Let’s be real—relationships are hard work. But sometimes, guys, you might be doing things that leave your wife feeling less than seen. Not exactly what you’re going for, right? So let’s dive into a few things she’s wishing you’d stop ASAP (and yes, this could be the game-changer you need).
1. Ignoring Her Emotional Needs
Okay, guys, let’s get into it. One of the biggest complaints wives have? Feeling emotionally neglected. No, this doesn’t mean grand gestures 24/7, but more about tuning in to what matters to her. Like, when she’s stressed or feeling down, and you’re zoned out or not picking up on her vibes, that can feel isolating.
2. Taking Her for Granted
Pro tip: Start by being a better listener. I’m talking about active listening. When she’s talking, don’t just wait for your turn to speak. Pay attention, nod (yup, nodding helps!), and for the love of all things good, put down your phone. Try asking her open-ended questions like, “How are you feeling about that?” to get the convo flowing. Emotional support doesn’t always need a solution—it needs presence.
If your wife is juggling life like a pro—managing work, home, maybe even kids—and you’re just assuming that’s all part of the deal without a thank you, she’s going to feel invisible. And guess what? Feeling unseen is one of the quickest ways to erode love and respect in a relationship.
Take the time to notice what she does, whether it’s prepping dinner after a long day or making sure the bills are paid on time. A simple “thank you” goes a long way. Oh, and try surprising her—offer to take care of the laundry or plan a date night. Small actions like these build big points.
3. Leaving All the Chores to Her
Look, no one loves chores, but they’re a necessary evil. What’s worse, though? Dumping it all on your wife. Imagine carrying the weight of keeping the house running day in and day out—alone. Yeah, that’s how a lot of wives feel when their husbands don’t pitch in.
Hack this: Make a chore schedule. Seriously, writing it down helps keep everyone accountable, and no one feels like they’re getting the short end of the stick. Whether it’s cooking, cleaning, or taking out the trash, sharing responsibilities builds teamwork (and saves her from feeling like she’s pulling double duty).
4. Being Unreliable and Breaking Promises
Trust is the bedrock of marriage, and being unreliable can chip away at it fast. We’re not talking about the big promises, like forgetting your anniversary (though don’t do that). It’s the little things, like saying you’ll help with something and then forgetting. These small letdowns add up.
Be realistic about what you can commit to. Don’t make promises just to make her happy in the moment—only to bail later. If something does come up and you can’t follow through, be upfront. Honesty builds trust. And when you do mess up? Apologize quick. A genuine “I’m sorry” and a plan to fix it goes a long way.
5. Constantly Bringing Up the Past
We’ve all made mistakes, but if you’re the type who drags up old arguments or past slip-ups every time you’re upset, it’s gotta stop. It’s exhausting and stalls growth. Plus, it keeps your relationship stuck in a negative loop—how can you move forward if you’re always looking backward?
Pro move: Focus on now. When an issue arises, address it in the moment, then let it go. No one wants to be reminded of that thing they did wrong five years ago, especially your wife. If necessary, have a heart-to-heart where you both lay things out on the table and then agree to put those past grievances to rest. Move forward together.
6. Trying to Change Her
Look, you fell in love with her for who she is, right? Trying to mold her into someone she’s not is a one-way ticket to resentment town. Whether it’s little habits you want to change or something bigger, like her career choices or interests, it’s a no-go.
Embrace her quirks, celebrate her strengths, and love her as she is. Wanting your partner to grow is one thing, but pushing them to become someone else entirely? That’s where things can go off the rails. Marriage thrives on mutual respect, not on trying to fit each other into a mold. Love her in all her realness—imperfections and all.
Time to Level Up
Now that you’ve got the inside scoop on what not to do to your wife, it’s time to take action. The good news? It’s all doable. Small shifts in how you show up emotionally, in daily tasks, and how you communicate can transform your relationship.
Ready to be the husband she brags about? Start putting these tips into practice, and watch how your connection strengthens. What’s one change you’ll make this week? Let’s chat in the comments!
