for marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I resist every hindrance to my success in my assignment.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So Jotham became mighty, because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God. – 2Chronicles 27:6 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all your attitudes, positive and negative. Find ways to improve on your good attitudes and eliminate the bad ones.
…And Judah turned unto her by the way and said, go to, I pray you, let me come in unto you: And she said what will you GIVE me, that you may come in unto me? And he said what pledge shall I give you? And she said, your SIGNET, and your BRACELETS and your STAFF that is in your hand. And he gave it her, and came in unto her, and she conceived by him. –Genesis 38:16, 18 (KJV)
This scripture shows that Judah made a certain exchange to have sex with this woman. He exchanged his Signet, Bracelets, and staff.
Signet: which signifies your AUTHORITY
Bracelets: which is your BEAUTY
Your Staff: represent STABILITY
Many people do not realize that at every compromise there is always an exchange. There is a lot of significance to the things he exchanged; apparently, he didn’t see it that way. Just like most people do not consider the things they give out at every compromise, for every sexual escapade either as a man/woman, you lose something.
You lose those three things each time you compromise in adultery or any other form of sexual perversion.
Every time you had a quickie that is misplaced, every time you thought you were having fun, every time you thought you were cheating on your spouse, some part of you actually die.
Let’s look at some of those words:
What PLEDGE shall I give you..?
The Hebrew word is ‘Arabon’ taken from a root word that means ‘in the sense of exchange.’
So it was actually an exchange! It was a transaction.
I pray you will not exchange your destiny because of lust! Esau exchanged his destiny over a plate of porridge and the Bible says he sought for it with tears later. We are advised not to be a fornicator, and a profane person like Esau was.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have grace, wisdom, and diligence to build my marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I resist every hindrance to my success in my assignment.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY So Jotham became mighty because he prepared his ways before the LORD his God. -2Chronicles 27:6 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out all your attitudes, positive and negative. Find ways to improve on your good attitudes and eliminate the bad ones.
Be committed to the things of God. Don’t be so busy with your career or family life that you abandon your purpose and the assignment for which God created you. Make sure you pursue your purpose because that is where true riches and fulfillment lie.
5. Love or lust?
Be selfless! That is how your marriage will last. Let the love of God propel you in all you do. Let the love of God be shed abroad in your heart. Love her truly. Respect him indeed. That is the blueprint that keeps divorce away!
Respect means a lot to a man while love means a lot to a woman. Rather than go back and forth on who is right or wrong, go ahead with agape love, unconditional love and you will keep your home together.
6. Space and Forgiveness
Forgive easily. It is the way to go if you want your marriage to last. Practice advance forgiveness. Never hold your spouse in bitterness. Men, be patient with your spouse and make sure you love her genuinely.
Women, do not close up your spirit against your husband to a point you now live like strangers in your matrimonial home. Those are dangerous precursors to divorce!
7. Mentors
Adulterous relationships and extra-marital relationships are rooted in secrecy. The moment you can hide something from your spouse, you have planted a seed for chaos. Be open with each other. It kills the power of infidelity.
Learn to have a joint mentor who you trust, whom you can report yourselves to that will help you sort out issues that are beyond you. Take issues as they come and don’t store up hurts.
God will help you and give you grace in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 2:10-12 KJV When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
Spend time together. Never allow jobs, people, or any other thing to take this away from you. Learn to pray together every morning. This morning, I held my spouse in my arms, and we prayed together before I got up from the bed. You are able to maximize your time when you put God first place in your marriage.
2. Transition
Transition is defined in three ways:
a. the act of passing from one state or place to the next
b. an event that results in transformation
c. a change from one place or state or subject or stage to another
There will be transition times in your lives, when either spouse travels away for some time or when you get to a new place. Be careful with developing emotional affairs simply because your spouse is not around.
This can easily lead to adulterous relationships and this can further lead to separation and divorce since God’s injunctions that protect you have been violated. If you are already in one, it is not too late to stop it and ask God to help you!
3. Unequal yoke
Be wary of developing associations with friends who don’t know God or colleagues who don’t value the things of God. They can sow the wrong seed of words into your marriage and before you know it, you are already following their advice which is contrary to the ways of God.
Never discuss your spouse or family issues with colleagues. It can trap you and push you to the edge of confusion. I pray for you this morning that God will frustrate every counsel of Ahitofel in Jesus name!
