If you are not married, don’t demand for sexual gratification. If there is respect, you won’t want his/her virtue compromised to satisfy your own lust. Real love and respect is waiting.
2. Communication
Don’t discuss your past, inadequacies and failures in great detail at the inception of the relationship. Some details are better left until there is acceptance, trust and understanding between the two parties.
However, basic issues like health status, genotype, family history and some other crucial issues need to be discussed as early as possible. If he/she finds out years later, mistrust can easily rear up its heads.
3. Chastity
Don’t start kissing someone you met two hours ago. Don’t end up in a car or in corner in a sexual encounter with a total stranger. That is gross irresponsibility and indiscipline. Moreover, you will be offending God.
4. Emotional Needs
Do not depend on one another for the fulfillment and satisfaction of every emotional need. Your partner is not the Holy Spirit. Participate in activities outside your romantic relationship. Don’t be parochial. Be creative and be open to ideas that will further move your relationship forward. Learn, read books, attend seminars together.
5. Selflessness
Guard against selfishness. Both sides should be involved in giving. Love should be reciprocal. It is not a one way affair, it is a song done by a duet. In marriage, there are no spectators; both are actors striving to get better and sowing energies and time into the marriage to make it work.
Stop quarreling everyday of your courtship. Follow the principles of God and stop every compromise. Make sure your foundation for marriage is rightly laid.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Our love is rekindled daily. I love my spouse and I am committed to our marriage.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes and show me what I know not.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 6:7 GNB Do not deceive yourselves; no one makes a fool of God. You will reap exactly what you plant.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Talk to God. Pour your heart to Him now
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY John 1:15-51
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We started on this yesterday!
4. Blame Shift
You are constantly blamed for their woes, problems, difficulties, lack, failure and unhappiness.
You are told that you are the reason for any misfortune in their lives.
You are constantly reminded that everything with them was okay until you came into their lives.
5. Withdrawal
They are adept in withdrawing into their shells in order to punish you and demand your attention. They disengage and use neglect, abandonment, and measured withdrawals to punish, frighten and intimidate you.
6. You are always in the wrong
They make you feel that they are always right, and you are wrong. They would arrange facts and sentiments to prove that to you over and over again until you start thinking there is a curse on you, or that some people are fighting you spiritually from your village.
7. Control over you finances
They try to control your finances and how you spend money. Your credit card is permanently with them.
They tell you what to buy and what not to buy. You are told that you are a careless spender and and you cannot mange money well.
They end up emptying your account from month to month and keep threatening you that they will leave you and you will not be able to survive.
You know what?
God has made you free from such manipulative relationships!
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Psa 124:7 (KJV)
The snare of the soul has been broken by the Lord Jesus Christ. Do not subject yourself under any weak and beggarly element again! You have been made free!
I pray for all who might be in an emotionally draining and abusive alliance. I break the power of such deceptions and manipulations in Jesus name and I proclaim you free in Jesus name!
Whosoever the son of man has made free is free indeed! You are free from today in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The eyes of my understanding are opened to see these signs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 22:24 Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go:
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship when
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Pro 6
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Emotional abuse is a weapon normally used to control and bring dominance upon the other person. This is often because the abuser has past childhood wounds and insecurities that are still fresh, mostly because they were abused themselves.
Do not cope with an emotionally abusive relationship. At the end of the day, it is never worth it.
Emotionally abusive relationships end up damaging your self-esteem and dignity. It often involves a consistent pattern of verbal attacks, threats, bullying, and unending criticism, using tools like manipulation, intimidation, and shaming.
In an emotionally abusive relationship, a form of deception is involved. This is because the victim usually would not see the experience as abusive. Coping mechanisms of denial are developed in order to subdue the attack.
However, the effects of long-term emotional abuse will cause emotional trauma and upheaval resulting in several dysfunctions and complications.
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Emotional abuse can be debilitating and traumatic. God wants you free from emotionally abusive relationships.
Look at the scriptures:
Our soul is escaped as a bird out of the snare of the fowlers: the snare is broken, and we are escaped.
Psa 124:7 (KJV)
Now, let’s identify some sure signs that you may be in an emotionally abusive relationship.
1. Your Individuality is in question You are viewed as an extension of themselves rather than as an individual. Your opinions are disrespected and you are constantly reminded that without them, you are nothing. Your suggestions and ideas are trampled. When you find yourself in such, it is time to walk away.
