Marriage is a covenant. Know this and know peace! It is sad to know that there are married people who are entangled in sexual affairs with their colleagues, subordinates or superiors at work. How I wish you know the implication of what you are doing?
How I wish your eyes would open to see the turmoil and anguish that awaits you, then you would have escaped for your dear life.
Adultery ruins, it destroys, it tears families apart, it transfers wrong spirits to innocent children, it opens the home to invasion of demonic attacks, the list is endless.
Above all, God’s principles and spiritual laws are violated, you risk losing all of God’s support in your life. It’s an unsafe place to be!
Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. – Hebrews 13:4 (MSG)
Sexual intimacy between a man and a woman is sacred. It is not a carnal act neither is it an evil act.
The Bible advises that this sacredness of sexual intimacy between a husband and a wife must be guarded.
Marriage is to be honoured. It is an institution that must be respected. One of the ways you respect the marriage institution either as a husband or wife is to guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy.
To be continued.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will guard the sacredness of my marriage.
PRAYERSFOR THE DAY Lord, give me the wisdom I need to run my marriage well.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All of you should honor marriage. You should keep the marriage bed pure. God will judge the person who commits adultery. He will judge everyone who commits sexual sins. –Hebrew 13:4
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List a few ways you need to make changes in your marital bed. Follow through.
We used to hear this phrase about marriage a lot long time ago, but nowadays, we hardly hear such a thing. The world has gone digital, fast and every body seems busy.
Knowledge has made people to replace old values with modern ones. The question is does modernization makes our conclusions about marriage right?
The modern day view of marriage is contractual while the good old days view marriage as in Gods eyes as a covenant.
Contractual view says, you do this, then I do that’. While covenant says, I will do this for you because I am committed to you. It doesn’t really matter what you do or don’t do’.
Marriage as a contract is always based on negotiations, convenience, and protection of self. Each spouse maintain their lanes and do what is expected. Otherwise the marriage contact does not work and they go their separate ways which means separation or divorce.
In this case, marriage is not for a common goal. There is no fulfilling purpose or destiny together in view. There is no sense of purpose or God bringing the couples together to fulfill a mandate or an assignment.
All that is involved is ‘I am attracted to you, and you to me. We have a love connection between us and we are good to go’.
Marriage is for better for worse. This is a little scary which brings with it a sense of awe. Two hearts beating as one is a mystery. That mystery can only be unraveled by the help of divinity.
Here, there is a sense of a divine assignment. Marriage is not just lived on their terms but on the terms of God, who is the covenant witness and judge in the marriage union.
Each couples live their lives following a particular road map created by the creator. That means there is a supervisory role performed by God.
The husband cannot just do whatever he likes to do, neither can the wife do whatever she likes or wishes in the marriage.
There are guiding principles, guiding both husband and wife. There is a race set before each one to run, and each one runs with passion looking to God for grace to accomplish his/her race.
Here, the wife is protected as well or as much as the husband is protected too. Both husband and wife have a common father who protects their interest.
It is not based on human standards that the rights of the husband is protected above the wife. Where the woman is subjected to servitude. Or in some cultures, where the wife is overly protected above the husband.
Marriage is indeed till death so us part.
May God grant us grace to so His will.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have an understanding of what marriage is, my home is blessed
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, let the eyes of my understanding be enlightened.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY And when she had done giving him drink, she said, I will draw water for thy camels also, until they have done drinking. Genesis 24:19 (KJV)
There are five levels of communication in marriage. Communication is simply talking, but of cause, there are more things involved than just talking. A healthy conversation involves not just what is said but what is heard.
In essence, communication is a two-way conversation that involves speaking and hearing. The two spouses must form the conscious habit of allowing the other spouse to express himself or herself. While he/ she speaks, the other partner should be actively listening.
Not listening for pleasure, not listening for information but should practice empathic listening. This is putting yourself in the conversation. Trying to understand and feel the impulse of the speaker.
It is unhealthy to dominate a conversation without waiting at intervals to get feedback, to check whether your hearer is hearing the right thing, to know how he/she is processing the information. The aim of your conversation, especially in marriage, is for your partner to understand what you are saying and then obey you.
Listening should not also be done with the intention of giving a reply that will defend your status or what you represent in the marriage covenant.
I think we cannot also have a good conversation with our spouse if our interpretation of what marriage is, is defective. Until we see our marriage from the viewpoint of it being a covenant relationship, every other thing becomes loop-sided.
What we see most couples practicing is a contract and not covenant marriage. This is so important. It is a contract (which could be unwritten and informal) when the marriage is based on mutual benefit. That is, we are both doing something for each other.
For example, I will be nice to you, if you bring in enough money. Or, if you help out in the house, I will prepare the meals. The opposite obtains if your spouse doesn’t do what is expected. I will be very cold and unresponsive to you if you hurt my feelings. I will be uncaring to you if you disrespect me.
Marriage is a covenant in which each partner takes up his/her responsibility. The wife is to submit fully. The husband takes up his responsibility to love her like Christ does irrespective of what she does. It is the aim of a covenant relationship to please and serve the other person despite what he/ she does.
It’s kind of difficult right? Very hard. Especially if you have been to some school of hardknocks where you have been deeply hurt.
If you are starting on a clean note and you have this understanding, how blessed you are.
No matter how farther away we have gone, in Christ there is always a way out. He shows us and leads us in the way since He is the way.
We need to retrace our steps and in humility, accept what works. When a marriage is not working, both partners are responsible. It is not just one person’s fault but the two parties have their contributing factors.
Tomorrow, I will attempt to summarize the five levels of communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best-selling author Gary Chapman.
