Everywhere was dark. The eerie blackness of the darkness was so real you could almost cut it with a knife. As Betty navigated her way back to the house, the scary moments of horror stories she had read growing up gnawed at her face.
The zombies in the movies crawled behind her. She could hear their footsteps, or so she thought! Fear and trepidation wrapped their fearful arms around her, and she began to shake and fidget as she walked. She stumbled and nearly fell because she could not see anything.
She prayed that the light would be restored. The streetlight had been faulty for over two weeks.
As she strolled on in fear, the light came on! She was elated! Her joy knew no bounds. Immediately, she looked back and saw there was nothing following her! She was happy! The restored light made a lot of difference.
As she strolled on, she remembered the scripture that best explained the moment.
Psa 18:28 (KJV) For thou wilt light my candle: the LORD my God will enlighten my darkness.
Wow! What darkness is around your relationship or marriage right now? Are you navigating through the complexities of modern Christian dating, seeking divine guidance in your courtship? God will light your candle!
That scripture uses the phrase “my darkness!” Has there been so much darkness in your relationship that it has become a personal struggle? Perhaps you’re facing challenges in communication, trust, or maintaining spiritual intimacy in your marriage.
Well, I have good news for you. God will enlighten your darkness. “Your darkness” will become “your light!” God will show you ways to reignite the spark in your Christian marriage and show you faith-based advice on balancing love and commitment!
I love the Message Translation.
Psa 18:28 (MSG) Suddenly, GOD, you floodlight my life; I’m blazing with glory, God’s glory!
Your life will be floodlighted! You will blaze with God’s glory! Whatever is hidden and shrouded in darkness, there is light in the name of Jesus!
Receive light in your relationship! God will show you the secrets to a happy, godly marriage and the keys to overcoming common relationship issues with biblical wisdom.
Receive light in your finances! God will open your eyes to biblical principles of financial stewardship that will transform your marriage and family life.
Darkness flees away from your life in Jesus’ name! Light becomes your lot in Jesus’ name! It is a promise from God’s word, and that promise will become your reality!
Good morning dear one! So, you’re still flying solo, and it’s awesome. But ever wondered what all those people in married life are experiencing and learning? Well, here is a little insight into what marriage teaches you that might just leave you amazed.
1. Love Isn’t Just a Feeling. It’s an Action Movie
Yes, you must have heard about love. And you probably think you know pretty much about the subject… But in marriage, it’s like the action edition packed.
You don’t just say, “I love you” when everything is cool. You show it when things are going real and getting hot!
Ephesians 5:25 talks of loving as Christ loved the Church. That is hard-core, love in action, not when it feels right, but especially when it is painful and you don’t feel like it!
2. Forgiveness: A Compulsory Course You Can’t Carry Over!
Harboring grudges? That is not part of a good habit! Married people learn super quick that forgiveness isn’t just being nice; it’s pretty much a must. Marriage is a union of two forgivers! As it says in Colossians 3:13, forgive as the Lord forgave you. It’s about dropping that baggage and moving forward, together. It’s relieving yourself from emotional prison.
3. Two Heads Are Better Than One
I am not talking about a two-headed monster. Have you ever tried to solve a problem with a friend rather than by yourself? It’s usually quite easier, right? That’s the deal with marriage: you’ve got a partner in crime (the good kind!). Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 nails it. Two can do way more. When one falls, there is somebody to lift him. That is a divine partnership!
4. Not Just The Moment
Marriage makes you think long-term, way past the latest trends, or your Instagram feed. It’s all about building something that lasts. Something of meaning. What married folk get to see, time and time again, are front rows of what matters: love, family, faith, and making a difference. It’s about the big picture, not just the flashy moments.
Marriage has its lessons, and being single comes with its lessons, too. Keep learning all you can learn as singles and couples. Never stop investing in your relationship and marriage! When family life collapses, it affects every other area! Invest in your relationship and marriage today!
I have a message from the Lord for anyone willing to believe in His word. I don’t know who you are or where you are, but you’re about to give up on your marriage. You feel tired and lack the strength to continue. In your relationship, despite God indicating that he or she is the right person for you, things seem to be faltering. Perhaps you’ve heard God’s guidance but are losing faith, wondering when circumstances will improve and when you will transition from scarcity to abundance.
I am here to proclaim God’s word to you: your relationship or marriage is not dead. This echoes the words of Jesus in the book of Luke, chapter 8.
Luke 8:51-53 KJV: [51] And when he came into the house, he allowed no one to enter except Peter, James, John, and the parents of the young girl. [52] Everyone mourned and wept for her, but he said, “Do not weep; she is not dead, but sleeping.” [53] And they ridiculed him, knowing she was dead.
In this passage, we see Jesus summoned by Jairus to heal his dying daughter. It’s important to seek God’s presence when facing challenges. When Jesus was en route to Jairus’ home, a servant reported the girl’s death, questioning the need to trouble the Master further.
Yet, Jesus, the giver of life, declared, “Do not weep; she is not dead but sleeping.
The marriage causing you distress is not dead but sleeping, according to Jesus. He defines any situation as He sees fit. I do not advocate for separation or divorce, though it may be the best solution in some cases where the partners are unwilling to make the marriage work.
