Continued from yesterday. You can read part 1 HERE
Some ladies fall in love before trying to find out about his character and flaws. So many young ladies with great destinies have jeopardized their future by getting involved with the wrong person.
Stop falling in love with a stranger on Facebook! It is not ideal. There are so many marital casualties today as a result of unguarded and careless relationships. Profiles, timelines, and Twitter pages cannot be used as a conclusive decision on marriage!
Ladies, don’t wait till you are head over heels in love, with flying butterflies in your tummy before probing who he is. You should find out a lot when you are first of all friends before becoming lovers. That is why friendship is very important. You would have seen enough traits that will help you make up your mind about who you want.
Sisters, have friends. That is where relationship will develop from. If you don’t have platonic friends, then you are left with strangers to approach you, and most of the time when strangers come, they are looking for sex.
That is why most sisters would say things like “it is always unserious people that approach me.” The question is do you have friends?
For guys, become friends first before you make your intention known. Do you know there would not be issues of ‘nails’ or rejection because you are already friends? She would simply tell you ‘No’ politely because she would not want to offend her friend!
When you are already in love without friendship, the likelihood is that your feelings for him will block every form of reasoning and sense of judgment.
You know he drinks, but you don’t care. You know she smokes, but you close your eyes. There are some character traits you can watch out for while just friends.
It is a simple principle of “make the tree good and the fruits will be good.” A guy can’t make a good husband if he doesn’t have a good character.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
As sister Sube walked down the road, her mind was stormy and depressed. This is in contrast with the calm and unusual tranquil weather. Without was so peaceful, but within were rumblings of the murky waters of despondency!
Every step she took down the road was punctuated with deep-seated sighs. What is her problem? She feels something is wrong with her because nobody is proposing to her and age is no longer on her side!
On the other hand, Brother Zerubabbel too is so worried that he is almost bending over. What is his problem? Brother Zeru is angry with all the so-called sisters because he has proposed to thirteen sisters in the same church and each of them gave him a nail.
The nails, sorry, the spikes were so painful. It was as if the sisters all had a meeting on him, actually, they did.
The above scenarios are issues that bother on cultivating friendship the right and healthy way.
Never forget that how to get a friend is more important than how to get a lover. Lovers don’t drop from the sky; they are made from friendship as the foundation.
Loving is a process that should start with friendship. Don’t fall in love with someone who is not your friend. It is not advisable to toe the line of ‘love at first sight.’ Why? You can only love who you know! You might have some body chemistry at first sight, but certainly, it is not falling in love like we normally allude.
Love is a spiritual entity that happens not just in the intellectual realm but in the emotional and spiritual realms as well. When you have a one–night stand with a stranger, it is nothing but lust and lack of discipline. You don’t even know the person and yet the moment you are sexually involved, your histories become intertwined, afflictions and demonic influences are exchanged and dangerous habits creep into your life after such reckless sexual encounters.
To be continued…
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I declare that my steps and relationships are ordered.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help to get the right friends in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Job 19:19 KJV All my inward friends abhorred me: and they whom I loved are turned against me.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY List the names of your friends.
This is the concluding part of the series. Let’s go further as we unravel the mystery behind having a model marriage.
3. Be submissive
Hmmm ….here we go again. Must we always be submissive and must we always talk about this?
Yes o, my dear sister. We got to emphasize it because that is the way things in the marriage will work. That’s how God ordained it and it cannot be reversed. So darling, just align yourself to it.
Anything that has two heads is a monster. So someone has to be the head and that is your husband. Allow him to be the head. Relinquish the right to lead you to him. Let him have the baton. That’s how you have a model marriage
You too have ideas, your ideas can only work when you put them under his leadership. Submission is ‘mission under’, put your own mission under his.
Don’t give your head a headache or migraine. If he has a headache, he won’t be able to do what he should do. If the head is good, the body enjoys it.
4. Be his friend
I know it may be a little difficult. For some ladies that were not really friends in courtship or were friends but life happens and it seems the friendship is going down the drain.
Listen, you can develop friendship again. You are in a life-long relationship and you don’t want to spend it with an unfamiliar person. You don’t want to spend the rest of your life being stuck with someone not your friend. Your journey together is much easier and more fun if it is spent with a friend.
5. Be a helper of his destiny
What is his destiny and purpose? Where is he going? To be his helper of destiny, you have to understand his destiny and how to come in at every different season of his life to help him. He will go far with your help.
There is no king without a kingdom. A king cannot do everything by himself. By his position, a king must be helped for the throne to be established. The more subjects the king has, the more his kingdom is established.
What makes a king different from another? They all occupy thrones, but the more those who are helping him, the greater. And his wife should be the number one helper.
We are the queens. Have you seen a king without a queen? He is just not complete. Be that queen you were created to be and the Lord will help us to have a model marriage.
God bless our marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am supportive of my husband in all areas.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY 1Ti 2:1 I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men;
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.
Here is a true story. A woman was having tremendous challenge in her matrimonial home. She had this friend she would always discuss with. The friend told her she is being stupid and that she needed to teach her husband a lesson by packing out. She did.
She packed out and later informed her Pastor what she has done. Her pastor told her to go back to her house before he would say anything. This is after a few days.
