No man is an island is a commonsaying that talks about the state of staying away and alone from others. It is not a good thing. This is why fellowship is important
Paul speaking in Gal, 3 said this:
“There is neither Jew nor Greek, there is neither slave nor free, there is neither male nor female; for you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
According to this, in heaven there will be no restrictions due to race, sex or social standing. It will all be about if you had Jesus or not.
This is not only going to be like this in heaven, but here also on earth. You are not meant to relate with people because of their sex, race or social standing in the society or school. It should be because they are born-again just like you. It should be because they are Christians just like you. Not because they are popular or have the best gadgets at home. Or because their parents are rich or their shoes are fine or they smell nice. What should matter is that they are born-again Christians.
As a Christian you should join other believers to worship God and for bible study at school, in church and every other place the followers of Christ gather to hear about God.
Jesus expects you to be in the midst and in constant connection to other believers. That way you don’t lose your calling as a Christian, you learn more about God and His word, and much more.
If you are not connected regularly to other believers, it opens up the door for the devil to introduce what being a Christian is not to you. You start to learn new things that could be harmful to you.
Another reason why you should be with other believers is that when you are lost, they can help to show you the way back home to God.
May the Lord help you to remain connected to the fellowship of believers. Amen
Prayer: Lord. Help me not to neglect the fellowship of the brethren. Help me to stay connected. Amen.
Action point: What gathering of believers do you need to join now?
In our concluding part, I will be talking about how your marriage can move up on the level of communication and become an intimate couple. The goal in every marriage should be to know each other and be as intimate with your spouse as much as possible.
We stopped at level 3 communication. Today, we will be looking at levels 4 and 5.
Level 4: Emotional Talk.
‘Let me tell you, How I feel’.
In this fourth level of Communication, we share our feelings. When our feelings are shared, we share ourselves. Because we are what and how we feel.
We are simply making ourselves vulnerable. When we share with our mate how we feel, the intention is not whether we are right or wrong. We mostly don’t want to be judged because of how we feel. We just need our spouse to listen, understand and accept that, thats the way we feel.
We kill intimacy when we are quick to judge the feeling. Am not saying we should not correct but first acknowledge your spouse feelings.
It is difficult for most people to share their feelings than their thoughts. These are 2 very different things
‘I feel that guy is a thief’. ‘I feel, the car will break down’ ‘I am thinking the issue with the woman is not natural’.
When you share your feelings you are expressive. When you don’t share your deepest feelings, a path of you is left hidden or covered. When you share your feelings, you are vulnerable, open, unashamed, no inhibitions.
Couple should aim at growing together into this fourth level of Communication, to enjoy a higher level of intimacy.
There is still the fifth level which is highest level of Communication.
Level 5 of Communication.
Loving, Genuine Truth Talk
‘Let’s Be Honest’.
This level allows us to speak the truth in love. It is a place of honesty without condemnation.
Most couples are finding out that such open, honest and loving communication enhances a much deeper level of intimacy. Where couples can share their feelings and thoughts without feeling unsafe. Both have a sense of safety and security. This requires an attitude of acceptance.
You know your spouse understands you even if they don’t agree with you.
We can always agree to disagree without shaming ourselves or making us look like less smart.
We can have differing opinions and still be friends. No hurts, no guilt, no condemnation and we are still good to go.
We can’t be the same. Remember, acceptance is the key.
We may start out on the first level of Communication, bit please don’t let us remain there.
As a couple we should aim at moving higher in the way we relate, understand and communicate with each other.
This will require certain level of work and being intentional about getting to understand your spouse.
The higher we grow in our Kevel of communicating with ourselves the more intimate we grow with our spouse.
I pray God will grant us wisdom and grace and help is all to communicate better in Jesus name.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
Yesterday, we began this discussion on how to confront addictions and bad habits.
We mentioned three points:
1. Be honest with God 2. Nail down a stake 3. Connect with God’s power
Here is the conclusion.
