by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 14, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 3 minutes
Loving more As Singles And Married. There are practical ways to love that special one more whether you are just in a relationship or you are married. There are things you can do to avoid unnecessary quarrels that can lead to break-ups, separation, or even divorce! I will like to explore some of these things with the help of the Holy Spirit. I am sure somebody is out there who will learn something.
So how do you love that special one more? Here we go!
Loving More As Singles And Married
Singles
1. The leading that you cannot do without
If you are a child of God, you must be led by Him. That is the best way to love that special one! You are not just in it for fun or for a fling, you are there because there is leading.
You see, there is such a thing as being led by God. He leads you, He directs you, and He shows you who to hang out with and who to discard. He becomes your shepherd.
Some people actually assume that God is not interested in their relationship or marriage. Probably God is too busy. Who says?
Listen to me, God is more interested in your relationship and marriage than you are! That’s the truth. Do you know that marriage was not a man’s idea? It was originally God’s idea!
That is why I wonder about those who are attempting to redefine marriage. They are trying to alter what they did not initiate. Confusion is bound to be the order of the day!
Be led, my dear people! There are a lot of things attempting to lead you. Your adrenaline will want to lead you. Your emotions will want to lead you. Your environment will want to lead you. Your friends will want to lead you. Your parents will attempt to lead you.
But listen to me, there is no leading like that leading of the Holy Spirit. He can never lead you wrong. His leading will end in joy. His leading is His perfect will for you!
Oh, what peace engulfs you when you are led by God? It is the peace that passes all understanding!
“And God’s peace [ shall be yours, that tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and being content with its earthly lot of whatever sort that is, that peace ] which transcends all understanding shall garrison and mount guard over your hearts and minds in Christ Jesus.” (Php 4:7, AMP)
Loving More As Singles And Married. God is the only one that knows the person that will love you now and will still love you in another forty years! He is the only one that knows the person that will be okay with your intelligence, creativity, and sometimes foolishness and stupidity!
You cannot even see beyond your nose. It pays to follow His leading!
How do you know His leading?
It begins with a relationship with God Himself. If you distance yourself from God and His fellowship, you will miss his leading. Then you need to get filled with the Holy Spirit with the evidence of Speaking in tongues. That is very important!
When you do that, He would begin to speak to you through His Holy Spirit. When you are with the wrong person, He will tell you. When somebody is deceiving you, He will tell you! He will warn you against the wicked man and froward man whose mouth speaks perverse things. He will warn you against the strange woman who flatters with her mouth but whose path leads to death!
Make up your mind to be led by Him. That is how to avoid heartaches and unnecessary agony!
Married
Loving More As Singles And Married
If you are already married, make sure you continue in His leading in every other area of your life. That would guarantee unending peace. Your continual seeking of His face brings peace into your marriage. Oh yes, I know there are some of you who are married and you think you are with the wrong person. What do you do? Leave such a person? No! God does not want divorce or separation unless you can no longer help it.
You can go back to God, and God can re-write your history. You can fight for your marriage and home in the place of prayer.
Do you have an erring husband? You can handle him in prayer. Do you have an uncooperative wife? Take it to the Lord in prayer.
A lot of God’s children are no longer conscious of the power they possess, and that is in the place of prayer. When last did you go on your knees concerning your spouse? When last did you besiege the heavens, and the angels of God will have no choice but to move in your favour?
You bought her pieces of jewelry and she is still depressed and you are wondering what happened? It is because you didn’t pray in the morning. Loving More As Singles And Married
Fight for your marriage, not by refusing to cook for him or by ignoring her, but by going into your prayer closet.
I tell you, heaven will hear you, and earth will cooperate with you!
Your marriage is blessed!
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 12, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Why Are We So Different?
When God created Adam, the first thing he saw was work. God told him to dress the garden. He bonded with work. Since all humanity was in Adam, we inherited the same disposition. That is why that man around you will always get his fulfillment from work.
When God created Eve, the first thing she saw was a man “toasting” her and staring at her beauty! That is why that woman around you loves to be “toasted,” and gets her fulfillment from home and family.
The man is work oriented and the woman is relationship oriented.
Why Are We So Different?
When a man is out of work or is not working, it affects his self-esteem. When a woman’s love life or family is in disarray, it affects her self-esteem.
