Being in a relationship does not automatically remove loneliness.
You can be physically present with someone—talking, living together, even praying together—yet still feel emotionally distant, unseen, or disconnected inside. This kind of loneliness is often confusing because, on the surface, everything looks “fine.”
But deep down, something is missing.
It’s important to understand that loneliness in a relationship is rarely about the absence of a person. More often, it is about the absence of emotional connection, safety, and intentional intimacy.
God designed relationships not just for presence, but for oneness—a deep sense of being known, understood, valued, and connected.
What Scripture Says
“And the Lord God said, It is not good that the man should be alone…”— Genesis 2:18 (KJV)
This does not only refer to physical aloneness, but also emotional and relational isolation. You can be with someone and still experience a form of “aloneness” when true connection is missing.
Why Loneliness Creeps Into Relationships
1. Low Emotional Intimacy
One major reason this happens is when emotional intimacy is low. Conversations may revolve around daily activities—work, responsibilities, routines—but never go deeper into thoughts, feelings, fears, and desires. Over time, this creates a quiet gap.
2. Unresolved Hurt
Another reason is unresolved hurt. When issues are not properly addressed, they don’t disappear—they settle beneath the surface. These unspoken pains can create invisible walls, making it harder to open up again.
3. Busyness
Busyness is another silent contributor. Life becomes full—work, responsibilities, social commitments—and before long, the relationship becomes functional instead of relational. You are present, but not truly connected.
4. Lack of Vulnerability
There is also the issue of vulnerability. When one or both partners do not feel safe enough to express their true feelings, they begin to hold back. And where there is no openness, there can be no deep connection.
5. Fading Appreciation
In some cases, appreciation fades. What was once expressed freely—kind words, affirmation, gratitude—becomes rare. This can make one or both partners feel unseen or taken for granted.
6. Spiritual Connection Without Emotional Connection
Interestingly, even strong spiritual connection does not automatically replace emotional connection. Praying together is powerful, but it must be accompanied by honest, heartfelt communication and shared emotional experiences.
Loneliness Is a Signal, Not a Sentence
The good news is that loneliness in a relationship is not permanent—it is a signal, not a sentence.
It points to areas that need attention, intention, and care.
God’s Way Forward
God’s way forward is clear:
Be intentional about connection.
Create space for meaningful conversations.
Listen to understand, not just to respond.
Speak appreciation daily.
Address hurts early.
Most importantly, build an environment where both partners feel safe to be fully known.
True companionship is not just about being together— it is about being deeply connected.
And that kind of connection can be built, nurtured, and restored with intention and God’s help.
When you keep attracting the wrong people… it can feel frustrating and confusing.
You’re sincere, prayerful, and intentional—yet the pattern seems to repeat itself.
It’s okay to desire love and companionship. That desire is natural and God-given.
But sometimes, what we attract is not just about chance—it reflects what we allow, what we believe, and what is still unhealed.
Scripture says:
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
What flows from your heart often determines what flows into your life.
1. When Past Wounds Are Unhealed
You may unknowingly attract similar patterns.
Solution: Prioritize healing before pursuing another relationship.
2. When Self-Worth Is Low
You may accept less than you deserve.
Solution: Build your identity in Christ, not in validation from others.
3. When Red Flags Are Ignored
Spiritual labels can sometimes blind discernment.
Solution: Watch actions, not just words or appearances.
4. When Desperation Overrides Wisdom
The desire for marriage can cloud judgment.
Solution: Choose peace and clarity over urgency.
5. When Boundaries Are Weak
You may give too much too soon.
Solution: Set and maintain clear emotional and physical boundaries.
6. When Validation Is External
You may depend on others for your sense of worth.
Solution: Let your identity come from God, not people.
7. When Unhealthy Patterns Repeat
Familiarity can feel like connection.
Solution: Recognize patterns and intentionally break them.
8. When Preparation Is Ignored
Praying without preparing creates imbalance.
Solution: Become who you are praying for.
The Way Forward
Heal intentionally. Raise your standards. Strengthen your identity in Christ. Set boundaries. Seek accountability. Choose discernment over emotion. Focus on becoming whole.
You don’t just attract what you want—you often attract what aligns with where you are.
