I spoke along this line in church yesterday and I will just admonish us with this, I hope it blesses someone!
The scripture makes it clear as believers, we will face God one day and give an account of our lives, and how we lived on this side of the world.
We are not to live irresponsibly!
We are to conduct our lives and live as though we will give account because we will SURELY give account!
In what areas are we going to give account? Find it below in a simple presentation I used in church yesterday.
These seven areas are what you should pay attention to. It seems to cover every part of our lives. What this means is that we will give an account of all areas of our lives!
Words Spoken
Actions and Deeds
Thoughts and Intentions
How We Use Our Resources
How We Treat Others
Response to God’s Revelation
Our Spiritual Influence on Others
Not just our words, but also our actions and deeds, and even our intentions are going to be examined!
Bringing that to our relationships and marriages, how we relate with our spouses, and our thoughts towards them are all going to be examined, and we will give account.
We all know how emotional affairs begin from the thought realm. Well, we will give an account of our thoughts and intentions!
Heb 4:13 (KJV) Neither is there any creature that is not manifest in his sight: but all things are naked and opened unto the eyes of him with whom we have to do.
With this realization, it is important we love fully and with a focus on our spouses because a day of reckoning is coming.
Who wants to stand before the Lord of Lords and be stammering and be found wanting? Certainly not me. What about you?
Treat your husband well. Treat your wife well. Be nice. Stay faithful. Love with focus. May God help us all.
Connection Between Individual Progress and Marital Success
Growth signifies life. Stagnant water stinks. If you are not growing, you are dying. It is high time we prioritize our individual growth journey if we desire to see growth in our relationships and marriages. Everyone is born a clean slate, naive. As we begin to take our personal growth seriously, we start to develop skills and mature in who we are.
A lot of crises in relationships and marriages are due to knowledge gaps between couples. We don’t have to make any effort to grow chronologically. All we need for such growth is food, all other things being equal. However, the growth that leads to transformational change is not automatic. It requires effort, consistency, and sacrifices.
I told a friend the other day that I wondered what I had been doing all my younger years when I had time. There is so much to learn in every aspect of our lives that it seems 24 hours is not enough. If you are not growing, you cannot be excused. You have to make efforts and plan to grow.
The Bible says in Genesis 2:24:
“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”
There is a leaving, a cleaving, and becoming one flesh. All these processes require learning, unlearning, and relearning. It takes personal growth to know what you are “leaving” to “cleave” to, and you have to know the part you have to play in the process of becoming one flesh.
Your relationship or marriage cannot grow beyond the level of personal growth of the individuals in the relationship or marriage. Ask yourself this question: how many books have I read on relationships? As married couples, what books have you read about the different aspects of marriage?
To succeed in your relationship or marriage, you must take the issue of developing yourself seriously. There are different ways you can learn. You can learn through mentors, through experience, by asking questions, but the most effective and cheapest way to learn is by reading books. Books contain the experiences of others encapsulated in the pages, so you don’t repeat the mistakes they have made in the past.
There are so many aspects of your relationship and marriage that you need to personally grow in for the health of your union to emerge. If you prioritize personal growth, there will be some fights that will be eliminated from your relationship and marriage.
Genesis 1:27 states:
“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”
God created us distinctly different by purpose, on purpose, and for a purpose. If the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable. Our purpose in relationships and marriages has to be discovered through a personal growth journey. Nobody can do that for us. The growth has to be personal; the man has to grow as much as the woman.
Make a quality decision today to prioritize personal growth for the well-being of your relationship and marriage. The more you know, the better for your relationship and marriage. For example, knowing the differences between men and women is fundamental to how you relate to one another. It affects almost every aspect of our relationships and marriages, including communication, decision-making, and understanding yourselves as partners.
I urge you this morning, keep learning and never stop growing.
There is a personal responsibility you have, single or married. That responsibility is that there are certain decisions you must make in your life all by yourself. Your parents can’t make that decision for you. Your fiance can’t do it for you. Not even your spouse can take that responsibility on your behalf.
Take a look at the scripture:
Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
Deliver thyself! The emphasis is explicit enough. You are the one that will deliver yourself from anytime that looks like a trap.
