One of the foundational ingredients of a successful marriage is being under authority. By authority, I mean good authority because it is possible for someone to be under a negative authority.
It is good when your spouse has someone or people (not too many) that he/she listens to. The importance of this cannot be overemphasized. You should at least have a spiritual authority figure that can speak into your lives as a couple.
When you have questions or you have hot arguments, there must be someone you can run to, someone who loves you enough to correct your wrong and give you the right direction.
This has been the undoing of so many marriages. They have decided to live like an island. There are no custom-made issues in marriage. The problems in marriage are common to all marriages. They may come in a different flavor but basically, they are the same things.
You take the pressure off your marriage when you have someone you can talk to and most importantly, LISTEN to.
The person has to be considered a mentor because he/ she is considered older, more experienced, and more spiritual.
Your mentors may not be your parents because it has been discovered that parents could be sentimental in their judgments.
You don’t have to learn from experience. Learn by the wisdom of your mentors. There are a lot of things we assume we know, but we do not know as we ought to know.
So many marriages are achieving below their marital potential. They have denied themselves their great destiny potential because they feel they can handle stuff by themselves.
Even Jesus had to grow, had to be subject to his parents, had to be taught, and had teachers.
I remember an issue we had a while ago. It was so knotty, it was as if the devil was ready to throw in confusion and disagreement into our home. Thank God for our mentors, it was not so much of what was said, it was their intercession for us that solved the issue.
So don’t be afraid of sharing your problems. Some think they have not solved their own problems before they are solving other people’s problems. That’s being childish. Is like saying a doctor is not qualified to help the sick because he has malaria himself.
A doctor is graced and anointed with the wisdom and knowledge to help the sick. Of course, if he doesn’t apply the same principles he is giving to the sick to himself, he will be sick and have to use the same medicine he is prescribing to his patient.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am humbled to listen to the counsel of my mentors.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY God give a listening ear and a receiving heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 24:6 For by wise counsel thou shalt make thy war: and in multitude of counsellors there is safety.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Register for KHC Camp meeting
Over the years, from counseling experiences, and even from the scriptures, one guaranteed reason a relationship or marriage will crash is when there is no form of mentoring or tutelage, or better put, when there is no accountability!
The kingdom of God is so orchestrated in such a way that you are not supposed to stay in isolation. Isolation will usually dovetail to desolation.
Here is God’s word:
God setteth the solitary in families: he bringeth out those which are bound with chains: but the rebellious dwell in a dry land. (Psalms 68:6 KJV)
God in His wisdom has surrounded us with not only physical families but also spiritual families. You have to be able to identify your spiritual family and stay there. There is a man or woman that God has placed over you from whom you can access wisdom and who will be able to speak into your life in the times of storms.
There are times that you face some issues, and yet the solution to that storm is just a sentence or two away in the mouth of an anointed servant of God.
This is why I am often scared of couples that have nobody they are accountable to. I am often scared of couples that have no mentors over them. Somebody has rightly said that you need mentors to avoid tormentors of life!
Singles, beware of getting into a relationship with a person who is accountable to no one! The moment he or she begins to tell you that God is his mentor, something is wrong somewhere.
Now, I will tell you why it is so important that you get married to somebody who is accountable.
There are some times that couples call in for counseling and upon listening to them, there would only be one way to move forward.
So, I would ask the question,
“Who is your husband’s mentor?”
It is always sad when the answer is “Nobody sir!”
So, I would usually reframe the question, “Who does your husband respect? Who can talk to him?”
And then, a sadder answer comes “Nobody sir!”
Then I would make one more attempt, “What about his parents?”
“He does not listen to his parents! Nobody can talk to him!”
At this point, the situation actually looks bleak… because you can hardly help an isolated and disenfranchised person!
One of the pertinent things to be sure of in considering marriage is the issue of accountability!
Don’t get involved with someone who says you don’t need a mentor. That would be risky!
Let me conclude with this scripture:
Without counsel purposes are disappointed: but in the multitude of counsellors they are established. (Proverbs 15:22 KJV)
Purposes can be genuine, but when they are without counsel, they can be frustrated and disappointed.
See it in Message translation:
Refuse good advice and watch your plans fail; take good counsel and watch them succeed. (Proverbs 15:22 Message)
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I have the wisdom of God. I am not isolated. My relationship will not crash.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, show me who you have appointed to speak into my life so that my relationship will not crash.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY The empty–headed treat life as a plaything; the perceptive grasp its meaning and make a go of it. (Proverbs 15:21 Message)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Discuss and decide on who will be your mentor