Intimacy Tips
When your emotional life is not aligned… it can affect your sexual discipline and intimacy decisions. Desire is natural—but without control, it can lead to compromise or confusion.
For Singles
When you seek emotional validation from the wrong people… it can lead to premature emotional and physical involvement.
Intimacy Tip: Don’t use physical closeness to secure emotional connection. Discipline your desires—don’t let them lead you.
“Flee youthful lusts…” — 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
For Couples (Preparing for Marriage)
When boundaries are not respected during courtship… it can lead to guilt, confusion, and weakened spiritual focus.
Intimacy Tip: Protect your purity before marriage—it builds trust and strengthens future intimacy.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence…” — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
Healthy intimacy begins with discipline, clarity, and self-control.
When small arguments keep happening… it’s easy to think the problem is the issue itself.
A forgotten task. A tone. A delay.
But most times, the real issue is deeper.
It’s not just about what happened—it’s about what is being felt underneath.
It’s okay to have disagreements. But when small things keep triggering big reactions, there is often something unresolved beneath the surface.
Scripture says:
“Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” — Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)
Unresolved emotions don’t disappear—they resurface in unexpected ways.
1. When Past Hurt Is Unspoken
Old pain can be triggered by present situations.
Solution: Address past wounds, not just present arguments.
2. When Emotional Connection Is Low
You may feel unheard or unseen.
Solution: Invest in daily emotional connection.
3. When Appreciation Is Missing
Lack of affirmation can build silent frustration.
Solution: Express gratitude intentionally and often.
4. When Resentment Has Built Up
Unresolved issues accumulate over time.
Solution: Deal with issues early and consistently.
5. When Communication Habits Are Unhealthy
Patterns learned over time can affect how you respond.
Solution: Learn to communicate calmly and clearly.
6. When Stress Is Misdirected
External pressure gets released within the relationship.
Solution: Be aware of emotional triggers and manage stress wisely.
7. When Vulnerability Feels Unsafe
Anger can sometimes hide deeper emotions.
Solution: Create a safe space for honest expression.
8. When Emotional Intimacy Is Lacking
Distance increases sensitivity and misunderstandings.
Solution: Prioritize emotional closeness daily.
The Way Forward
Pause and ask: “What is this really about?” Listen to understand, not to defend. Address issues early. Practice daily appreciation. Build emotional safety. Pray together consistently.
For Singles
Learn healthy communication now—it shapes your future marriage.
For Married
Small fights often reveal deeper needs—don’t ignore them.
Sometimes, the issue is not the issue—it’s what’s beneath it.
Intimacy Tips
When emotional tension builds through constant small fights… it doesn’t stay in communication alone—it affects your sexual connection. Tension, distance, and unresolved emotions can reduce desire and closeness over time.
For Singles
When you are used to conflict-driven or emotionally unstable connections… it can affect your expectations around intimacy and relationships.
Intimacy Tip: Don’t normalize emotional chaos. Choose peace and emotional stability—it protects your future intimacy.
“Follow peace with all men…” — Hebrews 12:14 (KJV)
For Couples
When small fights are frequent and unresolved… they can quietly reduce sexual desire and connection.
Intimacy Tip: Resolve emotional tension early. Peace and emotional safety outside the bedroom fuel intimacy within it.
“Let not the sun go down upon your wrath.” — Ephesians 4:26 (KJV)
Healthy intimacy thrives where there is peace, safety, and emotional connection.
When past pain is not fully healed… it doesn’t stay in the past.
It often shows up quietly—in how you think, how you respond, and how you connect with others.
It’s okay to have been hurt. Pain is real, and healing takes time.
But when emotional baggage is carried forward, it can begin to shape your present and limit your future.
Scripture says:
“Come unto me… and I will give you rest.” — Matthew 11:28 (KJV)
God’s desire is not for you to carry pain—but to walk in freedom and wholeness.
1. When Rejection Is Not Healed
You may become overly guarded or overly dependent.
Solution: Allow God to restore your identity and security.
2. When Past Betrayal Lingers
It can create suspicion, even where there is no threat.
Solution: Learn to trust again—wisely, not blindly.
3. When Unforgiveness Remains
Small issues can trigger deeper reactions.