What is the lust that draws you away?
Jas 1:14 (KJV) But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and enticed.
When you identify that list or weakness, the you have identified the power behind the trap of the hunter, and then you can easily deliver yourself.
The Amplified Bible puts it this way:
Jas 1:14 (AMPC) But every person is tempted when he is drawn away, enticed and baited by his own evil desire (lust, passions).
You are always baited by something that is consistent. That is the power behind the trap. The scripture says, deliver yourself!
In other words, don’t put the responsibility on God!
God said this is something you have to do yourself. Make up your mind not to cooperate with the traps of the enemy over your soul.
Don’t live in pretense, and don’t live in denial.
Another translation says you should run!
Pro 6:5 (MSG) Run like a deer from the hunter, fly like a bird from the trapper!
God will not help you to run. You have to do the running away!
You already know the “lust” or the weakness, don’t you?
Run away from it and you would have delivered yourself.
Everywhere was dark. The eerie blackness of the darkness was so real you could almost cut it with a knife. As Betty navigated her way back to the house, the scary moments of horror stories she had read growing up gnawed at her face.
The zombies in the movies crawled behind her. She could hear their footsteps, or so she thought! Fear and trepidation wrapped their fearful arms around her, and she began to shake and fidget as she walked. She stumbled and nearly fell because she could not see anything.
She prayed that the light would be restored. The streetlight had been faulty for over two weeks.
As she strolled on in fear, the light came on! She was elated! Her joy knew no bounds. Immediately, she looked back and saw there was nothing following her! She was happy! The restored light made a lot of difference.
As she strolled on, she remembered the scripture that best explained the moment.
Psa 18:28 (KJV) For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
Wow! What darkness is around your relationship or marriage right now? Are you navigating through the complexities of modern Christian dating, seeking divine guidance in your courtship? God will light your candle!
That scripture uses the phrase “my darkness!” Has there been so much darkness in your relationship that it has become a personal struggle? Perhaps you’re facing challenges in communication, trust, or maintaining spiritual intimacy in your marriage.
Well, I have good news for you. God will enlighten your darkness. “Your darkness” will become “your light!” God will show you ways to reignite the spark in your Christian marriage and show you faith-based advice on balancing love and commitment!
I love the Message Translation.
Psa 18:28 (MSG) Suddenly, GOD, you floodlight my life; I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!
Your life will be floodlighted! You will blaze with God’s glory! Whatever is hidden and shrouded in darkness, there is light in the name of Jesus!
Receive light in your relationship! God will show you the secrets to a happy, godly marriage and the keys to overcoming common relationship issues with biblical wisdom.
Receive light in your finances! God will open your eyes to biblical principles of financial stewardship that will transform your marriage and family life.
Darkness flees away from your life in Jesus’ name! Light becomes your lot in Jesus’ name! It is a promise from God’s word, and that promise will become your reality!
Good morning dear one! So, you’re still flying solo, and it’s awesome. But ever wondered what all those people in married life are experiencing and learning? Well, here is a little insight into what marriage teaches you that might just leave you amazed.
1. Love Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s an Action Movie
Yes, you must have heard about love. And you probably think you know pretty much about the subject… But in marriage, it’s like the action edition packed.
You don’t just say, “I love you” when everything is cool. You show it when things are going real and getting hot!
Ephesians 5:25 talks of loving as Christ loved the Church. That is hard-core, love in action, not when it feels right, but especially when it is painful and you don’t feel like it!
2. Forgiveness: A Compulsory Course You Can’t Carry Over!
Harboring grudges? That is not part of a good habit! Married people learn super quick that forgiveness isn’t just being nice; it’s pretty much a must. Marriage is a union of two forgivers! As it says in Colossians 3:13, forgive as the Lord forgave you. It’s about dropping that baggage and moving forward, together. It’s relieving yourself from emotional prison.
3. Two Heads Are Better Than One
I am not talking about a two-headed monster. Have you ever tried to solve a problem with a friend rather than by yourself? It’s usually quite easier, right? That’s the deal with marriage: you’ve got a partner in crime (the good kind!). Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 nails it. Two can do way more. When one falls, there is somebody to lift him. That is a divine partnership!