Jesus asserts that your marriage or relationship is not dead. Do not label as dead what Jesus calls sleeping. I recall a time when my fiance (now my husband) and I experienced a brief separation lasting about two hours due to an unresolved argument. He suggested we part ways, and we did, losing our peace in the process. However, we couldn’t end our relationship because Jesus declared, “Your relationship is not dead but sleeping.” Indeed, our relationship did not die; it merely slept for a few hours.
Jesus can intervene in your relationship and marriage. Trust in Him and His word, and you will testify that nothing perishes in Jesus’ hands.
Singles: Once a condition is attached, there is a problem already. Let me give you examples.
If you love me, you will offer me your body. Well, the reality is that you are not married, and you are not supposed to be doing that. You can speak grammar, you can argue it, you can defend yourself, you can pacify your conscience, but what is wrong is wrong! Pre-marital sex is wrong! Period! God does not approve it and getting into that clime will ensure God´s favor is lost! That will not be your portion!
A lot of singles who are after money will do everything including compromising their relationship integrity, well that will no longer be love! We all know that God Himself is love! Once God is not involved, it wouldn’t be love any longer.
Additionally, anybody who doesn’t know God, and doesn’t obey God will not be able to love you the right way!
Couples: We are to love our spouses unconditionally! It´s called agape love, the kind of love with which God loves us. It’s a love without conditions. Imagine if God were to love us with conditions, we certainly would not survive that arrangement. Instead, the scripture tells us he died for us while we are yet sinners.
Rom 5:8 (KJV) But God commendeth his love toward us, in that, while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us.
If you love your spouse with conditions, that marriage might not survive! That is the plain truth.
As couples, you have to love without retaliations, expectations, and reservations.
This involves operating in quick forgiveness. Somebody said and I believe that a great union is one of two quick forgivers.
Let go of that animosity and bickering and love one another the way God wants it. That way, you can be sure of God’s blessings and favor over yourselves, your family, and home.
This month, soar with love and by love! Refuse to be domiciled to the creek of bitterness and acrimony! Let love rule in your relationships and marriage!
In this kingdom and clime, we soar with love. We do not allow the weight of offenses to keep us down nor do we allow the slime of unforgiveness to stain our dignity in God!
We rule this month! We gain ascent this month to the region of perpetual victory and unending praise!
My wife and I have zero strife! It wasn’t always like that, but we soared and ascended with the help of the Holy Spirit!
And guess what, lots of space and liberty here! Join us on this trip, it´s bliss!
Rom 5:5 (KJV) And hope maketh not ashamed; because the love of God is shed abroad in our hearts by the Holy Ghost which is given unto us.
The words above filtered into my spirit this morning as I waited on God for a word for us for this month!
No shame because of His love! This love can be shed in our hearts!
I love other translations.
Rom 5:5 (MSG) In alert expectancy such as this, we’re never left feeling shortchanged. Quite the contrary—we can’t round up enough containers to hold everything God generously pours into our lives through the Holy Spirit!
This month you will not be left shortchanged! God will pour beautiful and glorious things into your life this month!
Look at Amplified version.
Rom 5:5 (AMPC) Such hope never disappoints or deludes or shames us, for God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit Who has been given to us.
Wow!
This month, you will not be disappointed!
You will not be deluded!
You will not be ashamed!
Why?
God´s love has been poured into our Hearts!
I pray for you, may you experience that love in all its fullness in Jesus’ name!
We had a Master Class for Singles and Couples Yesterday! Did you miss it? Not to worry! You can watch it HERE or simply check below the page.
We learned yesterday about the Pain Paradox, which is similar in principle to ‘Delayed Gratification.’ The Pain Paradox states that the short-term easy leads to the long-term difficult, while the short-term difficult leads to the long-term easy. We ‘pay’ now and ‘play later,’ or we ‘play now’ and ‘pay later.’
I started on this topic yesterday, and we examined five areas where we need to apply the principle of the pain paradox as singles and married couples.
We looked at:
1. Our Spiritual Lives
As singles and married individuals, we need to prioritize our spiritual lives. Developing intimacy with God requires time. So, spend a few minutes every day to enjoy bliss in your life, marriage, or relationship.
2. Our Finances
Money matters a lot in relationships and marriages. Make investments and reap the dividends later. As singles, don’t squander your future trying to impress your significant other. As married individuals, be wise and delay gratification.
Today, we will be looking at:
3. Our Emotional Life
Everyone has emotions, which are what make us behave the way we do. There are negative emotions that we need to eliminate from our lives. These negative emotions can prevent us from experiencing joy and harmony in our relationships and marriages.
When we know we have certain bad habits, it is crucial for us to find books that address such tendencies. It is foolish to continue living in a way that causes our loved ones pain, saying ‘that is who I am.’ The responsibility is ours to make necessary adjustments.
4. Our Physical Life
More specifically, our health. We need to take care of our bodies. Our bodies house the spirit of the Lord. They house our gifts, talents, destinies, and everything good about us. God gave us our bodies as a jacket or suit to enable us to function and live on this earth. Once this ‘jacket’ wears out, death is inevitable.