4. Renew your mind This is absolutely important. How do you renew your mind? By reading and studying God’s word regularly.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God. (Romans 12:2 KJV)
Here is Message translation:
Don’t become so well-adjusted to your culture that you fit into it without even thinking. Instead, fix your attention on God. You’ll be changed from the inside out. Readily recognize what he wants from you, and quickly respond to it. Unlike the culture around you, always dragging you down to its level of immaturity, God brings the best out of you, develops well-formed maturity in you.
5. Focus your eyes You need to focus your eyes and stop all the bad habits. For example, if you view pornography on your phones or tab which leads to other Jeru trip, simply stop viewing those things. Don’t walk down to a cyber-café, knowing what will happen there.
6. Control your body Put your body under. Your body is not supposed to be giving direction or instructions. Your body is supposed to take instructions from your recreated human spirit.
7. Confide in a friend/mentor Have somebody you trust that you can talk to. Sin is perpetuated in the atmosphere of secrecy. Whatever you expose loses its power. Make sure you have somebody you can confide in.
8. Avoid tempting situations Do not go to compromising areas. Do not feed your weaknesses. While trying to fix a bad habit, it is a wrong time to attend a night party. If you have a problem with Jeru trip with a certain guy or lady, then don’t pack your bags to go and spend the weekend there! If you have issues with a married man or woman, stop picking the calls and stop going with him or her to Guesthouses!
9. Press on despite failures One mistake, while you try to stand straight, does not end it all. Press on, and never give up in your resolve to destroy what is attempting to destroy you. A just man may fall seven times, but He rises up again. He doesn’t stay down!
10. Go for total victory. Go for total victory because victory is in your DNA. You are designed to win. Jesus won on your behalf.
I pray for you this morning, you will not fail and you will not miss it. I declare your courtship/marriage blessed this day! You will not be cut off in the midst of your days. You will fulfill your destiny. I curse every distraction in your life. I come against every militating spirit against your destiny. I cancel every handwriting and ordinance against you. I break and severe you from every strange soul ties and I proclaim your freedom this day in Jesus name. Whosoever the son shall set free shall be free indeed, so I proclaim you free in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am helped by God to confront addictions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the strength to confront any known addiction in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 31:1 KJV I made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to stop all forms of compromise and confront addictions slowing you down
We live in a world where negative things are so rampant that they are all over the place. We pick habits here and there largely from the environment and from friends. Some of these habits are unhealthy for us in many ways. This may include drinking, smoking, sleeping around, gambling, masturbation, pornography, and so on.
When you have an issue you are dealing with, there are steps to take to overcome them and we are going to be looking at these steps this morning in a general sense. Whatever situation you find yourself in and whatever issues you are dealing with, there are always ways to overcome them.
In the scriptures, God has not left us helpless. He has designed ways out for us in any mess or situation we find ourselves in. In fact, He has wrought victory for us in every area of our lives.
The strategy of the devil is to take advantage of our ignorance. When you are not filled with God’s word, you will not be able to walk in the fullness of the victory that God has wrought for us.
The word of God strengthens. The word of God equips. The word of God sets free. Sin is not supposed to have dominion over us again. We have been made free! For example, many believers are still under the influence of habitual sins. May still drink. Many still masturbate. These habitual sins may be prevalent, but they are not supposed to be the norm.
Why is it important to confront habitual sins? You have to work at stopping habitual sins so that you can grow in God, enjoy the fullness of His blessings, and fulfill your ministry.
Here are ten general steps you can take to deal with any habitual sin in your life.
1. Be honest with God
This is the first step. You have to be sincere with God. You have to come clean for God to help you. Never try to deceive God. He knows all things and He sees all things. But God wants accountability. That was why He asked Adam, “Where art thou?” The scriptures says, “Be not deceived, God is not mocked…” So when you go before God, be truthful. Before Jacob’s name was changed from a deceiver to a Prince, he was asked, “What is thy name?” and He had to answer truthfully.