4. Not Just The Moment
Marriage makes you think long-term, way past the latest trends, or your Instagram feed. It’s all about building something that lasts. Something of meaning. What married folk get to see, time and time again, are front rows of what matters: love, family, faith, and making a difference. It’s about the big picture, not just the flashy moments.
Marriage has its lessons, and being single comes with its lessons, too. Keep learning all you can learn as singles and couples. Never stop investing in your relationship and marriage! When family life collapses, it affects every other area! Invest in your relationship and marriage today!
I have a message from the Lord for anyone willing to believe in His word. I don’t know who you are or where you are, but you’re about to give up on your marriage. You feel tired and lack the strength to continue. In your relationship, despite God indicating that he or she is the right person for you, things seem to be faltering. Perhaps you’ve heard God’s guidance but are losing faith, wondering when circumstances will improve and when you will transition from scarcity to abundance.
I am here to proclaim God’s word to you: your relationship or marriage is not dead. This echoes the words of Jesus in the book of Luke, chapter 8.
Luke 8:51-53 KJV: [51] And when he came into the house, he allowed no one to enter except Peter, James, John, and the parents of the young girl. [52] Everyone mourned and wept for her, but he said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” [53] And they ridiculed him, knowing she was dead.
In this passage, we see Jesus summoned by Jairus to heal his dying daughter. It’s important to seek God’s presence when facing challenges. When Jesus was en route to Jairus’ home, a servant reported the girl’s death, questioning the need to trouble the Master further.
Yet, Jesus, the giver of life, declared, “Do not weep; she is not dead but sleeping.
The marriage causing you distress is not dead but sleeping, according to Jesus. He defines any situation as He sees fit. I do not advocate for separation or divorce, though it may be the best solution in some cases where the partners are unwilling to make the marriage work.
Jesus asserts that your marriage or relationship is not dead. Do not label as dead what Jesus calls sleeping. I recall a time when my fiance (now my husband) and I experienced a brief separation lasting about two hours due to an unresolved argument. He suggested we part ways, and we did, losing our peace in the process. However, we couldn’t end our relationship because Jesus declared, “Your relationship is not dead but sleeping.” Indeed, our relationship did not die; it merely slept for a few hours.
Jesus can intervene in your relationship and marriage. Trust in Him and His word, and you will testify that nothing perishes in Jesus’ hands.
Singles: Once a condition is attached, there is a problem already. Let me give you examples.
If you love me, you will offer me your body. Well, the reality is that you are not married, and you are not supposed to be doing that. You can speak grammar, you can argue it, you can defend yourself, you can pacify your conscience, but what is wrong is wrong! Pre-marital sex is wrong! Period! God does not approve it and getting into that clime will ensure God´s favor is lost! That will not be your portion!
A lot of singles who are after money will do everything including compromising their relationship integrity, well that will no longer be love! We all know that God Himself is love! Once God is not involved, it wouldn’t be love any longer.
Additionally, anybody who doesn’t know God, and doesn’t obey God will not be able to love you the right way!
Couples: We are to love our spouses unconditionally! It´s called agape love, the kind of love with which God loves us. It’s a love without conditions. Imagine if God were to love us with conditions, we certainly would not survive that arrangement. Instead, the scripture tells us he died for us while we are yet sinners.
Rom 5:8 (KJV) But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
If you love your spouse with conditions, that marriage might not survive! That is the plain truth.
As couples, you have to love without retaliations, expectations, and reservations.
This involves operating in quick forgiveness. Somebody said and I believe that a great union is one of two quick forgivers.
Let go of that animosity and bickering and love one another the way God wants it. That way, you can be sure of God’s blessings and favor over yourselves, your family, and home.
This month, soar with love and by love! Refuse to be domiciled to the creek of bitterness and acrimony! Let love rule in your relationships and marriage!
In this kingdom and clime, we soar with love. We do not allow the weight of offenses to keep us down nor do we allow the slime of unforgiveness to stain our dignity in God!
We rule this month! We gain ascent this month to the region of perpetual victory and unending praise!
