When people think about love, they often picture grand gestures—expensive gifts, romantic dates, or the recent ongoing proposal craze. Ehm, all these are good and to be injected into the relationship or marriage. But listen, at the end of the day, true love isn’t proven in those big, glamorous moments but in the ordinary, everyday ones.
For singles, it’s easy to get carried away by appearances and by those exciting moments in a relationship. But let me let you know that even the devil can be a tall, dark, and handsome man who knows how to spoil you with fun. So, don’t allow your emotions to make the decision for you—let your brain function well, too. Beyond the romantic dates and sweet words that juggle your emotions, ask yourself: Can this person love and respect me in the ordinary, everyday issues? Can they be patient when you’re stressed? Can they handle disagreements with maturity? Do they regard your opinions? Do they have empathy, not just towards you but also towards others?
Love that you will enjoy in marriage isn’t built on butterflies but on consistent character. It’s in the small, everyday matters. Romantic date nights won’t happen every day in marriage, right? But you will live and relate with each other every single day. Open your brains, my friend.
For married couples, well, you’re already in. So, take this and implement it in your marriage. Love isn’t just about anniversaries and pulling off surprises; it’s about the little, simple everyday choices and acts—choosing patience over anger, choosing to listen instead of dismissing, choosing kindness when tired, washing the dishes without being asked, sending a thoughtful message in the middle of the day, offering a hug after an argument, instead of banging the door and storming out of the house. These small moments may seem insignificant, but they are the building real VIPs—the real blocks of a strong marriage.
“Let us not love with words or speech but with actions and in truth.” (1 John 3:18).
Love is a daily decision to love in action—in the daily, little things of life, not just in the grand gestures.
Please, how do I end this now? Ehm, okay: Shalom, everyone! 😁
One of the tools the devil uses against the body of Christ is to capitalize on the believer’s ignorance but the question is; Are believers truly ignorant?
The word of God says in Hosea 4:6 “My people are destroyed from lack of knowledge…” Why should we be destroyed, because we lack knowledge when it can be sought for?
In every season of the believer’s life, the right knowledge is needed. It’s about time we understand the authority we have and use it to our advantage.
Jesus Christ said, “Behold, I give unto you power” That power given is meant for use and not to be kept.
Why should you wake up from a dream frightened, when there’s an authority you have in Christ as a believer?
Why is our attitude to positive dreams so calm, but when it’s a negative dream, you can wake up suddenly and pray for hours, just to terminate it, why can’t we pray those positive ones into reality also?
The first authority we have is our identity in Christ. The life of Christ has been given to us to become the sons of God, who have been transformed into the kingdom of His marvelous life. Jesus Christ said on the cross, “It is finished.”
The word of the enemy over our life is finished, the grip of sin over our life is finished, the power of sickness over our life has come to an end, whatsoever that is not of God in our life came to an end when He said, it is finished.
These are the things the devil doesn’t want you to know. The day you know the truth, there’s a freedom that comes with it, and then the application of this truth is peace, dominion, and breakthrough.
Another authority we have is in His word. Hebrews 4:12 says: “The word of God is quick and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword…” It’s deeper than we can ever imagine, the Bible says, the words I speak, are Spirit and Life. This word will only be life for us when we know the life-giver Himself.
The efficacy of the word is activated by God. The word is beyond mere words, you must read it till it becomes the life that awakens your spirit man.
These words established the world, and that’s the authority we are talking about, even the dry bones in the valley received life by the word.
Irrespective of the bad reports that look like the end, the word of God can give life back to it.
Believers, it’s time for us to arise and take our stand. Enough of giving the devil an upper hand over our lives, it’s time to take charge and authority.
Begin to speak those same words into your life now believing it’s done.
The state of the heart is very important because that’s what God will see. When God looks down from heaven, he looks straight into your heart.
Unlike man, God doesn’t see the pulchritude or outward appearance, he looks inward.
Only God can see how desperately wicked a man’s heart is.
Only God knows the lady winking at you this moment but is plotting your downfall.
Only God sees beyond the nose.
Only God that sees the heart that loves you now and will love you some twenty-three years from now.
1 Sam 16:7 But the LORD said unto Samuel, Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature; because I have refused him: for the LORD seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance, but the LORD looketh on the heart.
When God looks into your heart, what does he see? Will he see pride, arrogance, bitterness, rebellion, and all sorts?
Will he see perversion, scheming, devilish plots and what have you?
If God gives you the go-ahead to do what you have in mind, what will it be?
2 Sam 7:1-3 KJV And it came to pass, when the king sat in his house, and the LORD had given him rest round about from all his enemies; 2 That the king said unto Nathan the prophet, See now, I dwell in an house of cedar, but the ark of God dwelleth within curtains. 3 And Nathan said to the king, Go, do all that is in thine heart; for the LORD is with thee.
