SINGLES – Dear Pastor, Can I Kiss My Fiancé or Fiancée?
Continued from yesterday…
This is because it will always lead to something else! What you did the last time will not satisfy you the next time you meet, and before you know it, there will be a compromise.
If you are kissing someone who is not your wife somewhere and I bump into you as your pastor, what will happen? You will quickly apologize. Why? You are doing something out of place.
On the other hand, if I am kissing my wife somewhere and you bump into us, it is still you that will apologize because you are interrupting us and what we are doing is in place!
I can’t walk into a place now and then you grab my wife to kiss her and then tell me you are greeting her. I will remove my suit and fight you!
But candidly speaking, you may not find any scripture in the Bible that says kissing is a sin, but it will surely lead you into sin because of the law of progression. It is better to stay off.
After marriage, if you decide to kiss your spouse for a whole day non-stop, God will not frown at it, because your bodies belong to each other.
Don’t be deceived that since God says not to fornicate, kissing must then be a way out to relieve pressures!
You cannot kiss strangers you met two hours ago all in the name of expressing your love. The power of life and death lies in your mouth, so says the scriptures. You want to be careful then with whom you get entangled and lock that mouth with!
There are people you kiss and destinies are swallowed up! There are strange lips all over the place and that is why it is important you follow God’s order. I am a Pastor for close to twenty-five years and I can tell you my eyes have seen a little and my ears have heard enough to make them tingle.
Ladies, you cannot submit your lips to a guy as if you are submitting a sheet of paper in the examination hall. Your body is the temple of the Holy Ghost! Guard it. If the guy or the lady is hungry, must it be your lips that would be eaten? Honour yourself and honour God’s word so that God will honour you.
I have seen a guy who only kissed someone he met and he became mentally unstable from then. I have had to pray for a lady who practically lost her mind because of sexual sin!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I receive wisdom to discern between positive and negative influences in my life and grace to avoid the negative.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY In Jesus’ name, I resist the power of negative influence over my life.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 7:25 MSG The answer, thank God, is that Jesus Christ can and does. He acted to set things right in this life of contradictions where I want to serve God with all my heart and mind, but am pulled by the influence of sin to do something totally different.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Cut off your association with any person, place, or thing that is influencing you negatively.
As they sat before me in the office, I counseled them and then explained a few things.
1. While you were on campus, you gave access to the devil in your life when you flouted the rules of the fellowship. That deception was the loophole that the devil capitalized on to have an inroad into your life. You see, one degree away from truth is falsehood. When you start telling lies, you are dancing on the terrain of the devil because he is that father of all lies.
2. You had no mentor or pastor over your relationship. There will always be issues you wouldn’t be able to handle alone. Mentors are supposed to save you from the tormentors of life.
3. God is never mocked. All the time you combined ministering with deceptive lifestyle, it was only the mercy of God that kept you alive. You were sowing the wrong seeds that would later haunt you.
4. The compromise you had then has destroyed trust between the two of you. And up till now, that trust is still missing. You now need to do something about it so that you don’t crash your marriage eventually. No marriage will survive without trust.
5. You asked God for forgiveness and He forgave you, but both of you have refused to forgive yourselves.
6. You need to forgive yourselves and allow the trust to be rebuilt again in your life. If you keep on being victims of your past, your past will control you.
7. As a married couple, find someone to mentor both of you.
8. And now, an important point. Consciously build trust again. You do that by constant communication. Never hide anything from each other again. Be open; be naked and not ashamed. Don’t allow secrets to be discovered. That will rupture trust the more. If anybody is disturbing you, open up immediately. If he or she has to discover, then trust is ruptured the more.
9. Pray together regularly. You cannot ignore that.
10. Relax together. Talk a lot. Go on outings together. Spend time together and rebuild that trust!
I see you come out victorious.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be a victim of the past arrows
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will help you to heal from wounds of past arrows
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Eph 1:18 [GW] Then you will have deeper insight. You will know the confidence that he calls you to have and the glorious wealth that God’s people will inherit.
Jane sat before me, completely downcast. She was exasperated.
“Pastor, I don’t really understand.” She said
“What is the issue?”
“Pastor, Scott broke up with me! I mean, I could not believe it. I was so sure I had found my God-ordained man.
“What was his reason for doing that?”
“Pastor, you wouldn’t believe it.”
“Tell me”
“Because of my tongues!”
