Is It Just A Feeling or Love? One of the most abused statements in this generation is “I am in love.” Two people met themselves, there was strong body chemistry, and they hit on the very moment they set eyes on each other, it was as if they have known each for a long time, in a matter of hours, they are intertwined in each other’s embrace, locked up in sex and everything looks great for them. Is that love? Unfortunately, the answer is a No-No!
Pastor, why do you say so? What about love at first sight?
Well, there is nothing like love at first sight, what really happens most times is lust at first sight. If you think well, what we call love, at first sight, is usually predicated on the intense feelings for each other when you set eyes on each other.
There may be a “knowing” at first sight, where you get to know who the right person is for you either by revelation or by intuition, but there is nothing like love at first sight.
Is It Just A Feeling or Love? To love a person, you have to know that person. You don’t really know a person at first sight, you may have feelings, but you don’t really love him or her because you don’t know him or her.
A Feeling is not love, even though, there may be a feeling in love. Feelings can be fickle, they can change, it is on the surface and if you marry because of feeling alone, you will be heavily disappointed, because there would be times in marriage, there would be no iota of feelings. Will you go and divorce?
In the scripture, Amnon had a strong feeling for Tamar. (2 Sam 13.) The feelings were so strong that he became sick and lean. He was so vexed with love, some other translation says he was fond of Tamar while some others say he was obsessed.
Pastor, you mean somebody can be very fond of me, thinking of me every time, and yet not be in love? The answer is Yes. Pastor, you mean somebody can be all over me, showering me with gifts, ready to “die” for me, cannot sleep without me, cannot do without calling me ten times in a day, and yet not be in love? The answer is Yes!
In the scripture, it says concerning Amnon:
“And Amnon was so vexed, that he fell sick for his sister Tamar; for she was a virgin; and Amnon thought it hard for him to do any thing to her.” (2 Samuel 13:2, KJV)
Message Translation:
“Amnon was obsessed with his sister Tamar to the point of making himself sick over her. She was a virgin, so he couldn’t see how he could get his hands on her.” (2 Samuel 13:2, MSG)
The feelings were so strong that his body began to collapse. That ought to be strong love, but sadly, it is not.
He calls me twenty times a day, it may not be love. She may be calling somebody else, thirty times a day as well. She spends weekends with me, it may not be love. She may be spending weekends with other guys as well. He gives me a lot of money. It may not be love, he may just see his money as a tool to get what he wants and when he doesn’t want it, he withdraws his money.
I can go on and on. Is It Just A Feeling or Love?
You would have concluded Amnon was so so much in love.
But then he lied to his father and to Tamar. True love is sincere.
He ended up raping Tamar. True love protects, it does not violate!
He forces and uses scripture to manipulate you into sleeping with him and he says he is in love? He is not only lying, he is lying in state!
But Pastor, he is truthful. He told me that I am not the only one he is sleeping with and that I am the only one he would marry! Then what are you doing in that kind of relationship where you are being told with audacity and effrontery such sexual atrocities? How did you get yourself into that place?
Amon, after raping Tamar and getting what he wanted, sent her out of his door and the scripture says something very powerful:
“Then Amnon hated her exceedingly; so that the hatred wherewith he hated her was greater than the love wherewith he had loved her. And Amnon said unto her, Arise, be gone.” (2 Samuel 13:15, KJV)
In verse 2, he loved her to the point of obsession. In verse 15, he hated her exceedingly, after getting what he wanted. That is not love. It is spelled L-U-S-T!
There is a huge difference between love and feelings!
For married couples, one of the prayers you should keep praying is that God’s love is shed abroad in your hearts. You may wake up some of those days and feelings seem to have travelled, at such times, your love must still remain firm because you are in a covenant with your spouse. You should not feel before you love in marriage, you should love, feelings or no feelings! In marriage, love moves away from feeling completely to commitments!
