God created sexual intercourse to be enjoyed within the marital sanctity. The devil took this and perverted that truth. Today, homosexuals and pedophiles are pushing for rights. The truth of God’s word is being contested, resisted, and opposed like never before. But you see, God’s word cannot be bound!
Stolen bread tastes sweet, but soon your mouth is full of gravel. (Pro 20:17 MSG)
In romantic novels, movies, and soap operas, sex is always painted as sweet. In pornographic films, it is presented as full of ecstasy. This is often presented in the context of cheating, adultery, and the likes. All forms of sexual perversion are presented as sweet.
What you may not know is that a lot of porn actresses are drugged to act these parts. After their filming, most of them rush to the conveniences to throw up. They are forced to continue because of the lure of money.
People are deceived into believing that adultery, oral sex, sleeping with a prostitute and the likes are okay. The Bible never disagrees with the short, temporal sweetness that adultery may present.
Quickie sex with the wrong person looks so sweet, but honey, watch out! The Bible does not mince words. Think about chewing gravel. Yes, sexual acts outside marriage will bring with it its attendant consequences. This kind of intercourse will end up in anguish, bitterness, guilt, dirty feelings and so much more.
Cheating on your spouse may look fun or sweet, especially when you trying to get back at your spouse, but you are planting seeds, and when your harvest comes, you wouldn’t have a nice time.
I always tell couples, please enjoy lovemaking to its fullest. Never deny your spouse of it. Real sweet intercourse can only be found in the marriage context, and how sweet, fulfilling, enriching, and empowering it is.
Conclusively, you should know that God will not judge us generally, so what the trends are and what most people are doing is not a license to join them. We will be judged individually.
The implication of this is that God still expects you to follow His principles and do it right, not only to make heaven and have eternal life but to have the victory here on earth and also to enjoy the maximum blessings that God has for you.
I pray for you this morning, that every distraction be removed from your way in Jesus name!
I pray that God will send that very help you need your way this morning to help you stay on side of God.
You will not miss God’s best for your life in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My body belongs to God. I glorify God in my body.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I destroy all unclean spirits trying to work through my mind.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned? (Pro 6:27 KJV)
One of the ways God has planned that Couples get closer to each other is through the act of sex. It is God’s design. However, God wanted it to be an act within the matrimonial sanctity.
It is so powerful that God said when either couple wants to abstain from it for a while, to fast, for example, permission must be taken from the other spouse.
Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency. -1Corinthians 7:5 (KJV)
The Bible strongly advises that couples must seek each other’s desires. This is an area where wives must be extremely careful. Never deprive your husband sexually. If you do that, you can get him into troubles with secretaries, house-helps, and any other thing in a skirt. You may not understand this fully until you discover how his body is wired.
This is not a justification for marital infidelity, however. The Bible acknowledges that sexual desires are strong, but that marriage is powerful enough to contain it.
The Holy Spirit advised through Paul that you must not deprive your spouse sexually. In fact, the Bible calls it fraud when you do so.
Now, getting down to the questions you asked in your letter to me. First, Is it a good thing to have sexual relations? Certainly, but only within a certain context. It’s good for a man to have a wife, and for a woman to have a husband. Sexual drives are strong, but marriage is strong enough to contain them and provide for a balanced and fulfilling sexual life in a world of sexual disorder. The marriage bed must be a place of mutuality–the husband seeking to satisfy his wife, the wife seeking to satisfy her husband. Marriage is not a place to “stand up for your rights.” Marriage is a decision to serve the other, whether in bed or out. Abstaining from sex is permissible for a period of time if you both agree to it, and if it’s for the purposes of prayer and fasting–but only for such times. Then come back together again. Satan has an ingenious way of tempting us when we least expect it. -1Corinthians 7:1-5 (MSG)
Why is God particular about sex? The reason is obvious. It creates bonding between spouses. It is God’s way of rekindling the fire in marriage.
During an act of sex, what takes place is more than physical. While non-religious writers may debunk the reality of its spiritual consequences, they are apt to accept the fact that something more than physical takes place during the act.
Within marriage, it affirms the dignity and uniqueness of the couple, strengthens the marital bond, and brings a healthy pleasure.
