Against contrary opinions, respect in marriage is mutual. People are of the opinion that respect for the husbands is a big deal. Yes, it is. Just as men do not want to be disrespected in private or public, so also do women need a dose of respect.
Men can readily tell what a bruised ego is and in this part of the world, an average man will not tolerate being disrespected in any form, method, shape, or size. In other to have a relationship that is healthy and mutually beneficial, respect has to be mutual.
Some of us don’t even know when we are being disrespected. The gospel of men’s dominance has been preached for so long that women feel they are not worth much, that they are just worthless, less than good, helpless, weaker vessels.
Contrary, women have tremendous strength, ability, knowledge, wisdom, and great dexterity. It takes great strength to be a mother and give birth to a child. To keep a home, multitask, submit to your husband and stay married. All these take great strength.
But if we are going to have a healthy marriage relationship, we would know that submission to one another in the fear of God is essential. A man not submitted to Christ is a difficult man and hard to submit to.
This is not teaching or telling wives not to submit to their husbands. It is addressing the fact that marriage is meant to be mutually beneficial to both the husband and the wife.
What are the practical ways to show respect to yourselves in marriage?
I will write about that tomorrow.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My marriage is blessed in all ramifications.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will enable you to pay the price for the fullness of His blessings in your home.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:4 [AMP]Let marriage be held in honor (esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear) in all things. And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled (kept undishonored); for God will judge and punish the unchaste [all guilty of sexual vice] and adulterous.
We started this topic yesterday by looking at how Apostle Peter admonished all wives to be devoted to their husbands. He also encouraged wives to avoid nagging as it doesn’t work.
Let’s glean more wisdom from those verses.
1Pe 3:2 For when they observe your pure, godly life before God, it will impact them deeply.
Here, Peter talks about wives being concerned about what they do, rather than any other thing. Wives are to live holy, pure, and godly lives. No lies, deception, emotional affairs, etc.
1Pe 3:3 (3-4) Let your true beauty come from your inner personality, not a focus on the external. For lasting beauty comes from a gentle and peaceful spirit, which is precious in God’s sight and is much more important than the outward adornment of elaborate hair, jewelry, and fine clothes.
This deals with the issue of beauty and all that surrounds it. A woman’s life can be so engrossed in fashion and beauty. It could even be an obsession, with the so many beauty products available. The Bible tells wives that to be priceless before your husband and before God, you have to pay utmost attention to your heart (inward personality) of having a quiet and peaceable spirit. Sincerity and openness of heart are very good virtues.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I receive strength to be who God has made me to be
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Pray for a submissive heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY After all, we don’t want to unwittingly give Satan an opening for yet more mischief – we’re not oblivious to his sly ways! (2Co 2:11 MSG)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Read the bible passage in other translations
This is the scripture I used in our OIL FOR TODAY prayer time, and when I asked my husband what to write on today, he just pointed out this scripture. I want you to pause and say this to yourself “God is restoring my dignity in marriage”
So I will be bringing out some salient points from this scripture.
I Sam2:8 MSG He puts poor people on their feet again; he rekindles burned-out lives with fresh hope, Restoring dignity and respect to their lives— a place in the sun! For the structures of earth are God ’s; he has laid out his operations on a firm foundation.
I will like to address the wives, using this portion of scripture. You can stand on it, meditate on it and pray it into your life. It is a promise you can claim.
God is able to restore dignity and respect to you as a wife.
In so many marriages, wives don’t have any dignity or respect. Their husbands treat them like they are of little value, (of cause to the detriment of the husband that does so).
The bible says male and female He created them and He blessed them.
God spoke: “Let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature So they can be responsible for the fish in the sea, the birds in the air, the cattle, And, yes, Earth itself, and every animal that moves on the face of Earth.” God created human beings; he created them godlike, Reflecting God’s nature. He created them male and female. God blessed them: “Prosper! Reproduce! Fill Earth! Take charge! Be responsible for fish in the sea and birds in the air, for every living thing that moves on the face of Earth.” Genesis 1:26 – 28 MSG
If you are born again, you are in the image and likeness of God. You reflect God. You are a piece of the Master, a masterpiece. Any husband that treats you less than that is abusing you as a wife
Every husband must seek to push their wives to be all that God created them to be. Your wife should become better, bigger, smarter, now that she is joined to you.
We see husbands pitting their wives down, talking down on them. God is restoring dignity and respect into your life and calling as a wife.
You are meant to be a helpmeet to your husband. No husband is better than his wife in the sight of God. But positionally, the husband is the head of the union. The wife stoops for him to take the lead because that is the order of God. That is what God recognizes and honors.
The husband and wife are co-laborers and joint-heirs with God. When God calls the man, he calls the woman too to assist him.
Some wives respect and dignity have been eroded. Their words are not respected. Their wisdom is not respected. They cannot advise. I feel one way to show respect to wives is to listen and trust God to always put His wisdom into their hearts.
