This is the concluding part of this series. I hope you have been following diligently. and you are taking note of what to do before love turns to shock.
So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? [2] I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there? – Romans 6:1-2 (MSG)
The grace of God is to deliver you from sin, not to keep you safe in your sin!
9. Character Defects
When you see obvious character defects, don’t close your eyes to them especially when he or she says he will change later.
Marriage changes nobody. Anybody that tells you he or she will change later is deceiving you. What do you do when you see character defects? Seek help! Don’t keep quiet.
10. Take a Pause
If during courtship or after marriage, you suddenly discover you never knew who you were in the same boat with, here is what to do.
In courtship, take a pause on everything until you find a solution. For example, if the issue has to do with physical violence or physical abuse, don’t just keep quiet thinking that marriage will soften him.
Don’t walk down the aisle into that kind of marriage, or you might need to soon run up the aisle and out! If you are getting slaps in courtship, guess what will happen in marriage? In marriage, divorce is not the first option. Look for a Christian marriage counselor or marriage therapist for help.
11. Long-Distance Relationships
If you are in a distant relationship or some online dating, you need to know that you will not have a distant marriage and you will not live online.
The reality must dawn on you never to make life-involving decisions without knowing the person very well. It is wrong for you to fall in love with a stranger.
Something is not quite right with falling in love with an online profile or some voice-over-the-phone! Marriage is not a game! It is a covenant!
12. We are Projects
Finally, we are all projects in the making in the hands of God.
Nobody is perfect, but there are things that are unbecoming for a child of God. When you see some of these things, it is time to seek help, or if intense, run for your life!
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I will not be in shock!
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, help me to trust you.
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Romans 6:1-2 (MSG) So what do we do? Keep on sinning so God can keep on forgiving? [2] I should hope not! If we’ve left the country where sin is sovereign, how can we still live in our old house there?
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Pray for insight, to prevent any kind of shock.
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY John 3
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Yesterday, we learnt one way to study the bible. Let’s see yet another way this morning. Another way to approach the Bible is by doing a male character study.
The Bible is rich with stories of both men and women. Even children (little Samuel, Joseph).
They were people who like you faced certain challenges you could be facing right now.
People who had flesh and blood like you, walked the earth, ate food, drank water, much like you do today.
There’s no difference between you and them. The difference is only in how they related to God back then and how you are relating to Him today.
Do a male character study. Study the many male characters in the bible, look at what they did, how they did it and the outcomes of what they did.
Look at how God spoke to them, showed Himself to them, what He promised them and more.
As you study may God bless you with revelation. Amen
Prayer: Lord, help me in my study of Your word. Amen.
Action point: How about picking some names to start studying? Do a male character study
Declaration: I am a student if the word. I will study the Bible for profiting.
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While studying the Bible, you can decide to study female Bible characters. The Bible records stories of them. There were the good and bad ones.
Apart from giving birth to children and keeping the home, they also played key roles in many important situations.
Read up on them. What did they do? How did they behave back then?
You could study the story of Deborah, a prophetess in the bible. There’s Esther, a Queen that saved her people from genocide. Women also supported the apostles in spreading God’s word.
Check what God says about women, how he spoke to them, what He did to them.
This is a great way to discover God’s purpose for women.
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As a single, your greatest asset is not your hips, tips, boobs, complexion, baritone voice, your looks, skills, degrees, background, wealth, sonorous voice, beauty, or any other physical attribute.
It is your character.
Your character is the real you. Not who you profess to be or what people say you are. You can never run away from your character.
A Yoruba adage says, your character is like smoke, you can never hide it for too long. It will always surface.
Young ladies, don’t focus on that which is ephemeral. It is not a big deal to make yourself beautiful.
All you need is some good, quality make-up. A dark-skinned lady can become fair by virtue of the different toning creams available.
A guy can look polished, well packaged with all the six-packs, but really who is he?
A guy may look very responsible and mature, but may not be in actual fact. Remember looks can be deceptive.
The good news is that you can develop your character. You can develop a positive character that will add value to you and not make you a liability in marriage.
Nobody is left out of this quest to develop proper winning character. So don’t ever think you are alone or get overwhelmed with developing your character.
As singles, your priority is to put your strength to improve your character.
Some people will adamantly stick to the character flaws and excuse them away. Some will even pretend and push their negative characters deep down so people will not easily notice.
Whatever negative tendencies you have are to be confronted, dealt with, and replaced with positive ones.
There are a thousand and one character flaws. Some are very glaring, while others are very subtle and hidden.
Whichever way, every negative character will be brought to full view in marriage no matter how long it takes.
God and His word, with our cooperation can help us to develop positive character.
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Our present character is formed basically by our thoughts. Our thoughts become our words. Our words become our actions, our actions become our habits and our habits form our character.
We developed our present character through a process and it will also take a process to unlearn the negative character and develop new ones.
Roms 12:2 tells us to be transformed by the renewing of our minds.
And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.
Rom 12:2 (KJV)
In other words, we allow God’s word and His Holy Spirit to change our thoughts, which will change our words, which will change our actions, change our habits and then ultimately change our character.
No matter what your character is today, you can change it for good. The earlier you take up this task the better for you.
The character flaws you don’t deal with now as a single will roar at you in marriage.
Whatever bad tendencies you have now can be replaced with goodly and godly character.
As a single, you have no business chasing only funfair while your major course is left unattended. It’s a gross mistake, don’t fall for it.
May God open our eyes more to see these truths.
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Today I will share with you some helpful hints. A broken heart for a moment is better than a broken heart for life. You may want to carefully and prayerfully weigh your options and make your decision. Remember we make decisions and the decisions eventually make us.
1. Consider your future and destiny It is very important in falling in love to consider the future. Can you see him/her in the picture of your future? Is there destiny alignment? Are there things in destiny to accomplish together?
2. Consider your genotype For example, AS and AS is a no-go area. Don’t fall in love before finding out your genotype. A few days of pain and a broken heart is far better than a lifetime of pain and regret.
3. If he/she is an unrepentant sinner If he/she is an unbeliever or a believer who still enjoys habitual sin and is unrepentant. The things of God are taken with levity and he/she is making no efforts to draw closer to God. He or she does not go to church. A breakup may save you from a regretful future.
4. If there are a lot ofcharacter flaws Nobody is perfect but there are some character flaws that cannot be overlooked. If he or she drinks, smokes, womanizes, is a fraudster or engages in any form of violence, a break may be a better option.
5. If love is not genuine If the love is lopsided and he or she only loves you for what he can get from you a breakup is a better option. There is no genuine basis for the relationship.
6. If there is a major parental and family disapproval If prayers, efforts, and all possible options have been explored and yet there is strong parental disapproval despite prayers, you may want to consider a breakup. It may happen to be direction in the long run.
Remember that as a child of God, He wants the best for us and our future.
God bless you.
CONFESSION FOR THE DAY I am wise in my decisions
PRAYER FOR THE DAY Lord, give me a wise and understanding heart
THOUGHT FOR THE DAY Pro 16:9 (KJV) A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the LORD directeth his steps.
ACTION PLAN FOR THE DAY Consider these points and see if need be to break up
BIBLE READING FOR THE DAY Matthew 27; Mark 15
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