Top 56 Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer – Part 2
The Marriage of Dave and Joyce Meyer has been for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.
Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer. This is Part 2. Read Part 1 Here.
Forgiving Quickly to Avoid Strife.
29. Satan wants strife but God wants peace. Joyce shares how realizing this, and refusing to get offended has helped. Forgiving and letting things go is key to avoiding discord.
30. Joyce and Dave warn against expecting overnight fixes. Trials often intensify before peace emerges, so persevering shows faith in God’s unseen hand at work.
31. The key is learning to accommodate each other. For example, while Dave may think Joyce’s processing style is “just wasted breath,” refraining from dismissive comments and listening respectfully goes a long way. Likewise, Joyce can try viewing situations from her husband’s logical perspective, even if she needs further discussion.
32. With patience and compromise, couples can diffuse tensions simply by acknowledging how their brains work differently.
33. Holding onto offenses is one of the surest ways to damage a marriage.
34. Joyce shared how she struggled with this early in her relationship with Dave but realized harboring resentment only benefits the devil.
35. The sooner spouses forgive small slights and absorb the word of love from First Corinthians 13, the smoother their union will go. “Love keeps no record of wrongs” is a radical concept in relationships but brings tremendous peace when applied.
36. Forgiveness also requires making a daily choice not to dwell on past hurts.
37. As Joyce said, the more one ruminates on offenses, the deeper the roots of bitterness take hold. But nipping issues in the bud through quick forgiveness keeps relationships clean and harmony intact. This helped the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer a lot.
38. With practice, this can become second nature for even the most sensitive partners. Remember – it’s not about condoning bad actions but releasing the right to retaliate so love can reign free.
Seeing the Best in Each Other.
39. Dave lets Joyce be herself fully. Joyce has learned to see Dave’s logic as balancing her emotions, not opposing her. They’ve found humor in each other instead of aggravation.
40. Beyond communication gaps, every couple has their endearing idiosyncrasies that can push buttons if left unchecked. The Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer indeed is a great inspiration across the world.
41. Joyce humorously pointed out little habits of Dave’s, like noisily eating cereal or purposefully banging dishes louder when irritated, that get under her skin. However, she realized God made them with these distinct traits intentionally, perhaps for their own amusement.
42. We must appreciate our spouses as whole individuals rather than demanding they change harmless peculiarities.
Prioritizing Safety in Toxic Situations
43. While God hates divorce, abuse is never okay. If danger exists, safety comes first by distancing oneself until help is found. Otherwise, prayer and God’s guidance are vital.
44. While the above advice focuses on minor marital tensions, dangerously toxic relationships require a different approach to prioritizing safety.
45. Joyce rightly cautioned those in abusive situations to remove themselves and children from harm’s way, as God never intended endangerment. Additionally, prayerfully considering counseling or legal protection may become necessary steps of wisdom.
46. The role of prayer cannot be overstated even in these dire circumstances.
47. Communing continuously with Christ brings His empowerment, perspective, and discernment for the next steps.
48. Rather than facing challenges alone in one’s strength, total reliance on God’s guidance through Scripture and stillness lifts the heavy burden.
49. His perfect love casts out all fear as His plan and protection unfold. With His intervention, seemingly impossible problems dissolve. Love is a constant factor in the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer.
Applying God’s Love.
50. Focusing on patience, kindness, and protecting the relationship helps. Seeing each other through God’s loving eyes transforms perspectives.
51. His Word shows us how to think of our spouse and ourselves.
52. Joyce emphasized consistently seeking God first in all matters, from minor annoyances to profound crises.
53. His love far surpasses any human love and fills what is lacking when spouses apply it through obedience, prayer, and wisdom
54. Together with Dave for decades, she stands as proof of the peace and joy available when Christ forms the foundation of a union.
55. With His help, couples can rise above natural tendencies to impatience, resentment, or control
56. In summarizing this discussion on marriage, the key lessons are to go into marriage with clear communication about expectations, to accept your spouse for who they are rather than trying to change them, and to rely on God’s wisdom in navigating disagreements and difficult seasons
Conclusion
While differences will arise, focusing on each other’s positive qualities and prioritizing individual responsibility for happiness can help strengthen the bond. With patience, compromise when needed, and a commitment to a lifelong partnership, a marriage has the potential to grow deeper in love and understanding over decades.