My wife and I have zero strife! It wasn’t always like that, but we soared and ascended with the help of the Holy Spirit!
And guess what, lots of space and liberty here! Join us on this trip, it´s bliss!
Rom 5:5 (KJV) And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
The words above filtered into my spirit this morning as I waited on God for a word for us for this month!
No shame because of His love! This love can be shed in our hearts!
I love other translations.
Rom 5:5 (MSG) In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
This month you will not be left shortchanged! God will pour beautiful and glorious things into your life this month!
Look at Amplified version.
Rom 5:5 (AMPC) Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Wow!
This month, you will not be disappointed!
You will not be deluded!
You will not be ashamed!
Why?
God´s love has been poured into our Hearts!
I pray for you, may you experience that love in all its fullness in Jesus’ name!
We had a Master Class for Singles and Couples Yesterday! Did you miss it? Not to worry! You can watch it HERE or simply check below the page.
We learned yesterday about the Pain Paradox, which is similar in principle to ‘Delayed Gratification.’ The Pain Paradox states that the short-term easy leads to the long-term difficult, while the short-term difficult leads to the long-term easy. We ‘pay’ now and ‘play later,’ or we ‘play now’ and ‘pay later.’
I started on this topic yesterday, and we examined five areas where we need to apply the principle of the pain paradox as singles and married couples.
We looked at:
1. Our Spiritual Lives
As singles and married individuals, we need to prioritize our spiritual lives. Developing intimacy with God requires time. So, spend a few minutes every day to enjoy bliss in your life, marriage, or relationship.
2. Our Finances
Money matters a lot in relationships and marriages. Make investments and reap the dividends later. As singles, don’t squander your future trying to impress your significant other. As married individuals, be wise and delay gratification.
Today, we will be looking at:
3. Our Emotional Life
Everyone has emotions, which are what make us behave the way we do. There are negative emotions that we need to eliminate from our lives. These negative emotions can prevent us from experiencing joy and harmony in our relationships and marriages.
When we know we have certain bad habits, it is crucial for us to find books that address such tendencies. It is foolish to continue living in a way that causes our loved ones pain, saying ‘that is who I am.’ The responsibility is ours to make necessary adjustments.
4. Our Physical Life
More specifically, our health. We need to take care of our bodies. Our bodies house the spirit of the Lord. They house our gifts, talents, destinies, and everything good about us. God gave us our bodies as a jacket or suit to enable us to function and live on this earth. Once this ‘jacket’ wears out, death is inevitable.
Please be mindful of what you eat. You are what you eat. Don’t dig your grave with your teeth by consuming unhealthy foods. What you eat also affects you. Ignorance is not an excuse; educate yourself about your diet.
Ladies, the kitchen is your domain; help your husband and children stay healthy. Don’t contribute to your husband’s health decline. Wives, be cautious about preparing heavy meals like pounded yam and egusi at 11 pm. Consuming too much beef is harmful.
Whether you are single or married, take your health seriously. Know your health status. Monitor your blood pressure, check your kidneys, undergo a liver function test, and check your cholesterol level. Do a health check-up. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
Take care of your body, what you do to it, and what you do with it.
5. Our Family
For singles, you belong to a family before you start your own. Invest your best into your family. Don’t cause your mother sleepless nights and heartache. Uphold the family name. Be a good child to your parents. Make them proud. Let every remembrance of you be a cause for thanksgiving.
As a married couple, raise your children in the ways of the Lord, and when they are old, they will not stray from it. Unite your family members in love. Be under the grace of God, and He will show you mercy in Jesus’ mighty name.
This discusses delayed gratification, where you ‘pay’ now and ‘gain’ later as opposed to ‘gaining’ now to ‘pay’ later. This paradox is noteworthy, and we need to take note of it. It is always better to ‘pay’ now and ‘play’ later in our relationships and marriages.
I want to discuss 5 things this morning that we need to do now in our relationships and marriages that will yield great dividends for us later on. We must learn as individuals and as couples to delay gratification. One of the marks of maturity is when we learn to delay gratification.
Tonight is MASTERCLASS with singles and couples! Don’t miss it. Find details below. Invite others, and see the links to our Whatsapp groups below the page!