Please be mindful of what you eat. You are what you eat. Don’t dig your grave with your teeth by consuming unhealthy foods. What you eat also affects you. Ignorance is not an excuse; educate yourself about your diet.
Ladies, the kitchen is your domain; help your husband and children stay healthy. Don’t contribute to your husband’s health decline. Wives, be cautious about preparing heavy meals like pounded yam and egusi at 11 pm. Consuming too much beef is harmful.
Whether you are single or married, take your health seriously. Know your health status. Monitor your blood pressure, check your kidneys, undergo a liver function test, and check your cholesterol level. Do a health check-up. It doesn’t have to be expensive.
Take care of your body, what you do to it, and what you do with it.
5. Our Family
For singles, you belong to a family before you start your own. Invest your best into your family. Don’t cause your mother sleepless nights and heartache. Uphold the family name. Be a good child to your parents. Make them proud. Let every remembrance of you be a cause for thanksgiving.
As a married couple, raise your children in the ways of the Lord, and when they are old, they will not stray from it. Unite your family members in love. Be under the grace of God, and He will show you mercy in Jesus’ mighty name.
This discusses delayed gratification, where you ‘pay’ now and ‘gain’ later as opposed to ‘gaining’ now to ‘pay’ later. This paradox is noteworthy, and we need to take note of it. It is always better to ‘pay’ now and ‘play’ later in our relationships and marriages.
I want to discuss 5 things this morning that we need to do now in our relationships and marriages that will yield great dividends for us later on. We must learn as individuals and as couples to delay gratification. One of the marks of maturity is when we learn to delay gratification.
Tonight is MASTERCLASS with singles and couples! Don’t miss it. Find details below. Invite others, and see the links to our Whatsapp groups below the page!
As Singles, engaging in premarital sex is tantamount to not knowing how to delay gratification. It’s better to invest a few years in getting to know yourselves before marriage and then spend all of your married lives enjoying sex together.
As a couple, we need to learn how to delay gratification when we feel like having an anger outburst or when we feel the need to express our emotions intensely. God doesn’t want us to yield to our flesh every time. He wants us to be controlled by the Holy Spirit. He wants the Holy Spirit to govern our moods, feelings, and actions. We are not to engage in tit for tat in our relationships and marriages.
Let’s now explore 5 areas where we can apply the Pain Paradox in our relationships and marriages.
Our spiritual life: From the time of finding the right person to marrying to living out our married life blissfully, we need to embrace the principle of the Pain Paradox. It makes a lot of sense if we take time out to discern God’s perfect will for us before entering into marriage.
We save ourselves a lot of heartache when we are sure we are on the same page with God on our marital journey. We can always turn to God for direction and guidance whenever we are in a dilemma. As married couples, it’s highly beneficial to prioritize walking with God because marriage cannot thrive outside of God.
Spend time getting to know and following God now, rather than using that time to pursue frivolities. Immerse yourself in God’s Word. Learn His principles now for your marriage, and you won’t have to deal with the pain of ignorance later. There is a time to sow and a time to reap. Sow now and reap later. Don’t sow now, and you won’t have anything to reap later.
Our Financial life: Finances are one of the greatest tools in relationships and marriage. The Bible says money answers all things. We need to plan our finances well. As Singles, you need to be financially intelligent. Don’t spend your hard-earned money proposing with a diamond ring when you are not even sure if she will eventually marry you.
Am I against a beautiful proposal? No. What I am saying is, can you afford such expenses when you don’t have any good investments? As couples, don’t live beyond your means. Going to fancy restaurants all the time when you can cook at home is not too wise.
Live by a budget. Let your finances be budgeted. Invest for a rainy day. Buy land or real estate. Invest now to reap the benefits later.
I will stop here today. I will continue tomorrow by God’s grace.
I particularly love this piece of advice. It is one of the classic words in Proverbs that remains evergreen for all men and women from all walks of life and for every young person. It is one of the Bible verses taught in most children’s churches so that we can learn early to trust in the Lord. God must be trusted; that’s why He is Lord.
Have you ever been in a situation where you thought you had it all figured out, only to be disappointed by the eventual outcome?
In relationships and our marriages, God’s word tells us not to lean on our own understanding. God knows that we have understanding, but we are not to depend on it. Let’s consider Proverbs 3:5:
Proverbs 3:5 GW [5] Trust the Lord with all your heart, and do not rely on your own understanding.
We are to trust in the Lord with all our hearts. That means it’s very possible not to trust in the Lord. It’s also possible to trust God with only part of our heart.
As singles, stop all the calculations. One plus one does not always equal two. God doesn’t want us to be disappointed every time before we learn to trust Him.
God is calling us to a beautiful relationship with Him. In choosing whom to marry, God wants to take the lead. Even when you are sure the person will agree to your proposal, God wants you to enjoy the pleasure of trusting Him. He wants to carry you until the process is completed. He wants to be your Daddy.
As married couples, this Bible verse becomes even more relevant. Several times, I have fallen flat on my face when I relied on my understanding with my husband. Sometimes, I predicted my husband’s reactions only to be disappointed. I have learned and am still learning to trust the Lord with all my heart and not rely on my understanding.
