Let’s talk about a marriage that’s dancing on the edge – a tango of revenge and retaliation. It’s a twisted tale where love and respect take a backseat, making room for a toxic brew of fear and animosity.
In this scenario, couples aren’t motivated by love or mutual respect; it’s the fear of being crushed that drives their behavior. It’s a roller-coaster of bitterness, hurt, strife, and a cocktail of justifiable evils.
Emotional Chaos Unleashed
Here, emotional tantrums are not just tolerated; they’re practically encouraged. Outbursts of anger are the norm, creating a battleground within the supposed sanctuary of marriage.
The Unbalanced Power Play
Picture this: the man demands reverence and the woman? Well, she better worship him, or life becomes a living nightmare. Love, agreement, and cooperation – all held hostage by the looming threat of punishment.
Love Withdrawal Tactics
Trouble arises when love becomes a bargaining chip. The woman, in a bid to retaliate, withholds love, intimacy, agreement, cooperation, and goodwill. It’s a silent but potent form of punishment, casting a dark cloud over the relationship.
A Cycle of Retribution
What follows is a dangerous tit-for-tat game. The man, feeling the sting of emotional and sexual starvation, retaliates by flexing his authority as the man of the house. It’s a never-ending cycle, a destructive loop of retaliation.
The Silent Sufferers
But guess who bears the brunt of this vengeful waltz? Both the man and the woman suffer the consequences. As the Yoruba proverb wisely puts it, “When it is uneasy for the rope, it equally becomes uneasy for the bird.”
A Marriage in Flames
In the heat of this retaliation, the marriage becomes an unbearable inferno for both parties. The burning question: If we make this marriage work, is it for our own good or to save face?
The Bed We Make
Reflect on this – the way you lay your bed determines how you lie on it. If you roughen the sheets, don’t expect a restful night. But invest in your marriage, work on it, and you’ll reap the sweet dividends.
A Call to Change
If you choose the path of reacting to every provocation, insisting only your viewpoint matters, you’re in for a turbulent ride.
Decide to do it God’s way! Don’t be vengeful! Forgive easily and avoid marital retaliation! Good morning!
Gentlemen, buckle up because we’re about to dive into the heart of every woman’s secret desire. Picture this: a marriage counselor spills the beans that, for the ladies, hearing “I love you” is like getting a surprise bouquet on a random Tuesday.
One woman, frustrated with her love-deprived relationship, voiced her concerns. But, oh boy, did her husband take it to the next level! He hit the recording studio, creating a love symphony, a 70-minute ballad of “I love yous.” A CD was born, a declaration of affection on repeat.
Proudly presenting it to his wife, he said, “My pepperento potatoe,” play this anytime you need my dulcet tones.” And then, like a tragic romance novel twist, she shattered it and sent it airborne. The lesson here? A CD can’t replace the real deal.
Dear husbands, take note. Compliments from others should never outshine your love notes at home. Especially after childbirth and as the midlife roller coaster hits, your wife needs your affirmations more than ever. Mirrors might be close, but your words should be closer.
2. Hand in Hand, Heart in Heart at Church
Let’s talk about spiritual unity, where the bond is as unbreakable as a hymn sung together. As the head, you’re not just the CEO of your family but also the spiritual guide. Forget the separate pew routine; attend church, grow, study, and pray together for heaven’s sake.
It’s not just a Sunday thing; it’s a build-a-strong-marriage thing. Your responsibility? Spiritual leadership and direction. This isn’t about denominations; it’s about creating a sanctuary within your marriage.
3. Love, Don’t Lift Your Hands
Now, gentlemen, a crucial piece of advice: Never, and I mean never, raise your hands against your wife. This isn’t a suggestion; it’s a commandment in the Book of Marriage Wisdom.
“Yeah, but my wife is like a whirlwind of stubbornness, rudeness, and annoyance!” I hear you. But let me be crystal clear—violence is not the answer.
In the sacred scripture of 1 Peter 3:7, it’s written: “Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife…” Make a sacred vow, a covenant, that you’ll never harm her.
Commit to honoring, protecting, and cherishing her. As you do, watch God weave wonders into your marriage. May His blessings rain down on you, turning your love story into an epic tale of honor and fulfillment.
Love Beyond Emotions: The Power of Guiding Principles
Let’s pick up from where we left off yesterday, delving into a crucial aspect of successful marriages.
7. The Nexus of Love and Principles
In the realm of matrimony, love is not an isolated entity; it’s intricately woven with principles. Contrary to the notion that emotional feelings suffice, it’s essential to recognize the distinction between love and fleeting emotions.
Love lacks a substantial foundation without principles. It is these guiding principles that provide the bedrock for a lasting and resilient love. In the tumultuous storms that inevitably hit every marriage, principles become the anchor, ensuring survival.
