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Finding Clarity in Love: Pastor Dunamis’s Counsel on Relationship Doubts


In the heart of a village, under the shade of the great Baobab tree, lived a young maiden named Tola. Her love story with Jude, a strong and kind-hearted warrior, was the talk of the village. They eagerly anticipated their union under the blessings of the elders and ancestors. However, Tola was plagued by doubts, stemming from her sisters’ failed marriages and her mother’s constant reminders of these misfortunes. Seeking guidance, Tola turns to Pastor Dunamis, a wise elder renowned for his understanding of the heart and spirit.

The Root of Tola’s Doubts

Tola’s doubts were not baseless. She had two sisters—Dami, and Bisi—whose marriages had all ended disastrously. Dami’s husband left her for another woman, and Bisi’s ended in sorrowful separation. These experiences cast a long shadow over Tola, making her question if her love with Jude would suffer a similar fate. To complicate matters, Tola’s mother, constantly reminded her of her sisters’ failures, intensifying her fears.

Jude’s Frustration

While Tola wrestled with her doubts, Jude grew increasingly frustrated. He cherished Tola deeply and was eager to start their life together. However, her indecision troubled him. Jude’s sister, Adaku, tried to ease his worries by discreetly suggesting another young woman in the village. This only added to Jude’s confusion. Moreover, his parents pressured him to marry and continue the family lineage, adding to his impatience and worry about Tola’s commitment.

Seeking Pastor Dunamis’s Counsel

Tola decided to seek counsel from Pastor Dunamis, a wise elder, married for many years and had seen many seasons and understood the complexities of the heart. Pastor Dunamis shared his insights gained from a lifetime of experiences, guiding others with the depth of his marital and spiritual understanding. When Tola expressed her fears, Pastor Dunamis listened intently and offered his insights.

Understanding Doubts in Relationships

Pastor Dunamis explained that doubts are like shadows that dance with the flames, capable of creeping into any relationship. He outlined several instances when doubts arise:

1. Lack of Blessings: When a relationship is not blessed by the Almighty, doubts can emerge.

2. Unrealistic Expectations: When expectations for marriage are unrealistic, reality can lead to doubts.

3. Dishonoring Sacred Bonds: Violating sacred bonds with dishonorable acts can lead to confusion and doubts.

4. Twisted Views: A distorted view of life and marriage can cloud judgment.

5. Lack of Spiritual Guidance: Entering a relationship without seeking spiritual guidance can cause doubts.

6. External Reliance: Relying solely on seers and diviners without inner conviction can lead to instability.

clarity in love

7. Escaping Past Pains: Using a relationship to escape past pains can introduce doubts.

8. Opposition from Elders: Facing opposition from authority figures can cause doubts.

9. Great Challenges: Encountering significant challenges without proper navigation can lead to doubts.

Can Doubts Be Completely Eliminated?

A young villager named Kenneth asked if doubts could be completely eliminated. Pastor Dunamis responded that doubts are a natural part of life, much like the ebb and flow of a river. It is how one handles these doubts that matters. He emphasized seeking guidance, listening to the whispers of the Almighty, and maintaining an open heart.

Handling Doubts in Marriage

Also, a married couple, sought advice on dealing with doubts that had crept into their ten-year marriage. Pastor Dunamis advised them to lean on each other, seek spiritual guidance together, and remember their vows. He explained that facing storms together strengthens the bond and helps overcome challenges.

Guarding Against Doubts

Pastor Dunamis advised never to take a step without knowing it is the path set by the Almighty. When doubts arise, stand firm, knowing they are tests to strengthen resolve. He emphasized taking time, listening to the wisdom of elders, and regularly reading ancient stories for stability and wisdom.

Handling Existing Doubts

For those already experiencing doubts, Pastor Dunamis recommended seeking confirmation from the Almighty, spending time in meditation and prayer, and fasting to quiet the mind. He advised staying away from actions that dishonor the Almighty, seeking forgiveness if one has strayed, and realigning with sacred ways. For married couples, he urged them not to rush into separation but to seek guidance and overcome challenges together.

Finding Peace in Decisions

Pastor Dunamis concluded by emphasizing that decisions blessed by the Almighty bring an unexplainable peace that reassures the soul, despite uncertainties. If this peace is absent, it is a sign to pause, reflect, and realign with divine guidance.

Tola’s Realization

With Pastor Dunamis’s wisdom resonating within her, Tola felt a profound sense of clarity and renewed hope. She realized that her sisters’ misfortunes did not have to dictate her future. Embracing spiritual guidance, wise counsel, and patience, she decided to navigate through her uncertainties. Tola recognized that her mother’s fears were not her destiny. Instead, she resolved to forge her unique path with Jude, guided by their shared love and the wisdom of Pastor Dunamis and the Almighty.


Tola’s journey teaches that doubts are natural but can be managed with spiritual guidance, wise counsel, and inner conviction. By seeking clarity and embracing patience, individuals can navigate the complexities of relationships and make decisions that lead to lasting happiness and stability.