There are so many areas of my life where I can begin to practice trusting in the Lord. You too can begin to apply this Bible verse, whether when it comes to shopping for your household, childcare, your day-to-day activities at work, your decisions, your business, or your relationship with your spouse. You can’t rely on your understanding in dealing with your spouse because usually, we differ in temperament.
Our lives will become much easier when we learn in little things and big things to trust in the Lord with all our hearts and not rely on our understanding.
A man or woman has so many areas of life, so many ‘ways’ if I may use that word. Are we going to talk about career, finance, marital life, academics, work, business, spirituality, emotions, and so on? There are so many ways!
How does one bring all these ways together? How does one ask God to take charge of all these ways especially relationship and marital aspects?
It is evident in the Holy Writ! Let’s take a look!
Pro 3:6 (KJV) In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.
In all your WAYS, ACKNOWLEDGE Him! The consequence of that is that He will direct all your paths!
Do you acknowledge God in all your ways? If you do, sit back and relax, He will unleash a system of divine direction for you and you will never be lost in the maze of life! You will never have to grope in the dark, murky path of marital endeavor as a result of experimenting with several lovers!
Let’s consider some other translations to bring more clarity.
Pro 3:6 (MSG) Listen for GOD’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track.
Wow! I love this one. Watch out for His voice in EVERYTHING you do and EVERYWHERE you go, and He is committed to keeping you on track!
You will not miss your track!
You know what I see here? God doesn’t want to be ignored!
How do you acknowledge God? Talk to Him about everything you do.
The height of foolishness is ignoring God! The Bible says expressly that;
Psa 14:1a (KJV) The fool hath said in his heart, There is no God…
One definition of a foolish man; he does His things as though there is no God!
Conversely, you will have the wisdom to rule in the affairs of this world when you learn to ACKNOWLEDGE God in ALL YOUR WAYS!
Debunking Common Marriage Myths and Misconceptions
Marriage is a beautiful journey that brings two individuals together in love, commitment, and companionship. However, it’s not strange for various myths and misconceptions to obscure people’s perceptions of what a successful marriage entails. In this devotional, we will debunk some of the most prevalent marriage myths and shed light on the realities of married life.
Myth: We will be happy forever Many individuals grow up with the false notion that marriage guarantees a lifetime of bliss, happiness, and endless enjoyment. While marriage can indeed bring joy, it’s important to note that challenges and ups and downs are also a part of the journey. Realistic expectations and effective communication are vital in navigating the complexities of married life. Marriage only works for those who work it!
Myth: Once we love ourselves, we are good! Love is undoubtedly important in a marriage, but it’s not the only ingredient for a thriving partnership. Marriage requires commitment, compromise, mutual respect, and ongoing effort from both partners. It requires a lot of prayers and patience! Synergizing your values, trust, and understanding is essential for lasting marital success.
Myth: Incessant Quarrels translate to a failed marriage The reality is that conflict is not necessarily a negative aspect of a marriage. Healthy disagreements can lead to growth, understanding, and deeper emotional connections. It’s how couples handle and resolve conflicts that truly matters. When a couple understands themselves, and is sacrificial, they will stay together for long and have a successful marriage.
Myth: Marriage will make me to be fulfilled A common misconception is that marriage will fill the emptiness in our lives and make us whole. While marriage can bring happiness and fulfillment, it’s important to have a sense of self-worth, good self-esteem, personal goals, and interests outside the relationship. Each partner should maintain their individuality while nurturing marital unity.
Myth: Marriage is easy once you are in love Marriage requires continuous effort, adjustment, and adaptability. It’s unrealistic to expect a smooth sailing journey without any challenges. Couples should be prepared to navigate through life puzzles and be willing to grow together, learning from each other’s strengths and weaknesses. The commitment to work through difficulties can lead to a deeper and more resilient relationship.
Gen 2:18 (AMPC+) Now the Lord God said, It is not good (sufficient, satisfactory) that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper (suitable, adapted, complementary) for him.
Conclusion: By debunking these marriage myths and misconceptions, we can approach married life with a more realistic and pragmatic position. Understanding that marriage requires effort, compromise, and acceptance of imperfections can lead to a more fulfilling and harmonious partnership.
Remember, a successful marriage is built on love, respect, communication, and synergy from the couple.
I hope this devotional helps you in addressing marriage myths and enlightening your readers. If you need any further assistance or have any specific requests, feel free to let me know in the comment section!
For singles and couples, the issue of financial compatibility will always come to the fore because finances are an essential part of love life. The reality is that when financial issues are out of the way, more than fifty percent of the problems are solved.
Financial compatibility is important because it is dangerous to marry someone whose financial principles and practices are polarized to you. This doesn’t mean you are financial experts but what it means is that you should be on the same page so that you can synergize together.
Here Are Conversations You Should Have
1. Financial History: What has been the financial history? How has your potential spouse been handling finances? As newly married, you will immediately notice that your partner’s financial habit before the wedding prevails within your home. It is good to have these conversations!
2. Budgeting Together: Have you discussed budgeting, planning, and spending? What amount goes for which? What are the priorities? As engaged or newly married couples, are you on the same page? Do you consult one another before major spending?
