Marriage is for the broken. I mean those who have mortified their flesh. Does it then mean that anybody that has not attained this level cannot marry? Of course not. They can marry but making a success out of the marriage is impossible.
The devil understands this and he is okay with it. He is even happy with the idea of immature people getting married, so far as they don’t get to fulfill God’s mandate and agenda.
They could even spend millions of Naira on the wedding, with an elaborate and classic wedding. What matters most is how the marriage is going. How much does the husband love his wife as Christ loved the church? How much does the wife submit to her own husband?
God has given both the wife and the husband specific roles and functions in the marriage. This role is an individual mandate that is not dependent on what the other partner does or doesn’t do.
For if ye live after the flesh, ye shall die: but if ye through the Spirit do mortify the deeds of the body, ye shall live. – Rom 8:13
The flesh has deeds or works.
Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, Idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, Envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God. – Gal 5:19- 22
There is a kingdom of God to be inherited by us in our marriage but ‘Those who do entertain the works of the flesh cannot inherit the kingdom of God.
The mandate of marriage can only be carried out in the spirit. By those who have their flesh crucified and dead to sin.
And they that are Christ’s have crucified the flesh with the affections and lusts. – Gal 5:24
In our marriage, we must see to it that our flesh dies daily. Every wife should study what the Bible says about submission and every husband study what it means to love.
Our flesh must be broken to allow the spirit of God to manifest.
I once lived in pity-party and was very stubborn in my disposition to my husband. I was just so fleshly. I yielded to the flesh without constraints and I entertained and embrace every negative thought that came to my mind. I went to see my mentor because I had come to my wit’s end. She told me, ‘be broken, and listen to your husband’. Those words set me free because they were the truth.
Husbands, be broken and love your wife. Love her and be tender-hearted towards her.
Why get married if the reason for being married is not fulfilled? Don’t waste heavens mandate! Jesus said we should occupy till he comes. We must make up our minds that our marriage will fulfill destiny and purpose.
God bless your marriage
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I love my spouse wholeheartedly.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, make me a broken spouse.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Decide to be more committed in your marriage.
Today, I want to pray and bless you being the first day of the year!
I want to invoke the anchor scripture of this ministry over you and yours.
If you are a member of KHC, and particularly if you are a partner, it is simply your heritage to partake of the blessings of the mandate.
Fourteen years ago, KHC began with newsletters which were circulated all over Nigeria.
The scriptures God give us then is what I want to use to pray for you this morning.
The hand of the LORD was upon me, and carried me out in the spirit of the LORD, and set me down in the midst of the valley which was full of bones, – Eze 37:1 (KJV)
If the hand of the Lord is upon me, why would I be set in a valley of bones? I thought I would be taken to a mountain of meat and drinks!
Are you in a valley experience in your relationship or marriage where everything seems dry?
Listen to me, you are not going to die there!
And caused me to pass by them round about: and, behold, there were very many in the open valley; and, lo, they were very dry. – Eze 37:2 (KJV)
God wanted the prophet to see first of all that naturally speaking, the situation is beyond repair.
Lo, the bones were very dry! Everything looked awry. Finances is in a mess.
In relationship and marriage, it is a definition of abandonment and disappointment.
The bones are dry! But you know what? There is nothing in your life right now that God cannot fix!
Again he said unto me, Prophesy upon these bones, and say unto them, O ye dry bones, hear the word of the LORD. – Eze 37:4 (KJV)
So I prophesied as I was commanded: and as I prophesied, there was a noise, and behold a shaking, and the bones came together, bone to his bone. – Eze 37:7-10 (KJV)
The bones were not only dry, they were scattered.
Are you in a place like that? Nobody has asked you out in a while. Dry bones. Those that asked you out were unbelievers and irresponsible men. Dry bones.
Adam said bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh… but what we have here are only bones!
But as he prophesied, something began to happen. The bones that were dry suddenly received life. Bone that were scattered started looking for each other. Sinews came upon them. There arose a great army!
Whatever area of your life this morning that looks like dry bones, life is coming upon it in Jesus name!