You will make it. You will not fall by the wayside. You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. You will not become a victim of a sexualized society. God will keep you from falling. I see God sending that help you need right now to you as you call on Him! It is a new day for you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not deprive my spouse of my duty and his or her right. I am not angry or bitter toward my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I love _________(mention name of spouse) dearly. He/She is the love of my life. I am not self-seeking, I honour my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to make necessary changes in this area of my life. Grant me Lord, a quick forgiving spirit.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband. God draws a firm line against casual and illicit sex. -Hebrews 13:4 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Sex can be spontaneous or strategic, be available for both.
Yesterday we looked at how important it is for wives everywhere to praise their husbands. We looked at how a little girl danced in honor of king Herod and praised him. He was willing to part with half of his kingdom. When women praise amazing things happen.
Today, we will be looking at ‘Husbands Appreciate your wives’.
To appreciate means to recognize the good qualities of something or someone. Husbands, your wives are your helper; they are created for you and for your good.
The fuel that keeps wives going and functioning in their calling as helpers, is appreciating their efforts and labour of love.
Any husband that doesn’t appreciate his wife is stifling the potential of his wife.
Appreciation comes with a sense of thoughtfulness that allows for gratitude. You become grateful for the little gestures and the big things your wife does.
Every wife is moved to do more or motivated by words. For example, if your wife cooks a meal and you appreciate her, she will remember the appreciation and will want to do better the next time she is cooking. If she is not appreciated, however, the creativity to do more or do better is not there.
If the love language of your wife is words of affirmation, you have to give her big doses of appreciation. Appreciate your wife for her looks, appreciate her for her dress sense, appreciate her being a home keeper, appreciate her for her intuition, appreciate her for her sacrifices, appreciate her for her kindness, for taking care of the children, for believing you, for encouraging you, for being there, for doing the dishes, and the list goes on and on.
One thing about appreciation like praise is that the more you give it the more you see reasons the give more appreciation.
In the same way, the less you show appreciation the less you will find reasons to show appreciation.
May God grant us grace to show more appreciation to our wives.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be more loving and tender to my wife
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a good husband, teach me how to always praise my wife
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take out time to praise your wife today
The two words Appreciate and Praise have same elements but are slightly different.
Every wife should know how to praise her husband. If you wait till your husband is perfect you will wait a long time. Besides, who says you have the right standard to judge him? You may have a thousand things against him, but look for and focus on the good things he has done.
How he has been a good father to your children, he didn’t neglect you when you were pregnant, he didn’t abuse you, he provided for you, he prayed and fast for you.
The truth of the fact is that your husband has done so much for you, that you are not even aware of. It will take eternity to discover some of the things our husbands have done for us. Just like it will be in eternity to unravel the so many things our heavenly father has done for us.
Sometimes we have misjudged their motives, yet God is the judge of all and He looks into the heart.
God our heavenly father loves praises and men are created in the image of God, so there is a part of every man that craves praises.
If every wife will look beyond the pains and hurts, and just praise her husband for what he does, I believe that praise will work wonders.
But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
That is what praise can do. We can learn this principle from this young girl, who despite who King Herod is or whatever he has done, danced with all her heart, and honored him till he felt so wonderful.
She could access what the king has by simply honoring him. She brought herself to a place of prominence by forgetting herself and praising the king first. She was rewarded for it.
Let us all as wives focus on praising our husbands. Let us be selfless. Let us not be too mindful of ourselves.
We can’t dance unless we learn to forget whatever issues, and grievances we have towards our husbands. For us to dance in a way that pleases and catch the attention of our husbands, our hearts must be free of offenses.
Have a light heart. So you can dance well. All you want is for your king to open his mouth and give you half of his kingdom, his heart, his life, his commitment, his loyalty, his attention.
The principle is to do his own first!
May God grant us the heart of humility to rid our hearts of everything that will not make our hearts light, so that we can dance for him.
God bless our marriage
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a good wife, teach me how to always appreciate my husband
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY But when Herod’s birthday came, the daughter of Herodias danced in the midst [before the company] and pleased and fascinated Herod, and so he promised with an oath to give her whatever she might ask. –Matthew 14:6 – 7 (AMPC)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make a list of the things your husband has done for you and appreciate him for it
COUPLES – How To Refuse The Devil’s Agenda In Marriage
Marriage is often time associated with wine because our union with our spouse is supposed to bring joy to us.
The marriage ceremony itself is a joyous occasion with the bride and groom looking their best. Everyone is happy, with lots of food to eat and drinks, music, dancing, and the exuberance of finding the love of your life.