When a man meets his friend after many years, the first question is “where do you work now?” When women meet each other after many years, they are showing pictures of the family from their phones!
A man is fulfilled after a good day of work. A woman is fulfilled if she has been loved up with tender loving care since morning!
Why Are We So Different?
Husbands who are workaholics need to be careful. It is a point of quarrel in your home and you may not really know! Ladies who neglect home and care for family need to be careful as well. It will always lead to issues when you fail to care for your home.
Men, leave work at work and don’t bring work home. When you are coming home, think family, think about your wife, be romantic, and your marriage will get better.
Ladies, show interest in your husbands while they work! It will work wonders! Men, go and talk to her while she is getting food ready in the kitchen. She is likely to find that romantic!
There must be balance! Don’t allow her to see your laptop as her rival. Study her love language and speak that language.
Ladies, guys are logical. Be involved in his thoughts. When you are disconnected from him, he gets jealous and he actually begins to think you are someone else!
Keep communication open. Talk about what has been bringing frustration and confront them, rather than sweep them under the carpet.
Why Are We So Different?
Be sincere with each other, and do not hide things from each other. Talk about how you feel, and don’t expect your spouse to be the Holy Spirit that knows all things.
Work like a team and don’t be grouchy over everything. Don’t get hurt by every statement. Be calm, and be patient. Lock the devil out of your home by walking in love with each other and praying for one another.
The same principles work for singles who are in courtship. Make sure there is balance. You can’t say you are busy at work and have not called her in one week! There will be issues. Also, you can’t expect her to be very happy when you are not working and yet you are planning a wedding. What if a man can’t find a job in time? Then find work to do. You may be out of a job, but never be out of work. Simply find something to do and while you are at it, heaven will kiss the earth on your behalf and help will arise for you!
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 11, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Ways That Show You Love Her
1. You will be sincere with her. One of the first indications of true love is sincerity. Love is genuinely truthful. Love is truthful to a fault. The concept that God has of marriage is that of a covenant perspective. You are one. The moment you begin to hide stuff, it’s like a beehive of troubles.
As singles in courtship, if you are not sincere, it is already founded on shaky ground. It is sincerity that eventually establishes trust. Trust, however you see it, is an important ingredient in marriage. Without it, the marriage will not survive.
If you notice that your loved one is habitually insincere, it is in order that you examine that relationship all over again.
It goes without saying that what you court is what you’ll marry. If you court the truth, you’ll enjoy it in marriage, if you court lies, your guess is as good as mine.
If there is an issue of mistrust and you are already married, seek help. Seek counsel. Don’t keep quiet till it degenerates to a point you cannot manage it.
Ways That Show You Love Her
2. You will express your love to her
Where your treasure is, that is where your heart will be. Out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. So, I really have a problem with folk who don’t appreciate the ones they love and verbalize their commitments from time to time.
Expression of love within the context of a godly courtship should be verbal, not physical. There is a way we do things in the kingdom.
When a guy begins to get physical on the first date, then your antenna should go up and you should know who you are dealing with.
You get to know a person through interaction first. Not through touch.
As a young lady, you should not be freely available to be touched, smooched, and petted when you are not married. Expression of love should be contained within the parameters of verbal communication.
In marriage, you need to understand that praise and affirmations are like food to a woman. She has to be complimented. The tendency is that if you don’t compliment her regularly, you will lose her emotionally.
Again, you need to know that complimenting her, praising her, and affirming her is actually protecting her. When you don’t do these, you increase her vulnerability because people will keep complimenting her outside.
If you are in courtship, and communication is defective, praise and affirmation are absent, you need to know it is not likely to improve after marriage.
As a guy, if you have not been constantly verbalizing your love for her, you’ve not been praising her, you really need to repent of your “sins” and then make sure you change.
If a guy grows up In a family where they are non-expressive, praise and affirmation are non-existent, he is more likely to find it difficult to naturally do all of these.
However, it is never an excuse. As a man, you have a responsibility to make your relationship/marriage work by making the needed adjustments. That is what makes you a man.
Also to note, there could be needy ladies, who are too overbearing on the man, your fiance or husband is not the Holy Spirit, he would not be able to fully satisfy some very deep longings that only God’s word will sort out.
The most important thing is to strike a balance.