“What happened to your tongues?”
“He said my tongues are monosyllables. That it is not diverse tongues!”
There are many people who have found themselves in the shoes of Jane or Scott as the case may be.
One guy actually told a lady, “All your tongues are not more than Sanda…Sanda…Sanda… When will you ever get a shoe when you don’t know more than Sandal?”
While this may seem hilarious, most people keep on making this mistake.
Here are a few points to note that will set the link between spirituality and tongues straight.
1. A Spiritual Experience
Speaking in tongues is a spiritual experience. You cannot use your physical ears to judge or decode what is being said and the import of what is being communicated.
2. Communication With God
Whoever is speaking in tongues is essentially communicating with God. It is none of your business how it sounds to your ears!
For he that speaketh in an unknown tongue speaketh not unto men, but unto God: for no man understandeth him; howbeit in the spirit he speaketh mysteries. – 1 Corinthians 14:2 (KJV)
3. The One-Syllable Myth
A person can utter one syllable and yet might have communicated a volume of Information.
This is why the complimentary gift is called “Gift of INTERPRETATION and not TRANSLATION.
4. Relationship With God
The spirituality of a tongue is never determined in the rich vowels or how it sounds to the ears, it is determined more from the relationship that person has with God.
To be continued tomorrow!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be carnally minded.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me not to choose by the flesh
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:6 NKJV For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Speak in tongues for 1 hour
5. Getting married because a pastor or parent said so
Yes, pastors and parents can advise and give a go-ahead. But you also have to be convinced by yourself. Your parent or pastor will not live in the marriage with you. Marry because there is peace, purpose, attraction, and compatibility. Hear God for yourself.
6. Getting married to someone you cannot submit to
Wives are called to ultimately submit to their own husbands. However, submission in marriage is also mutual. Never marry someone you are not ready or willing to submit to.
7. Getting married when you are not ready to love as Christ loves the church
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
Christ is the perfect example of love; the God kind of love that is without selfish motive. If you cannot love sacrificially, don’t marry that person.
8. Getting married just because you are from the same tribe or have things in common
You are not marrying because of your tribe or home town. You are marrying that person because you want to fulfill purpose and destiny together.
9. Getting married because people advised or counsel you to do so
People’s advice and counsel can very well be wrong and misleading. Only God leads well and right. God will not ask the people, He will ask you. Be answerable for your own destiny. Don’t marry solely out of people’s advice.
10. Getting married because of the present alone
Don’t marry a person because of his/her present situation alone. Have deep consideration for his/her future too. Is he rich now but on his way to being poor because he lacks the power to sustain and multiply wealth? That is one of the pertinent questions to ask.
Have a great day!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will marry rightly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, lead me to the right person for me.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Isaiah 30:21 [KJV] And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.
4. When you are in love with your Pastor who is married
This one may sound ridiculous, but trust me, it happens every day, I am a counselor!
A lot of ladies fall in love easily with their pastor because he is anointed and they listen to him every time. It is so easy to fall in love with your pastor, but when a Pastor who is married has fallen in love with you as well, it is better and wise to leave that church as soon as possible, because if you don’t, you will ruin yourselves!
By the time he is making advances at you, you should find another church! There is a difference between a hireling and a pastor! Don’t bother to pray that God should work it out! Are you praying that God should kill the Pastor’s wife?
If you have been sexually involved or manipulated by your pastor, leave that church. He might be a prophet or an apostle, if you are sleeping together, leave that church and leave that man!
Did you miss out on yesterday’s devotional, we’ve got you covered. Kindly go HERE. For KHC video Devotionals, kindly go HERE
You say he is a spiritual father, he is married and yet sleeping with you? He is not a spiritual father; he is a spiritual nemesis! Run away! Avoid him!
Don’t bother praying. It is like both of you are sitting on a bomb, and it is better to disappear from that church! Don’t waste your time asking for His will. His will is clear, disconnect from such a relationship so that you will not delay yourself in your marital journey!
He is never going to leave his wife as he is promising you. All those lies are manipulations to keep you down in the sexual adventure.
At such scenarios, you don’t deceive yourself, you tell yourself the truth so that the truth can set you free.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not miss it in marriage.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes to know who to avoid in life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 2:12 [KJV]To deliver thee from the way of the evil man, from the man that speaketh froward things;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Review your relationship in light of the above and mark out those to avoid.
