How To Handle A Choleric Husband

How To Handle A Choleric Husband

Reading Time: 3 minutes

How To Handle A Choleric Husband

This is not an absolute and ‘one answer fits all’ situation approach. There is always an exception to the rule. That is why the best thing that can happen to any married couple is to be filled with the Holy Spirit, to be a child of God, and to walk with God and know His voice.

It is a privilege to have access to the wisdom of God and He can always tell you what to do in your own peculiar circumstances.

I have witnessed the Holy Spirit help me through certain difficult times in my marriage and I am so grateful for those times.

We are talking about husbands and I believe by God’s Grace, I will also write about the wives.

We have four basic temperaments and other temperament blends. We also have modifications of our temperaments based on different factors such as our background, the environment we were raised in, our parents, their beliefs, exposure, the schools we attended, our religious beliefs, circumstances surrounding our childhood, childhood experiences, etc.

Now, you have to understand who you have married. Without understanding, you cannot be an effective helpmeet, and then it’s impossible for you to submit.

These are some qualities of a choleric husband and how to live with him based on knowledge.

1. A choleric is goal-oriented

That means he lives for achievement. He must achieve something. It is not impossible he cancels luxury at home just to cater for his goals.

Join him in whatever he wants to achieve and support him all the way. Encourage him. Don’t fight him or his goals. A choleric fight to finish and makes it a goal to accomplish.

2. A choleric is an obstacle crusher

A choleric crushes whatever is on his way to achieving that goal. Join him don’t criticize him.

3. A choleric is sharped tongued

It is not impossible he is seen verbally abusing his wife and lashing at her. Gently correct him when the event has passed.

4. He is egocentric

Don’t touch the ego. Help massage it especially in the way you talk. Talk to him in a soft tone and he will listen.

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5. A choleric maybe inconsiderate and selfish or self-centered

Whenever he is like this, point his attention to what he is doing.

6. He may defer helping

He may not help out in his wife’s project if it is not his project

Make sure you are not offended. Stand your ground but please be open.

7.  A choleric husband makes coarse jokes or comments.

Guide against being offended. Be mature and don’t let his sarcasm get at you. Bear your mind out not in a fight but in honest conversation, maybe later, so that he won’t see you as contesting his ‘simple’ joke.

8. He wants to be in control and he is authoritative

See the good part of this. See it as being a strong leader and celebrate that he is being a man.

Don’t become a jelly under his authority. Enjoy him leading you. You don’t want to be in a position where the wife takes decisions.

There are more, but basically, you handle being married to a choleric husband not by being hurt, in strife, contention, or bitterness, you handle this by being honest and sincere with the way you feel.

God bless our marriages.

I am supportive of my husband in all areas.

Lord, teach me to be supportive of my husband in Jesus’ name.

I exhort therefore, that, first of all, supplications, prayers, intercessions, and giving of thanks, be made for all men; 1Ti 2:1

Begin to look at areas you can give your support and begin to give it.

1Tim 2


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Five Kinds Of Woman A Man May End Up With

Five Kinds Of Woman A Man May End Up With

Reading Time: 3 minutes

In today’s devotional, we’ll be looking at five kinds of women a man may end up with. Let’s delve into it right away

1. The Choleric wife

She is known to be energetic, sharp-mouthed, unemotional with words and actions, and can survive on her own.

She needs no external motivation or encouragement. She can be very independent and this can lead to friction between couples.

Usually, a choleric wife will have a husband of the opposite temperament. Hence, they should learn to maximize their strengths and minimize their weaknesses.

2. The Career wife

This is a woman at the top echelon of her career, so she can often become prideful if care is not taken.

The husband should be secure enough to let his wife go for the best and ultimate in her career.

There are husbands who can be so threatened with the progress of their wives. This is a wrong heart. Let her be, and let her go for the best. 

The keyword here is honor. As long as the wife does not get proud.

3. The stubborn wife

Some wives can be stubborn o! From counseling experiences, I have seen wives that would stand on their opinion even when you show them the scriptures. There are stubborn men as well o!

How do you know a stubborn wife?

Stubborn wives don’t talk much, they just won’t budge. They will just be looking at you like Lucozade, but what they will do is what they will do.

This is not good as well. It is not beneficial for the prayer life of the couple.

4. The manipulative wife

The manipulative wife has several weapons in her arsenal including crying, throwing tantrums, withdrawing, talking endlessly, refusing jeru trip, nagging, until she gets what she wants.

She always wants the man at her beck and call.

This may go on for a while especially if the husband is on the calm side, but one day, he would definitely react.

5. The insistent wife

The insistent wife is hard, difficult and doesn’t listen to anything apart from what she knows or wants.

Her major weapon is anger.

She always wants to be told what she wants to hear and she picks up a quarrel with anybody that dares go against what she feels.

Her husband lives in perpetual fear of what could happen next.

This is a wrong attitude that could be detrimental to the marriage.

The problem is that what she knows is limited and what she wants can often be a wrong desire.

We are all work in progress and nobody knows it all. Meekness or being teachable is a great virtue in marriage.

Husband and wife should strive to live considerably with one another.

Put yourselves in one another’s shoes.

This is where maturity is.

1Pe 3:1 (AMPC)
IN LIKE manner, you married women, be submissive to your own husbands [ subordinate yourselves as being secondary to and dependent on them, and adapt yourselves to them ], so that even if any do not obey the Word [ of God ], they may be won over not by discussion but by the [ godly ] lives of their wives,

1Pe 3:7 (AMPC)
In the same way you married men should live considerately with [ your wives ], with an intelligent recognition [ of the marriage relation ], honoring the woman as [ physically ] the weaker, but [ realizing that you ] are joint heirs of the grace (God’s unmerited favor) of life, in order that your prayers may not be hindered and cut off. [ Otherwise you cannot pray effectively. ]

May God bless your marriage.

I will be submissive

Lord, teach me to love my husband

1Pe 3:1 (MSG) The same goes for you wives: Be good wives to your husbands, responsive to their needs. There are husbands who, indifferent as they are to any words about God, will be captivated

Honour your husband

Prov 18