Dealing With In-Laws In Marriage. Our parents and the parents of our spouse are very much part of our family. In fact, we should be grateful to them for bringing up our spouse.
No doubt, their sacrifices have contributed to making our spouses who they are. Whether they brought them up well or not is another thing, that God used them to preserve the life of your spouse is enough to be grateful for.
Most times, our parents and in-laws are a blessing. They give advice and help us with babysitting. The question then is how do we deal with their excesses? Grandparents and Grand In-laws are usually less busy with work, so they tend to be busybodies.
When they become a pain in the neck, how do we handle things? When they seem to go out of their boundaries, what do we do? When they become a distraction to us and our marriage, how do we handle them, without hurting them?
When their demands are affecting our finances, what do we do? When our religious beliefs are different and at loggerheads, what do we do? When because they are humans, they tend to come between us and our wife or husband, what do we do? When they want us to do things opposing our conscience, what do we do?
When we have a sick parent-in-law or parent, should we reject and abandon them? When we face pressures from in-laws about responsibilities they put upon our shoulders, what do we do?
All these questions and many others are what we face daily and these affect our marriages in no small way. They affect our relationship with our spouse.
Basically, no two situations are exactly the same. We need wisdom from God to handle these issues. Prayer is very important and relationship with the Holy Spirit. It is the Holy Spirit that will show us the true picture and give us the solutions we need.
He will tell us the right words at the right time to speak to them. The Holy Spirit will even tell us the right gifts to get.
Here are some wise tips to help you handle in-law issues
1. Know God’s order; it’s your spouse first before the family 2. Don’t hurt the feelings of your spouse because of some in-law 3. Live within your means and budget 4. Have an account for emergencies from which you take care of such needs. 5. Let parents and in-law know that you and your spouse are inseparable and nothing can separate you. 6. Protect and defend yourselves before your in-laws. 7. Love your parents and in-laws but let them know that you have a responsibility to your own family first.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I live considerably with my in-laws
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom to handle my in-laws
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Corinthians 13:4 Charity suffereth long, and is kind; charity envieth not; charity vaunteth not itself, is not puffed up,
Stress can simply be defined as a state of mental or emotional strain or tension resulting from adverse or demanding circumstances.
This definition helps us to understand that stress is a tension or strain and it could be mental or emotional. It could also be physical or spiritual.
Jesus talked about those who are weary and heavy laden
Then Jesus said, “Come to me, all of you who are weary and carry heavy burdens, and I will give you rest. Matthew 11:28 NLT
Usually, since we are spirit beings, any strain on our spiritual life will have a way of impacting our whole being. Whatever affects our relationship with God affect the whole of our being.
Chief among the things that causes stress or strain on our relationship with God is sin.
So it’s possible, to have an unconfessed sin in your life and be doing through stress as a result.
Or maybe we fail to put our trust in God, or maybe we are walking in the flesh or not following the leading or guidance of the Holy spirit. All this causes us stress which will eventually cause a strain in our marriage.
A good example of this is when Abram and Sarah decided to get pregnant by Hagar and gave birth to Ishamel. There was so much strain and tension in the marriage.
Anger, strife, malice, not walking in love and all other works of the flesh also causes stress in marriage
There are some other stressors in marriage that are not as a result of sin but are the once we put on ourselves.
I will mention a few of them.
1. Financial pressure 2. Dealing with in-laws 3. Comparison 4. Doing beyond ourselves 5. Not minding our business 6. Not being able to say No 7. Being Unforgiving to our spouse 8. Not being open and transparent. 9. Unrealistic expectations 10. Ungratefulness
Now let’s handle these stressors one by name. To open our eyes to how these simple issues can bring about and cause a lot of stress to our marriage thereby causing a strain in our relationship with our loved one.
1. Financial pressures and not being able to manage our finances.
We know that money answereth all things
A feast is made for laughter, and wine maketh merry: but money answereth all things. Ecclesiastes 10:19 KJV.
Our ability to cut our coat according to our cloth will go a long way to determine whether we will be putting a lot of stress on our marriage or not.
Delaying gratification, being able to save a little portion for the rainy day no matter his small, being prudent, living on a budget and not being sentimental are all very good virtues.
2. Dealing with in-laws.
This requires a lot of wisdom, tact, patience and working together with your spouse to make sure you are always together on the same page. The most important person in this equation is your spouse. The covenant of marriage places your spouse above your parents.
You honor your parents, bible is very clear about that but you also don’t dishonor your spouse for the sake of your parents or in-laws. There is no one answer fits all but whichever way, follow the bible and follow the Holy spirit guidelines.
There may be times you have to sacrifice beyond what you normally would have, if you are sure God is leading you, obey. God usually rewards such acts tremendously.
Let me stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God grace.
May God grant us more understanding beyond this teaching.
God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am a wise spouse. I know how to relate with people.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, give me wisdom
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1 Peter 3:7 Likewise, ye husbands, dwell with them according to knowledge, giving honour unto the wife, as unto the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life; that your prayers be not hindered.