Final Thought: Marriage isn’t about perfection; it’s about showing up for each other, every day, in the ways that matter most.
Ten Ways to Show Appreciation for Your Partner’s Efforts
In this article, we’ll explore the ten ways to show appreciation for your partner’s efforts and pragmatically express your love.
1. Verbal Affirmation.
Choose moments with your partner, look into their eyes, and lovingly tell them what their efforts mean. Let sincerity ring in each word so they feel the warmth of love in your voice, and the strength to continue in the marital journey. It is abusive to never express and affirm your love!
2. Quality Time.
In a busy world, it’s easy to forget your loved one. Create spaces to unplug, listen with focus given only to them, and invent pleasurable times together, however small. Whether it’s a date night or a weekend getaway, make time for each other.
3. Acts of Service.
Lovingly lighten each other’s load. Through small deeds done without being asked, show your love and affection to your partner.
4. Written Notes.
Words can outlive a moment. Capture your feelings for them on paper and leave them as surprises to discover. Simple notes may become treasures kept and re-read to remember they have a place in your heart.
5. Gifts.
Thoughtful gifts don’t just gather dust – they say “I listened, I care, I want to see you smile.” Find what sparks joy for your loved one and present it regularly to watch their eyes light up with joy.
6. Support.
A partnership is giving strength when the other has none left. Celebrate each win together, and in times of struggle stand beside them as shelter from the storm. Your steady faith in them will help bear them through all the ups and downs.
7. Quality Touch.
Our bodies know languages that words cannot say. With touch, express the wordless ways you find comfort in being close. Casual moments of contact can speak volumes of the bond you share. Physical touch releases oxytocin, the love hormone, which strengthens your bond and shows your partner that you care.
8. Help with Chores.
Lending helping hands with chores to show them their rest and dreams are as important as your own. Teamwork makes any task lighter.
9. Surprises.
Keep the magic alive with surprises. Surprise them with fun, thoughtful gestures, with passion and care. Surprises say “I was thinking of only you in this moment and wanted to bring you joy.”
10. Gratitude.
Say thanks for all they are to you each day, not just grand gestures but small kindnesses. Gratitude is the simplest love language – so speak it with your eyes, smile, touch, and heart.
Showing appreciation is a powerful way to build a stronger relationship and marriage, so take the time to show your partner that you value and appreciate their efforts.
One of the greatest elements of the foundation of our relationship and marriage was prayers. Oh yes, we prayed. There were no mobile phones in those days, but it was made possible because we attended the same college! We prayed like our lives depended on it, and yes, our lives depended on it!
Today, you have phones and other gadgets, so distance should not even be an issue for you in praying together.
Why should you pray? The devil is on the prowl, and you cannot afford to play. A person who does not pray will eventually become a prey.
Here are a few tips that will help you build a strong prayer life in your relationship or marriage:
1. Prioritize it
The first thing in the morning is not checking your phone. The first thing is to worship and pray to your maker. If you are single in a relationship, you and your lover can have a fixed time and wake up one another via calls regardless of your location. If you are already married, it is even much better. I know some couples wake up at different times and pray separately.
That is okay, but ensure you still find other times when you pray together. Carve out some quality time to pray together and create that special connection. It’s about opening up, being real, and bringing God into your relationship.
2. Add Bible Juice.
God’s word is life! Sprinkle some relevant scriptures into your prayer times to add some extra spice. Let your prayers be Bible-based, and make sure you have a word to back up your request like a lawyer would do in court. This will encourage you as partners to dig into God’s word to find relevant scriptures for your prayers.
3. Keep It Real and Vulnerable.
No need to “form” for God! Prayer is all about being raw and open with God and your partner. It’s a safe space to share your deepest dreams, struggles, and flaws. Embrace that authenticity, yo! Being vulnerable in prayer creates an environment for you and your partner to grow together. Realness breeds a solid connection, and prayer is the perfect platform for that.
