I will continue where I stopped two days ago. Previously, I wrote about the fact that God gave every woman the ability and capacity to be a builder.
Our text in Proverbs 14:1 KJ V says,
“Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands’.
We also talked about how we need to build according to the pattern.
Ex 25:40 And look that thou make them after their pattern, which was shewed thee in the mount.
God is the architect, He gives us the blueprint of what we should build, the material to use in building, and how we should build. It is building according to the pattern that makes us wise women who build our homes.
Today, we will be looking at how we should build our homes and families.
1. We should build with prayers
Jud 1:20-But ye, beloved, building up yourselves on your most holy faith, praying in the Holy Ghost,
Our homes and families have different aspects just like any building has different sections and areas like the sitting room, the bathroom, the bedroom, the kitchen etc. Each of these different component of the building have different functionalities and you cannot replace them with each other. In the same way, the different aspects of our homes and families need to be built up through prayers.
You must build every aspect of your home, marriage, and family with prayers. As a woman, you are not permitted to joke with prayers. Pray for each child. In fact, praying for them starts from conception. And the best way to pray for your children is in tongues as the Holy Spirit grants you utterance. You pray for and about your spouse and every detail of his life. It is an assignment. Your husband’s success should be your prayer burden. Pray for yourself because you are also part of that building. It is full-time work. There are so many aspects of your home and marriage that you build up through prayers.
2. We should build with the Word
Luk 6:47 Whosoever cometh to me, and heareth my sayings, and doeth them, I will shew you to whom he is like:
Luk 6:48 He is like a man which built an house, and digged deep, and laid the foundation on a rock: and when the flood arose, the stream beat vehemently upon that house, and could not shake it: for it was founded upon a rock.
The word of God is our only guarantee of a strong and solid foundation for our homes, marriage, and families. The infallible word of God is what ensures that what we are building stands the test of time and can weather the storms of life. So that whatever beats against our family and marriage, we will still be standing.
When we take time to build intentionally with fervent and continuous prayers and the Word of God we are wise. Don’t let us be like the foolish builder in Luke 6:49. Let’s learn to build according to the pattern God has shown us.
It is my prayer that we will be wise indeed and that the Lord will give us strength and Grace to carry on His mandate for our lives as women.
When You’re Ready for Marriage. Let’s take a look at some hints that show you are really ready for marriage.
1. You are not lonely.
This is because marriage is never the solution for loneliness. You can be married and be lonely! Ask some married folk. You are not ready for marriage if you are lonely. Adam was not lonely; he was alone. Loneliness and being alone are not the same thing.
Marriage is never meant to alleviate loneliness; rather, it is meant to supplement and provide companionship.
If you look up the word “helper,” you’ll see what I mean.
Genesis 2:18 (KJV) And the LORD God said, It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him an help meet for him.
The Amplified Bible calls it a helper and then expands on that word.
Genesis 2:18 (AMPC) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
When You’re Ready for Marriage
2. You are not looking for house help.
A woman is to be a helper rather than a house help The definitions have been established. They are not the same thing.
Depending on the circumstances, she can do the laundry, but she is not a dry cleaner or washing machine.
She hasn’t come to work her hands to the bone while her husband watches the news and football.
This is especially crucial now since there are so many career women.
If the young couple does not have housekeepers or anyone else to assist them, they must both face the labor and not delegate it to one side. This is what real love is!
This does not diminish the wife’s hard work and industriousness, as demonstrated by the virtuous woman, but it also does not render the husband superfluous in the home.
There should be “labor division” in love!
hen You’re Ready for Marriage
And this is why single should not spend weekends with boyfriends in order to secure a wedding.
That is not how it works.
You’ll have more sex (which is sinful) )and less meaningful conversations to develop your marital aspirations.
The time that should be spent getting to know each other and examining character flaws is instead spent wrapped up in each other’s embrace, in passionate sex, which is why difficulties arise after the wedding.
You never got to know that person with you on the bed.
Today, we’ll look at the signs of an unhappy or dying relationship and marriage. This will allow us to diagnose and eliminate these problems swiftly. Let’s get started.
Signs of a Dying Relationship or Marriage
1. When trust has died and has been cremated
The foundation of any marriage’s success is trust.
Create trust! Please don’t break it! Without trust, the marriage has no foundation.
How do you sever trust?
When you consistently disappoint your partner with lies and deception, trust will crumble. When confidence in a marriage is lost, the end is imminent. You cannot do without trust! Build trust deliberately through honesty.
Do everything you can to maintain trust by being truthful to a fault. Let your spouse r finance be able to line up your words with your actions! Be completely honest.
A trust may be re-established once it has been destroyed, but it takes time and perseverance.
Signs of a Dying Relationship or Marriage
2. When the couple disregards God
There is really little you can accomplish without God.