These are two Ways That Show You Love Her
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 10, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
What More To Do For Your Man? 3. Be ready to satisfy him sexually.
Young wives, you need to know that sex is not a tool for punishment or reward. When he is nice and has bought something for you, you cooperate with him. When he has not been nice, you start singing ‘my head, my shoulder, my knees, my toes, they all are paining me!“
That is not fair! Well, the scripture admonishes couples, ‘defraud ye not one another!’ The scripture calls it fraud when you deny one another without genuine reasons! And really, genuine reasons should only come up once in a while!
What More To Do For Your Man?
Why is sex so important to men? It is because of their wiring, it is not their fault. However, the scripture makes it clear that sexual relationships should only be with your spouse, not with a colleague or somebody you met on a one-night stand somewhere! The consequences of adultery are debilitating. It comes with agony and regrets!
Protect your marriage by enjoying each other and never denying each other. For a lady, it is more than physical workout, it is an emotional thing for her, so when she is hurt, she may not be able to release herself. This is why it is important to forgive easily and let go…because you are still one! It is also why you should treat your wife gently and be caring!
What More To Do For Your Man?
For singles, you are not to satisfy anybody until after marriage. You can put forth all kinds of lame excuses why it should happen but that is not God’s order. If you are going to have God’s support, favour, and help in this life, then you had better do it God’s way. And I really don’t think anybody wants to live without God’s support, favour, and help in this life. Those are what would distinguish and make a difference in your life.
If as a married couple, you are already involved in adultery or with pre-marital sex as a single, it is never too late to ask God for forgiveness and turn around in your ways. That is how not to delay yourself or slow yourself down.
What More To Do For Your Man?
Conclusively, you will never be able to ‘insure’ any relationship or ‘keep’ a man through compromise. Your body is not a commodity to trade; it is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Respect your body and don’t trade it around because God puts a lot of value on your body and on your person!
by Rev Dunamis Okunowo | Dec 9, 2022 | Singles and Married
Reading Time: 2 minutes
Do These For Your Man. There are a few things you need to know about men. Men have certain needs. When a man has a relationship with God, he can better handle those needs as it relates to his fiancee or wife.
What does a man want? Let’s consider a few of them.
Do These For Your Man
1. He wants his ego massaged constantly
Never try to crush a man’s ego.
Let me give you a sample. You and your husband are dining alongside another couple. The other lady goes,
“One thing I like about my husband is that he is so patient with me, always available to even help me out in the kitchen most times”
And then, you go like,
“You are so lucky! My own husband? He is so lazy! Rather than for him to help me out in the kitchen, he prefers to sit down playing cards with little kids. I wish he is like your husband…you are so lucky o.”
This is an example, but anything like this, you have just finished the man, he would look for ways to finish you as well, because you just crushed his ego publicly! A man’s ego is so important to him that even if you try crushing it in privacy when you are alone, he will react immediately, not to talk of openly. It is not the way to go.
Do These For Your Man
2. Be ready to respect him
If you are a lady, and your song is ‘he never listens to me,’ I can tell you what is happening. Somewhere in his mind, he believes you are disrespectful.’ So any attempt to make contributions he flares up! Do you know why? He sees your contributions as trying to usurp his authority and he shuts you down or ignores you. When you find yourself in this kind of situation, rather than fight back or withdraw in frustration, try making adjustments in how you respect him, even in your choice of words and tone of voice, it all matters.
But Pastor, he doesn’t love me, why should I respect him? The instruction in Ephesians 5 is not a 50-50 contract. It’s 100% instruction.
You are not to respect him because he loves you, you are to submit to him because he is your husband. The same goes for men, you don’t love your wife because she respects you, you are to love her because she is your wife. When couples start seeing it this way, they will be amazed at the changes that will take place in their marriage!
Now, listen to this, if you are so independent and you are not ready to respect and submit to your husband, you are not ready for marriage! It doesn’t matter whether you earn more than him or whether you are more travelled, he remains the head of the house.
There cannot be two heads in the house, any two-headed creature is a monster. This is how God instituted it, and that is how it is going to work.
For singles in courtship, here is what you need to know. Never ever try disobeying God in any way because you want to respect your fiancé. For example, he asks you to come over and spend the weekend with him while you are not yet married. You have every right to disagree on that because you and I know what that would lead to. Do These For Your Man
