The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage

The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage

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The Secret Sauce – Apostle Arome’s 14 Keys To A Lasting Marriage

Finding Agreement in Marriage

Marriage was designed by God to be a covenant of exclusivity and intimacy between a man and a woman. A lasting marriage is God´s will. However, many couples struggle to find agreement and live in peace. In this article, we will discuss the root causes of unfaithfulness in a marriage, based on the message shared by Apostle Arome. By understanding these causes and applying the biblical principles outlined, couples can build a strong foundation for an enduring marriage of agreement.

What Are the Causes of Unfaithfulness in Marriage?

1. Soul Ties and Their Implications.

According to Apostle Arome, soul ties are spiritual connections formed when a person becomes intimate with another person through sexual relations or prolonged emotional attachment. Apostle Arome shares that soul ties act as “pathways” that allow demons to traffic between people and oppress or manipulate them.

A common way soul ties are formed is through pre-marital sexual relationships. The pastor explained that these relationships leave a person in a “vicious circle of connection” to former partners that can negatively impact their current marriage. Demons and spiritual problems can be transferred through this soul tie “highways.”

2. Lack of a Regulator in Marriage.

A regulator for the marriage is one of the keys to a lasting marriage. Apostle Arome used the analogy of an electric fan without a thermostat to illustrate what happens when a marriage lacks a “regulator.” Just as an uncontrolled fan could cause harm, an unregulated marriage where both partners do not submit to God’s authority is at risk of “crashing.”

When unbelievers marry without acknowledging God, there is no spiritual “regulator” to keep the relationship balanced. While they may live together, they are truly just “cohabiting” rather than in a covenant marriage as designed by God. This leaves the relationship vulnerable to demonic interference through unaddressed soul ties and other openings.

3. How Do You Prevent Unfaithfulness?

The first way to prevent unfaithfulness is to commit to God’s Regulations for Marriage.

For a marriage to be protected from unfaithfulness, both partners must commit their relationship fully to God as the supreme authority and regulator. They should see marriage as a blood covenant instituted by God, not just a legal contract. By willingly submitting to God’s regulations on marriage in the Bible, such as mutual exclusivity and intimacy only with each other, couples place themselves under God’s covering and protection.

keys to a lasting marriage

4. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Accountability and Transparency with Each Other.

The pastor emphasized the importance of accountability between spouses. If one feels attracted to someone else, they should openly tell their partner instead of hiding it. Regular communication and transparency about thoughts and feelings can help address issues before they escalate. It also prevents the devil from taking advantage of cracks in the relationship.

5. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Working Through Misunderstandings with Understanding.

The testimony shared revealed how a disagreement led to a loss of attraction between the couple. Apostle Arome counseled resolving issues through understanding instead of driving one’s spouse away. During challenging times like pregnancy, husbands must learn their wife’s changing needs with patience. With open communication and a willingness to understand each other, misunderstandings need not lead to unfaithfulness.

6. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Identifying and Breaking Soul Ties.

Apostle Arome emphasized that deliverance must be deliberately sought to break soul ties formed in the past through pre-marital relationships. One must write down the names of all former sexual partners and repent fully of those acts. Breaking the associated soul ties requires calling on God to sever the spiritual connections.

7. Another way to prevent unfaithfulness is Fasting and Prayer for Complete Deliverance.

Complete deliverance from past soul ties and their effects may require an extended period of fasting and prayer. Apostle Arome noted it can take up to nine months of consistently rejecting demonic suggestions and images that surface.

But with persistence, one can be fully freed from the oppression of the past through God’s power. The fast also helps destroy appetites of the flesh that open doors to unfaithfulness. We will stop here today and continue with part 2 tomorrow!

11 Marriages That Must Not Take Place By Dr. D.K Olukoya

11 Marriages That Must Not Take Place By Dr. D.K Olukoya

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11 Marriages That Must Not Take Place By Dr. D.K Olukoya


I agree that wrong marriages can seriously damage our lives and futures. In this post, I will discuss Dr. Olukoya’s guidelines on 40 types of marriages that must be avoided. By learning to identify and steer clear of such unions, we can protect ourselves from unnecessary hardship. I will explore each kind of problematic marriage and explain why it should not take place.

Number 1. Fast food marriages.

Fast food marriages are based solely on physical attraction and lustful desires, rather than true love and compatibility. When the initial infatuation fades, as it always does, the relationship collapses. Marrying for looks or sexual chemistry alone is a recipe for divorce once those surface-level attractions disappear.

Number 2. Serpent in the pocket marriages.

A “serpent in the pocket” marriage is one where one spouse hides their real character flaws and intentions until after the wedding. Once committed, the deceptive person’s true colors emerge, often in a toxic manner that poisons the relationship. Founding a marriage on deception lays the groundwork for major betrayal and breach of trust down the road.

Number 3. Marrying the enemy.

Marrying someone you perceive as an enemy or competitor is asking for trouble. Unresolved negative feelings like dislike, mistrust, or a history of conflict do not make for a solid foundation for marriage. Even minor disagreements can easily escalate when underlying enmity exists. It is usually best to maintain distance from adversaries rather than legally binding yourself to them through marriage. Trying to change an enemy into a spouse often backfires.

Number 4. Marrying late in life hastily.