All these sum up to give joy and excitement. Both for the new couples, the parents, families, the couples friends and all.
But a few years down the line, we see that joy almost vanished from the face of the once overjoyed couple. Why is this?
We may have different reasons why, but I want to point to us that the devil is the real culprit here.
The thief comes only in order to steal and kill and destroy. I came that they may have and enjoy life, and have it in abundance (to the full, till it overflows). – John 10:10 AMPC
The above scripture identifies the devil as a thief who comes to steal if not stopped, graduates to kill, and then finally to destroy, bringing to total ruins, both what you desire and what you have laboured for. He destroys the legacy of families and what they stand for.
The devil is the one that steals joy from marriages. He does this through several means and does it in whoever marriage he is allowed to perform his three-fold agenda and mission.
Every believer’s marriage is precious and priceless. The devil hates anything joyous, good, and glorious. He is attracted to it, to steal from it, kill and destroy it.
The devil is not just a nuisance, he is an enemy. That is the fact and the truth. You must always take the offensive against his onslaught.
The scripture in John 10:10 didn’t just say that the devil cometh to steal, kill and destroy. It concluded that ‘I am come that they might have or enjoy life and it more abundantly.
For every attempt of the devil to steal the joy of and in your marriage whether by misunderstanding, strife, unforgiveness, infidelity, the sin of different types, anger, works of the flesh etc. Jesus also came.
He came once and for all to deal with the 3 fold agenda of the devil. Jesus is not only the answer to the problem, He is much more than that.
It is not your wife or your husband that is hurting you or cheating on you.
Am I saying we should not take responsibility for our actions? No, I didn’t say that. We take responsibility and deal with the root cause of the issue. The devil hides under the works of the flesh or sin to carry out his 3 fold agenda.
Begin to insist on your joy, peace in marriage, prosperity, and every good thing Jesus already paid for there.
Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation.Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
Joy in your marriage is not just having good behaviour. You need your joy to draw from the well of salvation.
No wonder the devil is after your joy. Without joy, you cannot draw. You can speak in tongues, fast, and pray but you also need joy.
When the devil throws different issues at you, he is after your joy. Insist on your joy.
Respond in joy to any attack on your marriage. That joy is an overflowing joy, the joy that is full of glory.
Laugh at the face of lack. You begin to draw wealth and prosperity from the well of salvation.
Let nothing steal your joy. Be joyful with the wife of your youth.
God grant us more understanding.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Nothing steals my joy in my home.
PRAYERS FOR TODAY Lord, strengthen me in my inner man
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Therefore with joy will you draw water from the wells of salvation. Isaiah 12:3 AMPC
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out areas where you need God to remember you and go before Him to plead your case.
We have been considering several levels of communication in the last few days. We have looked at
1. The Hallway talker
2. Reporter’s Talk
3. Intellectual Talk
4. Emotional Talk.
This morning, we will be considering the last and highest level of Communication.
5. Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy, where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look less smart. We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of communication, but please, don’t let us remain there.
As a couple, we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand, and communicate with each other. This will require a certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our level of communicating with ourselves, the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help us all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
This type of conversation is not just limited to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The wife’s or husband’s opinion is needed and necessary.
For example, ‘Are the children eating rice this afternoon?’ ‘I don’t think it will be the best option for them. They need more vegetables in their diet’.
It is important to note that, the question, what do you think about….is so important in husband-wife conversations.
Your husband or wife’s opinion matters and don’t want them feeling like they are not smart. If the wife is just accepting every decision made and is not really a part of the decision-making process and involved in the intellectual aspect of thinking through, there will eventually be problems later on in the marriage.
4. Emotional Talk.
‘Let me tell you how I feel’.
In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves because we are what and how we feel.
We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that that’s the way we feel.
We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. I am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse’s feelings.
It is more difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are two very different things
‘I feel that guy is a thief’.
‘I feel the car will break down’
‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.
When you share your feelings, you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered.
When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.
Couples should aim at growing together into this fourth level of communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.
In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of Communication and you both can become intimate couples. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
So we learned how important communication is in marriage. Not just anyhow communication but husbands and wives should dedicate time and attention to proper and effective ways to communicate with each other.
It can’t be over-emphasized, that Intimacy in marriage can only be brought as we grow from one level of Communication to the other levels.
There are five levels of Communication. I started with the first level yesterday, which is Hallway talker. Today, I am continuing:
2. Reporter’s Talk
This level is a step further than the first. Here, the conversation moves from general talks to talking or giving facts or information about events. It is a reported kind of talk.