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in haste concerning my relationships. I will be led by God’s Spirit.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, guide my steps so that I will not start wrong relationships in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY When wisdom entereth into thine heart, and knowledge is pleasant unto thy soul; Discretion shall preserve thee, understanding shall keep thee: To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things; -Proverbs 2:10-12 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the qualities you want in a man and use it to pray.
I have been married for over 20 years and I can categorically tell you, love is not blind at all.
Love is a serious business, that you engage in with all your five senses intact and even the sixth one.
Sometimes ago, I was revisiting the marriage vows taken from a wedding I attended. I thought to myself, most people taking these vows don’t understand half of what they are saying. Then I felt like the wedding day sermon should be spent on explaining a little about the vows.
Many couples spend most of their time together praying. Is it that prayers or praying together is not good? Absolutely, it is 100% good.
Many other couples spend most of their time talking. Is it that talking is not good, (depending on what they are talking about). Absolutely, good.
Marriage is both spiritual and physical, so we have to take care of the spiritual aspect as well as the physical aspect. Talking to God will handle the spiritual aspect while talking together about issues will handle the physical aspect.
We cannot enjoy the marriage and maximize our full marital potential by engaging in one at the expense of another. We have to pray as though our marriage depended on our prayers and we also have to talk as though our marriage depended on it.
When I mean talk, I mean talk to yourselves, not about something or someone. All most couples do is talk about events, news, something or someone, they hardly talk about themselves. They simply gossip and that is all they do.
Most of your time together must be spent on talking about yourselves, leave the remaining to talk about other events or issues.
Love is no longer blind. Some of us had loose ends before marriage that has left us as prey to the enemy. We should not be afraid to talk and trash out issues after all, we get to know ourselves by asking and answering questions.
There has to be a balance between praying and talking. No matter how long you have been married, we should go back to asking ourselves pertinent questions, and write our discussions down. At least God wrote down His thoughts.
These serves as our projections, our values, our commitment. We get to know and understand each other’s expectations.
One of the major causes of problems in marriage is unmet expectations. We have expectations our spouse didn’t even know anything about. They are not aware of those expectations not to talk of meeting them.
Talk, ask questions. What are your expectations in marriage? What do you want from me? Were you in cult when you were in school? What is your vision in life? What do we do to avoid divorce? What do we do to have a blissful marriage? What can I do that you will never forgive me? And so many questions.
Keep asking questions and talking all through your marriage. Your words together coupled with your prayers are knitting your hearts together until the Twain became one flesh, and nothing will be able to put you asunder.
Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. May God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My eyes of understanding are open.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me in every you can in the name of Jesus
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder. – Mat 19:6 (KJV)
Women get easily hurt. And the husbands may not even be aware that they are hurt because their needs are miles apart.
Those are the times a husband asks his wife, “what is wrong?” She simply answers “Nothing!”
She says nothing because she doesn’t feel good explaining that something so little gets her upset.
Or she knows if she tries to explain, the husband might end up making her look like an idiot. So she keeps quiet.
What are examples of those little things that could upset your wife?
1. Don’t do things that make her uncomfortable sexually. Don’t embarrass her and don’t compare her with some past escapades.
2. Don’t ignore her when it comes to making important of financial decisions. Don’t leave her in the dark, keeping her guessing all the time.
3. Don’t compare her with others especially when it has to do with her appearance, weight or hairdo. Don’t go out of your way to appreciate and dote on other women while you completely ignore her.
4. Don’t do things that you have disallowed her from doing, making her feel like a little child who cannot think for herself.
5. Don’t ignore her when she is emotionally down or physically tired. Don’t say things like, “I am tired of you. When you get out of your nasty moods, let me know!”
6. Don’t hug and embrace other ladies endlessly while you don’t even hold her hands in public. Go out of your way and offer some PDA! Public Display of Affection!
7. Don’t leave her alone to do all the house chores while still expecting her to be an amazon in bed later in the night. That would be insensitive.
8. Don’t watch football all day and all night while refusing to let her watch her favorite programs. Don’t make her look like an idiot for her preference of programs. Join her to watch sometimes, and encourage her to join you as well.
9. Don’t forget or deliberately ignore her special days like birthdays and other anniversaries. Rather go out of your way to set notifications so that you can surprise her on those special days.
May God grant more understanding
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am good spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, bless our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 (KJV) Let thy fountain be blessed: and rejoice with the wife of thy youth.