Anger Management Hacks: 10 Surprising Ways To Keep Your Cool
Good morning! Today, I want to speak directly to both singles and married couples. There are things in life that work, and there are things that do not. You don’t need to spend another five years experimenting to figure out what works and what doesn’t. All you need is a willingness to learn. Every mistake you make has the potential to harden your heart against God, which is a tactic of the devil. Life is not meant to be permanently lived on Mistake Street by Error Avenue. Instead, you can choose to pursue wisdom and allow past mistakes to teach and instruct you.
You gain wisdom from God’s word and also from His anointed ones. Here are a few things you should take note of.
1. Be Slow to Get Angry
This is what the scripture expressly advises. Many have lost precious relationships because of anger tantrums. It’s okay to get angry sometimes as a human; I get angry myself sometimes. But when your anger becomes compulsive, uncontrollable, and borders on violence, you need to be careful. When it comes to anger, apply the super slow-motion button!
2. Managing Anger
Pray to God for Help: If you find yourself getting angry to the point of beating people, picking fights, or destroying things, you need to consciously pray to God for help.
3. Seek Resources
Go online and search for ‘anger management’ to find materials that can help you.
4. Study Scriptures
Dive into the scriptures and study every instance where the words “anger,” “angry,” “wrath,” etc., occur. The word of God is life and that life can help you manage your emotions.
Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV)
5. Walk Away
The next time you get very angry, walk away and check the mirror. If you can see the lumps there, relax first before making a decision.
Ecc 7:9 (MSG) Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.
6. Soft Answers
When your partner is angry, don’t raise your voice back. Talk in a whisper, and the demon of wrath will fly away.
7. Two Angry People
Consider Simeon and Levi, who had serious anger problems:
“Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self-will they digged down a wall.” (Genesis 49:5-6 KJV)
Their father placed a curse on them for their actions:
“Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:7 KJV)
Their problem was that they were both angry at the same time. Never get angry at the same time your partner is angry.
8. Dealing with Anger as a Single
If you recognize that you have anger issues, don’t ignore it and don’t play the denial card. Here are the steps you can take:
Talk to a Pastor or Mentor: Seek guidance from spiritual leaders.
Read Books: Find books on anger management and read them.
Study the Scriptures: Allow your mind to be renewed by God’s word.
Pray for Help: Pray to God for assistance in overcoming your anger.
When you pray to God for help, you might find more situations that provoke you. This can be a way to understand the depth of your need for help and start working on it consciously.
9. Dealing with Anger as Married Couples
Anger in marriage can be particularly dangerous. Here are some guidelines for managing anger in a marital relationship:
a. Avoid Simultaneous Anger.
If one partner is angry, the other should remain calm.
b. Don’t Raise Your Voice.
Talk in a whisper to defuse the situation.
Pro 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.
c. Avoid Provocative Language:
Respond with gentle words like, “Dear, it is well.”
10. Prayer and Confession
Confession. I am not a fool, therefore, I don’t get angry easily.
Prayer. I curse every root of anger and wrath in my life in Jesus’ name.
Are you tired of feeling like you’re not quite ticking all the right boxes in your romantic relationships? Do you want to know the secrets to making a woman fall deeply in love with you? Look no further! In this article, we’ll dive into the top ten things a woman wants in a man, and how you can become the ultimate catch.
1. Confidence: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac
A woman wants a man who exudes confidence. Not arrogance, but a quiet self-assurance that says, “I’ve got this.” When you own your strengths and weaknesses, you become an unstoppable force. So, work on building your self-esteem, and watch how it transforms your relationships. Gone are the days of pretending to be someone you’re not. A woman wants a man who is confident in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Be true to yourself, and she’ll love you for who you are. The scriptures says in Eph 5:1a “Be imitators of God in everything you do…”
2. Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Deep Connections
Women crave emotional intelligence in a partner. It’s the ability to understand and validate her feelings, making her feel seen and heard. Develop your active listening skills, and emotional regulation to become the rock she can lean on. . A man who can communicate his feelings, empathize with his partner, and navigate the emotional landscape of a relationship is incredibly attractive. Ecc 10:2 in the Message Translations says “Wise thinking leads to right living; Stupid thinking leads to wrong living.”
