Levels of Communication in Marriage – Part 4

Levels of Communication in Marriage – Part 4

Reading Time: 2 minutes

COUPLES –

Continued from yesterday

This type of conversation is not just limited to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The wife’s or husband’s opinion is needed and necessary.

For example,
‘Are the children eating rice this afternoon?’ ‘I don’t think it will be the best option for them. They need more vegetables in their diet’.

It is important to note that, the question, what do you think about….is so important in husband-wife conversations.

Your husband or wife’s opinion matters and don’t want them feeling like they are not smart. If the wife is just accepting every decision made and is not really a part of the decision-making process and involved in the intellectual aspect of thinking through, there will eventually be problems later on in the marriage.

4. Emotional Talk.

‘Let me tell you how I feel’.

In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves because we are what and how we feel.

We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that that’s the way we feel.

We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. I am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse’s feelings.

It is more difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are two very different things

‘I feel that guy is a thief’.

‘I feel the car will break down’

‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.

When you share your feelings, you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered.

When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.

Couples should aim at growing together into this fourth level of communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.

In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of Communication and you both can become intimate couples. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My marriage will be a blessing to many

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray in the Spirit

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Psalm 30-32

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Instructions

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Declarations

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Prayer Points

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Levels of Communication in Marriage – Part 2

Levels of Communication in Marriage – Part 2

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Continued from yesterday

There are five levels of Communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best selling author Gary Chapman.
I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.

1. The Hallway talker

In this type of conversation no intimacy is developed or worked at. This conversation doesn’t involve wanting to know the feeling or thought process or pattern of the other person.
The conversation is on autodrive.

You have a particular way of response to what is said or asked. Example,

‘How are you doing?’.

‘Fine’.

‘How are the kids?’

They have gone to school.’

The essence of communicating with each other is develop intimacy. No deep communication, no intimacy. And intimacy is the essence of marriage.

Why am I married if I can’t enjoy love, acceptance, understanding, oneness, sincerity and transparency?

Every married couple, should aim at climbing the steps of communication to further develop the intimacy between them.

You can’t be involved in monosyllable answers and expect intimacy to be developed.

If couples are not careful or well discerning, twenty years of their marred life will pass so quickly and they will discover they have not improved on their communication and that they are still in the ‘hall way’ method of communicating.

They were distracted by work, a busy schedule, distracted with the children and yet each spouse were just coping and not really pleased with each other.

The children are grown and they are now left with each other to deal with the hurts piled up for so many years and not talked about.

May God in His mercy send help to us out of Zion in Jesus name.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I have the wisdom of God

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Oh Lord, help me to communicate well with my spouse

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Jer 33:3 (KJV)Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Pray in the Spirit

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Leviticus 19-21

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Instructions

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Declarations

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Prayer Points

This Short Course on Recovery From Hurts and Disappointments Will Help you.


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How To Forge Ahead In Marriage

How To Forge Ahead In Marriage

Reading Time: 2 minutes

COUPLES –

Several years ago, the weather was really hot. The power was out. One particular night, power was restored and I woke my hubby to put on the air conditioner. I usually enjoy him doing stuff like that for me. He woke up and as he was getting out of bed, he discovered that the whole rug was flooded with water.

What happened was that the sink in the bathroom was blocked, someone (probably one of the boys) left the tap on and when power was restored, the brother staying with us switched on the pumping machine and before we knew it, our room was simply flooded!

This was a little past 12.00 am and we had no choice but to remove the rug and start mopping. You can bet it was not funny at all. Thank God for a good, hardworking hubby like mine who did the job. (I did a little too).

My point this morning is that if your sink is blocked, be ready for some sleepless nights, unnecessary mopping, and the like.

Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)

In marriage, this same principle applies to your communication sink. Once it is blocked, you require extra work. Repair and remove every blockage affecting your communication. It only causes troubles uncalled for.

What could cause blockages in your communication sink and how can you handle it?

That is what I will discuss tomorrow.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
I know how to communicate with my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I am a good listener. I am sensitive to my spouse.

PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
I pray, Lord, that you teach me by your Spirit to know how to communicate to my spouse with the right words and at the right time in Jesus Name

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them. -Proverbs 8:8 (KJV)

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Have a meaningful discussion with your spouse today

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Daniel 1

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Instructions

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Declarations

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Prayer Points

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One Important Ingredient In Every Marriage – Part 2

One Important Ingredient In Every Marriage – Part 2

Reading Time: 2 minutes

COUPLES –

Continued from yesterday…

The issue of communication in marriage cannot be over emphasized. Think about it, before that relationship started, you had to communicate your love to her.

In preparing for the wedding, you had to do a lot of communication.
The problem is a lot of couples stop communicating after marriage.

Words are powerful. Jesus said words are spirits. Spirits don’t die, therefore words don’t die. Jesus said you will account for everything you say.

You can build your marriage with right words and you can ruin it with wrong words. Whilst doing my Master’s Degree programme in Communication and Language Arts, a professor told us in class something simple but powerful.