See another person;
John 13:27, 30 (TPT) And when Judas ate the piece of bread, Satan entered him. Then Jesus looked at Judas and said, “What you are planning to do, go do it now. 30 So Judas left quickly and went out into the dark night to betray Jesus.
If God gives you the go-ahead to start that relationship, will it be a disaster? Think about it.
God did not have respect for Cain’s offering because he saw his heart. God knew he had the capacity to give more, but he decided to withhold it….and God said it would have been better for you not to have given at all.
So God is saying if all you want to be doing is taking selfies at cinema halls, I think you should still remain single… hehe…
If all you want to be doing has no kingdom relevance, God will just be shaking his head from heaven.
Ps 24:3-4 KJV Who shall ascend into the hill of the LORD? or who shall stand in his holy place? 4 He that hath clean hands, and a pure heart; who hath not lifted up his soul unto vanity, nor sworn deceitfully.
Can you see how God lays premium on the heart?
Watch what enters your heart this season. Be deliberate and intentional. Guard your heart with all diligence. Don’t train your heart to accommodate heartache…it can make the heart sick. Your heart is sacred. Don’t make it a dumping ground.
True love is a concept that has been romanticized in movies, songs, and literature, but its essence can only be fully understood through the lens of Scripture. In a world where relationships often prioritize self-interest and fleeting emotions, God’s Word provides a timeless blueprint for what true love looks like.
At the heart of biblical love lies 1 Corinthians 13 , often referred to as the “Love Chapter.” Here, Paul describes love as patient, kind, humble, and enduring. It does not envy or boast, nor does it demand its own way. This passage challenges us to move beyond surface-level attractions and focus on character-driven affection.
True love, according to Scripture, is rooted in sacrificial commitment rather than emotional highs.
Another key example of true love is found in Jesus Christ Himself. John 15:13 says, “Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends.”
Through His death on the cross, Jesus demonstrated ultimate love by giving up His life for humanity. For Christians, emulating Christ’s selfless nature should be the foundation of every relationship—whether romantic, familial, or platonic.
In Ephesians 5:25, husbands are instructed to love their wives “as Christ loved the church.” This verse emphasizes the importance of serving and caring for others before oneself. Similarly, wives are encouraged to respect their husbands, fostering mutual admiration and partnership. Together, these principles create a balanced, God-centered union built on trust and devotion.
For singles, true love begins with loving God first (Matthew 22:37-38). When we prioritize our relationship with Him, we develop the capacity to love others unconditionally. Instead of seeking perfection in a partner, we learn to embrace imperfection while extending grace—a hallmark of divine love.
Ultimately, true love reflects God’s character. It is steadfast, forgiving, and eternal. By grounding ourselves in Scripture, we can cultivate healthier, more meaningful relationships that honor both God and those around us.
We spend a lot of time praying for the “right person” to come our way, but how often do we ask God to make us the right person ourselves? We have long lists of qualities we want in a life partner, but are we becoming someone who embodies those same qualities?
Finding the right person is only one part of a godly relationship; the other is becoming the kind of person who can sustain it. Instead of worrying about when you’ll meet your future spouse, see this season of singleness as an opportunity for God to shape you into the best version of yourself, spiritually, emotionally, and in every area of life.
How to become the right person:
1. Build a Strong Relationship with God
Before you pursue a relationship, your first priority should be deepening your relationship with God. The truth is, no one can complete you or fill a void that only God was meant to fill.
Have you ever had this thought that “If only I had a relationship, I would be happier”? This is a lie the world tells us. True fulfillment comes from knowing God first. A relationship should complement your life, not complete it because in Christ you are already complete.
“But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.” Matthew 6:33 (ESV)
The more you invest in your relationship with God, the more you become the person He created you to be, and the more prepared you’ll be for the right relationship when the time comes.
2. Let God Shape Your Character
To be very honest, no one enters a relationship as a flawless, perfectly put-together person. We all have our struggles, habits, and past wounds that, if left unchecked, can spill over into our relationships. The problem isn’t having flaws, it’s refusing to let God work on them.
A relationship won’t fix insecurity. Marriage won’t heal emotional wounds. A godly partner won’t erase unhealthy patterns. Only God can transform you from the inside out. Instead of waiting for someone to “complete” you, allow God to refine you.
Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind.” — Romans 12:2 (ESV).
God isn’t asking for perfection, He’s asking for willingness. So, instead of just praying for the right person, pray that “Lord, make me into the person You’ve called me to be.”
3. Grow in Emotional Maturity
Love is more than just an emotion. When things are going well, it’s simple to feel in love, but true love isn’t about fleeting feelings. Love is a choice, a daily decision to be kind, patient, and dedicated even when things aren’t going well
Strong relationships need maturity, self-control, and sacrifice. Feelings alone will not get you through disagreements, or misunderstandings. That’s where commitment comes into play, the determination to stick around, the intentionality to work through problems, and keep choosing the other person.