Here more information is given, but still, this kind of conversation does not promote intimacy. In level two communication, we do not express our opinions, thoughts, or how we feel about the subject matter.
If you are at this level two communication, your aim should be to move up and climb the steps of effective communication so that intimacy could be engendered.
Remember, level two communication is summarized; Just give me the facts.
3. Intellectual Talk
In this conversation level, your spouse is given the freedom to think differently. This is an amazing gift to give each other in marriage.
It is recognizing the fact that each one of you is a unique individual with a different perspective, viewpoint, and way of reasoning.
Marriage is trying to bring our way of thinking into alignment without suffocating the uniqueness of each other’s thinking. Two becoming one is choosing the best of our different thinking patterns and or merging our different opinions till we arrive at the best alternative.
When we recognize our weaknesses and strength and know that each one of us has a role and part to play and that neither of us is superior to another. We will honor each other and give each other the opportunity to air their opinions.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be a blessing to many
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, teach me how to communicate effectively
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. –Jeremiah 33:3 (KJV)
There are five levels of Communication. A further read is encouraged on the subject of communication especially by the best selling author Gary Chapman. I am sure you will find it rewarding and worth your while.
1. The Hallway talker
In this type of conversation no intimacy is developed or worked at. This conversation doesn’t involve wanting to know the feeling or thought process or pattern of the other person. The conversation is on autodrive.
You have a particular way of response to what is said or asked. Example,
‘How are you doing?’.
‘Fine’.
‘How are the kids?’
They have gone to school.’
The essence of communicating with each other is develop intimacy. No deep communication, no intimacy. And intimacy is the essence of marriage.
Why am I married if I can’t enjoy love, acceptance, understanding, oneness, sincerity and transparency?
Every married couple, should aim at climbing the steps of communication to further develop the intimacy between them.
You can’t be involved in monosyllable answers and expect intimacy to be developed.
If couples are not careful or well discerning, twenty years of their marred life will pass so quickly and they will discover they have not improved on their communication and that they are still in the ‘hall way’ method of communicating.
They were distracted by work, a busy schedule, distracted with the children and yet each spouse were just coping and not really pleased with each other.
The children are grown and they are now left with each other to deal with the hurts piled up for so many years and not talked about.
May God in His mercy send help to us out of Zion in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, help me to communicate well with my spouse
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Jer 33:3 (KJV)Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not.
Communication is simply talking, but of cause, there are more things involved than just talking. A healthy conversation involves not just what is said but what is heard.
In essence, communication is a two way conversation which involves speaking and hearing. The two spouses must form the conscious habit of allowing the other spouse express himself or herself. While he/ she speaks, the other partner should be actively listening.
Not listening for pleasure, not listening for information but should practise empathic listening. This is putting yourself in the conversation. Trying to understand and feel the impulse of the speaker.
It is unhealthy to to dominate a conversation without waiting at intervals to get feedback. To check whether your hearer is hearing the right thing, to know how he/she is processing the information. The aim of your conversation especially on marriage is for your partner to understand what you are saying , understand and then obey you.
Listening should not also be done with the intention of giving a reply that will defend your status or what you represent in the marriage covenant.
I think we cannot also have a good conversation with our spouse if our interpretation of what marriage is, is defective. Until we see our marriage from the view point of it being a covenant relationship, every other thing becomes loop sided.
What we see most couples practising is contract and not covenant marriage.
This is so important. It is a contract (which could be unwritten and informal), when the marriage is based on mutual benefit. That is, we are both doing something for each other.
For example, I will be nice to you, if you bring in enough money. Or, if you help out in the house, I will prepare the meals.
The opposite obtains if your spouse doesn’t do what is expected. I will be very cold and unresponsive to you if you hurt my feelings. I will be uncaring to you if you disrespect me.
Marriage is a covenant. In which each partner takes up his/her responsibility. A wife is to submit fully. The husband takes up his responsibility to love her like Christ does irrespective of what she does.
It is the aim of covenant relationship to please and serve the other person despite what he/ she does.
It’s kind of difficult right? Very hard. Especially if you have been to some school of hardknocks, where you have been deeply hurt.
If you are starting on a clean note and you have this understanding, how blessed you are.
No matter how farther away we have gone, in Christ there is always a way out. He shows us and leads us in the way since He is the way.