Those marrying later in life after previous relationships have ended may feel lonely or pressured to settle down quickly. However, rushing into marriage without properly evaluating the partner’s character can be imprudent. When loneliness or deadlines override good judgment, marriages entered into hastily tend to end in regret. It is wise not to compromise the standards of a compatible life partner just to avoid singleness. Taking the time to know someone fully is critical for long-term success.

Number 5. Half and half marriages.

Half-and-half marriages combine two incompatible halves that are doomed to clash. This occurs when partners of different faiths, cultures, or backgrounds enter marriage with unresolved differences. Over time, disagreements over issues like religion, in-laws, or child-rearing tend to intensify rather than diminish tension. For lasting peace, spouses must be fully united.

Number 6. Red Cross Society marriages.

Red Cross Society marriages refer to unions formed due to accidental pregnancy before marriage. While having a child does require responsibility, rushing to marry the other parent does not guarantee the couple is ready or suited to building a healthy family together long-term. Careful discernment is still needed.

Number 7. Demonic consultation marriages.

Demonic consultation marriages were explained as occurring when a partner seeks guidance from occult forces like astrology, witch doctors, or other ungodly sources rather than relying on God’s will. Putting faith in spiritual powers runs contrary to biblical teaching and exposes the marriage to harmful manipulation and control from demonic entities. God alone should direct our paths.

Number 8. Witchcraft marriages.

Witchcraft marriages are those involving spouses with a background or family history steeped in witchcraft, idolatry, or other demonic practices. Such spiritual baggage has toxic consequences, as the marriage itself may become a battleground for conflicting spiritual influences and ideologies that undermine harmony.

Number 9. Syringe marriages.

Syringe marriages occur when a partner has a history of drug abuse or addiction. Substance issues often stem from deeper problems, and getting clean is a long process even after rehab. Marrying an unreformed addict risks exposing yourself and any future children to harm from relapses or associated unhealthy behaviors. Stability must be established first before committing to such a union.

Number 10. Diabetes marriages.

Diabetes marriages involve partners with uncontrolled medical conditions like diabetes that require intensive management. The strain of caring for an ill spouse’s needs can drain both physical and emotional resources from the relationship. Health must be reasonably stable to ensure both spouses’ well-being and ability to fulfill their roles before marriage

Number 11. Marrying out of pity.

Marrying out of pity rather than genuine love or compatibility is unfair to both partners. Pity seeks to fulfill an ego need to help someone, but true care requires considering the other person’s long-term well-being and ensuring the relationship is healthy for both sides. Otherwise, it risks becoming a crutch rather than a partnership.

In conclusion, while the heart wants what it wants, marriage is not merely an emotional affair but a serious life commitment. Entering without fully considering factors like spirituality, values, health, background, and long-term goals nearly guarantees problems down the road. Rather than acting on fleeting feelings or circumstances, take time to carefully discern true compatibility in all areas before making a vow. Building on a firm foundation of mutual understanding and agreement increases the chances of a stable, fruitful union.

Top 56 Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer – Part 2

Top 56 Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer – Part 2

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Top 56 Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer – Part 2

The Marriage of Dave and Joyce Meyer has been for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.

Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some Valuable Lessons from The 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer. This is Part 2. Read Part 1 Here.

Forgiving Quickly to Avoid Strife.

29. Satan wants strife but God wants peace. Joyce shares how realizing this, and refusing to get offended has helped. Forgiving and letting things go is key to avoiding discord.

30. Joyce and Dave warn against expecting overnight fixes. Trials often intensify before peace emerges, so persevering shows faith in God’s unseen hand at work.

31. The key is learning to accommodate each other. For example, while Dave may think Joyce’s processing style is “just wasted breath,” refraining from dismissive comments and listening respectfully goes a long way. Likewise, Joyce can try viewing situations from her husband’s logical perspective, even if she needs further discussion.

32. With patience and compromise, couples can diffuse tensions simply by acknowledging how their brains work differently.

33. Holding onto offenses is one of the surest ways to damage a marriage.

34. Joyce shared how she struggled with this early in her relationship with Dave but realized harboring resentment only benefits the devil.

35. The sooner spouses forgive small slights and absorb the word of love from First Corinthians 13, the smoother their union will go. “Love keeps no record of wrongs” is a radical concept in relationships but brings tremendous peace when applied.

36. Forgiveness also requires making a daily choice not to dwell on past hurts.

37. As Joyce said, the more one ruminates on offenses, the deeper the roots of bitterness take hold. But nipping issues in the bud through quick forgiveness keeps relationships clean and harmony intact. This helped the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer a lot.

38. With practice, this can become second nature for even the most sensitive partners. Remember – it’s not about condoning bad actions but releasing the right to retaliate so love can reign free.

Seeing the Best in Each Other.

39. Dave lets Joyce be herself fully. Joyce has learned to see Dave’s logic as balancing her emotions, not opposing her. They’ve found humor in each other instead of aggravation.

Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer

40. Beyond communication gaps, every couple has their endearing idiosyncrasies that can push buttons if left unchecked. The Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer indeed is a great inspiration across the world.

41. Joyce humorously pointed out little habits of Dave’s, like noisily eating cereal or purposefully banging dishes louder when irritated, that get under her skin. However, she realized God made them with these distinct traits intentionally, perhaps for their own amusement.