3. Vision: A Man with a Purpose
Vision is attractive. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man with goals, passions, and a sense of direction. It’s not about being a high-achiever, but about having a clear vision for your life. So, identify your values, set goals, and work towards them – it’s a huge turn-on! Women appreciate a man who is motivated and has a clear vision for his future. This doesn’t necessarily mean financial wealth or status, but rather a passion and determination to pursue his dreams. Col 3:23 says “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”
4. Humour: Laughter is the Best Medicine
A good sense of humor can diffuse even the most tense situations. A woman wants a man who can make her laugh, who can find the humor in life’s absurdities. So, don’t take yourself too seriously, and learn to laugh at yourself. No woman wants joy killer! Every woman wants a joy dispenser! Moments of joy remain memorable and source of strength in stormy times. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” so says Proverbs 17:22
A woman wants a partner who can lighten the mood, diffuse conflicts with humor, and bring a sense of playfulness to the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to be a full-time comedian, but cultivating a good sense of humor and the ability to not take yourself too seriously can work wonders. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes and quirks, and encourage your partner to do the same. This shared levity will help you weather any storm that comes your way.
Remember, laughter truly is the language of the heart. By embracing your inner jokester and making your partner giggle, you’ll unlock a level of intimacy and connection that goes beyond mere words. So, don’t be afraid to be the “joy dispenser” in your relationship – it’s an irresistible quality that every woman craves.
5. Emotional Availability: Being Present in the Moment
Emotional availability is about being fully present in the moment, without distractions. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man who can engage in deep conversations, who can listen actively, and who can be vulnerable. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and focus on the person in front of you. Be fully engaged in your interactions with her, and prioritize quality time together.
Being emotionally available means being willing to listen and understand your partner’s thoughts and feelings. As James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” By being a good listener, you can build trust and intimacy in your relationship.
As the apostle Paul wrote, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). By being open and honest about your own fears, doubts, and desires, you can create a safe space for your partner to do the same.
Remember, emotional availability is about being fully engaged in the present moment. By putting away distractions, making eye contact, and focusing on your partner, you can build a deeper and more meaningful connection.
There are so many things that couples know that singles don’t have a clue about. I know some singles won’t agree…until they marry!
Being in a committed relationship can be a unique and transformative experience. Here are the top ten things that couples know that singles may not have an idea of.
1. Love is a Choice.
Couples know that love is not just a feeling, but a conscious decision to prioritize and commit to each other every day. Singles think they will forever feel love towards their spouse after the wedding! Should we tell them? The reality is that you will wake up some days and won’t feel an iota of love. Love then becomes a choice, a decision you make, not because of what you feel. Feelings are fleeting and fickle, so you cannot rely on them.
2. Communication is Key.
Couples understand that effective communication is crucial for building trust, resolving conflicts, and deepening their connection. Couples know they have to keep talking whether they like it or not. Singles think they will naturally flow all the time, but sometimes a spouse wants to be alone. Effort must be made to sustain communication at such times.
3. Intimacy Goes Beyond Sex.
This is one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that intimacy encompasses emotional vulnerability, trust, and a deep sense of connection that transcends physical intimacy. Couples know that intimacy is not all about marriage; they know that beyond intimacy, there are deeper cords that bind the couple together.
4. Compromise is Essential.
Couples have learned that finding common ground and compromising is vital for navigating differences and building a strong partnership. Singles can stubbornly stay with their opinion and think that is the way it is generally. But couples know you have to find a middle ground within the context of God’s word most of the time.
5. Independence is Important.
Couples recognize that maintaining individuality and personal interests is essential for a healthy and fulfilling relationship. This is what will prevent unnecessary meltdowns during mid-life crises.
6. Fights are Inevitable and Necessary.
Couples know that disagreements are a natural part of any relationship and can actually strengthen their bond if navigated constructively. Singles can sweep things under the carpet or even pretend to be nice. But in marriage, things happen live in 3D! Good couples have learned to disagree without being disagreeable. Some singles are under the illusion that they will never disagree because they are “in love.”
7. Supporting Each Other’s Growth.
Couples understand the importance of supporting each other’s personal growth, goals, and aspirations. Couples know they are limited when they are not together. They know the reality of one chasing a thousand and two chasing ten thousand. Couples know they have to be on the same page.