3. Financial Goals: What are the plans? This should be discussed! When are you going to start developing your property? What kind of school are the children going to? What kind of income streams are in the pipeline?
4. Debts and Savings: Are there debts before the wedding? Light or huge debt? Are there serious and chronic debt habit that needs attention and counseling? You cannot close your eyes to all these indications. As a newlywed, are you servicing debt with all your income like in Nigeria? Lol…
5. Crisis Management: What are the financial plans in place in emergencies? What are the options? Have you decided that you will never use a loan to take care of another debt? What are the immediate plans to stop addictions from constantly patronizing loan apps?
These and more conversations will help you when it comes to finances and your love life.
Dear singles and couples, let’s have a heart-to-heart talk about something that really matters – finding your purpose, not just in life, but in the realms of before and after you say “I do.” Whether you’re single, engaged, or already hooked, understanding your purpose is like having a compass that guides you through the stormy and sunny days of life.
Before Marriage: Discovering Yourself
1. Discover Yourself: Before you can share your life with someone, it’s crucial to know who you are. What lights your fire? What are your passions, values, and dreams? This isn’t just about career or hobbies; it’s about understanding your core. Why are you here? What is your purpose?
2. Build Your Relationship with God: Your faith isn’t just a part of your life; it’s the lens through which you see the world. Strengthening your relationship with God helps clarify your purpose and aligns your path with His plans. He created young so the template of your life is with Him.
3. Serve Others: Service isn’t just a nice thing to do; it’s a way to discover aspects of yourself and your purpose. Whether it’s volunteering at church or helping out in the community, service expands your heart and your understanding of where you fit in this world. When you serve, He said he will bless your bread and water!
After Marriage: Growing Together
1. Unite Your Dreams: Now that you’re a team, it’s time to align your purposes. This doesn’t mean giving up your individual dreams but finding ways they can complement and support each other. Be on the same page in your respective areas of specialization. Allow two chasing ten thousand rather than as individuals chasing a thousands each.
2. What’s Your Vision?: What do you want your marriage to stand for? Together, create a vision that includes not just your goals as a couple but also how you want to contribute to the world around you. Create a vision board for your family and that will help you keep focus.
3. Keep God at the Center: As you navigate married life, keeping your faith central can help you face challenges and make decisions that honor your shared purpose. Need stop reading and studying your Bible! Pray in the Spirit a lot and allow God to build your family for you!
Remember, finding and fulfilling your purpose is a journey, not a destination. It’s about growing, learning, and adapting, whether you’re single, engaged, or married.
So, take a deep breath, trust in God’s plan, and embark on this beautiful adventure of discovering and living out your purpose.
Nothing grows romantic love like being quick to forgive. When we see that we are drifting away from our sweet spot, forgiveness does the magic. Notwithstanding who is at fault. Just taking the initiative to say ‘I’m sorry’ first does the trick. It is maturity. Say sorry first, and you win.
Whenever you swallow your pride for the sake of growing your romantic love, you win.
As singles, forgiveness is a constant in a relationship. Practice and learn forgiving the one you love. Don’t count scores. Your flesh will want to pay back evil for evil, tit for tat. Learn to be more like Christ. Let your romantic love grow to be more patient and kind, gentle, not boastful, not envious.
In marriage, the Lord warns us never to allow strife.
I think it is in marriage that most offense happens. Your spouse will step on your toes and still justify their actions.
Opposites truly attract, but with time, they begin to repel. Don’t let animosity fester. Apologize when your spouse is angry at you. Little things may anger your spouse; don’t rationalize, don’t be logical about how or why he/she should be angry, just apologize.
An apology is not about who is wrong but about having feelings for the one who is pained.
5. Appreciation
These two words, ‘thank you,’ grow your romantic love towards each other. It shows your sensitivity to the needs of your partner to be appreciated.
As singles, never take your partner for granted. This understanding is very necessary if you want your romantic love to grow in a healthy way and not be stunted.
Remember that it is a privilege for your partner to be nice, kind, good, forgiving, hardworking, thoughtful, neat, punctual, and the list of good virtues and qualities goes on and on.
Appreciate whatever good you see and recognize in your partner. When it comes to looking at their good qualities, look at it with a magnifying lens. Don’t let their good deeds be little in your eyes.
Remember, whatever you appreciate, appreciates. Whatever you don’t appreciate, depreciates.
As couples, make appreciation a big deal. Celebrate your spouse for the simplest things. Never take them for granted.
So yesterday, I started teaching on this topic. I established the fact that romantic love is essential in relationships and it makes marriage exciting.
Kindly read yesterday’s devotional.
5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love.
Yesterday, we looked at:
Understand their love language and speak it.
It is the duty of everyone in a relationship to discover, understand, and then start speaking their partner’s love language.
In marriage, you keep on speaking and rediscovering your spouse’s love language over time and as occasion demands. Yesterday’s love language may not be today’s love language.
No love without giving
A gift is like a magic wand that brings favor. The Bible says good understanding procures favor. Understand the magic that gifts bring and use it to your advantage whether in relationships or marriage.
Today, we are looking at:
3. Express your love to your lover in creative ways.
Just yesterday, while my housekeeper was cleaning and clearing the house, I saw one of the love notes my husband wrote to me way back in 1996. It was so heart-warming. I handed it over to him, and he read it to me again.