We need to retrace our steps and in humility, accept what works.
When a marriage is not working, both partners are responsible. It is not just one persons fault but the two parties have their contributing factors.
Tomorrow, I will attempt to summarize the five levels of Communication.
God bless your marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am communicating well with my spouse.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to be a better communicator
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY They said to him, “Hezekiah says, ‘This is a black day. We’re in crisis. We’re like pregnant women without even the strength to have a baby! Isaiah 37:3 – MSG
A husband that is into ‘house-binding’ and not husbandry loves his wife genuinely, the God kind of love (Agape) that is kind, patient, gentle etc (1Cor 13:4-8)
In Eph.5:25, husbands are given a direct and clear command. ‘Husbands love your wife…’ Husbands are commanded to love but the love being described here is not sexual in which love is based on your wife’s body and the sexual pleasure you can get from her body.
Some husbands are only nice and full of compliments when it is time for sexual pleasure.
In husbandry (animal kingdom), there are no affections, no kind words, no thoughtfulness and tenderness. The male just goes ahead to mate the female.
But for a ‘house-binding’ husband, love is total and complete. It is the God kind of love which says, ‘I love you in spite of this issue.’
It is a willingness to accept your wife for who she is. It is a love that is unconditional. It is sacrificial, willing to go the extra mile.
It is not overly demanding, critical or fault finding. It is simply based on a conscious decision to walk in love not because she deserves it but because the word of God commands it.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a love being. God’s love flows in me. My love is selfless and not selfish.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to walk in love daily in Jesus Name. Shed your love abroad in my heart , O Lord
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Col 3:19 AMP Husbands, love your wives [be affectionate and sympathetic with them] and do not be harsh or bitter or resentful toward them.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Memorize and meditate and confess the attributes of love in 1 Cor. 13
In summary, these are a few pragmatic things to do when you want a change.
1. Give your life to Jesus Christ genuinely and ensure every member of your family does.
2. Find a Bible-believing church and join the foundation class, with intention of becoming a worker. Do not go to church to seek miracles only, let your motivation be to grow in the things of God.
3. Never miss reading God’s word daily. Find scriptures that address that area where you need change. That is what will renew your mind.
4. From what you read daily, pick one or two verses to meditate on daily. You can do it with your spouse.
5. Go for water baptism by immersion
6. Go for Holy Ghost Baptism with evidence of speaking in tongues. This is the power of Christianity and it is the power of the Holy Spirit that gives you dominion over sin.
7. Pray in the Spirit often
8. Have a close mentor for accountability’s sake. Somebody you and your spouse can access one on one or via phone that will keep you on your toes and help guide you in major decisions.
Your mentor is not the one that pursues you; you are the one that pursues him because he usually has many protégées. I do this for quite a number of people and help mentor their marriage.
9. Serve in any capacity in God’s house and be sensitive to give when God asks you to.
10. You and your spouse should do a personal retreat from time to time.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY My mind is being renewed daily by God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I pull down every stronghold in my mind that is keeping me bound to low life.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY Phil 4: 13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take relevant scriptures in the area you need renewal in your mind and begin to study, meditate and speak them to yourself.
Your thinking directs your life. Your thinking gives meaning to your life. Where your life is today is an indication of how and what you have been thinking about.
Your mind is the engine of your life, it drives your life. A healthy mind will give a healthy life.
If you are born again, there is victory for you. The solution to depression and mood swings is in renewing your mind. Your mind is the seat of your will, intellect, and your emotion. You can become emotionally stable by renewing your minds with God’s Word. You can be all God desires you to be by renewing your mind.
What is a renewal of mind? How do you renew your mind?
To renew means to simply make new, and you renew by studying and meditating on God’s Word. You meditate on God’s Word by thinking on His Word, speaking it to yourself audibly and inaudibly.
The beginning of a change in your life is when your heart is filled with God’s word! Replace those negative, stinking thoughts with life-giving and strength imparting thoughts. Replace lustful, dirty thoughts with pure thoughts.
It has been discovered that it’s only God’s Word that can positively change our minds and make it pure. As you stubbornly dwell on God’s word, think on it, rehearse it, say it, and brood on it, it will create a picture of what God really wants for you.
As you reach out for those pictures, change will begin. Change starts from the inside, not outside. In God’s word is the inherent power to cause itself to come to pass.
