Don’t foolaround with a strange woman! Go and settle with your spouse!
Why go on a regular and consistent lunchtime with someone you are not married to?
Why keep having special moments together with someone apart from your spouse? You will trap yourself like that once your emotions are involved.
Some men will go ahead and say they are strong and they are spiritual.
Well look at verse 26 in King James Version:
For she hath cast down many wounded: yea, many strong men have been slain by her. (Proverbs 7:26 KJV)
Beware! You say you are spiritual? Is that why you will go and drop her off at her house and then talk for about two hours everyday while your wife is waiting at home? That is not a wise thing to do! By the time you will gladly give her money and yet refuse to provide for your family at home, she already had you!
Dear Pastor, when you are always with her, in the office, behind close doors, she is your P.A, she is your secretary, she is your organizer, she accompanies you to meetings, and you spend more time with her than you do with your spouse, you enjoy talking with her and she makes you laugh while you think your wife is a bore, I don’t care how spiritual you are or how many visions you see per day, you have just set up yourself for a great fall!
The other time, I had to handle a case of the pastor who was sleeping with his wife’s younger sister regularly, and would still preach on the pulpit against fornication and adultery! The wife would go to work and leave both of them at home.
The man was far-gone, on the expressway to hell, but didn’t know! The younger sister kept saying it was the Pastor forcing him, yet she refused to leave the house! Strange! The man had to be referred to his spiritual father to help restore him.
What are you still doing in that kind of relationship where you keep trampling in the principles of God and then coming up with lame excuses that she was the one?
Take a cue from the last verse:
Her house is the way to hell, going down to the chambers of death. (Proverbs 7:27 KJV)
If her house leads to hell and chambers of death, simply quit going there! Disconnect from that sinful relationship! Lobatan! Relationship is by choice, not by force!
Ladies, when somebody is asking you out in a lesbian relationship, it is strange! Run for your life! That is not God’s order!
May God deliver you from the strange woman.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am delivered from the strange woman.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, deliver me from the strange woman.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Soon she has him eating out of her hand, bewitched by her honeyed speech. (Proverbs 7:21 Message)
You can be free from wrong spirits in relationships. Yesterday, I showed you how these spirit works with various examples. Today, I will show you how deliverance comes from the word.
You see there is interplay of money and jeru trip. There is dual operation of the spirits of mammon and perversion. The prostitute gives her body to get money. The man gives his money to get a lady. The student offers her body to get money for school fees. The young man sleeps with older men to get money. The employer sleeps with potential employees to give them job. Young men give their body to older women abroad to get money and citizenship. Guys join gay clubs to get business deals and it goes on and on. The pastor uses the grace of God over his life (or is it disgrace now) to lure innocent souls looking for help!
But the scripture above advises:
Let your character or moral disposition be free from love of money [including greed, avarice, lust, and craving for earthly possessions] and be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have];
You should not allow greed and love for money to determine your character and moral disposition! There is deliverance in God. After getting the money and losing your soul, what then? That is the question, what then!
The rich man acquired and stored up riches and then sat down to enjoy and God said, ‘you are dying tomorrow!’ Lobatan! What then?
So how will I survive? How will I get a job? How will I pay for my school fees? How will I start my business?
The scripture advises futher: Be satisfied with your present circumstances! Then put your trust in God. He is able to meet your needs! Stop every compromise and start all over again!
… be satisfied with your present [circumstances and with what you have]; for He [God] Himself has said, I will not in any way fail you nor give you up nor leave you without support. [I will] not, [I will] not, [I will] not in any degree leave you helpless nor forsake nor let [you] down (relax My hold on you)! [Assuredly not!]
God will not fail you! Don’t reduce yourself to a commercial article tossed from men to men and from bed to bed because of money! Your God is the provider, not any man!
He will not leave you helpless. He will not forsake you. He will not relax His hold on you! Trust him today. Believe Him and believe His word and unleash the blessings of heaven over your life.
For those of you that have kept yourself so far, keep on relying on Him. Refuse to be distracted at the pressures around you!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY Lord, I am free from the love of money
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will show you his deliverance
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Heb 13:5 MSG Don’t be obsessed with getting more material things. Be relaxed with what you have. Since God assured us, “I’ll never let you down, never walk off and leave you,”
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from all ungodly and sinful associations and influences
Words are powerful. Words are eternal. They don’t die.
Jesus said words are spirits.
Joh 6:63 KJV It is the spirit that quickeneth; the flesh profiteth nothing: the words that I speak unto you, they are spirit, and they are life.
Nations have gone to war because of words spoken and battles have been known to come to an end because of words.
Jesus also said that words reveal what is in a man’s heart.
Luk 6:45 AMP The upright (honorable, intrinsically good) man out of the good treasure [stored] in his heart produces what is upright (honorable and intrinsically good), and the evil man out of the evil storehouse brings forth that which is depraved (wicked and intrinsically evil); for out of the abundance (overflow) of the heart his mouth speaks.
You can decode a man’s attitude from his words. His words, when analysed will show you where he is going.
This morning, I want to show you a few words that men who claim to be your lover often say that show something is defective somewhere. They let you know that your relationship or marriage needs some attention and counsel. Here are a few of those statements that your lover may not be saying.