Maturity is that you know how to apologize, take responsibility, and handle your emotions in a healthy way. It means you’re prepared for love beyond the honeymoon phase, the kind of love that mirrors Christ’s love for us which is unconditional.
“When I was a child, I spoke like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I gave up childish ways.” (1 Corinthians 13:11)
4. Build yourself
A relationship isn’t some shortcut to wholeness. If you’re not making progress now, marriage won’t magically fix it. So instead of waiting, start building.
“Prepare your work outside; get everything ready for yourself in the field, and after that build your house.” (Proverbs 24:27, ESV)
Before stepping into love, take time to build yourself first. Build your career, and skills, and pursue your goals. your purpose isn’t on hold until marriage. Make progress, develop your gifts, and embrace the season you’re in. In this way, you’re not just waiting for the right person, but becoming the right person.
Conclusion
This season of singleness isn’t a waiting room, it’s an opportunity. So embrace it, grow through it, and trust that when the time is right, God will align you with the right person. Until then, keep becoming the best version of yourself in Christ!
I want to write to those who are experiencing any form of delay regarding settling down.
Ex 32:1 And when the people saw that Moses delayed to come down out of the mount, the people gathered themselves together unto Aaron, and said unto him, Up, make us gods, which shall go before us; for as for this Moses, the man that brought us up out of the land of Egypt, we wot not what is become of him.
Have you been here before? All your mates are married and it seems your spouse is delaying. Hasn’t he received you yet? What is she still doing on the mountain?
I heard a story sometime back when a guy was given a resounding slap after proposing to a lady. The lady was said to have wondered what took him so long.
In the passage above, the Israelites were frustrated that Moses delayed, so they sought other options. You too might be frustrated that your biological clock is ticking and no one is in view. My admonition to you is that you should not settle for other options. Don’t settle for a married fellow, a pervert, or an abusive person just in a bid to change your status.
In the New Testament, some people also experienced delays as the bridegroom decided to take his time.
Matt 25:5 KJV While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.
Some people have actually given up on the possibility of getting married to their God-ordained spouse. Some people have slumbered and slept off in the process of waiting.
In some cases, the delay is caused by the people involved. In other cases, the delay is from the bridegroom. Whichever case you fall into, there is something you can do rather than resign to fate.
Matt 9:15 KJV And Jesus said unto them, Can the children of the bridechamber mourn, as long as the bridegroom is with them? but the days will come, when the bridegroom shall be taken from them, and then shall they fast.
Yes, fast and pray. When it looks like you’ve done all you know how to do, yet your spouse is not forthcoming, you go into fasting. Why fast?
God will not just create your spouse the moment you begin fasting. Fasting will not change God either. It will humble your soul. It will discipline your flesh. If you are sincere with it, God begins to show you areas you need to work on. God begins to open your eyes. Your spirit man comes alive. You get downloads straight from above. You suddenly realize your partner has been hanging around ever since.
So what are some of the things I think you should know before you march down that altar to say ‘I DO’?
1. Marriage is a Covenant
“Yet you ask, Why does He reject it? Because the Lord was witness [to the COVENANT MADE AT YOUR MARRIAGE] between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously and to whom you were faithless. Yet she is your companion and the WIFE OF YOUR COVENANT [made by your marriage vows].” Malachi 2:14 AMPC
Did you see that?
Marriage is not just something that is carnal or merely physical… marriage is deeply spiritual and a serious business, with serious implications.
So the first thing you must understand about marriage is that marriage is a covenant!
Having this understanding will give you some ‘sense’ so that you don’t just handle your marriage matter, ranging from the choice of a marriage partner to the marriage itself, with a light hand.
You understand that you’re entering into a covenant with anyone you marry, so you can’t afford to just marry any Tom, Jerry, or Jeff that comes your way! Or any Cinderella, Queenette, or Jessica that comes along your path! You choose wisely, by the Spirit.
Why?
Because you know you’re entering a covenant!
Having this understanding will even help prepare your heart way ahead of your marriage to remain faithful (in thought, word, and action) to your partner. So you start knowing that infidelity is not an option… like your heart gets locked on the matter way before you start your marriage.
Listen. You don’t prepare for battle in the midst of battle! What majorly keeps us in the face of battle are the preparations we made before that battle!
So pondering on these things right now, before you ‘I DO’, will help give you the right posture to have a successful marriage when YOU DO.
Can you talk to yourself now? Say:
“Ogbonnaya (of course you put your name there), marriage is a covenant! You have to be deliberate about it.”
Everyone is looking for where the grass is greener. And subtly, somewhere in our minds, we keep our eyes on other people’s lands. But remember the 10th commandment?
“Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s house, thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s wife, nor his manservant, nor his maidservant, nor his ox, nor his ass, nor any thing that is thy neighbour’s.” Exodus 20:17 [KJV]
It’s easy to look at other relationships and think they have it better. Whether single or married, the temptation to keep looking at other people’s lives, believing that something “better” is out there, can creep in. But the truth actually is:
The grass isn’t greener on the other side; it’s greener where you water it.