As Singles, engaging in premarital sex is tantamount to not knowing how to delay gratification. It’s better to invest a few years in getting to know yourselves before marriage and then spend all of your married lives enjoying sex together.
As a couple, we need to learn how to delay gratification when we feel like having an anger outburst or when we feel the need to express our emotions intensely. God doesn’t want us to yield to our flesh every time. He wants us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. He wants the Holy Spirit to govern our moods, feelings, and actions. We are not to engage in tit for tat in our relationships and marriages.
Let’s now explore 5 areas where we can apply the Pain Paradox in our relationships and marriages.
Our spiritual life: From the time of finding the right person to marrying to living out our married life blissfully, we need to embrace the principle of the Pain Paradox. It makes a lot of sense if we take time out to discern God’s perfect will for us before entering into marriage.
We save ourselves a lot of heartache when we are sure we are on the same page with God on our marital journey. We can always turn to God for direction and guidance whenever we are in a dilemma. As married couples, it’s highly beneficial to prioritize walking with God because marriage cannot thrive outside of God.
Spend time getting to know and following God now, rather than using that time to pursue frivolities. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Learn His principles now for your marriage, and you won’t have to deal with the pain of ignorance later. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. Sow now and reap later. Don’t sow now, and you won’t have anything to reap later.
Our Financial life: Finances are one of the greatest tools in relationships and marriage. The Bible says money answers all things. We need to plan our finances well. As Singles, you need to be financially intelligent. Don’t spend your hard-earned money proposing with a diamond ring when you are not even sure if she will eventually marry you.
Am I against a beautiful proposal? No. What I am saying is, can you afford such expenses when you don’t have any good investments? As couples, don’t live beyond your means. Going to fancy restaurants all the time when you can cook at home is not too wise.
Live by a budget. Let your finances be budgeted. Invest for a rainy day. Buy land or real estate. Invest now to reap the benefits later.
I will stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
I particularly love this piece of advice. It is one of the classic words in Proverbs that remains evergreen for all men and women from all walks of life and for every young person. It is one of the Bible verses taught in most children’s churches so that we can learn early to trust in the Lord. God must be trusted; that’s why He is Lord.
Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had it all figured out, only to be disappointed by the eventual outcome?
In relationships and our marriages, God’s word tells us not to lean on our own understanding. God knows that we have understanding, but we are not to depend on it. Let’s consider Proverbs 3:5:
Proverbs 3:5 GW [5] Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.
We are to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. That means it’s very possible not to trust in the Lord. It’s also possible to trust God with only part of our heart.
As singles, stop all the calculations. One plus one does not always equal two. God doesn’t want us to be disappointed every time before we learn to trust Him.
God is calling us to a beautiful relationship with Him. In choosing whom to marry, God wants to take the lead. Even when you are sure the person will agree to your proposal, God wants you to enjoy the pleasure of trusting Him. He wants to carry you until the process is completed. He wants to be your Daddy.
As married couples, this Bible verse becomes even more relevant. Several times, I have fallen flat on my face when I relied on my understanding with my husband. Sometimes, I predicted my husband’s reactions only to be disappointed. I have learned and am still learning to trust the Lord with all my heart and not rely on my understanding.
There are so many areas of my life where I can begin to practice trusting in the Lord. You too can begin to apply this Bible verse, whether when it comes to shopping for your household, childcare, your day-to-day activities at work, your decisions, your business, or your relationship with your spouse. You can’t rely on your understanding in dealing with your spouse because usually, we differ in temperament.
Our lives will become much easier when we learn in little things and big things to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not rely on our understanding.
A man or woman has so many areas of life, so many ‘ways’ if I may use that word. Are we going to talk about career, finance, marital life, academics, work, business, spirituality, emotions, and so on? There are so many ways!
How does one bring all these ways together? How does one ask God to take charge of all these ways especially relationship and marital aspects?
It is evident in the Holy Writ! Let’s take a look!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
In all your WAYS, ACKNOWLEDGE Him! The consequence of that is that He will direct all your paths!
Do you acknowledge God in all your ways? If you do, sit back and relax, He will unleash a system of divine direction for you and you will never be lost in the maze of life! You will never have to grope in the dark, murky path of marital endeavor as a result of experimenting with several lovers!