42. We must appreciate our spouses as whole individuals rather than demanding they change harmless peculiarities.

Prioritizing Safety in Toxic Situations

43. While God hates divorce, abuse is never okay. If danger exists, safety comes first by distancing oneself until help is found. Otherwise, prayer and God’s guidance are vital.

44. While the above advice focuses on minor marital tensions, dangerously toxic relationships require a different approach to prioritizing safety.

45. Joyce rightly cautioned those in abusive situations to remove themselves and children from harm’s way, as God never intended endangerment. Additionally, prayerfully considering counseling or legal protection may become necessary steps of wisdom.

46. The role of prayer cannot be overstated even in these dire circumstances.

47. Communing continuously with Christ brings His empowerment, perspective, and discernment for the next steps.

48. Rather than facing challenges alone in one’s strength, total reliance on God’s guidance through Scripture and stillness lifts the heavy burden.

49. His perfect love casts out all fear as His plan and protection unfold. With His intervention, seemingly impossible problems dissolve. Love is a constant factor in the Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer.

Applying God’s Love.

50. Focusing on patience, kindness, and protecting the relationship helps. Seeing each other through God’s loving eyes transforms perspectives.

51. His Word shows us how to think of our spouse and ourselves.

52. Joyce emphasized consistently seeking God first in all matters, from minor annoyances to profound crises.

53. His love far surpasses any human love and fills what is lacking when spouses apply it through obedience, prayer, and wisdom

54. Together with Dave for decades, she stands as proof of the peace and joy available when Christ forms the foundation of a union.

55. With His help, couples can rise above natural tendencies to impatience, resentment, or control

56. In summarizing this discussion on marriage, the key lessons are to go into marriage with clear communication about expectations, to accept your spouse for who they are rather than trying to change them, and to rely on God’s wisdom in navigating disagreements and difficult seasons


While differences will arise, focusing on each other’s positive qualities and prioritizing individual responsibility for happiness can help strengthen the bond. With patience, compromise when needed, and a commitment to a lifelong partnership, a marriage has the potential to grow deeper in love and understanding over decades.

Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer

Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer

Joyce and Dave Meyer have been married for over 56 years. In their Video, Talk It Out, they share candidly about the highs and lows of their journey together. Joyce notes early on in their 5-date courtship, they didn’t truly know each other. Yet through divine intervention, they found themselves bonded for life.

Based on this conversation with celebrated life coach and bestselling author Joyce Meyer and her husband Dave, here are some invaluable insights on how to build a strong, God-honoring marriage.

1. Joyce and Dave Meyer discuss the ups and downs of their early marriage and how their thinking has changed over the years.

2. Dave knew marriage was forever so he never thought about changing Joyce or leaving if things didn’t improve.

3. They had to learn about each other through experiences and God helped Dave deal with difficult situations. Over decades, Joyce and Dave Meyer learned to accept each other fully as God designed.

4. Dave applies relevant scriptures like Ephesians 5:28 to situations rather than dwelling on problems.

5. Joyce explains she came from a difficult childhood which manifested in erratic, emotionally volatile behaviors in their first years of marriage. She recalls giving Dave the silent treatment for weeks at a time when upset.

6. Dave remained steadfast, understanding where Joyce’s hurt originated while navigating ups and downs to learn about her. He displayed remarkable strength and commitment to their vows.

Common Mistakes in Marriage.

7. Trying to change your spouse instead of letting them be who they are. Realizing their unique qualities complement one another affirms God’s plan for oneness in marriage.

8. Joyce acknowledges trying to change Dave was misguided since transformation must come from within.

9. From the start, Dave viewed marriage as permanent, avoiding the “threat” mindset some have of changing or divorcing a spouse.

10. Focusing on what’s wrong with your spouse instead of what’s right is a common mistake.

11. Thinking you have to be happy for your spouse to be happy instead of each being responsible for their own happiness.

Handling Differences of Opinion.

12. It’s normal to have different opinions and likes in a marriage.

13. Compromise by allowing each person to decorate their own space.

14. It’s okay to disagree as long as you don’t think your spouse is wrong for having a different view.

15. Joyce recommends couples make a side-by-side list of each other’s positive and negative traits. For her and Dave, the good vastly outweighed the bad. By shifting mental focus to a spouse’s virtues, small flaws seem insignificant.

Dealing with Financial Disagreements.

16. Joyce and Dave Meyer advised that you talk through finances and goals before marriage to avoid surprises.

Joyce and Dave Meyer

17. Needs can change over time so revisit financial agreements.

18. Understand each other’s perspectives and fears around money.

Dave’s Experience with Saving Money as a Youth.

19. Dave shares how he learned the value of saving money from a young age. He explains how at 16 years old, he saved one thousand dollars cutting grass and selling items to buy his first car.

20. Dave emphasizes the importance of prioritizing spending money on important goals.

Accepting Each Other as God Made Us.

21. Joyce and Dave Meyer are different. Dave is more logical while Joyce processes things verbally.

22. One frequent source of disagreement between spouses is having differing communication styles.

23. Joyce mentioned how she likes to verbally process situations by talking through all the angles, while Dave prefers a more direct, logical approach. It’s not that either way is wrong, but recognizing these distinctions is important. They’ve realized God made them this way and focusing on each other’s strengths has helped.