For singles, social media can make it seem like everyone else is in a perfect relationship, while you wait. And you may start thinking, “Am I a spoon?” But don’t let comparison push you into desperation. Rushing into the wrong relationship because you feel left out can lead to heartbreak. Instead of searching desperately for the “greener grass” of a change of relationship status, focus on making yourself greener—growing yourself emotionally, spiritually, and mentally—so that when the right person comes, you’re ready.
For married couples, it’s easy to become dissatisfied when you start noticing flaws in your spouse. The excitement of the early days fades, and you might be tempted to think, “Maybe I married the wrong person.” Or worse still, you look at another marriage and begin to fall in love with another person’s spouse. But remember, we don’t fall in love like that, rather we fall in alignment with the angel of our destiny. (Laughs)
Every great marriage you admire was built—not found. Instead of looking outside, invest in what you already have. Communicate, forgive, appreciate, and keep nurturing your love.
Dear couples, let me even add another thought for you to ponder: the grass always looks greener on the other side until you come close. That person you’re now lusting after, whether subtly or overtly, has flaws too—maybe even greater than those of your spouse. The difference is that you’re close to your spouse but far from the person—so you see all your spouse’s flaws and not one of the other person’s. It’s easy to admire a person from afar, but when you come close, you find that there are flaws.
Listen, don’t destroy your marriage thinking the grass is greener elsewhere. Fight that distraction destroying your marriage. Stop looking at another man or woman. Focus on your spouse. Stop comparing. Focus on your marriage. Make it work.
Finally, dear singles and married, the devil thrives on making us believe that joy is always somewhere else. But true fulfillment comes from gratitude, contentment, and commitment. So, be grateful and content with where you are and what you have. And learn to water the grass in front of you—that’s where the greener grass is.
There are different stages of life that man may experience a wait. This wait could be for a job, a spouse, the fruit of the womb, a breakthrough, relocation, or an answered prayer.
The in-between season is never easy, it can be frustrating and uncertain. But in God’s kingdom, waiting is never wasted.
One thing you have to understand first is that your journey is different. Do not let comparisons or complaints enter your conversation with God or man.
The likes of Abraham, Joseph, Hannah, Moses, David, etc… experienced waiting seasons, so yours isn’t the first.
Meanwhile, the waiting season is not just about patience, it’s about preparation, transformation, and deep trust in God.
Below are four ways to maximize your waiting season:
1. Seek God Intentionally
The waiting season is the perfect time to draw closer to God. This season is to deepen your prayer life and meditate on His Word. The Bible says in Lamentations 3:25, The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.” Instead of complaining, cultivate a heart that seeks God daily.
2. Develop Yourself
While you wait, invest in personal growth. Learn new skills, read, and become the best version of yourself. Isaiah 40:31a says “But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength…” This means waiting is not passive. It’s a time of renewal and preparation.
3. Serve Faithfully
Your waiting season can be a time of impact and blessing. So, engage in service to God and others. When Joseph was in prison, he didn’t waste his time, he served and interpreted dreams. This ultimately led to his elevation in Genesis 41:14.
4. Hold onto Faith
Waiting often comes with doubts, but remind yourself that God’s timing is perfect. Habakkuk 2:3 says, “Though it tarries, wait for it; because it will surely come.” Have a strong belief that God is aligning things in His divine way.
Waiting season isn’t punishment, it’s preparation. So, embrace the process, trust God’s timing, and use this season wisely.
Affirm with me: Every waiting is working for my good! (Romans 8:28).
Marriage is a beautiful journey, but it also brings its own unique set of experiences and lessons that singles might not fully comprehend until they embark on their own path. While being single provides freedom and opportunities for personal growth, married life introduces new dimensions of love, sacrifice, and collaboration. Here are five things couples may be aware of that singles might not yet fully grasp:
1. The Beauty (and Challenge) of Compromise In marriage, two people become one, which means learning to give and take on everything from chores to where to go on vacation. Singles can make decisions all by themselves, but in a relationship, both partners have to think about each other’s needs and wants. This can be tough sometimes, but it also makes you and your partner closer and more united. Through compromise, couples grow together and learn how to put their goals first over their own wants.
2. The Depth of Emotional Intimacy
Singles can have deep friendships or romantic connections, but there’s something special about the emotional bond between spouses. Marriage takes a lot of vulnerability, trust, and being open with each other. Over time, this intimacy grows as couples share happy times, tough times, and even the little things that happen every day. It’s a level of closeness that really makes your heart and soul feel strong, because you both promise to love and support each other.
