For the next 4 weeks, we will be looking at what it means to be one flesh. To make it easier, I have made this article into a series, and today, we will start with the first part.
Part 1 – The Mystery of Oneness
When God said in Genesis 2:24, “A man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh,” He wasn’t just talking about physical union or romance. He was revealing a divine mystery — one that reflects His own nature of unity, love, and purpose.
Marriage was God’s idea, not man’s. When He created Eve out of Adam’s rib, it wasn’t because Adam was lonely and needed company. It was because God saw that His creation was incomplete without a counterpart who would complete, not compete. Eve was not another version of Adam — she was the missing piece of his wholeness. Together, they reflected the image of God more fully.
To be one flesh, therefore, is not simply to live together or share responsibilities. It means to be joined in spirit, in purpose, and in destiny. It means that what affects one affects the other. It means there’s no “his” and “hers” — it’s “ours.” Our dreams, our struggles, our wins, our calling.
For singles, this truth invites deep preparation. It’s not enough to desire marriage; it’s important to become the kind of whole person who can merge with another whole person under God’s authority. Emotional maturity, spiritual grounding, and purpose clarity are vital. You cannot merge into one flesh if you are still fragmented within yourself.
For the married, this oneness is a lifelong journey. It doesn’t happen automatically after the wedding; it’s cultivated daily through understanding, forgiveness, communication, and prayer. It’s about consistently choosing unity even when differences arise. One flesh means we win together, we grow together, and we heal together.
Marriage is not only about companionship and love; it is also a calling to serve God together. When two people unite under Christ, their home becomes a platform for ministry. Joshua declared, “As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord” (Joshua 24:15). This statement captures the essence of a Christ-centered marriage that serves God as one.
When couples view marriage as a shared ministry, they see beyond their personal desires and embrace kingdom purpose. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that “a cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” The third strand in every successful Christian marriage is Christ, who strengthens the bond and empowers the couple to fulfill their divine assignment.
Serving together does not always mean standing on a pulpit. It can mean raising godly children, showing hospitality, giving generously, or simply being a light to neighbors and colleagues.
Be devoted to one another in love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. (Romans 12:10–11)
Marriage as ministry requires intentionality. It means praying together, setting spiritual goals as a family, and using your unique gifts in unity. When couples serve God together, their marriage becomes more than a partnership; it becomes a testimony of Christ’s love. Such a marriage not only strengthens the couple but also impacts their community and generations to come.
The Dangers of Sexual Sins in a Relationship or Marriage
The bible makes us understand that God created sex as a beautiful gift, meant for reproduction, intimacy, and bonding within the covenant of marriage. Furthermore, we know that our bodies are not our own; they belong to God and are temples of the Holy Spirit.
When we use our bodies in ways that dishonor Him, we grieve His Spirit. Over time, if we normalize sin, our hearts can grow hard, and the consequences are grave.
God gave them over to a depraved mind, so that they do what ought not to be done.Romans 1:28 (NIV)
If you’ve struggled with an addiction for years, it may feel impossible to stop, but Jesus, the Light of the world, can break even the strongest habit.
If you are a believer and find yourself trapped in sexual sin, the enemy will whisper, “It’s normal… everyone does it.” That’s a lie. Your new life in Christ is pure and righteous.
Dearly beloved, I beseech you as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul (1 Peter 2:11, KJV).
No sexual sin is harmless. It wars against your soul, dulls your spiritual senses, and hinders intimacy with God.
Take a moment to ask honestly: Why do I indulge in sexual sins?
Boredom or idleness? Then fill your time with purposeful activities like Bible study, prayer, service, exercise, or learning new skills.
Pornography or sexual media? If you’re trying to break free from sexual sins, yet consume sexual content, you’re feeding the very habit you’re fighting. Jesus said, “If your right hand causes you to sin, cut it off”. That means removing triggers without compromise.
Here are practical ways to be free from sexual sins
1. Run to Jesus first: Only He can cleanse, forgive, and give you the strength to walk in purity.
2. Replace bad habits: Read Scripture daily, join a prayer group, serve in your church. Idle hands and minds are the devil’s playground.
3. Remove triggers: Delete sexual content, unfollow tempting accounts, and get rid of romantic/pornographic books and media.
4. Confide in someone mature: Accountability is powerful.
5. Stay persistent in prayer: Victory is often a process. Keep leaning on Jesus daily.
If you are single, you need to guard your mind and eyes, use your single years to grow spiritually and in purpose, not to indulge lust, and above all, learn self-control. It’s the same discipline you’ll need in marriage.