4. Make it a Habit
Consistency is the key. The devil fears consistency, and that is why he fights it. Do everything possible to maintain consistency in the timing and the place where you pray. Systemize your prayer times, and you will see God bring systems and structures into your life and finances.
One of the ways to avoid rancour in relationships and marriage is to budget. Not just a budget, but a budget that honors God.
As Christians, we are called to be good stewards of our resources, including our finances. Creating a budget that honors God requires us to prioritize our spending, live within our means, and trust in His provision.
In this devotional, we will explore practical steps to create a budget that aligns with biblical principles and honors God.
Step 1: Identify Your Income
Start by calculating your total monthly income from all sources, including your job, investments, and any side hustles. This will give you a clear picture of how much money you have coming in each month.
Step 2: Categorize Your Expenses
Next, categorize your expenses into needs, wants, and giving. Needs include essential expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, food, and transportation. Wants include discretionary expenses like entertainment, hobbies, and travel. Giving includes your tithe (10% of your income) and any other charitable donations.
Step 3: Prioritize Your Spending
Prioritize your spending based on biblical principles. Here are some guidelines to consider.
Give first: Set aside your tithe and any other charitable donations as soon as you receive your income. “Each one must give as he has decided in his heart, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” – 2 Corinthians 9:7
Meet your needs: Ensure you have enough money for essential expenses like rent/mortgage, utilities, food, and transportation.
Save for the future: Set aside a portion of your income for long-term savings and investments.
Live within your means: Avoid overspending and debt by living within your means.
Step 4: Create a Budget Plan
Using the 50/30/20 rule as a guideline, allocate your income into the following categories.
50% for needs (essential expenses)
30% for wants (discretionary expenses)
20% for giving and savings (tithe, charitable donations, and long-term savings)
Step 5: Monitor and Adjust
Regularly monitor your spending and adjust your budget as needed. Consider using a budgeting app or spreadsheet to track your expenses and stay on top of your finances
This will help singles know what to look for and help couples know what to pray for concerning their spouses.
Lovebirds! Before you tie the knot, it’s essential to know about marriage. Here are the top ten things to know before saying “I do” – and we’re keeping it real with some scripture to back it up!
Communication is Key
Is your communication top-notch, or does your tongue cleave to the roof of your mouth when you are together? If you cannot bear your mind in their presence, don’t go ahead!
Are you already married, and you have this issue? Work on it, pray about it, and seek therapy! Things like that don’t improve on their own. Thankfully, Kisses and Huggs Club offers therapy!
Col 4:6 (MSG) Be gracious in your speech. The goal is to bring out the best in others in a conversation, not put them down, not cut them out.
Marriage is a Partnership
Marriage is a 50/50 partnership, not a 100/0 dictatorship. Understand that compromise and teamwork are essential in navigating life’s challenges together.
If you can’t handle some imperfection, if you can’t forgive, if you have uncontrollable anger tantrums, don’t marry! Stay single! Two are meant to get better, not bitter!
Ecc 4:9 (MSG) It’s better to have a partner than go it alone. Share the work, share the wealth.
Independence is Important.
You are one flesh, but you have two personalities and two different minds! Marriage should not swallow your individuality, intellect, and reasoning. Love your wife, respect your husband but develop your career and support yourselves.
Have a life and have some hobbies, but ensure you also have hobbies that bring you together and foster your togetherness.
Dear ladies; run away from feminism; it’s from the pit of hell.
Respect is Non-Negotiable
Mutual respect is vital in a marriage. Treat each other with kindness, compassion, and understanding, even in difficult times. Especially for men, respect is such a major issue.
I usually tell ladies, if you can’t respect that man, don’t bother to marry him!
There you have it, dear singles and couples! By knowing these few things before saying “I do,” you’ll be better equipped to build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling marriage. Remember, marriage is a partnership, and with love, respect, and commitment, you can overcome any obstacle that comes your way.