3. The Power of Grace and Forgiveness
Even if you’re head over heels in love with your partner, disagreements are bound to happen. What makes marriages truly special is the ability to show grace and forgiveness over and over again. Singles might find it easier to let go of grudges because their relationships aren’t as deeply connected. But in marriage, patience and mercy become superpowers that keep the peace and harmony flowing. As the Bible says in Ephesians 4:32, “Be kind and forgiving to each other, just as Christ forgave you.””
4. The Selfless Act of Marriage Marriage is a beautiful journey that teaches couples to prioritize each other. Whether it’s staying up late to comfort a loved one or giving up a hobby to spend quality time together, selflessness becomes a natural part of their lives. For singles, life is all about personal goals, but marriage shifts the focus toward serving and supporting another person. This act of surrender is a powerful reminder of Christ’s example of sacrificial love.
5. The Joy of Building a Legacy Together Marriage is a beautiful journey of creating a legacy together. It’s not just about building a family, a home, and a community, but about creating something meaningful that stands the test of time. From raising our little ones to serving others, we find immense joy in co-creating God’s plan for our lives. And let’s not forget the dreamers out there! While they may dream of this future, married couples live it every day, knowing they’re part of something extraordinary.
Singleness has its perks, but marriage is like a treasure trove of experiences that mold your character, strengthen your faith, and show you how God meant for us to connect. Both life stages have their ups and downs, but marriage shows you the true meaning of love, the sacrifices we make, and the beauty of unity that only those who’ve been on this journey can truly appreciate.
Valentine’s day has come and gone. Some people are smiling, some others are still wailing. Some people received multiple gifts, while others waited till midnight, yet got no gift. Now, you know exactly where you stand.
Some people had their innocence taken away, while some gave it out cheaply. Now that the adrenaline rush is over, and you are back to reality, let us talk.
Now is the time to take an inventory of whatever happened to you on Valentine’s Day, and make some decsisions.
If you feel you messed up, don’t stay there. Don’t sit down, sulk, and cry over what has happened.
Hos 6:1 [NIV] Come, let us return to the Lord. He has torn us to pieces but he will heal us; he has injured us but he will bind up our wounds.
Rise up from your pain and regret. It is not the end of the world. Mistakes have been made, but they do not define you. What defines you is what you choose to do next. Rather than sit in self-pity, rise, learn, and move forward.
For those who feel used, unappreciated, or broken, take a step back and reflect. What led you to this point? Were you too trusting? Did you ignore the red flags, I am sure they were there. You must answer these questions to prevent a repetition of what just happened.
For those who had a wonderful Valentine’s Day, filled with love, gifts, and attention -be grateful. However, do not let one day of affection blind you to the reality of your relationship. Is your relationship built on a firm foundation? Will the love last beyond the chocolates and roses? Feelings are fickle, they do not last, so ensure your love is rooted in something deeper and more meaningful – in Christ.
No matter what your Valentine’s Day looked like, today is a new day. Pick yourself up. Make wiser choices. Seek healing, and most importantly, like the prodigal son, return to the One who loves you unconditionally. His love is not seasonal, it does not waver, and it will never leave you empty.
In the journey of life, whether you’re single or in a relationship, it’s easy to get caught up in our own desires and expectations.
We often find ourselves asking, “What do I want?” But as followers of Christ, we must also ask, “What does God want for me?”
The difference between these two perspectives can shape the direction of our lives, relationships, and spiritual growth.
For singles, there may be moments when loneliness feels overwhelming, leading to impatience or even compromise. You might think, if only I had someone now, or why isn’t God moving faster? Yet, God’s timing is perfect, even if it doesn’t align with ours.
Proverbs 3:5-6 “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
When we surrender our plans to Him, He uses those seasons of waiting to refine us, deepen our faith, and prepare us for His best.
Couples, too, face challenges where personal desires conflict with divine will. Perhaps one spouse prioritizes career over family time, or both partners struggle to agree on major decisions like finances or children. In such cases, seeking God’s guidance becomes essential.
Ephesians 5:21 encourages mutual submission out of reverence for Christ. This means putting aside selfish ambitions and choosing instead to honor God through love and selflessness in marriage.
Ultimately, what God wants transcends fleeting pleasures or temporary satisfaction. He desires intimacy—both with Him and within our relationships.
For singles, this means cultivating a deeper walk with Christ during times of solitude.
For couples, it involves nurturing unity rooted in a shared devotion to God. By aligning our hearts with His purpose, we experience lasting joy and fulfillment that worldly pursuits can not provide.
So today, take a moment to reflect: Are my choices reflecting what I want or what God wants?
Let us pray for discernment, patience, and trust in His sovereign plan. As we yield our wills to Him, He promises blessings far greater than anything we could dream for ourselves.
In our journey through life, relationships are one of God’s greatest gifts. Whether you’re single or married, every relationship—whether romantic, platonic, or familial—has the potential to either build us up or tear us down. Today, let’s reflect on how we can recognize toxic relationships and seek God’s wisdom to navigate them.