And to the married, understand that sexual intimacy is God’s provision against sexual temptation. If you struggle with sexual sin in marriage, it may signal a deeper intimacy or communication gap. Address it together prayerfully. Also, protect your sexual bond by keeping your desire directed toward your spouse, not self-gratification.
Our part in the marriage covenant is to obey every instruction in the word of God. This should be your resolve, that your marriage before God is obeying Ephesians 5: 22-26, whether you feel like obeying or not, is not the issue. See what it says;
For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. –Ephesians 5:22-26 (NLT)
We also despise whatever we feel or think, which keeps us from obeying the scripture above, just as Jesus despised the shame of the cross. We do this by keeping our eyes on Jesus, the champion who initiates and perfects our faith. Because of the joy awaiting him, he endured the cross, disregarding its shame. Now he is seated in the place of honor beside God’s throne. Necessity is laid on us to carry our cross of fulfilling our marriage covenant.
The Bible says;
If you refuse to take up your cross and follow me, you are not worthy of being mine. –Matthew 10:38 (NLT)
We become worthy of the sacrifice of Jesus when we carry our cross daily and follow Jesus. We carry our cross by obeying Him despite how or what we feel like or don’t feel like doing to and for our spouse.
Our marriage is a responsibility that we must not fail to fulfill, it is spelled out in Ephesians 5: 22-26. What husbands should focus on doing as well as what wives should focus on doing, each party must focus on his/her part of the deal.
We owe our spouse to appropriately respond to our part in our covenant with them. To make sure we provide a conducive environment that will not leave our spouse vulnerable to the attacks and lies of the devil.
We owe our spouses to conduct ourselves in such a way that makes them comfortable in our presence; we do this by being submissive, loving, caring, forgiving, available, etc.
We owe our spouses to be covenant partners in all ways and all aspects of our lives and existence, whether spiritual, in the soul realm, or physically.
We owe our spouses to surround them so that we shut the door against the senseless and foolish sin of adultery and every form of emotional affairs.
I pray God grants us understanding.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I will not fail God and my Spouse, I keep the covenant of marriage, and I am a good wife/ husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name Jesus, I declare that I have the help of the Holy Spirit concerning my life and marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: For wives, this means submit to your husbands as to the Lord. For a husband is the head of his wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of his body, the church. As the church submits to Christ, so you wives should submit to your husbands in everything. For husbands, this means love your wives, just as Christ loved the church. He gave up his life for her to make her holy and clean, washed by the cleansing of God’s word. –Ephesians 5:22-26 (NLT)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Make a list of the things you need to make amends on and start working on them.
Apart from the fact that marriage is a wonderful relationship with the one you love, there is also the responsibility part. There is something always there to remind us of this truth. Yet for some of us, our flesh, stubborn self, ego, revenge, tit for tat, strife, and unforgiving spirit keep us constantly on loggerheads with our spouse.
When you view your marriage from another perspective, from the perspective of Covenant, it will change the way you approach your marriage.
My husband, during one of our midweek services, taught along this line. It was such a blessing and it changed my perspective about my marriage forever.
God is cutting a new covenant with His people. To God, our marriage is about the covenant and not just about our spouse.
And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants. And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land. –Jeremiah 32:39 – 41 (NLT)
More so, God was in Christ when He cut a new covenant with us by His blood. Jesus became both the offering and the offerer when He had to fulfill the demands of the law to set us free from death and its consequences. Jesus took the cross, suffered great agony, and endured such shame and pain that He might see us free.
When you begin to see your marriage as a vital part of you, and that Jesus paid the price for you, you will have no choice but to sit up.
Just like the Israelites, Pharaoh wanted to negotiate them out of taking their children, livestock, and all that belonged to them. They were wise enough to know that God was giving them a total and complete deliverance that include all they had.
Your marriage to God is all about the covenant. There is a higher purpose; there is a more important agenda in the father’s heart, which is total deliverance.
Jesus didn’t just die for our spirits not to be lost in hell. He died for everything about our lives; our health, children, marriage, finances, mental health, emotional life, everything.
We owe God to respond back in gratitude, faithfulness, and obedience to our part of the covenant.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY: I will not fail God and my Spouse, I keep the covenant of marriage, and I am a good wife/ husband
PRAYER FOR THE DAY: Father in the name Jesus, I declare that I have the help of the Holy Spirit concerning my life and marriage
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY: And I will give them one heart and one purpose: to worship me forever, for their own good and for the good of all their descendants. And I will make an everlasting covenant with them: I will never stop doing good for them. I will put a desire in their hearts to worship me, and they will never leave me. I will find joy doing good for them and will faithfully and wholeheartedly replant them in this land. –Jeremiah 32:39 – 41 (NLT)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY: Make a list of the things you need to make amends on and start working on them.