50 Ways To Love One Another. Pastor, what is this thing with 50 this, 50 that? Don’t mind me. It’s not easy to be 50, It can only be God. So bear with me on my idiosyncrasies in this season.
So our topic this morning is 50 Ways to love another, and this is for singles and married. I will write 25 today and conclude tomorrow.
Just before I go on, I want to appreciate you all for the calls, the messages, and the gifts on my birthday! God bless you massively. You will live long in Jesus’ name!
1. Love with sincerity. A major key in marriage.
2. Do all you can do to build trust. Broken trust breeds insecurities.
3. Be creative in loving your loved one. Boredom can lead to exploring the forbidden.
4. Sex should be kept in the hood for singles while it should be on top of the table for couples.
5. In Couples, the frequency of your intimacy in the bedroom shows how healthy the marriage is.
6. Singles, love each other with prayers. Pray more than any other thing you will do in courtship
7. Don’t stop the wooing process and the pursuit games. Continue that after the wedding and thank me later.
8. Singles, go after God with all your energy. God will be committed that you don’t get it wrong
9. God is committed till it is completed. So, don’t back out on God
10. Love is like a story, what type of character will you be?
11. Going to Cinemas is good, going for the supernatural should be pursued too.
12. Surprise each other every time.
13. Don’t take each other for granted. Be sensitive to your needs.
14. You can’t bring selfishness into marriage. It won’t last
14. Seek to please each other after pleasing God and you will minimize offences.
15. Forgiveness is a decision. It has nothing to do with who is right or wrong
16. The most mature is the one that says sorry first
17. The husband and wife actually get angry. One shows it, the other internalizes it. There is nothing like he doesn’t get angry. So apologize to one another.
18. In marriage, you are both right and wrong. It takes two to tango
19. Do not give sex to get love as singles. You never get the love, and he gets the sex.
20. Take everything to God in prayer rather than argue your eyes out.
21. Both of you have your weaknesses. One may show, while the other is subdued. But it is what it is
22. The devil hates you passionately. Don’t do Tik Tok on his terrain. Give him no space
23. Guys, you are her protector. Stop seeing her as a sex toy
24. Ladies, you are his helper, stop seeing him as ATM Machine
25. Read the Bible daily without fail. You will know how to love properly.
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse. Sally is in love. Butterflies are flying in her tummy, her heartbeat accelerating, and there are twinkle little stars on her face always! George is floating on Cloud 9. He is crazily in love with Sally. The mere sight of thinking about her would elicit goose pimples all over him.
So, Sally and George are in love! How would they take care of each other?
The Johnsons are married, and somehow the butterflies have decided to rest, the heartbeat is stable and the stars have hibernated. How do you take care of each other or probably rekindle this love?
Here are some ideas for singles and married couples.
Two Ways To Love Your Spouse 1. Communication
Stay in touch. Words are powerful; use them to your advantage. As singles, don’t let your courtship season be a memory of fights, quarrels, and arguments. Be mature with each other. Avoid being incommunicado.
Make it a rule; we must keep talking. That can be a powerful principle to live by as a married couple as well. The devil feasts on silence; assumptions will persist and complicate the issue because assumptions are the lowest form of knowledge.
What is a man looking for? Respect! What is a lady looking for? Love!
If you learn to communicate this, there will be less tension!
Singles should however note that it is wrong to say you are showing respect while you are disobeying God’s injunctions! More aptly put, you are not showing respect to your fiance by cooperating with him when he asks for sex!
2. Spirituals
Oh, pastor, what has this got to do with being romantic? It’s got a lot to do! Somebody said, in order to be romantic, read the book of Romans! Lol…
Well, candidly, your spiritual life as single or married can determine the success of your relationship or marriage.
There are two elements to your spiritual life: reading God’s word and praying to God. If you can make this regular and consistent, some order will come into your relationship/marriage.
As you read, you will come to understand God’s thoughts and plan for a good relationship or marriage.