1. I am not a religious freak. I don’t like church stuffs. I can’t be a fanatic.
What he is really saying: I don’t want to be spiritual. I will not always go to church. I don’t believe in God that much. Once we are married, you will have to stop going to church as you do now.
The implication: Your spiritual life will be depleted. You will not be on the same page. Without a good foundation of spiritual life and relationship with God, you will be limited, you will do a lot of things with struggles and you will never be able to enter the fullness of God’s blessings for your life.
2. There is nothing wrong with sex as long as we love ourselves, although I am not insisting. Even pastors are messing up.
What he is really saying: I will soon get you. It is a matter of time. I will wait for you to get emotionally connected with me and fall in love hopelessly and then you won’t be able to say No. How will I be in a relationship without having sex? ‘You never know anything!’
The implication: His word already reveals his heart. If you stay in a relationship with such a person, you will soon compromise. It is just a matter of time. If you value your relationship with God, you will disconnect from any tiny appearance of compromise before you become entangled and fall in love.
3. Let’s keep our relationship to ourselves for now. I don’t want any pastor or parents to know. Don’t even tell too many of your friends for now. I am a private person and I don’t like being discussed all over the place. Let it just be between the two of us. When the time comes to go public, I will let you know.
What he is really saying: I don’t want to go all the way with you. I don’t want any commitments; all I want is sex! Let’s make the casualty to be only you and not involve any authority figure that will tie me down.
The implication: He will not walk the aisle with you. He is not interested in marriage and there is no point wasting a few of your years with him. A good courtship is not supposed to operate as a secret cult!
4. I really love you and that is why you are number one out of all my girlfriends. You are the one I want to get married to.
What he is really saying: I have other girlfriends that I sleep around with. Be careful so I won’t change my mind about you because I have so many of them in my hands.
The implication: He is manipulating you with that statement and he may not get married to you eventually. Even if he does, there would not be an automatic disconnection with his girlfriends especially if they are sexually involved. You will have to contend with that after marriage and practically fight battles that could have been avoided. As a child of God, you are to be loved and adored by your husband. The moment you are being threatened this way, something is not quite right. Don’t stay under a manipulative man; that is not God’s plan for you.
5. Even though, I am married, I don’t love my wife. I don’t know why I have not met you before I got married. You are my true wife. I will find a way to leave that woman and marry you. You are so caring, loving and I can do anything for you. Just stay with me, I will give you anything you want and I will marry you eventually.
What he is really saying: You think it is so easy to leave the mother of my children? You are just a baby, and I will keep on giving you paltry sums of money to get what I want. I will rent a house for you and buy you a car and I will visit you there for sex. The day you say you are no longer interested, I will collect my car and my house.
The implication:Adultery is not worth it. You will simply waste your youth and practically stop your life. It will look sweet initially but soon turns into gravel in your mouth. Disconnect from such relationships because God doesn’t want you there.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise. I have a better understanding of my lover. I know what my lover is saying and not saying.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray that God will show you what your lover is not saying.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY It is the Spirit who gives life; the flesh is no help at all. The words that I have spoken to you are spirit and life. (John 6:63 ESV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Review all your relationships and follow God’s instructions to find out what your lover is not saying.
The issue above is one of the commonest statements of regret from several people that I counsel every other month. Avoiding in marriage a lover on fire today but cold later is possible.
“Pastor, he has changed…”
“Pastor, I never knew he was like this…”
“Pastor, before we got married, he was a leader in the fellowship, but now, he doesn’t go to church…”
“Pastor, during our courtship, he was so sweet, but now, he beats me up!
“Pastor, I never knew him because our courtship was a distant one…”
…And so on and so forth…
Well, what went wrong along the way?
2Pe 2:20-22 (MSG) If they’ve escaped from the slum of sin by experiencing our Master and Savior, Jesus Christ, and then slid back into that same old life again, they’re worse than if they had never left. [21] Better not to have started out on the straight road to God than to start out and then turn back, repudiating the experience and the holy command. [22] They prove the point of the proverbs, “A dog goes back to its own vomit,” and, “A scrubbed-up pig heads for the mud.”
Here are a few things to note.
There are pretenders out there. There are people who will feign being in the faith just to get a ‘good’ girl that will not give them ‘problems’ in marriage. This is where Christian pre-marriage counseling comes in.
2. That you met somebody in church does not guarantee that he or she is a true child of God or that you are avoiding in marriage all troubles. Anybody and everybody can attend church services for different purposes. Always seek counsel before you get involved with anybody.
3. Not everybody in the church setting is looking for God. That is why phones and personal effects get missing in church. An angel didn’t steal them. They were stolen by people with whom you worship but with ulterior motives.
4. Let the leadership of the church be involved in your relationship and marriage. There are some churches that have marriage guidance councils, these are not instituted to control you or spy into your private life but to guide you appropriately. Let your pastor be in the know. This is important because the pastor usually knows the committed ones and those who are insincere to an extent.