24. When Joyce was unhappy, Dave modeled finding joy regardless through stable faith.

25. As Christians, we are not to let others dictate our moods but lead by example. Joyce was inspired to mirror Dave’s contentment.

26. Misunderstandings often arise when partners don’t understand each other’s methods of thinking and reasoning through problems.

27. Surrender fully to God’s design for oneness. Appreciate differences as completing each other.

28. Apply biblical solutions in tough times, not human reasoning. Prioritize your spouse’s well-being through humility, patience, and consistent prayer.

We will continue with Part 2 of Top 56 Valuable Lessons from the 56-Year Marriage of Joyce and Dave Meyer tomorrow.

Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage with Dr. Becky Enenche

Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage with Dr. Becky Enenche

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Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage with Dr. Becky Enenche


If you want a successful marriage that stands the test of time, this article is for you. Many marriages struggle or fail because the vital roles of God, the husband, and the wife’s submission are not properly understood. In this piece, I will explain the secrets to rising to the top in marriage by exploring the God factor, the husband’s role, and what submission from the wife truly means.

The God Factor

It is no secret that God must be at the center of any marriage that hopes to thrive. God is the one who gives dignity and blessing to a marital relationship. He is the one who gives color and meaning to what marriage represents. Rising To The Top In Marriage Is possible with God.

The Bible tells us that “favor is deceitful and beauty is vain, but a woman who fears the Lord will be praised.” This shows us that the greatest quality a wife can have is the fear of God, and the same applies to the husband. When both partners put God first in their marriage, it lays the foundation for success. Here are Top 10 Secrets Of Rising To The Top In Marriage

1. God must be at the center.

The very first secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage is realization that God instituted the marriage institution, so He must be at the center for it to fulfill His purpose.

Why must we put God at the center?

a. Putting God at the center eliminates distrust that comes from defiled relationships. Premarital sex erodes love, trust, respect and leads to affairs.

b. God gives direction for the roles of the man and woman, so obeying His word on these roles helps the marriage.

c. A God-centered marriage receives blessings, dignity, and favor from above.

For Rising To The Top In Marriage to be realized, every husband and wife must ensure God is the number one priority in their home. Their relationship with Him must come before anything or anyone else.

Dr. Becky Enenche highlights that the man’s singular assignment as far as a successful marriage is concerned is to love his wife. This is rooted in Ephesians 5 verse 25 which instructs husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church. What a tall order that is! There are 5 key ways for a man to love his wife.

2. Be Patient:

Patience is another top secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage. As the weaker vessel, a wife needs patience, understanding, and accommodation from her husband. Rushing her or having unrealistic expectations will breed resentment.

3. Be Kind:

Rising To The Top In Marriage

This means taking care of her needs, being considerate of her feelings, opening doors, and generally making her feel cherished through actions.

4. Do Not Insist on Your Own Rights:

A loving husband will be willing to yield his rights or ways sometimes for the good of his wife and family unity.

5. Do Not Be Rude or Arrogant:

Speaking to one’s wife, especially in public, in a demeaning way destroys her dignity and the respect a husband is meant to command. Rising To The Top In Marriage cannot be realized if either spouse is rude and arrogant.

6. Praise Your Wife:

Loving words, compliments, and affirmations are like water for a wife’s soul. They help her to respect and cheerfully submit to her husband.

When a man fully embraces these 5 points, he sets himself and his wife up for success in marriage. But it is a two-way street – the wife also has a role to play.

A wife’s singular assignment in marriage is submission to her husband. This is rooted in Ephesians 5 verse 22 which instructs wives to submit to their husbands as to the Lord. Submission is often misunderstood in today’s society but is vital for a thriving marriage. Here are 4 key aspects of a wife’s biblical submission.

7. Depend on Your Husband:

Look to him for provision, protection, and leadership. This allows him to fulfill his role joyfully. That way, Rising To The Top In Marriage will not be far-fetched.

8. Adapt Yourself to Your Husband:

Be flexible in your ways and accommodate his preferences sometimes to keep peace in the home.

9. Respect Your Husband:

Honor, admire, and hold him in high regard as the head of the home. Respect strengthens a man’s leadership. Respect is a secret of Rising To The Top In Marriage.

10. Praise Your Husband:

As with the husband praising his wife, a wife who makes her man feel valued through words of affirmation and encouragement empowers him.

When a wife embraces these 4 principles of submission, it creates an environment where her husband can love her as Christ loved the church. In turn, this releases blessings in the home. A submissive wife is a barometer for a successful, happy marriage.


In summary, the secrets to rising to the top in marriage are ensuring God is at the center, the husband loves his wife as Christ loved the church, and the wife submits to her husband’s leadership as unto the Lord. When both partners understand and fulfill their God-ordained roles, it creates an ideal environment for a thriving marriage full of joy, peace, and blessings from above.

Some may object that submission seems like oppression. However, as outlined, biblical submission is not about control but about each partner serving the other. It allows both to fulfill their full potential.

When submission is embraced with a pure heart, it leads to a marriage where both partners truly become one flesh.