8. Vulnerability is a Strength.
Couples have learned that being vulnerable and open with each other is a sign of strength, not weakness. Couples have realized the importance of the following scripture:
Jas 5:16 (TPT) Confess and acknowledge how you have offended one another and then pray for one another to be instantly healed, for tremendous power is released through the passionate, heartfelt prayer of a godly believer!
They know that vulnerability is strength! Period! It requires courage to peel back the layers, revealing one’s true self to another.
9. Relationships Take Work.
This is another one of the secrets couples keep from singles. Couples know that relationships require effort, patience, and dedication to maintain and deepen their connection. Some singles are living on fantasy island. Couples know they have to work on their marriage. They know that marriage only works when they have decided to work at it. Like tending to a delicate garden, they nurture the seeds of love and tend to its growth, watering it with kindness, understanding, and unwavering devotion.
10. Unconditional Love is Real.
Couples have experienced the transformative power of unconditional love and acceptance, which can bring a profound sense of security and joy to their relationship. It is a love that transcends flaws, imperfections, and the changing tides of life. Couples know that a love that is not selfish but selfless is what will get the job done.
By recognizing and embracing these truths, couples can build a strong, resilient, and loving partnership that brings happiness and fulfillment to both individuals.
Hey there, ladies! Have you ever wondered what makes a man tick? What do they really want in a partner? Today, we’re going to dive into the top 10 qualities that men desire in a woman. And trust me, it’s not just about looks or physical attraction. There’s so much more to it!
1. Confidence.
Let’s face it, guys love a woman who exudes confidence. It’s not about being perfect; it’s about embracing your imperfections and owning them with poise. Confidence can be sexy!
How can a woman develop confidence? Firstly, a woman can build confidence by:
a. Focusing on what she’s good at and what she’s achieved.
b. Being kind to herself and taking care of her physical and emotional needs.
c. Surrounding herself with God, His Word, and with people who support and encourage her.
The Scripture declares in 1 Peter 3:3-4 that “What matters is not your outer appearance—the styling of your hair, the jewelry you wear, the cut of your clothes, but your inner disposition. Cultivate inner beauty, the gentle, gracious kind that God delights in.”
2. Intelligence.
Men are drawn to women who can hold their own in a conversation. This is one of the Qualities That Men Desire. They love a good debate, a witty remark, or a clever joke. So, don’t be afraid to show off your brainpower, ladies! A man wants a lady who he can talk to and engage in friendly banter and conversations.
Why do men leave a big and clearer television at home to go and watch a global match in a club in a less comfortable environment? It is because of those friendly conversations and banters! Ladies, develop yourself! Know one or two things about the club he loves. Learn to sustain conversations!
Men are attracted to women who are curious and interested in learning and who can hold intelligent conversations and share their own insights.
Proverbs 18:15 says “The heart of the discerning acquires knowledge, for the ears of the wise seek it out.”
To develop your intelligence as a lady, here are a few things you can do:
a. Read widely and often, exploring different topics and interests.
b. Engage in conversations with people from different backgrounds and industries.
c. Take classes or workshops to learn new skills and expand your knowledge.
d. Ask questions and seek to understand different perspectives.
3. Empathy.
Empathy is one of the Qualities That Men Desire in a Woman. Guys appreciate a woman who can understand their struggles, validate their emotions, and offer support. Be that safe haven for your partner, and watch your relationship flourish!
Men crave emotional connection and intimacy, just like women do. Men often feel like they’re not being heard or understood, especially when it comes to their emotions.
When a woman can understand and validate a man’s emotions, it breaks traditional gender roles and stereotypes, allowing for a more equal and balanced relationship. These are some reasons why men crave such a woman who can provide these.
This is why it is good to pray to God before making marital decisions. There are some ladies who lack these qualities and yet they are on their way to developing them. In other words, they didn’t have it yet, but they inherently have all it takes to be that kind of woman.
You see people change with time. A man has to be discerning. Conversely, there can be a woman who seems to possess these qualities, and yet it would be fleeting and temporary. When pressures come, she melts like a pot of stew!
Pray and pray very well to be led by God in making your decisions! Only God knows who will love you now and would still love you in another thirty or forty years!