5. Learn all you can learn. Get marriage tips and free Christian advice online for avoiding chaos in marriage. On Kisses and Huggs Club, for example, we offer free Christian advice for singles and married couples and you can get advice on marriage issues on our daily devotionals, daily discussions and several other materials online. Don’t walk into a marriage ignorantly and so naïve that you fall for anything.
6. As a marriage counselor for some years, I can rightly say that it is true some people really love the Lord, but along the way, there is a turn around. Avoiding in marriage such people is what this post is about. This can be due to negative influence, change of environment, pressure that comes with marriage, choice of career and so on. Whatever it is, when you find yourself in this kind of scenario, you need to quickly find a marriage counselor to talk to.
I will stop here today and conclude on this topic tomorrow.
Be blessed.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have divine wisdom from God to make decisions.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Pray and ask God to show you what you don’t know about your life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Call unto me, and I will answer thee, and shew thee great and mighty things, which thou knowest not. (Jeremiah 33:3 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Take an inventory of all the relationships in your life
There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother.There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness.There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! and their eyelids are lifted up.There is a generation, whose teeth are as swords, and their jaw teeth as knives, to devour the poor from off the earth, and the needy from among men (Proverbs 30:11-14 KJV)
I am still a small boy. I will be forty-nine in October. I have several older friends, some in their fifties and some in their sixties, so you agree with me that I am still a very young man, plus I really look young.
As a pastor for some time, there are things I have heard that made my ears tingle. There are experiences people have gone through that seemed unbelievable. Some of them came through it and lived to tell the story. Some were not so strong enough; they were swept off their feet.
I will like to reminiscence and bring you some of those scenarios. The intent is not to mock, but to teach and for you to be cautioned. The devil has no new strategies; it is the same old, dump traps that he sets. Here we go. Names are fictional.
Case 1
Sandy was being asked out by George. She refused. Sandy was a church girl; George was a street guy. She just wanted friendship. She visited him one day so that he wouldn’t feel bad again because he was refused, because George kept acting up. Sandy was served Juice.
She suspected, and then she thought, ‘he couldn’t have poisoned her drink. She took the drink since it was freshly opened, but what she didn’t know was that you don’t need to open a juice before you add some drugs. A syringe and needle were used. After taking the drink, she wanted to leave, but she was delayed. That was the last she knew.
Fast forward to seven hours later. She woke up drowsily. The room smelt of Indian hemp and alcohol. She saw George and three other guys, eyes red and faces changed. She knew she was in trouble. They were going to rape her. The music blared out loud from the deck. Shouting was useless.
Her mistakes
1. She visited them in their territory. That was calling for trouble.
2. She trusted them. That was a great mistake.
3. She made friends with wrong set of people
Lessons
1. You don’t trust an unbeliever. Even a young believer whose mind is not renewed yet is capable of doing anything.
2. People can be sweet-talking and yet have bile within. Be alert, being naïve can be tragic.
Case 2
She just got admission into the university in her teenage years. She was from a Christian home. Her parents were deacons. She had friends who were not Christians. She had a self-esteem issue. She believed her breasts were too small, and that was why she was not beautiful. Her friends said it was because he had no boyfriends to help press them.
They promised to get her a boyfriend. They did. She started sleeping around.
Fast forward, three months. She was a pregnant eighteen-year-old. Her friends said she was stupid, what happened to all the pills? She said she could not murder a soul.
They laughed at her. Her parents were devastated. They said they could not abort for her as well. Back in school, her tummy was protruding. She could not live with the shame. Her friends eventually persuaded her that it was not too late to abort.
She obliged, damning the consequences. It was removed by a person who said he was a doctor. It was a twin pregnancy. One was removed; the other was left there. Complications arose. A few days later, she died!
Her mistakes
1. Wrong set of friends. You don’t surround yourself with enemies.
2. She drew strength for her esteem from a wrong source.
Lessons
1. Jeru trip whether it leads to pregnancy or not, is not the way to go.
2. You don’t take mentoring lessons from friends, they don’t know more than you do.
Case 3
Two friends driving on the road hit an old man’s car. The old man was furious, came down, because these two guys were in a brand new car. These guys came out of their car arrogantly with no apology.
They asked the man how much his car was worth. These further infuriated the man, who said he was not interested in their money but they should fix his car. One of the guys went into his boot and brought out a big bag full of money! The little crowd around was shocked.
Unknown to them, nemesis was going to catch up on them. They soon attracted more crowd of people because the man refused to take the money and kept asking them where they got so much money from.
Policemen were soon attracted; they simply arrested them and went to their house for a search. Right there where they lived were two girls on their knees with stuff on their heads…it was a ritual case! The girls have been turned into money-spinning demonic zombies, their lives snuffed out!
Lessons
1. Not everybody that wants to sleep with you and offer you money; really loves you. Some just want to ‘use’ you!
2. Don’t follow strangers home and don’t take strangers into your house because of some quick money.
3. Learn how to live by faith and trust God for your provision rather than live by deception and a life of iniquity. The consequences are right there.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY The Holy Spirit will guide me into all truth.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, open my eyes of understanding.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Do not be deceived: “Evil company corrupts good habits. (1 Cor 15:33 NKJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Carefully pick your friends with open eyes.