For those struggling in their marriage, I strongly recommend focusing on the God factor, having the husband study what it means to love like Christ, and the wife learning about joyful biblical submission. Make these secrets a daily reality and watch as your marriage is transformed and rises to new heights.

In closing, if you want your marriage to stand the test of time, put God first, love your spouse sacrificially, and learn to submit to one another through service. Apply these secrets and you will reap an abundant, blessed marriage that will be the envy of those around you.

Unlock 10 Secrets of Biblical Courtship and Marriage with Dr. David Ogbueli

Unlock 10 Secrets of Biblical Courtship and Marriage with Dr. David Ogbueli

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Unlock 10 Secrets of Biblical Courtship and Marriage with Dr. David Ogbueli

This devotional is from a teaching originally done by Dr. David Ogbueli in a YouTube video titled Biblical Courtship and Marriage.

Many struggle with relationships failing to last. Can we just take a moment to appreciate how much wisdom is packed into the Bible’s approach to courtship and marriage? It’s like a well-designed blueprint for building a solid foundation, and let me tell you, that foundation is crucial when it comes to weathering life’s storms together.

What are The Two Stages of Biblical Courtship and Marriage?

1. First Stage. Engagement

Engagement in the biblical sense wasn’t just a fancy way of saying “We’re dating.” Nope, it was a brief period where the couple obtained consent from the woman’s family, kind of like a formal “courting” phase. Once that consent was given, it was time to move on to the next stage: marriage.

2. Second Stage. Marriage

Marriage represented the legal and covenant union between a man and woman. Speaking of marriage, this wasn’t just a casual “let’s make it official” kind of deal. It was a full-blown covenant union between a man and woman, complete with ceremonies and celebrations with both families. Talk about making a commitment, right? That is the second stage of Biblical Courtship and Marriage.

Let’s talk about Understanding Engagement in Scripture.

3. The Example of Rebekah and Isaac

Remember the story of Rebekah and Isaac? When Abraham’s servant went searching for a wife for Isaac, Rebekah showed she was game, and the servant then asked her family for permission. Boom, that’s the engagement process right there. This is a clear example of Biblical Courtship and Marriage.

4. The Example of Mary and Joseph

How about Mary and Joseph? According to Matthew 1:19, they were already betrothed (engaged) when Mary became pregnant. Joseph was ready to “divorce her quietly” because he thought she had been unfaithful. That just goes to show how serious engagement was back then – it was basically like being married already.

What are the Factors to Consider During Engagement?

5. Inquiring About Family Backgrounds

When it comes to Biblical Courtship and Marriage, It was important to inquire about each other’s family backgrounds, values, and relationships. After all, you’re not just marrying the person; you’re marrying into their whole family dynamic.

6. Checking Spiritual Values and Upbringing.

Checking in on spiritual values and upbringing was also crucial. You wanted to make sure you and your potential spouse were on the same page when it came to following Christ and living out biblical truth. It’s not just about what someone says; it’s about the fruit they bear.

7. Moving From Engagement to Marriage

Once consent and compatibility were established, it was time to move from engagement to marriage without delay. Dragging things out too long risked forming unhealthy attachments or behaviors that weren’t exactly in line with Christian commitment. With God’s guidance and some wise counsel, a couple could discern when they were ready to tie the knot.

How Do We Apply Biblical Courtship and Marriage Principles for Lasting Marriages?

8. The Importance of Parental Guidance

Following God’s blueprint for relationships helps build marriages that stand. parental guidance is key. Having that accountability and wisdom from the get-go helps ensure you’re making a decision based on character and calling, not just fleeting emotions.

9. Building on Shared Faith

When you and your spouse are united in following Christ, you’ve got a solid spiritual and moral foundation to weather any storm that comes your way. Marrying someone who doesn’t share your faith can lead to growing apart over time as your worldviews diverge.

10. Recommendation

That’s why I wholeheartedly recommend following the Biblical Courtship and Marriage model of brief engagement and parental guidance when it comes to relationships. It’s all about open communication, accountability, and making sure you’re compatible in the ways that truly matter – shared faith, values, and a commitment to putting Christ at the center of your union. Let’s be real, emotions come and go, but a marriage built on the solid rock of Christ? That’s a union that can withstand anything life throws your way, all while bringing glory to God.


So, my friend, as you navigate the world of relationships and marriage, remember to make wisdom your guide. Don’t just go with your feelings; seek counsel, prioritize character and conviction, and build on a foundation of shared faith. When you do that, you’ll be setting yourself up for a marriage that not only lasts but also reflects the incredible love and commitment of our Heavenly Father. I hope you have learnt one or two things about Biblical Courtship and Marriage.

18 Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo

18 Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo

Reading Time: 3 minutes

18 Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home Part 2 by Bishop Oyedepo.

We continue from where we left off yesterday.

8. Protect Your Home from Unauthorized Discussions.

Satan knows the best way to infiltrate is through our vulnerabilities. We must guard our hearts and minds, as well as protect our families, from having private counsel with those who could mislead or misinform.

Only by focusing on Jesus can we avoid being led astray down dangerous paths that end up destroying what God wants to build.