Life, with its unpredictable twists, affects us all. Drawing inspiration from the biblical perspective, we are declared more than conquerors through Christ. The battles will come, but adherence to principles becomes the pathway to victory.
8. Marriage: A Spiritual Commitment
Some erroneously perceive marriage solely through the lens of emotions. However, it extends far beyond mere emotionalism.
Assuming all is well because of external factors; job security, good health, and a comfortable life, can lead to complacency. Personal experience underscores the danger of becoming lax when everything seems smooth.
Marriage is inherently spiritual before it manifests in the physical realm. An essential prerequisite for a successful union is a willingness to embrace a serious relationship with God.
Every man is the priest of his family. It goes beyond superficial gestures; leadership entails leading the family towards spiritual growth. Both partners must actively participate in studying God’s word, prayer, fasting, tithing, and other covenant practices.
9. Spiritual Unity
True leadership involves more than romantic gestures. Men are called to lead their families to God, speaking in authority over their wives and children.
Reject the notion that only one partner needs to be spiritual. Both parties must be committed prayer warriors, believers in the Bible, and actively engage in spiritual disciplines.
In conclusion, the journey of a successful marriage requires a fusion of love and principles, transcending mere emotional bonds.
May this insight grant you a deeper understanding as you navigate the intricate path of matrimony.
Embarking on the journey of marriage demands careful consideration and preparation to ensure a smooth and joyful experience. Just as travelers aim to travel light, couples should shed any unnecessary baggage that could hinder their marital voyage. This article explores three key areas that individuals should address before saying ‘I do,’ emphasizing the importance of a solid foundation for a blissful marriage.
1. Shedding the Weight of Laziness
Marriage is a venture for the mature – spiritually, mentally, and physically. The vitality and ability to work play a crucial role in maintaining a healthy marriage. For wives, managing the household involves substantial effort, and laziness can detrimentally impact the family dynamic.
The ability to cook, for instance, is not just a skill but a responsibility that, when neglected, can expose a husband to external influences. Even with assistance, wives should not completely delegate their responsibilities, as multitasking becomes essential when children enter the picture.
Husbands, too, must embrace hard work to sustain the family. Poverty often plagues families when the husband lacks motivation, is complacent, or fails to set and achieve goals. Before entering into marriage, individuals must relinquish lazy tendencies and commit to being proactive contributors to their family’s well-being.
Marriage necessitates a departure from certain single lifestyle habits. Late nights and prolonged socializing with friends are examples of behaviors that should be left behind. Successfully merging two lives requires a willingness to let go of the old to embrace the new.
Some individuals mistakenly attempt to maintain a bachelor or spinster lifestyle while enjoying the benefits of marriage. For instance, a wife accustomed to simple meals like cornflakes and noodles may need to adapt to prepare more elaborate dishes when her husband desires a higher culinary standard. Compromise is essential, especially when both partners have hectic work schedules.
3. Embracing Responsibility
Responsibility is the cornerstone of a successful marriage. The commitment extends beyond personal desires to encompass the well-being of the spouse and family. Married individuals carry the weight of their family’s concerns in all aspects of life, influencing decisions and actions.
Married life demands a responsible approach, and societal expectations reflect this. Dressing inappropriately, for instance, contradicts the expected behavior of a married person. Travel decisions, too, must be made with consideration for the impact on the family. Being responsible in various aspects of life contributes to a harmonious and fulfilling marital journey.
In conclusion, a successful marriage requires intentional efforts to address crucial aspects before taking the plunge. By shedding laziness, transitioning from singlehood, and embracing responsibility, couples can build a strong foundation for a lifelong partnership. This ensures a journey filled with patience, understanding, and the shared goal of a blissful and enduring marriage.
Reproach comes at different times and different seasons.
I want to show you a scripture I discovered this morning and this will surely bless you a great deal.
What do you do when you are being reproached? What should be your line of action when people are laughing at you? It is one thing for people to laugh at you behind you and you are unaware, but it’s a different ball game when people reproach you to your very face and talk in a demeaning way about you and your God.
Psa 119:41-42 (KJV). Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. [42] So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word.
How I so much love this scripture!
Let me paraphrase! Let your mercy come to me so that mercy can respond to those who reproach me!
Wow!
God is saying that the panacea to that reproach in your life is mercy!
Reproach as a single or even as a couple, you don’t even need to respond to them! What will respond is mercy!
Take a look at the Message Translation:
Psa 119:41-42 (MSG) Let your love, GOD, shape my life with salvation, exactly as you promised; [42] Then I’ll be able to stand up to mockery because I trusted your Word.
You don’t need to respond to reproach or mockery all by yourself!
What will respond with a blessing, a miracle, an incredible result is Mercy!
Ask for God’s mercy this morning!
And keep asking every day and every time.
It’s one prayer you should not stop praying all your life!
Mercy!
God’s mercy will speak for you today and answer every point of reproach and mockery in your life in Jesus’ name!
