The fear of getting the right spouse who wouldn’t treat you harshly or abuse and jilt you is a terrible source of pressure.
There is also the fear of not meeting and having your right spouse in time.
The right way to handle this fear and its pressure is to focus your mind on the truth that God has the right spouse for you, and he or she will come at God’s appointed time.
Fear can immobilize and incapacitate. Fear can also cause you to hasten unnecessarily into dangerous terrains.
Whichever way, you need to know that God has not given you the Spirit of fear. Don’t end up marrying an unbeliever because of fear of getting old.
You cannot try to fix a pressure by violating God’s injunctions. It’s not going to work that way! You cannot jump ahead of God’s timing and expect things to work out. At the end of the day, what you venture into out of fear keeps the process elongated.
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind. – 2Ti 1:7 KJV
Cast out the Spirit of fear and trust your father to give you the best.
If you missed yesterday’s devotional, you can read it HERE
Comparison Traps
Another dangerous source of pressure is comparing yourself with your friends and colleagues, especially when they are all either engaged or married.
You can either be strengthened or intimidated by your friends; do not be intimidated.
Understand that you are uniquely different from every other person; your destiny is quite different from theirs, so your life’s story is also different.
A friend’s success should not determine your direction. It is comparison traps that often drive one into adulterous relationships all in the bid to ‘belong’ or to meet financial pressures.
Avoid this trap as much as possible, because when you keep trying to be like everybody else, you will be like nobody else at the end of the day.
For we dare not make ourselves of the number, or compare ourselves with some that commend themselves: but they measuring themselves by themselves, and comparing themselves among themselves, are not wise. – 2Co 10:12 KJV
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I refuse to stay under pressure of any kind. I am in control through the Spirit of God.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me daily to withstand every kind of pressures in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jas 1:13 MSG Don’t let anyone under pressure to give in to evil say, “God is trying to trip me up.” God is impervious to evil, and puts evil in no one’s way.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Identify all sources of pressures and work towards eliminating one at a time.
Yesterday, we started looking at some pressures singles face, especially in the areas of relationships and marriage.
Let’s continue…
f. Self-imposed Deadlines
Deadlines are good and advisable, especially in goals achievement; however, they could be a source of pressure, especially in relationships.
You need to be patient and understand that God is involved in it too. He is even more interested than you are in your relationship, and He wants you to marry the right person, at the right time. Things become beautiful in His own time, not your own time.
Do not unnecessarily be in a hurry. The decision of a life-long relationship is worth giving all the time you can reasonably afford. Don’t rush into marriage. Courtship is necessary! Get to know him or her!
g. Emergencies
Do not get pressurized into a relationship because of emergencies. He just won a visa lottery, or got transferred to a distant location, or got a political or ministerial appointment, so he decided to make haste and get married for reasons that could range from ensuring he wouldn’t lose her due to distance or some other reasons.
If you are not very sure of him/her as your right life partner, do not make a marital commitment. Don’t yield to pressures when things become so fast you cannot think again.
Be wary of getting married to somebody you met last week online and then you are planning to resign your job and travel somewhere!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am filled with God’s wisdom to rule my house.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, strengthen me in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:23 MSG The husband provides leadership to his wife the way Christ does to his church, not by domineering but by cherishing.
Her needs are specialized and peculiar. They are different from your own needs. From spiritual needs to physical needs and emotional needs, you have to find out!
You will immediately discover her preferences, that what excites you on Television doesn’t not tickle her fancy! Find out and seek to meet those needs!
3. Understand her Language
Her language is like her password. It could be gifts, words of affirmation, quality time, physical touch or acts of service.
You don’t communicate to her on your own terms but on her own terms.
Find out her definition of “romantic” and go after that. The definition of the word “romantic” is not what you find in a dictionary, but there is a dictionary in her mind with its own definition like no other, authored by her, and you have to find a way to retrieve that dictionary and check the definition which would often be different from what you think.
4. Understand her pressures
She usually has pressures. Most times, she is not even seeking for those pressures to be taken away, because they are often necessities of life.
She just wants to know that there is somebody who understands what she is going through.
Many years ago, my wife explained this to me. She was pouring her hearts to me, and expounding her pressures and at a point I bursted out;
“Hey! I am not the Holy Spirit. I cannot take these things away!”