This morning, I prophesy as I am commanded, let there be a noise and a shaking.
Let there be a shaking away of every shame and disgrace in your life in Jesus name!
Let there be a noise, a noise of joy coming from your home and your family in Jesus name!
A noise of rejoicing coming forth from your life in Jesus name.
I prophesy to the bones that are scattered, the spouse that seems scattered away, let there be a coming together now in Jesus name.
Yes, let there be a supernatural coming together in Jesus name!
I prophesy and release the breath of God, the power of the Holy Spirit on every area that is dry, receive life now in Jesus name!
A great army of finances is arising for you.
A great army of resources is arising for you in Jesus name.
In the very valley which have been dubbed a valley of dry bones, a great army arose!
In the very land where you have been afflicted and you have toiled, God will give you the victory and make you rejoice in Jesus name!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY My bone is locating me this year.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to locate the bone of my bone.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Ezekiel 37:10 So I prophesied as he commanded me, and the breath came into them, and they lived, and stood up upon their feet, an exceeding great army.
There are certain rules that govern the affairs of any successful marriage. These rules or laws can be applied by any person. That is why someone who is not a Christian can have a good marriage if she/he applies these rules. That is the secret of some of our old parents who despite all, kept their marriage.
Wisdom such as
* When angry don’t talk.
* Calm down and don’t overreact
* When one person is angry the other person should try and keep calm
* A soft response always saves the day.
* Good food is the way to a man’s heart
All these are natural wisdom but have their root in biblical truths.
Let’s check out two of these biblical facts and truth.
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh.
Gal 5:16 [KJV]
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
It is actually in the marriage that you can practice walking in the spirit the most. That’s why it is said that marriage is for the spiritual and the matured.
When we say you should be spiritual, it is for your good and for the good of your marriage.
Man has no original thoughts. Every thought is either from the devil or from God. When you are spiritually minded, you mind the things that pertain to God.
If you are carnally minded, you mind the things that pertain to the flesh. So you walk in the flesh when you give mind to the thoughts of the flesh.
For example, your flesh wants to curse, fume, and fight back when you are abused and pushed to the wall. Your flesh wants to fight to finish and have to last word.
Whereas, when you are spiritually minded and led by the spirit of God and yield to the dictates of the spirit, you want to do things that are contrary to what your flesh wants you to do.
It is actually wise to be controlled and allow yourself to be influenced by the Holy Spirit. When the Holy Spirit dictates to us how to live and we yield to Him, we experience peace and joy. He makes all things work together for our good.
When the Holy Spirit leads us to pray instead of talking back in anger, when he tells us to smile back at our spouses’ rude response, when we find the strength to labor out of love and not out of annoyance etc then God can work on our behalf to give us a miracle in our home and marriages
May God give us the strength to always yield and listen to the voice of the Holy Spirit in our marriages.
God bless our marriage!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I walk in the spirit and so I do not walk according to the dictates of my flesh
PRAYERS FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to continually follow after your voice in Jesus name
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Rom 8:1 There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit.
Walk in the spirit and you will not fulfill the lust of the flesh. It is in marriage that you can best apply this scripture. There will be many opportunities in marriage to fulfill the lust of the flesh. Our flesh wants to rise big time whenever our spouses do something that we consider unpleasant.
All works of the flesh as described in Galatians 5: 19-21 especially enmity, strife, jealousy, anger (ill temper), selfishness, divisions, envy can all be seen in marriages.
In marriage, we are tempted to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat and it is easier to go by the rule of a tooth for a tooth and an eye for an eye. In marriage, it is easy to enter into strife, to be angry at our spouse, and be bitter against them.
In my twenty-one-plus years of marriage, I have come to note that it is always easier to nip things in the bud before they get out of hand. It is always easier to apologize on time before things get out of hand. It is always easier to talk things over than to let them linger and become bigger.
Galatians 5:22 (Amp), ‘But the fruit of the Holy Spirit (the work which His presence within accomplishes) is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness, gentleness (meekness, humility), self- control (self restraint, continence)
When we allow the fruit of the Holy Spirit in our lives, the resultant effect will be a Spirit-controlled marriage. That is where the Lord wants us to get to. That no matter what happens or whoever it is that is at fault, we are Spirit-controlled. Our lives are controlled and influenced by the Holy Spirit.