So sweet. I felt loved all over again. I saw his heart and his love so genuine and pure.
There was nothing sexual about that love letter. It communicated his love to me, our future together based on God’s promise, and our love together in its purest form.
Of course, I kept the note and cherished it. A 28-year-old love letter, neat and fresh, just like it was written yesterday. It was neatly written on pink cardboard and designed. Talk about romantic love, that is what I mean. My husband is more romantic than I am, you can bet.
It was not expensive, just a cardboard and pen, but it was and is still so priceless. It means so much to me.
Those days we could not afford anything fanciful, not even a date at a restaurant, but our romantic love was intact. No one could have convinced us that we were not in love.
So, singles, be creative in expressing your love to one another without being sexual.
To our married folks, good romantic love in a relationship serves as a good foundation upon which to build and continue expressing your love to each other in very creative ways.
Your husband or your wife will still long for that romantic part of you. Never allow the busyness of being married to steal that aspect of your marriage. If it does, the marriage starts to nosedive. Remember, he/she is still that boy or that girl you fell in love with. To be continued tomorrow.
It is very true that opposites attract, so it’s not out of place to have one partner more romantic than the other.
Even though romance is a feeling, it can be properly expressed in a decent way, especially in relationships, noting that there is a way to treat your unmarried partner. Like my Pastor said, you are a male by birth but become a gentleman by choice and by learning. So, you also become a lady by choice. There is a proper way to treat each other when you are in love and an improper way to treat each other when in a relationship.
Someone might say, we don’t have to be romantic in a relationship; we have to be all spiritual, so we don’t end up in fornication.
Yes, a lot of caution has to be put in place in order to honor God in your relationship. However, romantic love should not be totally thrown out the window.
Let’s see what romantic love is.
Romance or romantic love can be defined as a feeling of love for, or a strong attraction towards, another person, and the courtship behaviors undertaken by an individual to express those overall feelings and resultant emotions.
As singles, we teach to be courteous and put the brakes on romantic love so it doesn’t get out of hand. Like the Bible says in the Song of Songs:
Song of Songs 8:4 NIV [4] Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.
There should be a proper blend between being spiritual and being romantic. Being romantic has nothing to do with being sexual. As a single guy, you can treat your partner with so much respect, honor, and courtesy, and that’s being romantic.
Married couples, you have all the license to express love in the most romantic ways without applying the brakes because you are married. Now is not the time to take your spouse for granted because he/she is now yours. Still maintain that strong feeling of love and attractiveness to one another.
5 Ways to Grow Your Romantic Love
Understand their love language and speak it.
Singles, try and discover your partner’s love language and speak it. Couples, continue to express and speak your spouse’s love language in every way you can. Build on what you discovered about them when you were in courtship.
2. No love without giving
Some singles say, giving is not my thing, or we are not married yet, how can I give her/him gifts? It is abnormal to be in a relationship for a year and not to have given each other anything. It is not only ladies that should receive gifts; guys too should be given gifts. You show you care about someone when you give gifts to them.
In marriage, the gifts should continue and never cease. This is not about whether he/she really likes gifts. Everybody likes gifts. You express your love in gifts, not just in thoughts but in actions. The gifts don’t have to be expensive or elaborate, even though there’s nothing wrong with, once in a while, maybe on special occasions like a birthday or wedding anniversary, getting your spouse an expensive gift. It is the gesture and thoughtfulness in gifts that makes them a good way to express romantic love.
I will stop here and continue tomorrow. Stay blessed.
Let’s talk about something we all think about at some point: the journey from dating to saying “I do.” Whether you’re swiping right, already in a relationship, married, or just curious, you will learn something new today!
Dating Days
So, you’re dating. It’s like being on an adventure where you’re getting to know your partner. What makes them laugh, what dreams they’re chasing, and yeah, even what annoys them? Let me warn you, however, that you will never truly be able to know everything about them until you are MARRIED!
Exploration Time: Think of dating as your exploration mission. You’re learning about each other’s past, what you believe in, and what you both want down the road.
Talking It Out: Communication is key. It’s all about being real and honest with each other and building a strong foundation for whatever comes next. Talk about everything!
You Do You: It’s crucial to keep being yourself while you’re part of a duo. Balancing “me” and “we” is the real deal. Do not lose your identity because you are in love.
Dealing with Disagreements: Too many disagreements? Normal. How you tackle these moments can make or break your future together.
Taking the Leap
Getting married isn’t just about food and parties. It’s like leveling up in a game where you commit to tackle all of life’s levels together.
1. Deep Connections: Once you’re married, you share more, support more, and get each other on a deeper level. Your destinies become wedged together!
2. Money Talks: From who’s paying for dinner to saving for a dream vacation money matters start to shift once you’re married. Most quarrels emanate from money issues. It is good to settle in this area.
3. New Daily Life: It will no longer be just you, but now the two of you. You move from being selfish to selfless in other to be a good spouse!
After the “I Do”
Marriage is about growing on what you’ve already built, diving deeper into knowing and supporting each other.
