How should a person love their fiancee or spouse? That is what I will be looking at this morning. Love is an action word and if there are no actions to show you love her, you don’t love her in the real sense. Just like respect is a big deal for the guys and it is God’s order that their fiancee and wife respect them out of honor to God and not necessarily because he deserves it.
The same way, God expects and requires that every man loves his own fiancee.
One of the marks of maturity is when a man has the ability to overlook the weakness of his fiancee and despite all, still love her unconditionally.
Eph 5:25 (MSG)
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church–a love marked by giving, not getting.
As husbands-to-be, you are to model Christ. Your leadership role is that of a servant leader. Your headship over her is not an authoritarian rule but one marked with sacrificial love.
One that is patient and kind. One that is meant to nurture and bring out the best in her.
Loving your fiancee begins from the time of your courtship and not when you are married. You start walking by the principle of genuine, God kind of love. This love definitely does not include sleeping with her or dishonoring her body. Any guy who sleeps with a lady before marrying her has shown the highest level of dishonor for the lady. That definitely is not love.
I do not condemn any body because most of these things were done in ignorance. But repentance is needed especially now that you know. Not engaging in pre-maritals is the honor you give to God that the marriage institution is ordained by God.
You are to love her like your own body because she actually is. You begin to learn to treat your fiancee as you would treat yourself. Treat her with dignity, don’t shout on her. Don’t shut her up. Don’t ignore her or her opinions. Don’t compare her to other ladies, don’t put attention on her weak areas.
Learn to celebrate her, appreciate her and hold her in high esteem.
Loving her is every man’s God given assignment. Don’t fail in this assignment.
Alright, so let’s dive into this whole respect thing, especially when it comes to your guy and not stepping on God’s toes in the process.
You know how crucial respect is, right? It’s like the glue holding relationships together, making sure everything runs smoothly. But here’s the deal – ladies, we’re good at giving props, showing love, and giving credit where it’s due. But, oh boy, when the guys mess up, it’s like a respect withdrawal party.
Get it. Respect isn’t something you just throw around randomly. It’s earned and deserved. You respect your dad, your boss, your pastor – they’ve got their roles, and you acknowledge that.
Now, relationships, that’s a whole different ball game. Your boo isn’t just a boss or a dad; he’s someone you know inside out – the good, the bad, and the ugly. And let’s be real, he’s probably messed up once or twice, and it stings.
But here’s the kicker – don’t let that mess with your view of him. Respect is like following God’s playbook. When you respect your guy, you’re not just playing by relationship rules; you’re respecting the bigger picture, the whole God-and-marriage thing.
So, how do you do it? How do you respect him without making God frown?
Mind Matters: Respect starts in your head. Accept that your man is the head – it’s not a mistake; it’s by God’s design. Your job? Support that. Remind yourself it’s your duty, and do it with joy.
Learn the Ropes: Some of us didn’t grow up seeing respect in action. You can learn it. Humble yourself, pick up the skill, and show some respect – for God’s sake.
For some ladies, it may not come naturally to them to respect maybe because of their choleric temperament or background. Whichever way, you have to humble yourself and learn to respect him out of respect for God.
Define and Refine: Respect isn’t just a word; it’s an action. Ask yourself, how can I admire this guy more? When you slip up, correct it. Ask, “Is this respect or disrespect?” Treat disrespect like a no-go zone, because, hey, you don’t want to disappoint God, right?
Remember Joseph and his stand against temptation? Well, your ultimate motivation here is not disrespecting God.
Keep that in mind, and respecting your man will be a breeze.
We started on this yesterday! We will continue this morning!
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t know what you are doing with someone who tells you out-rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing.
Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him the go-ahead? Men don’t change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family.
There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me.
Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody who doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a help.
You know, when I read Ephesians 4:32, it got me thinking about something really important for couples.
Eph 4:32 (KJV) And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ’s sake hath forgiven you.
The verse suggests three key things: being kind to one another, having a tender heart, and forgiving each other. I think these are super crucial in marriage and can help iron out a lot of issues, you know?
Imagine having a kind and gentle partner – it’s like having a shield against unnecessary arguments. And being tender-hearted? It’s all about treating each other with the same love and care a mom gives her newborn. What if we could be that tender in our relationships? I bet there would be less yelling and definitely no hurtful words thrown around.
Then, there’s the part about forgiving one another. This one’s powerful. Holding onto bitterness can be toxic, so why not just forgive quickly and completely? I like how The Message translation puts it: “Be gentle with one another, sensitive, and forgive as quickly and thoroughly as God forgave you.”
Taking on this attitude of compassion, understanding, and love can change the game. It can put a stop to shouting matches, violent tendencies, and all the negative stuff. I hope that this understanding and love will seep into your marriage and overcome any challenges that come your way.
I wish you all the best and pray that every obstacle in your marriage gets crushed. Here’s to a blessed and loving marriage journey!
Let’s dive into the respect pool, especially regarding our men. Like, seriously, why is respect such a big deal for them?
It’s not about whether your guy is a superhero or not. It’s more about God’s grand plan – respect and honor are the secret sauce to keeping the relationship vibe alive.
Living life by God’s rules is like sticking to a recipe. No arguing, no adding your secret spices – just follow the script. And guess what? Your opinion doesn’t get a starring role. It’s all about playing by God’s rules.
Now, for all you single ladies out there, respect isn’t just a married folks’ thing. It starts way back in courtship. If you’re dissing your dude-to-be now, turning into a respect queen will be difficult after tying the knot.
And hey, respect and submission are not forced on anyone. The Bible’s like, “Respect and submit to your hubby.” Simple, right? So if a guy is not who you can respect, honor, and admire to the point of submitting to him, DON’T marry him.
Marriage is like a legal pact, and breaking it is a big no-no. So, if you’ve decided to say “I do,” it’s like signing a respect contract.
All attention is placed on the head because that is where the seat of decision, thinking, sight, speech, smell, hearing, and eating is. All vital action takes place in and on the head. Beauty and radiance, intellect, and reasoning are all found on the head.
Yes, the body is very important too. But by design, the head gets the full attention and responsibility rises and falls on the head. The lady or wife is equally important.
Let’s say she is the heart. We know there is no life apart from the heart. The head honors the heart because of its life-giving ability. But the heart is secured and protected because of its makeup and vulnerability.
That is God’s design. And it makes a whole lot of sense, both logical and spiritual sense.
Respect is:
a feeling of deep admiration for someone or something elicited by their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements.
To help you learn respect go through the definition and synonyms of respect and note where you are lacking.
Synonyms: esteem, admire, think highly of, have a high opinion of, hold in high regard, hold in (high) esteem, think much of, approve of, appreciate, cherish, value, set (great) store by, prize, treasure, look up to, pay homage to, venerate, revere, reverence, adulate, worship, idolize, put on a pedestal, lionize, hero-worship, honor, applaud, praise, favor
Eph 5:22 -24 Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord. For the husband is the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the church: and he is the saviour of the body. Therefore as the church is subject unto Christ, so [let] the wives [be] to their husbands in everything.