This can only happen when we begin to acknowledge the Holy spirit’s presence in our lives individually. When we learn to put our bodies under and allow the Holy Spirit His rightful place.
May God bless our marriage.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am Spirit Controlled.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me acknowledge the Holy Spirit’s place in my life
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Gal 5:16 (MSG) My counsel is this: Live freely, animated and motivated by God’s Spirit. Then you won’t feed the compulsions of selfishness.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Begin today to acknowledge the person of the Holy Spirit.
We started on the topic of Handling affairs in marriage difficult. We started on this topic yesterday and I established the fact that it is a difficult situation to handle for the spouse.
It is better prevented than experienced.
Handling affairs in marriage is difficult. The pain and hurt of the betrayal of an affair is in different categories. There are more painful experiences than others.
Imagine the pain of someone having a full-blown sexual affair with your house help or having an affair with your sister or brother or with your best friend or even with someone who needed your help and offered to help.
The pain of being cheated and taken for a fool is best described as a dagger piercing ones soul.
That is why, the spouse of the erring spouse must allow the Lord heal his/her soul completely.
The first response is that of frustration and revenge.
It is to be noted that our response to handling this issue (i.e handling affairs in marriage) can never be in the flesh. If we must handle things well, we should never allow our flesh to gain ascendancy over our spirit.
There is therefore now no condemnation to them which are in Christ Jesus, who walk not after the flesh, but after the Spirit. Romans 8:1 KJV
The only way to avoid condemnation is to walk in the spirit.
The devil seeks to accuse us to God even in the midst of that very difficult situation. He wants to accuse us so that the unity and agreement needed as a couple to break the backbone of lust is broken.
When the spouse that is supposed to stand in the gap to the erring spouse is bitter and offended against the spouse that needs help, how will there be total victory and complete deliverance?
Hear me, I am not saying or pushing the responsibility to be free in the hands of the other spouse, I’m only saying it puts the enemy to shame faster.
Imagine if someone comes to accuse your son to you for stealing your money expecting you to flog him, it will be the son’s privilege and he will forever be grateful if you don’t join the outsider to condemn him but show him mercy.
For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you: Matthew 6:14 KJV
The outsider cannot do anything except the father agrees with the outsider to punish his son.
I am not undermining disciplining a child when wrong. It is just an analogy to tell us you don’t have to join the enemy in disciplining or correcting your son. You will punish your son but not in the presence of the outsider. It is a family issue and should be handled as such.
Likewise handle the erring spouse infidelity as such. Once again, this is done by being in the spirit.
Let’s continue on the issue of handling affairs in marriage
3. Walk in the spirit
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh. Galatians 5:16 KJV
If we live in the Spirit, let us also walk in the Spirit. Galatians 5:25 KJV
Our flesh is what seeks expression when we feel we have been violated. The flesh wants to respond in retaliation. The flesh wants to fight back but we must go by the way of the cross when it comes to the issue of handling affairs in marriage.
It takes unconditional love to forgive and keep forgiving even when the erring spouse is in the wrong.
Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven. Matthew 18:21 – 22 KJV
It takes a conscious walk in the spirit to do this. If it were not possible, Jesus would have not said it. But that he said it means it is possible.
Jesus will definitely give us grace. This Grace is available for us if we will embrace it. If we are willing and obedient, he will give us this grace to forgive.
But he giveth more grace. Wherefore he saith, God resisteth the proud, but giveth grace unto the humble. James 4:6 KJV
Let’s trust God to help us. No matter how far stretched we are, God still has more Grace to give to us.
I will stop here today and continue tomorrow on handling affairs in marriage
God bless our marriage and protect us from the powers of darkness.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will be faithful to my partner.
PRAYER FOR THE DAY My Father, help me to keep my marriage vows.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY James 4:7 (ESV): Submit yourselves therefore to God. Resist the devil, and he will flee from you.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Open up to your spouse, if there be any issues