God is the one who builds homes. God is the architect of marriage.
It is a waste of time to strive to construct without God.
Psa 127:1 (KJV) Except the LORD build the house, they labour in vain that build it: except the LORD keep the city, the watchman waketh but in vain.
As a form of retaliation, some couples engage in adulterous acts. It is only a matter of time before the impending crash becomes apparent.
Iniquity is always a destructive path. Don’t toe that path!
Sin’s wages are death, thus when sin enters a marriage system, it dies by default.
I pray your marriage does not end in divorce!
I prophesy over your marriage and household, and I pray that God will protect you in Jesus’ name!
Life as a married couple is extremely demanding and requires a lot of wisdom.
There are many areas you should focus on as couples. This morning, I will be identifying just a few of these areas as we all make up our minds to work on our marriages. Singles should learn from this too as a preparation for their wedding.
Pay attention to these details, and your marriage will flourish.
Focus On These Areas In Marriage
1. You should never make your partner feel threatened.
Marriage is a collaboration, not a boss-bondmaid relationship. Nobody is better or worse than anyone else.
Learn to value one another as human beings first. The husband is the head of the household, but it does not make him superior.
The wife is to submit but that does not mean she should be muted and silenced in the home.
Husbands must come into that place of maturity to give wings to their wives to fly while wives must learn to be a help meet indeed by fully submitting to their wives and respecting them.
Focus On These Areas In Marriage
2. Never allow for adultery or infidelity.
It is never worth it, no matter how much you are tempted. Adultery will always be regarded as a dumb sin.
Extramarital affairs are frequently extremely expensive. Nothing compares to the cost of shattered trust.
Stay together and eliminate every emotional interference.
3. Never deny each other.
Don’t deprive your spouse of the enjoyment God intended for sex in marriage. Try various styles. Proper hygiene is also essential.
On the other hand, singles are to keep their bodies under and not indulge in sexual compromise.
The biblical instruction remains the same, sex should be kept till after the wedding! God is not about to change that injunction!
Focus On These Areas In Marriage
4. Maintaining secrets in a marriage is a dead end.
It is likely that you withhold certain sensitive subjects from your spouse for a better time. But no secrets, please. Be open and be transparent with one another. Whatever is covered never heals, and moreover, if your partner had to discover themselves, the trust would have been broken.
If this has happened once, forgive and move on but learn from it!
1. You will be sincere with her. One of the first indications of true love is sincerity. Love is genuinely truthful. Love is truthful to a fault. The concept that God has of marriage is that of a covenant perspective. You are one. The moment you begin to hide stuff, it’s like a beehive of troubles.
As singles in courtship, if you are not sincere, it is already founded on shaky ground. It is sincerity that eventually establishes trust. Trust, however you see it, is an important ingredient in marriage. Without it, the marriage will not survive.
If you notice that your loved one is habitually insincere, it is in order that you examine that relationship all over again.
It goes without saying that what you court is what you’ll marry. If you court the truth, you’ll enjoy it in marriage, if you court lies, your guess is as good as mine.
If there is an issue of mistrust and you are already married, seek help. Seek counsel. Don’t keep quiet till it degenerates to a point you cannot manage it.
Ways That Show You Love Her
2. You will express your love to her
Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, I really have a problem with folk who don’t appreciate the ones they love and verbalize their commitments from time to time.
Expression of love within the context of a godly courtship should be verbal, not physical. There is a way we do things in the kingdom.
When a guy begins to get physical on the first date, then your antenna should go up and you should know who you are dealing with.
You get to know a person through interaction first. Not through touch.
As a young lady, you should not be freely available to be touched, smooched, and petted when you are not married. Expression of love should be contained within the parameters of verbal communication.
In marriage, you need to understand that praise and affirmations are like food to a woman. She has to be complimented. The tendency is that if you don’t compliment her regularly, you will lose her emotionally.
Again, you need to know that complimenting her, praising her, and affirming her is actually protecting her. When you don’t do these, you increase her vulnerability because people will keep complimenting her outside.
If you are in courtship, and communication is defective, praise and affirmation are absent, you need to know it is not likely to improve after marriage.
As a guy, if you have not been constantly verbalizing your love for her, you’ve not been praising her, you really need to repent of your “sins” and then make sure you change.
If a guy grows up In a family where they are non-expressive, praise and affirmation are non-existent, he is more likely to find it difficult to naturally do all of these.
However, it is never an excuse. As a man, you have a responsibility to make your relationship/marriage work by making the needed adjustments. That is what makes you a man.
Also to note, there could be needy ladies, who are too overbearing on the man, your fiance or husband is not the Holy Spirit, he would not be able to fully satisfy some very deep longings that only God’s word will sort out.