When husbands maintain this attitude, it will even make the wives more sensitive in the Spirit because they will know that demand is been laid upon them by their husband to be spiritually sensitive.
I first heard this from Kenneth Hagin. As spiritual as he was, with several visions of Jesus Christ, he will always check with his wife before he takes any major step. I mean that is humility. Some husbands prefer to spend hours talking to some friends as against talking to their wives.
Whatever has taken away your dignity and respect in your marriage and home, God is restoring it in the mighty name of Jesus.
Restoring wealth is one major way God restore dignity and respect. Even the bible says the wisdom of the poor man was despised because of his poverty.
God will give wives voice and wealth. Mama Adejumo said not every wife can be slapped and sent packing, a husband is gentle when the wife brings in a 6 digit income every month.
I see God restoring every wives’ dignity and respect in Jesus mighty name.
Every wife should develop themself so much that before anything happens in the home, they know. Their words carry weight and God the Holy Spirit uses them.
As a wife, you cannot be respected if you still engage in lying, stealing, you have no integrity, et cetera. You have to exercise the fruit of the spirit as recorded in Gal 5:22
Let God fight and defend you. Hold your peace.
God bless our marriage in Jesus name.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY God is restoring honor and dignity to my marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Oh Lord, restore unto me all that I have lost.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Sam 2:8 (CEV)You lift the poor and homeless out of the garbage dump and give them places of honor in royal palaces. You set the world on foundations, and they belong to you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Study the word ‘restoration’
In today’s couples‘ devotionals, we will be looking at commandments for all wives on KHC. These “commandments” and principles will be the game changer in your marriage.
1. Thou shalt love the Lord thy God, thou shalt love Him and thou shall ensure your relationship with God is intact. Thou shall know that is it is not by power, nor by might but by His Spirit. Thou shall know that it is not about thy beauty, thy carriage, thy acumen, thy intelligence or connections, but by the Lord thy God which helpeth thee.
2. Thou shall not double date. If thou double date, thou shall not have God’s support and favor in thy marriage. Thou shall not play games with your life or destiny. Thou shall not slow thyself down by deliberate disobedience to God’s way of doing things.
3. Thou shall not love another man apart from thy husband. Thou shall not secretly fall in love with another man either in thy heart or reality. Thou shall not practice emotional affairs. Thou shall only love and defer to thy husband for that is where the Lord commandeth His blessings. Thou shall not do anything that will render thy prayers ineffective.
4. If thou art delayed in the area of childbirth, thou shall not because of that compromise or look for other ‘alternatives’ Thou shall know that God has a plan for thy life and that waiting and trusting for that plan is the best to do. Thou shall know and believe that the thoughts of God towards you are thoughts of peace and not of evil.
5. Thou shall not succumb to the pressures at work. In your environment or from those that thou callest friends, thou shall stand as a rock and refuse to be moved. In all that thou puttest thy hands to do, thou shall make up thine mind to do it God’s way.
6. Thou shall not disrespect thy husband. Thou shall defer to him in all things in the Lord, thou shall honour him, and treat him as your head and crown. Thou shall know that if thou disrespect him whom God has set as your head, thou will not be able to enter into the fullness of the blessing that God hath for you.
7. Thou shall not nag thy husband. This is the seventh commandment. Thou shall understand that thou can send thy husband away from thy home when you become contentious.
8. Thou shall not deny thy husband Jeru trip. Thou shall not pretend to have headache or fever when thy husband toucheth you. Thou shall know that thy husband will never be able to love you the way he should if you denieth him at most times. Thou shall not use Jeru trip as a punishment or reward!
9. Thou shall not offer thy body to another man. Thou shall know that that thy body is the temple of the Holy Ghost and God seeth it as sacred. Thou shall hold thy body in dignity and good self- esteem. Thou shall not offer your body in exchange for money. Thou shall not travel to see another man I the name of ‘business.
10. Thou shall learn to dress for your husband at home because he is moved by sight. Thou shall dress well for thy husband. Thou shall understand that a man is moved by sight.
I know there are still a lot more, so you may add other commandments that resonates with you with the comment form.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be or aspire to be a good woman and wife. I obey God’s commandments
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Ask God to mould you into the picture of the woman He has for you
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Likewise, ye wives, be in subjection to your own husbands; that, if any obey not the word, they also may without the word be won by the conversation of the wives; 2 While they behold your chaste conversation coupled with fear. 3 Whose adorning let it not be that outward adorning of plaiting the hair, and of wearing of gold, or of putting on of apparel; 4 But let it be the hidden man of the heart, in that which is not corruptible, even the ornament of a meek and quiet spirit, which is in the sight of God of great price (1 Peter 3:1-4 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide on steps to take to be the woman that God really wants