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Connection Between Individual Progress and Marital Success

Growth signifies life. Stagnant water stinks. If you are not growing, you are dying. It is high time we prioritize our individual growth journey if we desire to see growth in our relationships and marriages. Everyone is born a clean slate, naive. As we begin to take our personal growth seriously, we start to develop skills and mature in who we are.

A lot of crises in relationships and marriages are due to knowledge gaps between couples. We don’t have to make any effort to grow chronologically. All we need for such growth is food, all other things being equal. However, the growth that leads to transformational change is not automatic. It requires effort, consistency, and sacrifices.

I told a friend the other day that I wondered what I had been doing all my younger years when I had time. There is so much to learn in every aspect of our lives that it seems 24 hours is not enough. If you are not growing, you cannot be excused. You have to make efforts and plan to grow.

The Bible says in Genesis 2:24:

“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.”

There is a leaving, a cleaving, and becoming one flesh. All these processes require learning, unlearning, and relearning. It takes personal growth to know what you are “leaving” to “cleave” to, and you have to know the part you have to play in the process of becoming one flesh.

Your relationship or marriage cannot grow beyond the level of personal growth of the individuals in the relationship or marriage. Ask yourself this question: how many books have I read on relationships? As married couples, what books have you read about the different aspects of marriage?

To succeed in your relationship or marriage, you must take the issue of developing yourself seriously. There are different ways you can learn. You can learn through mentors, through experience, by asking questions, but the most effective and cheapest way to learn is by reading books. Books contain the experiences of others encapsulated in the pages, so you don’t repeat the mistakes they have made in the past.

There are so many aspects of your relationship and marriage that you need to personally grow in for the health of your union to emerge. If you prioritize personal growth, there will be some fights that will be eliminated from your relationship and marriage.

Genesis 1:27 states:

“So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.”

God created us distinctly different by purpose, on purpose, and for a purpose. If the purpose of something is not known, abuse is inevitable. Our purpose in relationships and marriages has to be discovered through a personal growth journey. Nobody can do that for us. The growth has to be personal; the man has to grow as much as the woman.

Make a quality decision today to prioritize personal growth for the well-being of your relationship and marriage. The more you know, the better for your relationship and marriage. For example, knowing the differences between men and women is fundamental to how you relate to one another. It affects almost every aspect of our relationships and marriages, including communication, decision-making, and understanding yourselves as partners.

I urge you this morning, keep learning and never stop growing.

God bless your relationship and marriage.


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