2. Unending Chastisement You are corrected or chastised for your behaviors, almost all the time and publicly too. There is nothing you do that is right. Every word you speak is an error.
3. False Accusation You are dubbed “over-sensitive” in order that you can continue coping with the unending abuse and manipulations. You are constantly told to “grow up!”
To be continued tomorrow…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The eyes of my understanding are opened to see these signs.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open the eyes of my understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 6:5 (KJV) Deliver thyself as a roe from the hand of the hunter, and as a bird from the hand of the fowler.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from every wrong relationship when you see these signs.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Pro 7
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The ultimate goal of every marriage is for both the husband and the wife to grow increasingly in love and intimate with each other.
When you look at your marriage, can you say of the truth that you and your spouse are growing in love?
You may start out not being so close with each other in terms of understanding each other, but as the years roll by, you should be growing in intimacy.
However, it takes some couples longer years to grow to that level of intimacy. Some couples are like cat and mouse. They have not been able to work out their differences.
It is like a rat race, the husband always wants the wife to be exactly like him and vice versa. They always want to fashion their wife into what they want or what they feel she should be like. The same thing with the wife, always trying to make her husband into her image of what a husband should be.
God has not called us to the ministry of changing our spouses. It is a futile ministry, a ministry that will never prosper. If anything, you will end up having a spouse who is a clone of himself or herself.
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Allow your spouse to grow at his/her pace. Don’t try to change your spouse. Your spouse is not essentially your primary responsibility in terms of monitoring him /her. Do more prayer and intercession for your spouse and allow God to get through to him/her.
Don’t let us be too hasty in judging our spouse. Let’s learn to rather commend them to God and to the word of his grace which is able to build up and give them an inheritance among them that are sanctified, as instructed in Acts 20:32
Here are some characters to watch out for that can hinder intimacy in marriage
1. Immaturity Learn to handle things in your marriage maturely. Learn to separate issues from your spouses’ personality.
2. Being temperamental When you are too strong on your personality or being a difficult person.
3. Being too emotional
4. Not forgiving easily
5. Not respecting your spouse as an individual and God’s child.
6. Not being easy to talk with
7. Lack of understanding If you don’t understand that you and your spouse are different and that you see things from different standpoints, intimacy is going to be difficult
All these and much more are things that can prevent any marriage from experiencing the intimacy they so much desire.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I choose to be intimate with my spouse
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to love my spouse with all my heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gen 2:24[NKJV] Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and they shall become one flesh.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC Couples camp meeting
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Eccl 1
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Sade has been abused since she was young. Almost everybody who met her wanted to abuse her. From her cousins to her Uncles, and then to the gateman. From fellow schoolmates to friends and neighbors, it has been the same story. It is as though she has a magnetic entity in her body that draws people filled with lust.
She got born again and the story did not change. She is completely frustrated and did not what to do. At the root of it all, she discovered she has grown to a point where she actually entertained herself with abusive thoughts. She looked forward to being abused unconsciously and she would often position herself in such scenarios by following guys she barely know to their homes for sex romps
She is completely frustrated. She has prayed, read her Bible, and fasted, yet the problem persisted.
Well, the main issue about Sade’s problem is that she has an addiction; and it is called sex addiction. She thought she was just being an emotional person. But she is wrong.
It is even possible she has not yet slept with anybody, aside from all the touch and kisses, and yet be sex addicted. This is because not all sex addicts need to have sex to feed their addiction, they only need to fantasize.
Such people can have sexual pleasure by just viewing pornography, by thinking about a certain person that has been tattooed into their brain, by a certain object or image they have photographed into their brain.
The brain has then attached sexual pleasure to these persons, objects, or fantasies such that all they need is a thought away. And of course, because this is dominant in the brain, anytime an opportunity presents itself to express these carnal thoughts, they simply give in. This is why such people often say they cannot say No.
Such people will certainly need a form of therapy in addition to the renewal of mind exercises that is persistent to become free. I will write more on this in the ensuing days.
If you find yourself in such a scenario and you believe you need help, you can send me a mail at khcpartners@gmail.com or send a WhatsApp message via +234 802 350 7395 for private premium therapy that can be of help.
Have a great day.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am free from all forms of emotional addictions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, deliver me from all forms of emotional addictions.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:1-2 (NKJV)I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that you present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable to God, which is your reasonable service. 2 And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Seek help today
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Rom 12
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