As you pray, God will give you ideas, resources, and energy to take your relationship/marriage to the next level. Here are Two Ways To Love Your Spouse
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God to the needful
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will teach and instruct you in the way to go
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I will instruct thee and teach thee in the way which thou shalt go: I will guide thee with mine eye (Psalms 32:8 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss the issue of mentorship
I might look like this super amazon of a lady that has everything figured out, but there is a little girl in me that wants to be tantalized!
She wants you to be caring!
She needs you to be tender.
She doesn’t like it when you shout at her.
As singles in courtship, you must be careful that the TLC does not lead to bedroom! Keep the bed undefiled!
7. I want a lover-boy, not a lecturer or sermonizer
When she is tinkering with her moods, she needs you to lovingly find out what is happening and not lecture or sermonize!
It is not a classroom or church.
You are supposed to be a lover boy, not a lecturer or a pastor!
Sometimes, what your wife needs is just to know there is a husband who shows some understanding because she sometimes doesn’t even understand herself!
If you are still single and you have a lecturer or sermonizing lover, that is what will likely continue in the marriage. If it’s not something you like right now, it is in the order for you to go for counsel. Don’t walk down the aisle thinking all will just change overnight because you are now married.
8. I need you to whisper in my ears and taunt me lovingly
Your wife loves that a lot.
You just try it out.
Most husbands are too serious about reading Bible all the time or doing some office work at home.
Office work should be left at the office.
Have some family time and some “wife” time.
It would improve a lot of things.
Singles, no need to whisper anything, for now, you need more prayer whispers than ear whispers!
9. Concerning sex, make sure we both finish
This is strictly for married couples. Singles can just skip…lol
She doesn’t want to be abandoned along the mountaintop!
Sex for a man is a sure arrival.
For your wife, it is a gradual ascent, a mountain climbing, multi-orgasmic experience.
This requires a lot of skill and patience on the part of the husband to take it slowly and guide his wife to arrive before him!
10. I need you to find out my love language and speak it
Every lady has a love language.
Find out what it is and your wife’s peculiarity and simply stick with that language.
That way, you will be able to cultivate your love more effectively.
Singles, go ahead and do online tests to find what your love language is. It will stop all the language confusion at Babel of Tower and bring you into understanding one another as in the Pentecost experience.
May your marriage be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my wife genuinely
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, destroy every wrong spirit in our marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Pe 5:7 (KJV) Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Plan a surprise for your spouse / lover
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These. As I said, problems don’t just show from the blues. They have always been there and would have been hinted at because out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks.
We looked at two yesterday, let’s dive into the remaining today.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
3. Out of all my girlfriends, you are the best
This is often a logical way to manipulate the emotions of the lady. As a lady, I don’t really know what you are doing with someone who tells you out rightly that you are not the only one he is seeing. Are you encouraging adultery after marriage and giving him a go-ahead? Men don’t really change after marriage! When a man has the guts to tell you that he has several ladies as lovers including you, then as a lady you should have the guts to walk away from such affliction!
4. We don’t have to tell anybody about this relationship
When a guy begins to make this statement, your antenna should go up! Something is defective right there. There are no commitments when he hides the relationship from friends and family. There may be occasions when the parents are not interested in marriage and it is wise to keep quiet for some time, but at least, he should be willing to notify his pastor. What if he doesn’t have a pastor? The answer to that is another question. What are you doing with such a person?
5. I am just managing you and you should thank your stars
When a guy doesn’t love you, he will verbalize it one day, one way or the other. If you are sensitive, you can pick it up from his words. When a guy says he is just managing you, that sounds like wickedness to me. Probably the lady in question has a self-esteem issue, but as a lady, you don’t have any business with anybody that doesn’t value you or appreciate you as a person. After marriage, you don’t want to be treated as a doormat, you want to be valued as a true help.
He Doesn’t Love When He Says These
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be deceived
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me what I don’t know
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mat 12:34 (KJV) O generation of vipers, how can ye, being evil, speak good things? for out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disallow your relationship to be sex driven