“And then she looked at me and said,
“I know you are not the Holy Spirit. I am not asking you to solve these issues, I only want to have a feeling somebody understands what I am going through!
Wow! That is what that lady in your life wants! An understanding heart and that takes the pressures off.
She just wants an understanding, loving and caring man!
Unfortunately, most times, single ladies look for this in wrong places and often fall into the hands of men who are only looking for sexual gratification.
If you are a single lady, make your needs known to God and never offer your body in exchange for some care that will vaporise the next minute!
Wait for the process of meeting that right man who will love you appropriately and will take care of you!
May God grant you strength in your inner man to cooperate with God.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to understand my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY I receive wisdom to understand my partner.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 3:17-19 (KJV) That Christ may dwell in your hearts by faith; that ye, being rooted and grounded in love.
Dealing With In-Laws In Marriage. Our parents and the parents of our spouse are very much part of our family. In fact, we should be grateful to them for bringing up our spouse.
No doubt, their sacrifices have contributed to making our spouses who they are. Whether they brought them up well or not is another thing, that God used them to preserve the life of your spouse is enough to be grateful for.
Most times, our parents and in-laws are a blessing. They give advice and help us with babysitting. The question then is how do we deal with their excesses? Grandparents and Grand In-laws are usually less busy with work, so they tend to be busybodies.
When they become a pain in the neck, how do we handle things? When they seem to go out of their boundaries, what do we do? When they become a distraction to us and our marriage, how do we handle them, without hurting them?
When their demands are affecting our finances, what do we do? When our religious beliefs are different and at loggerheads, what do we do? When because they are humans, they tend to come between us and our wife or husband, what do we do? When they want us to do things opposing our conscience, what do we do?
When we have a sick parent-in-law or parent, should we reject and abandon them? When we face pressures from in-laws about responsibilities they put upon our shoulders, what do we do?
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals kindly go HERE
All these questions and many others are what we face daily and these affect our marriages in no small way. They affect our relationship with our spouse.
Basically, no two situations are exactly the same. We need wisdom from God to handle these issues. Prayer is very important and relationship with the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that will show us the true picture and give us the solutions we need.
He will tell us the right words at the right time to speak to them. The Holy Spirit will even tell us the right gifts to get.
Here are some wise tips to help you handle in-law issues
1. Know God’s order; it’s your spouse first before the family 2. Don’t hurt the feelings of your spouse because of some in-law 3. Live within your means and budget 4. Have an account for emergencies from which you take care of such needs. 5. Let parents and in-law know that you and your spouse are inseparable and nothing can separate you. 6. Protect and defend yourselves before your in-laws. 7. Love your parents and in-laws but let them know that you have a responsibility to your own family first.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I live considerably with my in-laws
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom to handle my in-laws
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
The devil issuch a bad devil. But thank God we have a good God! Left for the devil, he doesn’t want any progress for your life or marriage. So he comes up with several devices, just to keep you ultimately away from God.
He would use just anybody around you to fight and attack you and bring weariness and tiredness to your soul. He would incite strife, depression, and moodiness just to create problems.
The fire in marriage should not be allowed to go out. The fire in you as a child of God must not die.
Are you in that place and it looks your spiritual life dropped after you got married?
There could be a lot of reasons responsible for that. It could be a result of unexpected pressures arising from the transition from being single to becoming a married person. It could be that marital activities and the desire to please your spouse overtook the time you usually spend with God.
However, it is your passion for God that must be prioritized.
As David noted:
Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
This panting, this passion, must not be substituted with any other thing!
I so much love how Message Translation puts this.
Psa 42:1 (MSG) A psalm of the sons of Korah. A white-tailed deer drinks from the creek; I want to drink God, deep draughts of God.
You must keep drinking from God, deeply. This is what ignites the fire in your soul and in your marriage.
The fire in your life must not go out. The fire in your marriage must not go out. The fire in your bedroom must not go out.
Keep the embers fired up with honesty, faithfulness, love, submission, and absolute focus on God and your spouse.
May God’s help never cease in your life and marriage!
Have a beautiful day and see you tomorrow for another word from the Lord.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marital fire will not be extinguished.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that you will remain on fire for God even after marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Psa 42:1 (KJV) As the hart panteth after the water brooks, so panteth my soul after thee, O God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY What were those things you did before getting married? Are you still doing them?