Let’s consider some other translations to bring more clarity.
Pro 3:6 (MSG) Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Wow! I love this one. Watch out for His voice in EVERYTHING you do and EVERYWHERE you go, and He is committed to keeping you on track!
You will not miss your track!
You know what I see here? God doesn’t want to be ignored!
How do you acknowledge God? Talk to Him about everything you do.
The height of foolishness is ignoring God! The Bible says expressly that;
Psa 14:1a (KJV) The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God…
One definition of a foolish man; he does His things as though there is no God!
Conversely, you will have the wisdom to rule in the affairs of this world when you learn to ACKNOWLEDGE God in ALL YOUR WAYS!
Debunking Common Marriage Myths and Misconceptions
Marriage is a beautiful journey that brings two individuals together in love, commitment, and companionship. However, it’s not strange for various myths and misconceptions to obscure people’s perceptions of what a successful marriage entails. In this devotional, we will debunk some of the most prevalent marriage myths and shed light on the realities of married life.
Myth: We will be happy forever Many individuals grow up with the false notion that marriage guarantees a lifetime of bliss, happiness, and endless enjoyment. While marriage can indeed bring joy, it’s important to note that challenges and ups and downs are also a part of the journey. Realistic expectations and effective communication are vital in navigating the complexities of married life. Marriage only works for those who work it!
Myth: Once we love ourselves, we are good! Love is undoubtedly important in a marriage, but it’s not the only ingredient for a thriving partnership. Marriage requires commitment, compromise, mutual respect, and ongoing effort from both partners. It requires a lot of prayers and patience! Synergizing your values, trust, and understanding is essential for lasting marital success.
Myth: Incessant Quarrels translate to a failed marriage The reality is that conflict is not necessarily a negative aspect of a marriage. Healthy disagreements can lead to growth, understanding, and deeper emotional connections. It’s how couples handle and resolve conflicts that truly matters. When a couple understands themselves, and is sacrificial, they will stay together for long and have a successful marriage.
Myth: Marriage will make me to be fulfilled A common misconception is that marriage will fill the emptiness in our lives and make us whole. While marriage can bring happiness and fulfillment, it’s important to have a sense of self-worth, good self-esteem, personal goals, and interests outside the relationship. Each partner should maintain their individuality while nurturing marital unity.
Myth: Marriage is easy once you are in love Marriage requires continuous effort, adjustment, and adaptability. It’s unrealistic to expect a smooth sailing journey without any challenges. Couples should be prepared to navigate through life puzzles and be willing to grow together, learning from each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The commitment to work through difficulties can lead to a deeper and more resilient relationship.
Gen 2:18 (AMPC+) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
Conclusion: By debunking these marriage myths and misconceptions, we can approach married life with a more realistic and pragmatic position. Understanding that marriage requires effort, compromise, and acceptance of imperfections can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership.
Remember, a successful marriage is built on love, respect, communication, and synergy from the couple.
I hope this devotional helps you in addressing marriage myths and enlightening your readers. If you need any further assistance or have any specific requests, feel free to let me know in the comment section!
For singles and couples, the issue of financial compatibility will always come to the fore because finances are an essential part of love life. The reality is that when financial issues are out of the way, more than fifty percent of the problems are solved.
Financial compatibility is important because it is dangerous to marry someone whose financial principles and practices are polarized to you. This doesn’t mean you are financial experts but what it means is that you should be on the same page so that you can synergize together.
Here Are Conversations You Should Have
1. Financial History: What has been the financial history? How has your potential spouse been handling finances? As newly married, you will immediately notice that your partner’s financial habit before the wedding prevails within your home. It is good to have these conversations!
2. Budgeting Together: Have you discussed budgeting, planning, and spending? What amount goes for which? What are the priorities? As engaged or newly married couples, are you on the same page? Do you consult one another before major spending?
3. Financial Goals: What are the plans? This should be discussed! When are you going to start developing your property? What kind of school are the children going to? What kind of income streams are in the pipeline?