The Danger of Toxicity
A toxic relationship is one that drains your emotional energy, undermines your self-worth, or leads you away from God’s best for your life. It may not always be obvious at first, but over time, these relationships can cause deep wounds if left unaddressed. As followers of Christ, it’s crucial that we discern between healthy and unhealthy dynamics so we can honor God with our interactions.
Signs of a Toxic Relationship
Here are some common warning signs to watch out for:
Control and Manipulation: Does this person try to control your decisions, isolate you from others, or manipulate you into doing things against your will? Healthy relationships respect boundaries and encourage mutual growth.
Reflection: Are there areas where I feel pressured or controlled? Am I allowing someone else to dictate my choices instead of seeking God’s guidance?
Lack of Respect: Is respect absent in words or actions? Name-calling, belittling, or dismissing your feelings are red flags. True love honors and values each other as equals created in God’s image.
Reflection: Do I treat others with dignity and kindness, even when disagreements arise? Do they do the same for me?
Emotional Unavailability: A partner who consistently avoids vulnerability, refuses accountability, or shows no interest in understanding your needs creates an imbalance. Communication should foster connection, not distance.
Reflection: Am I being heard and understood? Am I listening attentively to their heart?
Spiritual Disconnection: If a relationship pulls you away from God or discourages spiritual growth, it’s important to evaluate its impact. Our faith must always remain central because it defines who we are in Christ.
Reflection: Does this relationship draw me closer to God or further away? Am I prioritizing my walk with Him above all else?
Abuse – Physical, Emotional, or Verbal: Any form of abuse is never acceptable. If you experience harm, seek help immediately. You deserve safety and peace.
Reflection: Have I ever felt unsafe or threatened? If so, have I taken steps to protect myself and reach out for support?
God’s Heart for Us
Jesus modeled perfect love by laying down His life for us (John 15:13).
Jhn 15:13 (KJV) Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends.
His example teaches us what true love looks like—it gives freely, serves sacrificially, and seeks the highest good for others. When we encounter toxicity, whether in ourselves or others, we must remember that transformation begins with repentance and reliance on God.
Steps Toward Healing
If you identify toxicity in your relationship, here’s what you can do:
Pray About It: Bring everything before the Lord. Ask Him for clarity, strength, and courage to make wise decisions.
Set Boundaries: Protect your mental, emotional, and spiritual health by setting clear boundaries. This might mean stepping back temporarily or permanently.
Seek Counsel: Talk to trusted friends, mentors, or pastors about your situation. Professional counseling can also provide valuable insights.
Choose Forgiveness: If possible, extend grace and forgiveness without condoning harmful behavior. Remember, forgiveness doesn’t mean staying in a harmful situation; it means releasing bitterness to God.
Trust God’s Timing: Let go of fear and trust that God has something better planned for you. He promises restoration and redemption (Jeremiah 29:11).
Singles
For those who are single, know that waiting on God’s timing is an act of faith. Don’t settle for less than His best. Instead, focus on growing spiritually, emotionally, and mentally during this season. Pray that God would prepare both your heart and the hearts of those around you for meaningful, godly relationships.
Couples
For couples, remember that marriage requires constant effort and communication. Be intentional about nurturing your relationship with God together. Lean on Scripture, prayer, and community to strengthen your bond and overcome challenges.
Waiting is never easy. Whether you’re waiting for a job, a breakthrough, the right person, or even clarity on what to do next, it can feel really exhausting. You pray, hope, and wonder when things will finally change. But here’s the truth: God’s goodness isn’t on pause just because you’re in a waiting season. He didn’t bring you this far to just leave you, you are never alone, He’s still with you. He is just as faithful in the process as He is in the promise.
Lamentations 3:25 – The Lord is good to those who wait for Him, to the soul who seeks Him.
If you’re single and waiting for the right person, it’s easy to feel discouraged, wonder if God sees your desire, or even be tempted to compromise. In this season, the waiting can feel endless and uncertain. But your waiting isn’t wasted. It’s the place where God is shaping you, preparing you, and strengthening your trust in Him. What may feel like a delay is often His way of protecting you or getting you ready for something far better than you can imagine.
The truth is, you can’t rush God’s timing.
Though it may tarry, wait for it; because it will surely come, it will not delay. Habakkuk 2:3.
If it’s not the appointed time, no amount of force will make it happen, but when the time is right, nothing can stop it. As Isaiah 60:22 says, “I am the Lord; in its time I will do this swiftly.”
So don’t give up in the waiting. Don’t force what isn’t ready. Keep trusting, keep growing, and keep believing because when God moves, it will be worth every moment you waited and more!
Valentine’s Day is here again—the season of red roses, candlelit dinners, and grand romantic gestures. Everywhere you turn, social media is flooded with sweet messages, couples showing off their love, singles showing off their bae/boo, and businesses selling the idea that love must be proved with expensive gifts and intimate moments. But here’s my candid advice for you—something to chew on even before the day goes far.