Be Committed: Marriage means you’re in it together, come what may, with a stronger sense of commitment.
Deeper Chit-Chats: As life changes, the way you talk and connect evolves too. You must learn to be open, naked and not ashamed.
More Than Lovey-Dovey: Intimacy goes beyond the physical; it’s about connecting on all levels, being each other’s rock. Be there for yourselves, in the bedroom and out of the bedroom
Be on the same Page: You’ll face challenges, sure, but you’ll do it together, which only makes your bond stronger. One will chase a thousand, two will chase ten thousand!
Keep Dating!
Don’t let the flames of romance die out. Keeping the love alive is key to a happy marriage.
Date Nights: Keep dating each other, even after you’re married. It keeps things fun and fresh.
Talk the Talk: Keep the conversation going. Talk about your dreams, fears, and everything in between. The moment you stonewall, the wall is broken down and the devil will come in!
Support Squad: Support each other’s goals and dreams. It’s you two and Jesus against the world and the devil, remember?
Shake Things Up: Try new things together. It keeps the excitement alive. Be creative. Fight boredom. Do something new.
From dating to marriage, it’s about enjoying the journey together, through the ups and downs, and maintaining your joy all along the way!
Many single ladies and guys are finding it difficult to know who the perfect will of God is for them. The guy is cool, and the ladies seem pleasant but is he/she the one God has in mind for me?
This is one of the questions that has bothered the singles ever since, at least those that fear the Lord.
Some other carnal believers just think, ‘I am the one marrying here not God, so let me choose what I like and I will be good’. Nothing is farther from the truth than this.
For us married folk, I used to think, but we have the Holy Spirit and He knows all things but why are we not led by Him all the time? Especially in our marital affairs.
The answer is in the state of our mind.
It is our privilege as born-again believers to be led by the Holy Spirit. That is what distinguishes us from unbelievers. That is our ‘X’ factor. And you know what, whether you are single or married, the Holy Spirit delights to lead us.
Romans 8:14 NIV For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God.
The problem is in the state of our minds. The Holy Spirit has information, wisdom, and strategies He wants to download to us, but our minds are too busy. He wants to tell us things, secrets about our spouses, about our intended partners.
We will however not be able to receive this leading because our minds are too busy. There is the normal state of mind, which is serene, calm and quiet. There is the abnormal state which is busy, filled with worries, evil thoughts, doubts, etc
God can only lead us in our relationship and marriage affairs if our mind is stayed on Him.
Isaiah 26:3 NIV You will keep in perfect peace those whose minds are steadfast, because they trust in you.
Isaiah 26:3 AMPC You will guard him and keep him in perfect and constant peace whose mind [both its inclination and its character] is stayed on You, because he commits himself to You, leans on You, and hopes confidently in You.
The Amplified Classic translation explains it well. God will only guard and guide us with His peace which is the umpire that tells us we are on the right track when choosing who we are to marry.
He will guide us with His peace when we know that the Holy Spirit is teaching us what to do in our marriage.
Our minds have to be stayed on the Word. We have to discipline our minds for it not to be wandering.
Our minds have to be focused on meditating on the word. If we want to enjoy the leading of the Holy Spirit, we have to actively keep our minds pondering, thinking, contemplating on His word, worship, and praying.
To know the voice of the Holy Spirit, we need to be ‘used’ to how He speaks.
Be disciplined with your mind. Think about what you are thinking about. Be quick to keep your mind stayed on the word. Keep your mind in worship, thinking of God’s goodness and His wondrous works. Plead the blood of Jesus on your mind to cleanse it from every dead works of unrighteousness.
Let your mind be free enough for the Holy Spirit to communicate with you and you being able to receive whatever He wants to say.
The other day, I was talking our first son and his best friend, and my question was “When are you guys getting married? Both of them just smiled and replied with an expression like, “Marriage? Who is thinking of that?” When I was my son’s age, I was already “toasting” Pastor Sophia!
Why do guys hesitate today? Why does it seem marriage is the last thing on their mind?
Let’s dive into this this morning.
The world today is a fast-paced world, where instant gratification is often a click away, but relationships and marriage seem to be following a different timeline!
This phenomenon has sparked curiosity and, at times, frustration among young ladies wanting to walk down the aisle. So, why are guys taking their sweet time to commit or walk down the aisle?
Did you miss yesterday’s devotional? Read it below!
The young man today is fiercely independent, valuing personal growth and career ambitions. Many young men are delaying marriage to focus on establishing themselves professionally and financially. This may nit be unconnected that there is “hunger” in the land! Building a career before building a home resonates strongly. For married couples, ensure there is a balance between you career and home! Family comes first!
2. Perfect Timing
The concept of “perfect timing” is another factor contributing to the delay. Guys are more attuned to the idea of timing in their lives, often waiting for the perfect moment when all stars align – career stability, emotional readiness, and finding the ideal partner. This pursuit of the perfect scenario can lead to postponements in making significant relationship milestones.
After wedding, ask married couples, three will be more responsibilities, but this also makes you to sit up and harness every grace and opportunities available to take care of your family!
I will stop here today! Watch out for the second part tomorrow!