Solution: Choose forgiveness as a process, not just a one-time act.
4. When Comparison Continues
Past relationships begin to influence present expectations.
Solution: Focus on what God is doing now—not what happened before.
5. When Fear of Abandonment Exists
You may push people away before they get too close.
Solution: Build emotional security rooted in God, not fear.
6. When Shame Is Unresolved
Past mistakes affect confidence and openness.
Solution: Receive God’s forgiveness and walk in a renewed identity.
7. When Trust Is Broken Internally
Opening up feels difficult, even with the right person.
Solution: Take gradual steps toward vulnerability.
8. When Old Pain Is Carried Into New Seasons
It can block what God wants to do next.
Solution: Release the past intentionally.
God’s Healing Process
Acknowledge your pain honestly. Forgive completely for your own freedom. Renew your mind with God’s Word. Invite the Holy Spirit to heal deeply. Set healthy boundaries. Seek godly counsel and accountability. Focus on wholeness in Christ. Trust God’s ability to restore and redeem.
For Singles
Healing prepares you for what you’re praying for.
For Married
Unhealed wounds can create unnecessary distance—but healing can restore connection.
You don’t have to carry yesterday into tomorrow.
Intimacy Tips
When emotional baggage is not healed… it doesn’t just affect your emotions—it affects your sexual life and intimacy. Desire, openness, and connection are all influenced by what is happening within your heart.
For Singles
When past wounds are unhealed… you may struggle with sexual discipline or seek validation through physical connection.
Intimacy Tip: Don’t use sexual attention to heal emotional pain. Let God heal your heart—discipline becomes stronger when you are whole.
“Flee youthful lusts…” — 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
For Couples
When past pain is carried into marriage… it can show up as reduced desire, fear of vulnerability, or difficulty connecting sexually.
Intimacy Tip: Create emotional safety first. When your partner feels safe, intimacy becomes natural and fulfilling.
“The heart of her husband doth safely trust in her…” — Proverbs 31:11 (KJV)
Healthy sexual intimacy flows best from a healed and secure heart.
When intimacy needs are not met… they don’t always create loud conflict.
Sometimes, they show up quietly—as emotional distance, hidden struggles, or silent frustration.
It’s okay to desire closeness. God created intimacy as something good.
But when it is ignored, misunderstood, or mishandled, it can slowly weaken the foundation of a relationship.
Scripture says:
“Defraud ye not one the other…” — 1 Corinthians 7:5 (KJV)
God’s design is not confusion, shame, or struggle—it is purity, connection, and oneness.
1. When Hidden Struggles Go Unchecked
Private battles with lust or pornography weaken spiritual strength.
Solution: Bring struggles into the light. Seek accountability and renewal.
2. When Boundaries Are Gradually Compromised
What starts small can lead to guilt and emotional confusion.
Solution: Set clear boundaries and honour them consistently.
3. When Communication About Intimacy Is Avoided
Silence creates assumptions and frustration.
Solution: Create safe, honest conversations around intimacy.
4. When One Partner Feels Undesired
Rejection—whether intentional or not—affects identity and connection.
Solution: Be intentional about affirmation and reassurance.
5. When Past Experiences Create Shame
Unresolved guilt or fear can block openness.
Solution: Allow God to heal and restore your confidence.
6. When Intimacy Becomes Routine or Pressured
Connection turns into obligation instead of delight.
Solution: Rebuild emotional connection and intentionality.
7. When Comparison Sets In
External influences distort expectations.
Solution: Focus on God’s design, not worldly standards.
8. When Spiritual Connection Weakens
Disconnection from God often reflects in the relationship.
Solution: Strengthen your spiritual foundation together.
God’s Path Forward
Choose purity as a daily decision. Communicate openly and lovingly. Prioritize emotional and spiritual connection. Seek help and accountability. Renew your mind with God’s Word. Embrace God’s design for intimacy.
For Singles
Purity is not punishment—it is preparation.
For Couples
Intimacy is not just physical—it is spiritual, emotional, and intentional.
True intimacy flows best when it is aligned with God’s design.
Intimacy Tips
When intimacy needs are unmet… it can create tension, temptation, or emotional distance. But with understanding and intentionality, it can be restored and strengthened.