4. Debts and Savings: Are there debts before the wedding? Light or huge debt? Are there serious and chronic debt habit that needs attention and counseling? You cannot close your eyes to all these indications. As a newlywed, are you servicing debt with all your income like in Nigeria? Lol…
5. Crisis Management: What are the financial plans in place in emergencies? What are the options? Have you decided that you will never use a loan to take care of another debt? What are the immediate plans to stop addictions from constantly patronizing loan apps?
These and more conversations will help you when it comes to finances and your love life.
Dear singles and couples, let’s have a heart-to-heart talk about something that really matters – finding your purpose, not just in life, but in the realms of before and after you say “I do.” Whether you’re single, engaged, or already hooked, understanding your purpose is like having a compass that guides you through the stormy and sunny days of life.
Before Marriage: Discovering Yourself
1. Discover Yourself: Before you can share your life with someone, it’s crucial to know who you are. What lights your fire? What are your passions, values, and dreams? This isn’t just about career or hobbies; it’s about understanding your core. Why are you here? What is your purpose?
2. Build Your Relationship with God: Your faith isn’t just a part of your life; it’s the lens through which you see the world. Strengthening your relationship with God helps clarify your purpose and aligns your path with His plans. He created young so the template of your life is with Him.
3. Serve Others: Service isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s a way to discover aspects of yourself and your purpose. Whether it’s volunteering at church or helping out in the community, service expands your heart and your understanding of where you fit in this world. When you serve, He said he will bless your bread and water!
After Marriage: Growing Together
1. Unite Your Dreams: Now that you’re a team, it’s time to align your purposes. This doesn’t mean giving up your individual dreams but finding ways they can complement and support each other. Be on the same page in your respective areas of specialization. Allow two chasing ten thousand rather than as individuals chasing a thousands each.
2. What’s Your Vision?: What do you want your marriage to stand for? Together, create a vision that includes not just your goals as a couple but also how you want to contribute to the world around you. Create a vision board for your family and that will help you keep focus.
3. Keep God at the Center: As you navigate married life, keeping your faith central can help you face challenges and make decisions that honor your shared purpose. Need stop reading and studying your Bible! Pray in the Spirit a lot and allow God to build your family for you!
Remember, finding and fulfilling your purpose is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing, learning, and adapting, whether you’re single, engaged, or married.
So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s plan, and embark on this beautiful adventure of discovering and living out your purpose.
Nothing grows romantic love like being quick to forgive. When we see that we are drifting away from our sweet spot, forgiveness does the magic. Notwithstanding who is at fault. Just taking the initiative to say ‘I’m sorry’ first does the trick. It is maturity. Say sorry first, and you win.
Whenever you swallow your pride for the sake of growing your romantic love, you win.
As singles, forgiveness is a constant in a relationship. Practice and learn forgiving the one you love. Don’t count scores. Your flesh will want to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat. Learn to be more like Christ. Let your romantic love grow to be more patient and kind, gentle, not boastful, not envious.
In marriage, the Lord warns us never to allow strife.
I think it is in marriage that most offense happens. Your spouse will step on your toes and still justify their actions.
Opposites truly attract, but with time, they begin to repel. Don’t let animosity fester. Apologize when your spouse is angry at you. Little things may anger your spouse; don’t rationalize, don’t be logical about how or why he/she should be angry, just apologize.
An apology is not about who is wrong but about having feelings for the one who is pained.
5. Appreciation
These two words, ‘thank you,’ grow your romantic love towards each other. It shows your sensitivity to the needs of your partner to be appreciated.
As singles, never take your partner for granted. This understanding is very necessary if you want your romantic love to grow in a healthy way and not be stunted.
Remember that it is a privilege for your partner to be nice, kind, good, forgiving, hardworking, thoughtful, neat, punctual, and the list of good virtues and qualities goes on and on.
Appreciate whatever good you see and recognize in your partner. When it comes to looking at their good qualities, look at it with a magnifying lens. Don’t let their good deeds be little in your eyes.
Remember, whatever you appreciate, appreciates. Whatever you don’t appreciate, depreciates.
As couples, make appreciation a big deal. Celebrate your spouse for the simplest things. Never take them for granted.