I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
Gen 2:25 (AMP) And the man and his wife were both naked and were not embarrassed or ashamed in each other’s presence.
Mr. and Mrs. Johnson have been married for three years. Blessed with two vibrant princes, their family seems ideal, observing it from the external.
They seem to have everything going for them, good jobs, good pay, nice car, wonderful apartment, yearly vacation, and more goodies anybody would pray for…except for one thing…Mrs. Johnson is unhappy and her energy for “family” is fast ebbing out.
The only reason she is unhappy is because of her handsome husband, the man has changed! Or so it seemed. He doesn’t talk again, he internalizes, makes decisions alone, and acts like his wife has no brain!
This treatment, deliberate or not, can be debilitating for the woman in the house with attendant consequences that are as varied as they could be dangerous.
Now can I tell you in one swoop why keeping secrets within marriage can be very unwise?
It is just this: There is no secret you keep that will not be found out.
It is better for you to open up yourself rather than for your loved one to find out. When they find out themselves, it will erode trust. The devil will capitalise on that, harass their minds and tell them there are more things you are keeping away. Once this happens, it affects everything, even your prayers!
Take a look:
Mar 4:22 (KJV) For there is nothing hid, which shall not be manifested; neither was any thing kept secret, but that it should come abroad.
So, it will be brought open eventually, you wouldn’t want him or her to be the one bringing it to open!
Why would a guy marry a lady only for her to find out later that he already had a child somewhere? I feel that is unfair, really.
Why would couples hide phone messages from each other? I cannot fathom that! Really!
You are married, for God’s sake!
There are some things we might have picked up from cultural affinities, but culture is not scripture!
There are some things we might have picked up from parents, but observation is not revelation!
Why would you build a house in town without your wife’s knowledge? You see there is a difference between marriage and bondage!
Your spouse is given unto you to help you, unless you want to say God is lying, and you know that is not possible.
When you hide stuffs from each other, you have snuffed out the life out of your helper! He or she would become a frustration, almost a hell rather than help! That will not be your portion!
She is going to definitely react to that, and there are some reactions that can be far too much that the whole family is set on edge!
It is even more terrible to now see that what you don’t discuss with your spouse at home is freely discussed with some lover out there!
Yes, I know there could be the possibility of being disappointed by your loved one when you trusted her with some information in the past, but you see marriage is about learning and growing together.
The solution is not always to move away, hide or cut off from the one you are in covenant with but to grow together.
Couples need to understand that the information you are entrusted with should not be found out there with some close friends or even your parents.
Do not allow anybody to put a wedge between you and your loved one!
Eph 4:25 (MSG) What this adds up to, then, is this: no more lies, no more pretense. Tell your neighbor the truth. In Christ’s body we’re all connected to each other, after all. When you lie to others, you end up lying to yourself.
Be open to each other. Don’t hide things from each other. It will bring healing. It will bring freedom. It will erase suspicions. It will build trust.
Yes, I know there might be some difficulty in opening up, not because you want to keep secrets but because that is the way you have been brought up or probably what you observed from your parents. That can be valid.
But its validity is not an excuse in any way. What you must strive to do is to get better everyday, keep learning and keep making adjustments in other to have a good life and be able to raise a great family.
Men, God has entrusted a lot of responsibility into your hands and you cannot fail God. God has made you the head that the whole family might see through you because the eyes are located in the head. You are to give them light and lead them in God’s way.
One day, you will actually become a grand dad! And you really want to be proud of the dynasty that God will raise through you if Christ tarries.
Your role as a man or husband is an assignment from God. Lives are entrusted into your hands and I pray for you this morning that you will not fail God.
Sincerity is not stupidity. Being open does not translate to vulnerability. Being open is strength because it will strengthen your marriage!
Keeping secrets can be a strength when it is not kept from your spouse.
This is how to know if there is a big problem: You can keep secrets from your spouse, but you cannot keep it from those outside! Now, that really needs some attention and counseling!
I pray that God will open your eyes the more and help you to make necessary adjustments in Jesus’ name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am open to my loved one. I will not hide things from him/her
PRAYER FOR THE DAY
I receive grace to be sincere
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Mar 4:22 (MSG) We’re not keeping secrets, we’re telling them; we’re not hiding things, we’re bringing them out into the open.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read books on how to be a good spouse
The Covenant of help was taught by Pastor Sophia on the 16th of May 2021 at Shouts of Grace Center, Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija-UI Road, Ibadan.
To Listen to the audio of this message, kindly go HERE or HERE
Times and seasons are in the jurisdiction of God.
God is cutting a covenant with us where he is arising, saying that it’s our time and season.
What part do I have to play in the covenant?
1. Put the word of His help in your heart and on your lips. Meditate on it
I need help and I also need to come to the realization that I need help in my destiny, marriage, ministry, career e.t.c.
Isaiah 50:7
Get busy with God, meditating on scriptures, praying, worshipping and you won’t have time for the flesh – genesis 49:25, 1 Chronicles 12:22, Psalm 46:5
The word of God never dies.
2. Believe the word
Never doubt God’s word regardless of the circumstance.
God’s every word is interwoven. God can do more than we can conceive. The word of God eliminates the agenda of the devil.
3. Be consumed by the word
There is always work to do whichever way you take, whether the way of the covenant or the way of the world.
4. Thank God for the word of help
The process of faith is not complete without gratitude.
Focus on Him. The process of obtaining from God will have to do with all of you. Your whole life, attention, thoughts. e.t.c
God is a jealous God and so he requires that you give him your all.
5. Be sensitive to the Holy Spirit
God will accomplish his help by his spirit
God wants us to show forth and show off and do the impossible in your life.
