Secrets To Keep Love Alive

Secrets To Keep Love Alive

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Secrets To Keep Love Alive. It’s beautiful seeing newly wedded couples. The love spark is impressive. 

There is a love wave, love current, and all the love vibes around them. They set out to profess their eternal love for each other. 

They are deeply in love and could never imagine hurting each other not to talk of harming themselves whether emotionally or verbally.

The question is what happened? At what point did they start to deviate from the love zone? 

Really, no husband or wife starts out overnight from being loving to being rash, unkind, abusive, and insensitive.

There must have been little actions or in-actions here and there, that crept into their love affair. 

The Bible talks about little foxes that destroy the vine, the tender vine. 

Our marriages are like these vines that are very tender. Little foxes are like poisons slowly released that will eventually destroy the marriage. We, therefore, need to place close attention so that we don’t allow these foxes.

Here are three things not to do if you want to keep love alive in marriage.

Secrets To Keep Love Alive

1. Don’t blame

‘It’s his fault

‘She is very disrespectful’

‘He’s not kind and loving’

She’s lazy and overly sensitive

‘He’s always hurting’

Stop the blame game. You have a choice, either you keep blaming and remain hurt, bitter, and full of regret, and revengeful. 

When you keep on blaming the other person you focus on their negatives. 

You become blind to their positive sides and you put him/ her on edge.

Remember, when you were in love, it was because you were blind to their negatives and only focused on how good, handsome & lovely they were.

Do the same now. Blaming your spouse continuously is poisonous.

I am not asking you to keep completely silent on your spouse’s weakness but rather confront each other respectfully and lovingly. 

Remember you have your own faults too. Forgiveness and mercy are reciprocal in marriage. 

Secrets To Keep Love Alive

2. Don’t Compare

The grass always seems greener on the other side. Never fall for the comparison trap. 

Don’t compare other couples or marriages with your own. 

Yes, you can learn from them but never compare. 

The truth is you never know that other husband or wife.

Every good marriage you admire sacrificed on their path to get to where they are now.

So rather than compare and blame your spouse for not being like husband A, work on your own marriage, pay your own price, and make your own sacrifices.

Secrets To Keep Love Alive

3. Don’t withdraw

The withdrawal syndrome is one thing that destroys a marriage fast. 

It’s a temporary shield you build around yourself to avoid confronting and dealing with issues. 

Don’t withdraw into work, yourself, your passion, activity, church project, children, porn, friends, outings, or keeping late nights.

When you hide in withdrawal, you have created a vacuum for the devil to fill in your home.

You need to understand each other’s temperament and know how to lovingly respect each other’s differences. 

Extroverts and introverts are very different and handle issues differently.

Give each other space. Allow your spouse to grow without nagging them. 

Be patient with your demands. Don’t expect your wife to change overnight. Let the fruit of the spirit grow and manifest in your life. 

Allow your marriage to grow. Let it blossom.

If you are presently experiencing a not-too-pleasant moment in your marriage, let grace flow towards you now, releasing peace, strength, and courage to you. 

I pray for you, may God’s love and a fresh love for your spouse be shed abroad in your heart now in Jesus’ name.


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Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies

Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies. The story of King Henry VIII of England and his second wife, Anne Boleyn is a historical example of a secretive spouse that ended in a bad way Henry VIII was known for his secrecy and his tendency to keep things from his wives. He kept secret his desire to divorce his first wife, Catherine of Aragon, and his infatuation with Anne Boleyn. He also kept secret the fact that he was having an affair with Anne’s lady-in-waiting, Jane Seymour, even as Anne was pregnant with his child. Eventually, Anne was falsely accused of adultery and treason, and she was executed. Henry VIII’s secrecy and infidelity ultimately led to the downfall of his marriage to Anne and the upheaval of the entire English monarchy. A few secrets here and there resulted in many woes and agonies that are generational shifting! But this morning, let’s consider some biblical strategies!

Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies 

What do you do with a secretive spouse? This will apply to both singles who are in relationships and those married.

  1. Pray for your spouse

    Pray for your spouse’s heart to be open and for their willingness, to be honest with you. Pray for the strength and guidance to handle the situation in a godly manner.

In Genesis 18:16-33, Abraham intercedes for his wife Sarah, asking God to bless her and make her fertile, despite her old age. Through his prayer, God fulfilled his promise and Sarah gave birth to Isaac. God answers prayers! 

  1. Communicate openly

    Talk to your spouse about your concerns and feelings in a respectful and loving way. Ask them to be open and honest with you and to share their struggles.

In the story of Adam and Eve in Genesis 3:6-13, we see the consequences of not communicating openly and honestly with one another.

  1. Seek accountability

    Encourage your spouse to seek accountability from a trusted friend, mentor, or counselor.

The story of David and Nathan in 2 Samuel 12:1-14 illustrates the importance of accountability. God sent Nathan all the way so David can have the opportunity to repent! 

  1. Practice forgiveness

    Forgive your spouse for their secrecy and be willing to extend grace to them. Without forgiveness, you won’t be able to help.

The story of the prodigal son shows that forgiveness is powerful.