CONFESSION OF THE DAY My mind is being renewed daily by God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I pull down every stronghold in my mind that is keeping me bound to low life.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY Phil 4: 13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take relevant scriptures in the area you need renewal in your mind and begin to study, meditate and speak them to yourself.
Mr. & Mrs. George are tired of each other. From quarrels to endless arguments and confrontations, it went on and on. They really want a change.
How does one really change after giving one’s life to Jesus? I thought all the struggles with sin will disappear? Where does one start from?
The key to change and transformation is a renewed mind, a change of thinking. God intends to change our lives by positively affecting our thought patterns. A renewed mind births a transformed life.
It will be interesting to know that most of our present struggles especially in our marriages have their roots in our minds, in our thinking.
‘And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God’. – Rom. 12: 2
Lustful thinking will result in a life full of lust. Some people have strongholds of negative thinking, some have what is called stinking thinking, some are full of fears, they don’t have confidence or boldness to validate or appreciate themselves in their marriage, they are full of inferiority complex.
They cannot speak their minds because they feel they have nothing good to offer. Some are full of envy, jealousy, strife, malice, anger, wrath, contentions, etc and all these have their roots in unwholesome thinking pattern.
Jesus even connected fornication and adultery to how and what we think about. He said you have committed adultery with a woman when you look at her lustfully in your heart.
To be continued…
CONFESSION OF THE DAY My mind is being renewed daily by God’s Word and the power of the Holy Spirit.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Father in the name of Jesus, I pull down every strong hold in my mind that is keeping me bound to low life.
THOUGHT OF THE DAY Phil 4: 13 ‘I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me’.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take relevant scriptures in the area you need renewal in your mind and begin to study, meditate and speak them to yourself.
This morning, I want to write about the types of husbands we have.
There are generally two major types of husbands:
a) Wicked Husbands
b) Godly Husbands
Everybody prays to marry a godly husband but what if you are already married and you suddenly discover you have a wicked husband?
There are several options for you to explore.
1. The foundation for a good family is salvation of one’s soul and living according to the principles of God. If your spouse is not born again, that is where to start from.
Encourage him to follow you to church and give his life to Jesus. Continue to pray for the salvation of his soul.
2. If he is already born again, and yet you notice some attributes of wickedness, look for a christian marriage counselor to talk with.
Alternatively, you can talk with a mentor who both of you respect. My wife and I do this for couples from time to time, and usually when both sides talk back and forth, biblical solutions are always proffered after a few hours of talking. It would now be left for the couple to be self disciplined and implement the wisdom offered.
Make sure you both have somebody over your marriage that you can talk with from time to time. This could also be your Pastor.
3. Buy good books and read. It will help your perspectives to be broadened and to know how to handle issues more.
4. Follow Kisses and Huggs Daily Devotional on this site daily. You will become familiar with principles that will help you as couples to live better and have a great marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage will be great.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In the name of Jesus, I receive Grace for my husband to mature in Christ and be all he can be for the glory of God. Amen.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 12:2 Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Make sure you are comfortable with the character and personality of your husband. Prayerfully ask the Lord what to do next.
The blockage could be anything from malice, anger, unforgiving spirit, selfishness, hurt, fear, lack of trust, tiredness, hatred, jealousy, envy, and a lot more.
Rather than for you to keep mopping the flood in your marriage, you can stop the flood, remove the blockage and repair the sink!
Repair your blocked communication line and you will be amazed at how much you will eliminate sleepless nights in your marriage.
How can you repair your communication sink?
1. It is important you discover his or her love language. It helps communication better and you can be sure you are effective in your communication.
2. Ladies, do not close up your spirit on your husband! It will slow things down generally in marriage because the power of agreement is the greatest weapon you have.
3. Men, do not stop wooing your wives. Let the fun continue.
4. When communication sink is blocked, it encourages adulterous relationships as the legitimate need of communication can be sought to be met in illegitimate ways.
5. Stay in touch with God in fellowship as this helps a lot to put things in perspective and makes the wisdom of God available through the Holy Spirit to manage the home well.
I pray for you today that God will give you the strength to end that strife, that bitterness and let go of that unforgiving spirit and join forces together to advance your marriage and lives in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I am a good listener. I am sensitive to my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I pray, Lord, that you teach me by your Spirit to know how to communicate to my spouse with the right words and at the right time in Jesus Name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them. Proverbs 8:8 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a meaningful discussion with your spouse today
Several years ago, the weather was really hot. The power was out. One particular night, power was restored and I woke my hubby to put on the air conditioner. I usually enjoy him doing stuff like that for me. He woke up and as he was getting out of bed, he discovered that the whole rug was flooded with water.