For Singles
When sexual desires are ignored without discipline… they can lead to secret struggles or compromise.
Intimacy Tip: Channel your sexual energy into purpose, growth, and spiritual discipline. Don’t feed desire carelessly—train it wisely.
“Flee youthful lusts…” — 2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
For Couples
When intimacy needs are not discussed or met… it can lead to frustration, distance, or temptation.
Intimacy Tip: Talk openly about your sexual needs with love and respect. Healthy communication builds satisfying intimacy.
“Defraud ye not one the other…” — 1 Corinthians 7:5 (KJV)
Healthy intimacy thrives where there is honesty, safety, and intentional connection.
Provision is more than money—it is responsibility, stability, and leadership.
But there are seasons where a man may struggle financially. The real issue is not always lack—it is often mindset, effort, and direction.
This requires wisdom, not pressure or pride.
Scripture says:
“But if any provide not for his own… he hath denied the faith…” — 1 Timothy 5:8 (KJV)
Provision matters—but so does how you respond to the season.
What To Do
1. When He Is Trying But Struggling
There are seasons where effort is present, but results are slow.
Do this: Support, encourage, and observe consistency. Effort combined with a growth mindset reveals potential.
2. When There Is Vision But No Structure
He has ideas, but no clear plan or discipline.
Do this: Encourage structure, accountability, and execution. Vision without structure leads to frustration.
3. When the Season Is Temporary
Job loss, transition, or unexpected challenges can happen.
Do this: Show understanding—but not blindness. Temporary lack should not become permanent complacency.
4. When Communication Is Honest
He is open about his situation and not pretending.
Do this: Value honesty—but still expect responsibility. Transparency is good, but growth must follow.
What Not To Do
5. When There Is No Drive or Responsibility
If he is comfortable being idle or dependent…
Avoid this: Do not excuse laziness as “he’s just going through a phase.” Lack of effort is a red flag.
6. When You Become the Only Provider by Default
If the relationship shifts into imbalance without direction…
Avoid this: Do not carry what he is refusing to carry. Support is different from replacement.
7. When There Are Only Excuses, No Action
Repeated explanations without change…
Avoid this: Do not build a future on promises without proof. Patterns matter more than words.
8. When Respect Begins to Erode
Provision is tied to responsibility, and responsibility affects respect.
Avoid this: Do not ignore the impact it is having on your perception. What you ignore now can grow later.
9. God’s Way: Responsibility, Growth, and Wisdom
Clear Path: Be honest about capacity and expectations. Look for growth, not perfection. Refuse to enable irresponsibility. Trust God—but also apply wisdom.
For Women
Support a man who is growing—but be careful not to carry a man who is unwilling.
For Men
Provision is not pressure—it is purpose. Growth may be gradual, but responsibility must be present.
When you find yourself constantly thinking about someone… imagining conversations, building expectations, and feeling emotionally connected—even though nothing has been clearly defined…
You may be relating more with your imagination than with reality.
This doesn’t mean something is wrong with you. It often comes from a genuine desire for love and connection. But when imagination replaces clarity, it can lead to confusion, disappointment, and unnecessary emotional attachment.
Scripture gives us a powerful tool for this:
“Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.” — 2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
Not every thought reflects truth. Not every feeling reflects reality.
1. When You Build Emotional Attachment Without Clarity
You may feel deeply connected, even though nothing has been established. Your mind creates an entire story around a few interactions, leaving you emotionally invested in something that exists only in your thoughts.
Solution: Stay grounded in what is clearly defined. Let clarity lead your emotions, not assumptions. Refuse to build a future in your mind that has not been agreed upon in reality.
2. When You Overlook Inconsistency
You may notice mixed signals, but explain them away internally with excuses like “maybe they’re just busy” or “they’ll change.”
Solution: Pay attention to patterns, not just moments. Consistent actions reveal truth far more than occasional attention.
3. When Expectations Begin to Form Silently
You may start expecting consistency, replies, or commitment that was never discussed or promised.
Solution: Only expect what has been mutually communicated. Unrealistic silent expectations set you up for resentment and heartbreak.