What is true love? This is the question that should stay in your heart throughout today. Judge everything that comes your way with this question.
Many [young] people feel pressure on this day—pressure to be in a relationship, to impress, and, most sadly, to compromise their values. The world has painted a picture that love must be expressed through physical intimacy—and we are buying it, simply because we want to “belong” to the world—but God’s Word tells us otherwise.
The Bible tells us what True love truly is. True love is patient. True love honors. True love waits.
Any acclaimed love that buys you a gift and wants to unwrap you as you unwrap the gift is not true love. A straight warning here: Don’t carry yourself and go to places where it’s easy to compromise—his house, her house, lowly lit joints, etc. I saw a post recently by a pastor that made sense to me. He said that it is those who go close to a pit that have a greater tendency to fall in!
The Bible is clear: Flee from sexual immorality (1 Corinthians 6:18). It doesn’t say “walk” or “resist”—it says flee! Why? Because sexual sin is not just another mistake; it affects your body, soul, and relationship with God.
Don’t go to strange places. Be overly careful, because the demon of lust will be operating strongly today, and compromising will be easier. So, take my advice, whether single or married: flee from every appearance of evil.
If you’re single, don’t let loneliness push you into something you’ll regret. If you’re in a relationship, don’t let the expectations of the world override God’s standards. If you’re married, what exactly are you looking for with that man/woman that is not your spouse? Why those chats? Why that expectation/desire in your heart this Valentine’s Day? Like, why? Kill it now! It will burn you!
Singles and couples, our strength to say no to nonsense comes from staying rooted in God’s Word and surrounding ourselves with godly friends. Find a church program and attend this evening, and after service, go home—go home with no one! Unless you’re married, then go home with your spouse.
Dear singles, remember that your worth is not in a relationship status but in Christ. Don’t be pressured today. This Valentine’s Day, choose to celebrate love the right way—pure, honorable, and pleasing to God. Instead of falling for worldly pressure, why not show love in a way that truly matters? Serve, encourage, and remind others of the greatest love of all: God’s unfailing love for us. Preach the love of Jesus to someone today!
God’s love is the foundation of our faith. It is not just an abstract concept but a reality that He constantly reveals in our lives.
His love is evident in everything He does because love is an action word.
John 3:16 For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten son that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have everlasting life.
The love of God comes with actions each time He expresses it to us. He’s so intentional about you and I that He gave us dominion and access through His son (Jesus Christ) whom He made our advocate.
How does God demonstrate His love for His children?
God demonstrates His love for His children in many ways, and the Bible is full of examples of His deep and unchanging love through:
1. Jesus Christ’s Sacrifice
God’s greatest demonstration of love is sending Jesus to die for our sins. Jesus Christ is His only begotten son and the second in trinity yet He gave Him out for the atonement of our sins. (Romans 5:8)
2. Adoption after Redemption
After the redemption Jesus Christ brought to us, we were now called sons and daughters of God which is an incredible access to God. God doesn’t just love us, He adopts us into His family.
1 John 3:1 See what great love the Father has lavished on us, that we should be called children of God! And that is what we are.
The day we give our life to Christ is the signage of our adoption.
3. Provision for our Needs
God cares about every detail of our lives, including our daily needs. The word of God says, “Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” (1 Peter 5:7) He is ever ready to show up for us in time of need. All that we need is to ask so we can receive from Him.
In conclusion, no matter where you are in life, single or married, employed or unemployed, trust in His love, it is always present, always faithful, and always enough.
As Valentine’s Day approaches, the world often glorifies romantic love with images of passion, intimacy, and physical attraction. While celebrating love is beautiful, Christians must remain vigilant against the pitfalls of lust and sexual temptation that can overshadow God’s design for relationships.
This day can become a minefield for those who are single or in relationships but lack biblical boundaries. However, with prayerful preparation and reliance on God’s strength, we can navigate this season with purity and integrity.
The Bible warns us about the dangers of lust in passages like Matthew 5:28, where Jesus says, “But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.”
These words challenge us to guard our hearts and minds from wandering into areas that dishonor God and ourselves. On Valentine’s Day, when society emphasizes physical affection and romantic gestures, it’s crucial to remember that true love aligns with God’s will—it prioritizes respect, self-control, and commitment.
To protect yourself during this time, start by setting clear boundaries. If you’re single, avoid placing yourself in situations that could lead to temptation. Surround yourself with accountability partners who encourage you to stay focused on God’s plan for your life. For those in relationships, communicate openly with your partner about what honors God and establish mutual expectations for how you’ll celebrate Valentine’s Day without crossing inappropriate lines.
Additionally, fill your mind with godly thoughts. Philippians 4:8 reminds us, “Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely—think about such things.” Replace worldly narratives about love and sex with the truth found in Scripture.