What happened was that the sink in the bathroom was blocked, someone (probably one of the boys) left the tap on and when power was restored, the brother staying with us switched on the pumping machine and before we knew it, our room was simply flooded!
This was a little past 12.00 am and we had no choice but to remove the rug and start mopping. You can bet it was not funny at all. Thank God for a good, hardworking hubby like mine who did the job. (I did a little too).
My point this morning is that if your sink is blocked, be ready for some sleepless nights, unnecessary mopping, and the like.
Let no corrupt communication proceed out of your mouth, but that which is good to the use of edifying, that it may minister grace unto the hearers. – Ephesians 4:29 (KJV)
In marriage, this same principle applies to your communication sink. Once it is blocked, you require extra work. Repair and remove every blockage affecting your communication. It only causes troubles uncalled for.
What could cause blockages in your communication sink and how can you handle it?
That is what I will discuss tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my spouse. My spirit is not closed towards my spouse. I am a good listener. I am sensitive to my spouse.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY I pray, Lord, that you teach me by your Spirit to know how to communicate to my spouse with the right words and at the right time in Jesus Name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY All the words of my mouth are in righteousness; there is nothing froward or perverse in them. -Proverbs 8:8 (KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a meaningful discussion with your spouse today
The son is playing football initially, but the moment he hears the dad’s car horn, he jumps into the living room, opens Modern Biology textbook and starts reading.
Dad comes in and sees son sweating like Christmas goat. He asks why he is sweating like that and the boy has no choice but to point to the Modern Biology textbook, ‘it’s the Amoeba sir!’
The wife hurries into the kitchen and puts food in the microwave oven, while dad clears his throat. The lion of the tribe of his house has come!
That is not an ideal home, something is defective! When those children have the slightest opportunity to be outside the home, they will misbehave.
There is something about having a home that radiates with God’s love. The husband and wife must work together to achieve this.
A husband comes home drunk. He comes home late. He beats his wife in front of his children. He scolds his wife in front of his children. He keeps malice with his wife and sometimes with his children. He does not provide for his family. He is involved in extra-marital affairs. He does not eat his wife’s food. The list is endless.
Those behaviours are not ‘house binding’ but ‘animal husbandry!’ The man is unwittingly sowing wrong seeds into his home and when the harvest comes? The scripture aptly says when you sow wind, you will reap whirlwind!
Dear husband, be good. You will enjoy yourself and your family that way. Don’t compromise. Don’t cheat on her. Be faithful!
When you are faithful to your wife, you will enjoy the fullness of God’s blessings, favour and approval. Learn the art of conflict resolution.
Be patient with her! I pray God bless and keep your home and marriage in Jesus name. Amen!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a great husband. I love my wife like Christ loves the church.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the grace to be a good husband to my wife and a great example to my children.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man! –Proverbs 5:18 (MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out seven special things you can do daily in the coming week to rekindle your marriage and affirm your wife.
One of the meanings of ‘husband’ is ‘he that binds the house together’ He keeps the home, the wife, and children, and makes sure they are well taken care of.
Taking care of them is not just providing money for them, but being there for them, nurturing them, and connecting with them emotionally.
A father’s care is powerful. Most of the perverts and criminals we have in our society today are those that have been deprived of fatherly care.
Husbands, go all out in your love for your wives, exactly as Christ did for the church-a love marked by giving, not getting. – Ephesians 5:25 (MSG)
It is said that most husbands don’t understand the extent of grace and authority that God has bestowed on them as head of the house.
My Pastor once said jokingly but truthfully that the only husbandry we are taught in school is animal husbandry and that is why some husbands behave like animals at home.
There is no course in school titled ‘Marriage 101.’ Your school of marriage begins after collecting the certificate! Marriage is the only institution where you collect the certificate before the learning begins.
The Daddy comes home, and all the children plus the wife dive into different corners looking pious…
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a great husband. I love my wife like Christ loves the church.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, grant me the grace to be a good husband to my wife and a great example to my children.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 5:18 MSG Bless your fresh-flowing fountain! Enjoy the wife you married as a young man!
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Write out seven special things you can do daily in the coming week to rekindle your marriage and affirm your wife.