Colossians 3:13 “Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.”

  1. Read the Bible together

    This may sound simplistic, but it is life-giving! Spend time reading the Bible and praying together. This will help to strengthen your relationship and build trust between you.

Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies 

  1. Attend church together

    Make it a priority to attend church services together and to grow in your faith together. That will afford you a common ground for open discussions. 

Hebrews 10:25 “Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another—and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

  1. Seek help

    Consider seeking the help of a counselor or therapist to work through any issues that may be affecting your relationship if you are unable to move forward. Do not keep quiet!

James 1:5 “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”

  1. Practice humility

    Humble yourself and be willing to admit your own faults and mistakes. It is possible the secrecy of your spouse is fueled by your own attitudes and approach. It takes humility to admit.

James 4:6 “God opposes the proud but shows favor to the humble.”

  1. Be patient

    Be patient and understand that change takes time. Pray for your spouse and be willing to wait for them to change.

James 5:7-8 “Be patient, then, brothers and sisters, until the Lord’s coming. See how the farmer waits for the land to yield its valuable crop, patiently waiting for the autumn and spring rains. You too, be patient and stand firm, because the Lord’s coming is near.”

Confronting a Secretive Spouse: 9 Strategies

In conclusion, these nine biblical strategies can help couples confront and overcome secrets in their marriage. By following these principles, couples can work towards building a strong and lasting relationship based on trust, honesty, and transparency. It’s important to remember that marriage is a sacred bond, and by following these biblical strategies, couples can protect their relationship from the devil’s deception.


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Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage

Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage. Lizzie Borden was an American woman who was accused of the 1892 axe murders of her father and stepmother in Fall River, Massachusetts.

Lizzie had kept a number of secrets from her husband, including a secret affair with an actor, and evidence suggested that she had been plotting to kill her father for some time. She also had a very strained relationship with her stepmother and her father, who mistreated her.

The tragic outcome of this case was due to the secrets Lizzie kept from her husband, and the fact that she was not able to confide in him about her problems. Those deaths could have been averted if she opened up to her husband! 

Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage

Your spouse is a support system God has created to help you out, but how do you get this support when you are secretive and averse to regular communication?

Marriage is a sacred bond between two people, and the foundation of that bond is trust and transparency. In the book of Genesis, we read that “the man and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame” (Genesis 2:25). 

This passage highlights the importance of being open and honest with one another in a marriage. It is a call for couples to be naked, in the sense of being vulnerable, with each other.

However, in today’s world, many couples find themselves hiding things from one another. Whether it’s a secret phone or an affair, keeping secrets can have a devastating impact on a marriage. The truth is, it takes a lot of effort to keep a secret, and that effort is often directed away from the marriage. The more you hide, the more you are opening the door to the devil to come in and destroy your marriage.

David, the king of Israel, is a prime example of this. He was a man after God’s own heart, yet he fell into the trap of adultery and murder. If he had been open and honest with his wife about his struggles, this tragic event could have been prevented.

Singles, too, should be mindful of this in courtship. If your partner is already hiding things from you, it’s a red flag that should not be ignored. Marriage will not change them, and it’s important to address these issues before taking the next step.

Honesty and transparency are key in any relationship. As a couple, it’s important to make a conscious effort to be open and sincere with each other and to seek help when needed. Remember, the devil’s greatest weapon is deception, and the more you hide, the more vulnerable you become to his attacks. Don’t let the devil come between you and your spouse, work on your relationship and be close to each other.

Secrets That Kill: How to Protect Your Marriage

Here are five steps that one can take to deal with keeping secrets in marriage:

  1. Acknowledge the problem: The first step in dealing with keeping secrets in marriage is to acknowledge that there is a problem. Recognize that secrecy can be harmful to your relationship and that it is important to address it.
  1. Identify the reasons: Identify the reasons why you are keeping secrets from your spouse. Are you afraid of their reaction? Are you ashamed or embarrassed? Understanding the underlying reasons can help you address the problem.
  1. Communicate openly: Talk to your spouse about the secrets you are keeping and why you have been keeping them. Be honest and open about your feelings and concerns. Communication is key to building trust and intimacy in a marriage.
  2. Seek professional help: If you find it difficult to talk to your spouse about the secrets you are keeping or if you need help addressing deeper issues, consider seeking professional counseling or therapy. A therapist can help you work through any issues that may be affecting your relationship. 
  3. Take action: Once you have identified the reasons for your secrecy and have communicated openly with your spouse, take action to address the problem. It could be something as simple as changing your behavior or it could involve making more significant changes in your life. The most important thing is to work together with your spouse to find a solution.

May God grant you strength and understanding to do the needful! 

Say this Prayer:

Heavenly Father, we come to you today to ask for your protection over our marriage. We know that keeping secrets can be harmful to our relationship. We ask that you would give us the strength and the courage to be open and honest with one another. Help us to identify the reasons why we keep secrets and to address them with love and compassion. Give us the wisdom to seek professional help when needed. Guide us to take action to address the problem and to work together to find a solution. We trust in you and ask that you would protect our marriage from the devil’s attacks. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.

Use REVIVE prayers from today below


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