In communication, the speaker and the hearer are very important. Until what is said is perceived and understood by the receiver, there is no communication. The question is “are you listening to her?”

Spend time with your spouse. Discuss from time to time. If you don’t give your spouse attention, you will be shocked of the extent he/she can go just to get attention.

In some countries, listeners are hired and paid just to listen to women talk. That is how important communication is.

Whatever happens in your marriage, don’t stop communicating. Learn your spouse’s love language, that is his/her password!

You see, out of the abundance, of the heart, the mouth speaks…
If you are on his/her mind, there will be communication! When you are rendered incommunicado in a marriage for whatever excuse, it is not a good place to be.

If your marriage is defective, you can still make amends today!

He stands at the door of your heart and knocks. If you open the door for him he will come in right now and realign your marriage.

May God give you more understanding.

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
My mouth is full of right words. The opening of my mouth is unto wisdom and grace.

PRAYERS FOR THE DAY
Spirit of God, fill my mouth with right words over my spouse, children and family

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
Pro 18:4 The words of a man’s mouth are as deep waters, and the wellspring of wisdom as a flowing brook.

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Fix a time for a hearty discussion

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Matt 15

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Instructions

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Declarations

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Prayer Points

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How To Deal With Baggages In Marriage – Part 2

How To Deal With Baggages In Marriage – Part 2

Reading Time: 2 minutes

Yesterday we learned about baggages in marriage, that we all have and come into our marriage with different kinds of baggage.

We also learned that these baggages are unresolved issues from our past, our background, and from our childhood experiences. These baggages or bags or luggages have to be emptied and the content exposed and dealt with.

We established that in marriage no secrets are allowed. Everything must be open and talked about.

And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Gen 2:25 (KJV) 

Today, we will be looking at the various types of baggage we carry into marriage. Most of these we don’t even know we carry. Rest comes to our wearied souls as promised by Jesus only when we learn to come unto him in total surrender and then confess our faults one to another.

Types of Baggage

  • Relationship Baggage

This type of baggage is from our childhood relationships. Where we felt rejected, unloved, neglected, or criticized. Where we have a sense of shame or a low self-esteemed of ourselves. For whatever reasons we feel not up to the standard of other people.

  • Spiritual Baggage

Here we have learned to combine spirituality with lies and other vices. We grow up in church yet do a lot of bad stuff, like steal offerings, watch pornography in the church toilet or during sermons, sleep with a unit member, and still hide under being spiritual.

  • Moral Baggage

When you have this type of baggage, your sense of judgment is warped. You cannot decertify between good and bad. You even call good bad. You don’t know what is morally right. You smoke weed, you get involved with lesbianism, watch pornography, gamble, and the like.

  • Emotional Baggage

You were in several relationships that never worked or were involved with different ladies/ men and had emotional affairs with them. Maybe you were involved sexually with them in other to keep the relationship.

  • Physical Baggage

Here you kept your distance from people; this is similar to relational baggage. You enjoy solitude. You don’t want or like to associate with people. You suspect everybody and feel everyone is bad.

  • Sexual Baggage

With this, you are involved with all manner of sexual escapades. Sex toys, threesome, abortion, sex with strange men and women, prostitution, one-night stand, sex for material gains, etc.

Now that we have an idea of the type of baggages we may be carrying, these are the steps involved in dealing with them.

1. Unpack Your Bag: Stop hiding your bags, bring them to the open and be willing and ready to unpack.

2. Unload: Seek help from counselors, don’t try to handle things alone. You also need someone to be accountable to.

3. Be Patient: Don’t be too much in a hurry, be patient and follow due process.

4. Lighten Your Load by Forgiven: Forgive all those you have to forgive including yourself.

5. Take Classes Together: You need information, so you and your spouse needs all the education you can get.

6. Let Go Of Past Hurts: It’s important you let go and keep them in your past, so that you can experience new life.

God bless your marriage!

CONFESSION FOR THE DAY
Rest comes to my soul

PRAYER FOR THE DAY
Oh Lord, help me to be open about my baggages

THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
And they were both naked, the man and his wife, and were not ashamed. – Genesis 2:25 (KJV) 

ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY
Share this devotional

BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY
Genesis 2

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Instructions

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Declarations

Fasting and Prayer 2023 – Prayer Points

This Short Course on Recovery From Hurts and Disappointments Will Help you.


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COUPLES (Video): Couples, Orgasm, and Sex (70% off ) Coupon Code: DEEP Go HERE


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Join Telegram Channel
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Extraordinary Services at Shouts of Grace Nation!

Do you live in the city of Ibadan and you don’t have a place of worship yet? It will be a great honour to have you in our Services. Be there! Inquiries: +234 802 350 7395 (Whatsapp).
Location: Joke Plaza, Beside Trans Amusement Park, Bodija – UI Road, Ibadan
Find out more about Shouts of Grace Nation HERE


We have premium resources, training, modules, and counseling session packages. Click HERE