We live in a world of constant noise – pings from social media, pressure to keep up with the latest trends, and an unrelenting expectation to be everything to everyone. It’s easy to get lost in that chaos, losing sight of who we truly are. Whether you’re single or married, there’s one prayer that strikes a chord deep within: “Lord, Deliver Me From Me.”
Psa 139:23 (MSG) Investigate my life, O God, find out everything about me; Cross-examine and test me, get a clear picture of what I’m about;
We’ve all been there, staring at our reflection, wondering why we can’t just be a little more like this or a little less like that. In our pursuit of perfection, we become our own harshest critics and biggest roadblocks. But here’s a liberating truth: It’s okay not to have it all figured out. It’s okay to be a work in progress, constantly evolving and growing.
For the singles out there, society often makes it seem like you’re on a ticking clock, that you need to have your life mapped out with a fairy-tale ending. But guess what? Your worth isn’t tied to your relationship status. Your journey is uniquely yours, and it’s not a race against anyone else. Praying “Lord, deliver me from me” is a powerful way to let go of those self-imposed pressures and anxieties. It’s about asking God to help you embrace your singleness as a season of growth, discovery, and self-love. Being single isn’t a waiting room for happiness; it’s a chapter where you get to write the rules, discover your passions, and build an unshakable relationship with yourself and God.
Now’s your golden chance to dive into what makes you tick, explore new hobbies, and figure out your dreams – just you, no plus one needed. Use this solo time to get tight with God, finding out who you are in His eyes, which is pretty amazing and so much bigger than just being someone’s other half. Don’t just solo it; build your tribe of friends, family, and mentors – these connections are priceless. Got goals? Now’s the time to chase them down, whether it’s your career or learning something new. And most importantly, take care of your heart and mind, and find joy in your own company.
For the married folks, this prayer is equally potent. Marriage is a beautiful dance of togetherness and individuality, but it’s easy to lose yourself in the duo. “Lord, deliver me from me” is a heartfelt plea to maintain your essence while being an integral part of a union. It’s about asking for the grace to grow together without losing sight of who you are as individuals. It’s a prayer for patience, understanding, and the strength to be your partner’s ally, not their adversary. Remember, your marriage is as unique as a fingerprint, and there’s no one-size-fits-all formula. Embrace your journey, with all its twists and turns, and know that it’s okay to be imperfectly perfect.
Just because you’re hooked doesn’t mean you vanish into the “we” – keep that awesome “you” shining bright. Picture your marriage like a bike ride; you both get to steer and enjoy the view. Living with your lover means patience is your new best friend. Think of your spouse as your co-conspirator in this adventure of life, not the opponent you need to outwit or outlast. Embrace the one-of-a-kind life you two are living together, and enjoy it!
Whether you’re single or married, young or old, the prayer “Lord, Deliver Me From Me” is a powerful reminder that we’re not alone in our struggles. It’s an acknowledgment that sometimes, the person we need to be delivered from is ourselves. So, let’s take a deep breath and step into this journey with open hearts. Let’s be kind to ourselves, embrace our flaws, and celebrate our victories, no matter how small. After all, life isn’t about having all the answers; it’s about trusting the One who does. Remember, you’re not alone. We’re all in this together, learning, growing, and finding our way. And in those moments when you feel overwhelmed, just whisper that simple yet profound prayer, “Lord, Deliver Me From Me,” and watch as peace fills your heart and guides your steps.
If all singles and married couples can master these 5 points, there will be fewer issues in their relationships. These are just the basic things; if you walk with the Holy Spirit, He will tell you how to tailor things to meet your specific needs in time.
He is the best companion ever in relationships and marriage. He knows what you and your partner need and knows exactly what wisdom to use and how to navigate the complex issues and nature of your relationship and marriage.
Here are the 5 tips:
Master communication.
As a single, have conversations that reveal your true self and encourage the other person to do the same. Your conversations are for connection, not just surface talk. For married couples, keep communication lines open and honest. Share your feelings, dreams, and fears without reservations. Your conversations are to deepen your connection, ensuring both of you feel heard and understood.
Understand yourself
As a single, be clear on who you are and what you want. What makes you happy. Be clear about your non-negotiable. This clarity will help you in finding and keeping the one person with whom you can truly do life together. As a couple, keep growing. Personal growth is essential to the health of your marriage. Also, encourage each other’s ambitions and passions.
Handle Conflicts Smartly
As singles, know that disagreements are a part of your journey. If conflict arises, tackle it with maturity and understanding, knowing that it’s not about winning the argument but respecting your differences. As couples, see disagreements as a means to get to know each other better. Work at solving conflicts to benefit the relationship and not just the individual.
Cherish and value your independence.
As a single, embrace and enjoy your single life, pursue your passions and interests, have friends outside your relationship. As couples, maintain personal interests and do things you enjoy. This contributes to a more healthy and vibrant relationship, which allows both partners to bring fresh experiences and insights into the marriage.
Align your goals.
As a single, nurture the vision you share together for the future, whatever it is. Being on the same wavelength can prevent a lot of heartache eventually. As a couple, constantly check if your goals and dreams are still in sync. As you grow, so do your dreams. Ensuring that you are still heading in the same direction strengthens your bond and makes your journey together fulfilling and exciting.