9. Satan, Liar and Deceiver.

Satan is introduced in the Bible as a deceiver, not a man of strength. He is against a Successful Marriage and home. His power comes from deception, not might. We must recognize him for who he truly is – a liar who seeks to trick us through half-truths and distortions of God’s word. To avoid giving Satan access, we must educate ourselves on the strategies he commonly uses. Some of his devices mentioned in the Bible include sowing discord, temptation of the flesh, and accusations against believers. Studying God’s word and growing in spiritual discernment equip us to recognize Satan’s tactics and not fall for his tricks.

10. Satan Seeks to Gain Advantage Through Ignorance.

Paul warns in 2 Corinthians 2 verse 11 that we should not be ignorant of Satan’s devices, lest he gain an advantage over us. Unless we are conversant in his tricks and tactics, the enemy will succeed in deceiving us. Knowledge is key to not allowing Satan’s entrance. We must understand how he operates so we aren’t caught unaware by his schemes. In a successful marriage, the couple is sensitive.

11. Love Your Spouse As Christ Loves the Church.

A foundational way to keep Satan out is by following Christ’s example of sacrificial love for our spouse. When we put our partner’s needs above our own desires, prioritizing understanding and kindness, it creates an environment Satan cannot penetrate. Your marriage and home becomes a haven.

12. Submit to One Another in Reverence for Christ.

Another one of the blueprints for a successful marriage and home is submission. Bishop Oyedepo highlighted the importance of mutual submission according to Ephesians 5. By humbly yielding to one another out of respect for Jesus, it fosters an atmosphere of peace, unity, and care that protects the home from Satan’s schemes.

13. Living Out God’s Design for Marriage.

God created marriage to reflect Christ’s love for the church. Living this out daily through small acts of service, communication, and time together provides the foundation Satan cannot gain entry over.

14. Dealing With an Unsaved Spouse.

For those with unbelieving partners, Bishop Oyedepo advised continuing to love unconditionally as Christ did, while being a light that points to Jesus. With patience and prayer, God can use a faithful spouse’s example to soften their companion’s heart over time. Your marriage and home can be glorious.

Marriage and Home

15. Standing United as a Family.

When spouses present a united front and make their marriage and home a priority through quality time together, it sends a message to Satan that he is not welcome. Discord and division give him an opening to sow temptation, but unity slams the door in his face.

16. Praying For and Encouraging Your Spouse.

Lifting each other through prayer is vital and also a Successful Marriage secret. When spouses cover one another before God’s throne daily, interceding for protection and blessing, it forms a hedge of protection around the home that demons cannot penetrate. Positive words of affirmation and compassion also strengthen the resolve to resist Satan’s attacks.

17. Resolving Conflict Biblically.

Disagreements will inevitably arise, but Bishop Oyedepo stressed addressing them according to Matthew 18, through gentle confrontation and then involving authority figures if needed. Refusing to let the sun go down on anger prevents the devil from gaining a foothold in division. thereby saving your marriage and home.

18. Filling Your Home With Love.

Making your marriage and home a place of acceptance, forgiveness, and fun keeps Satan at bay. Laughter, inside jokes, and making memories together form an impenetrable shield of protection. Filling your water pots with love and kindness starves the accuser of any opportunities.

Conclusion. By understanding Satan’s tactics, equipping yourself with biblical knowledge, and living out God’s design for marriage, you can send the demons attacking your marriage and home fleeing. Make protecting your family through Christ-centered unity and love a daily priority. Though spiritual battles will come, focus on filling your water pots with God’s love so Satan finds no entrance. Stay strong in the Lord and in the power of His might.

Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo

Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Blueprints for a Successful Marriage and Home by Bishop Oyedepo.

Before we dive into today’s devotional, I want to wish you a happy new month! God bless you massively! This month, God has given us a word! You will SING a NEW SONG! I’m expecting your testimonies!

The enemy has targeted the family as his number one priority to attack and prevent a Successful Marriage and Home. Bishop Oyedepo shares in his YouTube video titled “How To Build A Successful Home” how to protect your home through the power of God’s Word and have it overflowing with miracles instead of darkness.

1. The Enemy’s Target: The Family.

As we learn from Genesis, Satan was personally introduced as soon as the first family was established by God. His very first activity on earth was directed towards destroying this family unit. Satan appeared immediately after God had concluded the first marriage between Adam and Eve.

Satan knew that the family was central to God’s plan and purpose. By attacking the home, he could undermine what God was establishing. Even today, the home remains one of Satan’s top priorities to infiltrate and dismantle. Whether it is causing strife between husbands and wives or turning children away from their parents, Satan will do anything to wreck God’s design for families.

2. Jesus’ Counter: Establishing Joy at a Wedding.

In direct contrast, the first miracle Jesus performed was at a wedding in Cana to save the celebration. Jesus appeared where Satan had sought to destroy, in the context of marriage and family.

By turning water into wine, Jesus brought joy to the newlywed couple on what should have been a happy occasion. He established that his mandate was to give life abundantly. Just as Satan came to steal, kill, and destroy, Jesus came so that we may have life more plentifully.

This miracle sets the stage for Jesus to undo all of Satan’s works. It showed his heart was for restoring families and taking away any shame that the enemy tried to bring. Wherever Satan brought sorrow, Jesus promises joy instead. Jesus showed His support for a Successful Marriage and Home.