2. Nail down a stake
A stake is used to identify an important spot or the beginning of a journey. Decide before God to put a stop to it. The scripture says sin shall not have dominion over you. Make up your mind and ask God to help you. Don’t just continue living hopelessly and helplessly.
3. Connect with God’s power
You will need God’s power. There are habits you cannot overcome in your own strength. God never designed you to overcome them in your own strength or wisdom. As a believer, you have been configured to survive with the help of the Holy Spirit. Connect with that power and walk in the Spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh.
I will stop here for today and continue tomorrow by showing us more ways to confront addictions.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am helped by God to confront addictions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me the strength to confront any known addiction in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 31:1 KJVI made a covenant with mine eyes; why then should I think upon a maid?.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to stop all forms of compromise and confront addictions slowing you down
We started on the topic “Five levels of communication” yesterday. We learned how important communication is in marriage. Not just anyhow communication but husbands and wives should dedicate time and attention to proper and effective ways to communicate with each other.
It can’t be over emphasised, that intimacy in marriage can only be brought as we grow from one level of communication to the other levels.
There are 5 levels of Communication.
1. The Halfway talker In this type of conversation, no intimacy is developed or worked at. This conversation doesn’t involve wanting to know the feeling or thought process or pattern of the other person. The conversation is on auto-drive.
You have a particular way of response to what is said or asked. Example, ‘How are you doing?’. ‘Fine’. ‘How are the kids?’ They have gone to school.’
The essence of communicating with each other is to develop intimacy. No deep communication, no intimacy. And intimacy is the essence of marriage. Why am I married if I can’t enjoy love, acceptance, understanding, oneness, sincerity, and transparency?
Every married couple, should aim at climbing the steps of communication to further develop the intimacy between them.
You can’t be involved in monosyllable answers and expect intimacy to be developed.
If couples are not careful or well discerning, 20 years of their married life will pass so quickly and they will discover they have not improved on their communication and that they are still in the ‘hallway’ method of communicating.
They were distracted by work, a busy schedule, distracted with the children and yet each spouse was just coping and not really pleased with each other.
The children are grown and they are now left with each other to deal with the hurts piled up for so many years and not talked about.
2. Reporter’s Talk This level is a step further than the first. Here, the conversation moves from general talks to talking or giving facts or information about events. It is a reported kind of talk.
Here, more information is given but stills this kind of conversation does not promote intimacy. In level 2 communication, we do not express our opinions, thoughts, or how we feel about the subject matter.
If you are at this level 2 communication, your aim should be to move up and climb the steps of effective communication so that intimacy could be endangered.
Remember, level 2 communication is summarised, ‘Just give me the facts’.
Level 3: Intellectual Talk At this conversation level, your spouse is given the freedom to think differently. This is an amazing gift to give each other in marriage.
It is recognising the fact that each one of you is a unique individual with different perspective, view point and way of reasoning.
Marriage is trying to bring our way of thinking into alignment without suffocating the uniqueness of each others’ thinking. Two becoming one is choosing the best of our different thinking patterns and or merging our different opinions till we arrive at the best alternative.
When we recognize our weaknesses and strengths and know that each one of us has a role and part to play and that neither of us is superior to another, we will honor each other and give each other the opportunity to air our opinions.
This type of conversation is not just limited to a ‘Yes’ or ‘No’ answer. The wife’s or husband’s opinion is needed and necessary.
Example,
‘Are the children eating rice this afternoon?’ ‘I don’t think it will be the best option for them. They need more vegetables in their diet’.
It is important to note that, the question, what do you think about….is so important in husband wife conversations.
Your husband or wife’s opinion matters and don’t want them feeling like they are not smart. If the wife is just accepting every decision made and not really a part of the decision-making process and involved in the intellectual aspect of thinking through, there will eventually be problems later on in the marriage.
I will continue on the levels of communication tomorrow by Gods grace.
May God grant us more understanding in Jesus name. God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I know how to communicate with my wife
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 5:22 KJV Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord.