Meditate on verses like Song of Solomon, which celebrates marital intimacy within the context of covenantal love, or Ephesians 5:25, where husbands are called to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
Lastly, lean heavily on prayer. Ask God to strengthen your resolve and give you the wisdom to resist temptation. Remember, He provides a way out of every trial (1 Corinthians 10:13) and desires for you to experience freedom from sin.
This Valentine’s Day, let your love reflect God’s holiness and purpose. By guarding your heart and mind, you honor Him and prepare yourself for the kind of love He intends—for eternity.
The Bible warns us not to conform for a reason—it’s because conforming is easier. The pressure to fit in is constant. There’s pressure to get married, have kids, build a career, start a business, travel the world, and so on.
But God has given us a way out: the renewal of our minds.
Romans 12:2 (AMP) And do not be conformed to this world [any longer with its superficial values and customs], but be transformed and progressively changed [as you mature spiritually] by the renewing of your mind [focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect [in His plan and purpose for you].
One of the key ways to experience transformation is by growing spiritually. If you’re still struggling with the basics—fasting, tithing, praying, meditating—how will you stand firm when the pressure comes?
Spiritual maturity doesn’t happen overnight, but it’s a journey worth taking. The more you grow in your walk with God, the less pressure the world will have over you. Instead of being swayed by expectations, you’ll stand firm in God’s will for your life.
Battles are won through strategies. No military man would go to war without a strategy in mind. Things may change on the battlefield, but he would never go there with a blank mind.
Joshua had a strategy.
Jos 7:2-3 [NIV] Now Joshua sent men from Jericho to Ai, which is near Beth Aven to the east of Bethel, and told them, “Go up and spy out the region.” So the men went up and spied out Ai. When they returned to Joshua, they said, “Not all the army will have to go up against Ai. Send two or three thousand men to take it and do not weary the whole army, for only a few people live there.”
Gideon had one too.
Jud 7:17-18 [NIV] “Watch me,” he told them. “Follow my lead. When I get to the edge of the camp, do exactly as I do. When I and all who are with me blow our trumpets, then from all around the camp blow yours and shout, ‘For the Lord and for Gideon.’”
David, Samson, and every other war veteran in the bible had a strategy they used.
Strategies are meant to be improved over time. You don’t stick to the same old plan you’ve been using. Even if it works for you, there is always room for improvement.
You’ve approached that marriage with the same strategy for years. Yes, you might have had some results, but there are still more grounds to conquer.
You’ve approached that ‘babe’ with the same game plan over the years. This Valentine’s Day, why don’t you change your strategy?
That business hasn’t yielded as expected. It’s time to try something new.
The Israelites had a winning strategy I would love to recommend to us this morning. It can be applied anywhere – business, family, career, finance, and so on.
Jdg 20:18 [ERV] And the children of Israel arose, and went up to Beth-el, and asked counsel of God; and they said, Who shall go up for us first to battle against the children of Benjamin? And the LORD said, Judah shall go up first.
In all you do, let praise take the lead. I know you are a prayer warrior. I know you are a master strategist, with a doctorate in strategic planning. Let Judah go up first. Read through the scriptures, anywhere they applied this strategy, it worked.
Ps 149:6 [CEV] Praise God with songs on your lips and a sword in your hand.
When you allow praise to take the lead, it translates to a sword in your hand.
By now we all know the scripture God gave us and are standing on it for manifestation. The little we know is all that is needed.
While meditating on this scripture, the Holy Spirit told me that this scripture also relates to the family.
Isa 60:22 (KJV) A little one shall become a thousand and a small one a strong nation: I the Lord will hasten it in his time
When we become truly united in the family, ‘our little’ becomes a thousand. God has designed it so that our interdependence with each other will produce far more than our individual effort, grace, anointing, strength, influence, and productivity.
In God’s arithmetic of marriage, one plus one never equals two. One Plus one equals three. It goes on and on until our one plus one equals ten and multiples of ten. It will always start with the little – husband and wife.
When husbands and wives walk in unity, bringing their unique ideas, graces, and anointing to the table, we don’t have a better idea, we have a completely new idea that is better than either the husband’s or wife’s initial idea.
Unity is not just sameness but complementary. You don’t have to be the same but complement one another. That’s humility and preferring one another to ourselves.
This is the atmosphere for thriving, blossoming, and flourishing. There is a powerful principle in the book Seven Habits of Highly Effective People. That’s the power of effective listening, first seek to hear before you are heard.
Effective listening brings unity which is necessary for us if our little is going to become a thousand.
Let’s work towards agreement in our marriages. The devil will challenge our agreement and unity. We should be wiser than the devil and not let go of the unity in our marriage. Our fight should be against the devil, for ourselves to defend ourselves.
How beautiful would it be if all marriages could strive and work at attaining this stage where they truly become a thousand?
Great victory will be won for the kingdom of God and great disaster done to the devil’s kingdom.