3. Do Whatever God Tells You To Do.

Bishop Oyedepo highlights the servants’ obedience as the key to Jesus performing miracles. When he told them to fill the water pots, they did so fully without question. This is one of the blueprints of a Successful Marriage and Home.

If we want to see miracles in our homes, we must do whatever God says – not half-heartedly, but to the fullest extent. When His Word calls us to honor our spouse, forgive easily, or put our kids first – we must obey without limit. Full obedience unlocks God’s power.

4. Fill the “Water Pots” with the Word.

The servants were filling the pots with water, but the passage likens the water to God’s Word. When we fill our minds and homes with scripture, speaking it over our situations, we position ourselves for miracles.

God’s Word has the power to transform every area, just as the water became wine. Make time each day to read the Bible and pray its truths over your family and you will enjoy a Successful Marriage and Home.

5. Miracles Will Be the Result.

When the servants obeyed Jesus fully by filling the pots to the brim with water, the scripture says he then told them to draw some out and take it to the governor of the feast. And when the ruler tasted it, he declared it the best wine of all – even though it had just been turned from water moments before.

In the same way, when we obey God’s Word completely for our families and homes, miracles will be the inevitable result. Where there was lack, abundance will come. Trouble will turn to triumph. And what the enemy meant for evil, God will use for good beyond what we could ask or think.

Through obedience, our families can be transformed from average to excellent – far surpassing what people expect. So make the choice today to do all that God instructs for your home. Miracles will follow!

6. Avoid Strife.

Bishop Oyedepo noted that Satan works by spreading unauthorized information to cause strife. But God’s people have a distinct advantage – we are called to walk in the light of His Word. To have a Successful Marriage and Home you have to avoid strafe!

7. Walk in the Word and Hear God, Not Men.

When gossip, rumors, or doubts come our way, the Bible instructs us to test everything and hold fast to what is good. We must determine if a message lines up with Scripture or comes from an ungodly source meant to deceive. By hearing God’s voice above all others, no weapon formed against our home can prosper (Isaiah 54:17). His truth protects us from the enemy’s schemes. We will stop here today and continue tomorrow.

Top 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Marriage They Didn’t Teach In School

Top 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Marriage They Didn’t Teach In School

Reading Time: 4 minutes

Top 10 Secrets to a Stress-Free Marriage They Didn’t Teach In School Originally Taught by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole

This teaching is done by Dr. Albert Femi Oduwole, an International Conference Speaker, Author, Life coach and Lead Pastor at Triumphant Nation. Many people struggle in their marriages wondering “why can’t relationships just be easy?” While love may feel simple at first, maintaining a healthy marriage requires effort. In this article, we’ll discuss the root causes of marital problems and provide practical tips for overcoming struggles through open communication, appreciation, and personal growth.

Here Are A Few Root Causes of Marital Problems

1. Unhealthy Comparisons

It’s only natural to compare our partners to others, but this often stems from unrealistic expectations. No two people or relationships are exactly alike, so comparing your spouse to an idealized version of someone else sets them up for failure. Learn to appreciate your partner for who they are. Focus on your partner’s positive qualities rather than perceived flaws. Appreciate how they enrich your life uniquely rather than longing for something different. Avoiding unhealthy comparisons is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.

2. Taking Your Partner for Granted

How we treat our spouse on a daily basis matters greatly. When we stop showing gratitude for the little things they do, it’s easy to start resenting them. Don’t forget to express thanks for the care and support you receive from your partner. Verbalize gratitude, perform small acts of service, and give compliments. Keep romance alive with date nights, gifts, and quality time together.

3. Lack of Communication

Problems arise when we make assumptions instead of openly discussing how we feel. Resentment builds over time if issues aren’t addressed. Make deliberate listening a priority so you can understand each other’s perspectives. Use “I feel” statements to share feelings respectfully. Actively listen by restating what you heard to ensure understanding. Find a compromise when you disagree instead of demanding your way.

4. Lack of Regular Date Nights

Make time to reconnect as a couple away from distractions. Enjoy fun activities together to foster intimacy and friendship.

5. Not Participating in Chores  

Lend a helping hand with chores or responsibilities to lighten their load. Offer back rubs, make their favorite meal, or send caring notes.

Understanding Each Other Despite Our Differences

While marriage comes with its challenges, understanding and appreciating our differences can help overcome them. Let’s dive into three key areas: At the core of the secrets to a stress-free marriage is understanding one another.

6. Rice vs Spaghetti Brains

Science has shown men and women’s brains develop differently. A man’s brain tends to be compartmentalized like individual rice grains, allowing him to focus intently on one thing at a time. In contrast, a woman’s brain is more interconnected like spaghetti, allowing her to multitask and take in various details simultaneously.

This affects how we process and store information. For example, a husband may have trouble following a story if his wife jumps around. Or a wife may get frustrated if her husband doesn’t seem engaged when she’s sharing feelings. Understanding these natural differences can help us communicate better.

7. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language

People also express and receive love primarily through five “love languages” – gifts, quality time, acts of service, words of affirmation, and physical touch. Gary Chapman’s research showed unless we understand our spouse’s main love language, our efforts to show love may not be properly received.