4. When Emotional Investment Grows Prematurely
Your heart becomes involved before the relationship is defined, making detachment painful later.
Solution: Let your level of investment match the level of clarity. Protect your emotions by pacing them according to reality, not fantasy.
5. When You Feel Hurt Without a Clear Agreement
The pain is real, but the foundation was never established. You grieve something that was never official.
Solution: Guard your heart by slowing down emotional attachment.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
Don’t give away pieces of your heart to undefined situations.
6. When You Remain Focused on One Undefined Connection
You may unintentionally block yourself from healthier, clearer opportunities by mentally occupying space that belongs to reality.
Solution: Stay open to what is real and available. Don’t let a fantasy relationship crowd out genuine possibilities.
7. When Attention Begins to Feel Like Commitment
Simple interactions, likes, or occasional conversations may begin to carry deeper meaning in your mind.
Solution: Learn to distinguish between interest and commitment. Interest is easy; commitment is intentional and consistent.
8. When Imagination Replaces Communication
You assume instead of asking. You fill in the blanks with hopeful scenarios rather than seeking honest answers.
Solution: Choose honest conversations over silent assumptions. Clarity comes through courageous communication, not endless mental rehearsals.
9. God’s Way Is Clarity and Truth
Solution: Release assumptions and bring every thought captive to Christ. Seek clarity through open, honest communication. Stay emotionally disciplined by aligning your feelings with facts. Stay rooted in truth instead of living in “what if” scenarios.
For Singles
When something is not clearly defined, give it time before giving it your heart. Use this season to practice patience and wisdom rather than rushing into emotional attachment.
For Married
Guard your heart against emotional thoughts that can create distance in your marriage. Redirect your imagination and affection toward your spouse and your shared life together.
Clarity protects your heart. Truth keeps you grounded.
When you choose reality over imagination, you position yourself for healthy, God-honoring relationships built on honesty rather than fantasy.
Not all addictions are obvious. Some don’t involve substances—they involve validation. The need to be noticed, admired, desired… can quietly become a dependency. And when attention becomes your source of worth, you will keep seeking it—even at the cost of your values.
Scripture confronts this directly:
“For do I now persuade men, or God? or do I seek to please men? for if I yet pleased men, I should not be the servant of Christ.” — Galatians 1:10 (KJV)
Who you seek validation from will determine how you live—whether you walk in freedom as a servant of Christ or remain chained to fleeting human approval.
1. It Creates a False Sense of Worth
Attention can make you feel valued—but it’s temporary, rising and falling with someone’s mood, interest, or presence. One day you feel on top of the world; the next, invisible and empty. This rollercoaster erodes true confidence because it ties your identity to unpredictable reactions rather than unchanging truth.
Solution: Build your identity in God, not in people’s reactions.
“For we are his workmanship, created in Christ Jesus unto good works, which God hath before ordained that we should walk in them.” — Ephesians 2:10 (KJV)
You are not what others say or how much they notice you. You are chosen, loved, and complete in Christ. Anchor your heart here, and external attention loses its power to define you.
2. It Leads to Compromised Boundaries
To keep the attention flowing, you may tolerate or allow what you shouldn’t—late-night conversations, flirtatious comments, or situations that blur lines. Over time, these small compromises weaken your standards and open wounds.
Solution: Set and enforce clear boundaries. Not all attention is healthy. Learn to say “no” when something feels off, even if it means losing temporary admiration. Healthy boundaries protect your peace and honor God.
3. It Feeds Emotional Dependency
You begin to need constant validation to feel okay. A day without compliments or messages leaves you anxious, irritable, or questioning your value. This dependency turns people into emotional crutches.
Solution: Develop emotional stability and self-control. Through prayer, Scripture meditation, and community with believers, cultivate contentment in God’s presence. His approval is steady and sufficient.
4. It Opens the Door to Temptation
Constant attention increases exposure to wrong connections—subtle flirting that escalates, emotional bonds that cross into dangerous territory, or opportunities that test your integrity.
Solution: Guard your interactions and be intentional about who you entertain.
“Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life.” — Proverbs 4:23 (KJV)
Be selective with conversations and platforms, choosing wisdom over excitement.