Out of respect for her Pastor, she obliged. She got back home with her loads and knocked. When the door was opened, lo and behold, the person she saw was her friend in a towel.
Life is about association. Your level of productivity is often determined by the people you associate with. The same way, your failure is sealed when you walk with foolish people who have no regard for God.
Your relationship decisions are influenced by the choice of your friends. The people you know and you have access to in the days of challenges will determine whether that challenge will crush you or will be crushed.
The relationship and marriage mentors you have will often be the thin line between divorce and victory in marriage.
Most often than not, your relationship or courtship will survive not based on your wisdom alone but on the wisdom you are able to garner from those that have done what you are trying to do. Do you have one?
If you associate for long with a monkey, you will learn how to jump on trees. If you lie down with a dog, you will rise up with fleas. It is all about laws of connections and relationships.
That boyfriend that is always paying for abortion as a result of jeru trip is really an enemy.
That friend that introduced you to that underground jeru trip chain so you can earn dollars is an enemy. You see, your destiny is in contention.
Who is your friend? Your friend is the definition and description of your life. The future of your friend is the picture of your future. Watch the friends you have. Friendship is by choice and not by force.
Can you confidently introduce your friends to your pastor or parents?
Most young people who suddenly find themselves in prostitution were not really decided on doing that, they were introduced by friends.
If your friend is promiscuous, you will eventually become one. If your friend is a goal getter, you will eventually become one. The same way, if your friend is a gold digger, you will eventually become one.
He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed.
Pro 13:20 KJV
Message translation
Become wise by walking with the wise; hang out with fools and watch your life fall to pieces.
Pro 13:20 MSG
You must review your friends from time to time. Any friend that is not adding value to you should be disconnected from.
Friendship is an issue of life and so friendship decisions must not be subjected to sentiments. A friend that is always looking out for ‘jists’ on the next bad thing is an enemy in disguise.
Someone once said that your wisdom level is the level of wisdom your circle of friends have. Someone else said that if you are the smartest among your friends, it is time to look for better friends because you are adding to them while you are gaining nothing.
May God grant us more understanding.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not associate with the wrong person.
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to disconnect from those who are not adding to me in any way.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY He that walketh with wise men shall be wise: but a companion of fools shall be destroyed. (Proverbs 13:20 KJV)
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Disconnect from all wrong associations.
Sense is described by Word Web dictionary as “The faculty through which the external world is apprehended”
As Buddy entered his friend’s house, you could tell he was excited. He was grinning from ear to ear he could almost eat Banana from the side of his mouth.
Woah! I have finally found my wife. I am so much in love with her. I asked her out and she said Yes.’
Daniel was happy for him.
‘When did you meet her?’ ‘Two hours ago.’
‘What is her name?’ ‘Lovett, I don’t know her surname.’
‘And you already asked her out?’ ‘Yes.’
‘And she said yes?’ ‘Of course now, what is the meaning of all these questions?’
‘Where is she from?’ ‘I don’t know. She must be from heaven.’
‘What does she do?’ ‘I don’t know, but she has hot legs!’
One other question that every single will be confronted with is the question of common sense.
You see, you are not supposed to fall in love with strangers. True love emanates from the knowledge of the characters involved. You hardly know somebody you just met some thirty minutes ago. True love should spring up from friendship.
God gave you a brain so that you will not disturb him on some issues that you can already find their answers in God’s Word.
‘I am so happy for you Comfort. Is he born again? ‘l don’t know but he goes to church.’
You don’t need somebody that you can’t even vouch for concerning Salvation. You need somebody that loves God!
‘He does not drink alcohol, he only takes Stout.’ ‘He does not do weed, just normal cigarettes. I will convert him after marriage.’
You see, you are not the Holy Spirit. Watch the person you fall in love with. Use your gumption. Spirituality does not mean stupidity or thoughtlessness. The scripture says that discretion will preserve you!
‘I have aborted for him three times, but I cannot leave him. I love him.’ But when he finally ruins your chances of giving birth, he will leave you! Wake up! The reason you cannot leave him or her is not because of love but because of low self-esteem and soul ties, wrong bonding that comes as a result of violating God’s principles as regards jeru trip.
‘I know I am number three on his list.’ So what are you still doing, playing a second fiddle, opening your legs to a man that you know can drop you anytime? You see, hear me, and quote me anywhere, you cannot use jeru trip to buy love. Jeru trip does not guarantee marriage. In fact, it reduces its chances.
Whoever told you that you are ugly? It is money you need! When God blesses you, you will know how beautiful you are! Guys never have problems with appearance, it is always ladies. Haven’t you seen guys with their legs like Hockey sticks, and yet wearing three-quarters short? They don’t care! And they will come and ask you out like that, and you are like, What?
You are not ugly! Beauty is in the beholder’s eyes. You are fearfully and wonderfully created, so says the scriptures. You will be wonderful to some people, and fearful to others, so never mind if someone calls you ‘ugly’ When you meet your spouse, you will be wonderful! So, believe in God and believe in yourself!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will apply discretion in every area of my relationship as God helps me
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, I ask that you give me wisdom and understanding in my relationship in Jesus name.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Proverbs 11:29 [MSG] Exploit or abuse your family, and end up with a fistful of air; common sense tells you it’s a stupid way to live.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Have a hearty discussion with your lover today