5. It Distracts From Purpose
You spend more time curating images, crafting responses, or chasing likes and DMs than investing in your calling, skills, or relationship with God. Destiny waits while validation consumes your hours.
Solution: Refocus on purpose and growth. Don’t trade destiny for validation. Ask God daily to order your steps and align your time with His priorities.
6. It Can Lead to Multiple Attachments
Seeking attention from many people creates confusion, jealousy, and emotional instability. You juggle feelings, comparisons, and unspoken expectations that drain your energy.
Solution: Be disciplined—avoid entertaining multiple emotional connections. Focus your heart on what builds rather than scatters.
7. It Weakens Your Ability to Commit
If you’re used to constant variety and attention, true commitment may feel limiting or boring. The thrill of new validation makes depth seem restrictive.
Solution: Train yourself to value depth over variety. Practice contentment in one relationship—or in singleness—by investing fully rather than scanning for the next hit of admiration.
8. It Is a Heart Issue That Can Become Sin
It may start subtly but can lead to flirting, emotional infidelity, or more. What begins as “harmless” attention can grieve the Holy Spirit and damage your witness.
Solution: Call it what it is and refuse to normalize it. Repent quickly when you notice the pull.
9. God’s Way Is Identity, Contentment, and Discipline
Solution: Repent of unhealthy patterns and ask God for forgiveness and cleansing. Detach from validation-seeking habits by limiting triggers and replacing them with prayer and worship. Build your identity in God through consistent time in His Word. Focus on purpose and growth—serve others, develop gifts, and pursue the assignments God has given you.
For Singles
Attention is not love. Don’t confuse the two. Use this season to root yourself deeply in God so that when the right person comes, you bring wholeness, not hunger.
For Married
Seeking outside validation can damage your marriage—guard your heart. Reaffirm your commitment daily and turn toward your spouse for connection, while finding ultimate fulfillment in Christ.
If you are not secure within, you will keep seeking it from others.
But when your identity is rooted in God, you are no longer controlled by attention.
You become free to love without manipulation, to live without performance, and to walk in the confidence that comes from pleasing Christ alone.
In today’s world, it is becoming more common for women to earn more than their husbands or partners.
For some couples, this is not an issue. For others, it quietly creates tension, insecurity, ego struggles, and even conflict.
Why?
Because money is not just financial—it is emotional, psychological, and deeply tied to identity.
But God’s design for marriage was never built on competition.
Scripture says:
“Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.” — Ephesians 5:21 (KJV)
Marriage is not about who is “greater.” It is about unity, purpose, and alignment.
1. It Can Challenge Identity and Ego
Some men struggle when their sense of worth is tied to being the primary provider. When that shifts, insecurity can creep in if identity is not rooted in God.
2. It Can Create Power Struggles
If not handled well, income differences can turn into control—who decides, who leads, who has the final say.
3. It May Lead to Silent Resentment
Unspoken feelings—whether from the man or the woman—can build tension over time if not addressed.
4. It Tests Respect and Honor
Respect must not be based on income. When money begins to affect how partners treat each other, imbalance sets in.
5. It Can Shift Roles Unhealthily
Instead of working as a team, couples may fall into comparison or competition.
6. It Requires Strong Communication
Conversations about finances, expectations, and roles become even more important in this dynamic.
7. It Demands Emotional Maturity
Both partners must be secure—one not feeling inferior, the other not becoming prideful.
8. It Becomes Sin When Pride, Disrespect, or Control Enters
If the higher earner uses money to dominate, or the other responds with insecurity, resentment, or withdrawal, it violates God’s design for love and unity.
Scripture says:
“Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory…” — Philippians 2:3 (KJV)
Marriage cannot thrive where ego is leading.
9. God’s Way Out Is Unity, Humility, and Purpose Alignment
The focus must shift from “who earns more” to “what are we building together?”
Scripture says:
“And if one prevail against him, two shall withstand him…” — Ecclesiastes 4:12 (KJV)
Marriage is a partnership, not a competition.
For Couples
You are not rivals—you are partners. Money should strengthen your vision, not divide your hearts.
For Singles
Don’t just look for who earns more. Look for someone who understands purpose, humility, and teamwork.
Money can reveal hearts.
But when handled with wisdom, it can also strengthen unity.