For instance, if a husband’s language is acts of service but his wife’s is quality time, he may feel unloved when she does chores but doesn’t spend meaningful one-on-one moments with him. Learning each other’s love language builds intimacy. Speaking Each Other’s Love Language is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage

8. Handling Challenges as Opportunities

Rather than magnifying problems, we can choose to see challenges as opportunities for growth. Hard times, if faced with gratitude, can strengthen our character and relationship in unseen ways. Problems often come hand in hand with blessings, if we have the right perspective. For example, an illness may bring family closer in caregiving. Financial struggles may lead to cutting expenses in healthy ways. Difficult conversations could improve communication long-term.

9. Blessings In Disguise

Seeing blessings amidst trials requires an active choice to be thankful in “all circumstances,” as Paul wrote. It’s human nature to focus on negatives; changing our lens takes effort but pays off.

Similarly, problems present chances to cultivate virtues like patience, humility and dependence on God. We can learn so much about ourselves and each other through adversity. If faced constructively as a team, challenges need not tear us apart but can instead bring us closer together. Seeing Challenges as Opportunities is one of the secrets to a stress-free marriage.

10. The Power of Perspective

One powerful testimony shared was about a man who promised to take his family on a vacation. However, he then hit unexpected financial struggles and it seemed the trip may not happen.

Instead of worrying, the man chose to be thankful for what he had. He thanked God each day for blessings like his health and family. Opportunities then unexpectedly opened up for an even greater provision beyond what he asked for, enabling an amazing vacation.

This example shows how shifting one’s perspective from lack to gratitude can change everything. When we feel discontent, it’s easy to focus on wants. But being thankful for what we’ve received, no matter how little, attracts more goodness.

In conclusion, understanding our differences, seeing struggles as opportunities, and cultivating gratitude can strengthen any marriage. Appreciating each other as God designed will help weather challenges and build a foundation of love. When you understand these tips, you would have discovered powerful secrets to a stress-free marriage.

Top 60 Things About Love, Lovers, and Loving Exposed

Top 60 Things About Love, Lovers, and Loving Exposed

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Top 60 Things About Love, Lovers, and Loving Exposed

 1.  A relationship without trust is like a car without fuel, it won’t move. 

 2.  The key to a successful relationship is not finding the right person, it’s being the right person. 

 3.  Communication is the foundation of any successful relationship. 

 4.  Love is not a feeling, it’s a choice. 

 5.  A relationship is not a 50/50 partnership, it’s a 100/100 partnership. 

 6.  Forgiveness is the oxygen that keeps relationships alive. 

 7.  Relationships are not about being perfect, they’re about being perfect for each other. 

 8.  The enemy of relationships is not the devil, but the ignorance of God’s plan for relationships. 

 9.  Prayer is the foundation of a strong relationship. 

 10.  A relationship is not a destination, it’s a journey. 

 11.  Trust is the glue that holds relationships together. 

 12.  Relationships are built on the foundation of mutual respect, trust, and communication. 

 13.  A successful relationship is not about being happy, it’s about being fulfilled. 

 14.  Relationships are not about what you get, it’s about what you give. 

 15.  A relationship is not a game, it’s a journey of discovery. 

 16.  Marriage is not a trial and error institution, it’s a divine institution. 

 17.  Marriage is not about finding the right person, it’s about being the right person. 

 18.  A successful marriage is not about love, it’s about commitment. 

 19.  Marriage is not about being perfect, it’s about being perfect for each other. 

 20.  The enemy of marriage is not the devil, but the ignorance of God’s plan for marriage. 

 21.  A happy marriage is not about being happy with each other, it’s about being happy in each other. 

 22.  Marriage is not about what you get, it’s about what you give. 

 23.  Marriage is built on the foundation of mutual respect, trust, and communication. 

 24.  Communication is the lifeblood of any successful relationship. 

 25.  Effective communication is not about talking, it’s about listening. 

 26.  Communication is not about being heard, it’s about being understood. 

 27.  Communication is the key to unlocking the secrets of a successful relationship. 

 28.  Communication is not about what you say, it’s about how you say it. 

 29.  Communication is not about winning, it’s about understanding. 

 30.  Effective communication is not about being loud, it’s about being clear. 

 31.  Love is not a word, it’s an action. 

 32.  Love is not a fleeting emotion, it’s a lifelong commitment that requires effort, patience, and sacrifice. 

 33.  Love is not about being loved, it’s about loving. 

 34.  Love is the force that binds hearts together, transcending all barriers. 

 35.  True love is revealed not in grand gestures, but in everyday acts of kindness and consideration. 

 36.  Love is the anchor that steadies us through life’s storms, offering solace and strength. 

 37.  Love is a journey of discovery, an exploration of the depths of the human heart. 

 38.  Love is not possessive; it sets free and empowers the beloved to be their truest self. 

 39.  In love, there’s a profound beauty in vulnerability, where two souls intertwine in shared authenticity. 

 40.  Love is a dance of mutual admiration, where each partner uplifts and celebrates the other’s uniqueness. 

 41.  Building a strong relationship requires the courage to be transparent and vulnerable with one another. 

 42.  Every challenge in a relationship is an opportunity for growth and deeper connection. 

 43.  Shared values and aspirations form the bedrock of enduring relationships, anchoring partners through life’s trials. 

 44.  In a healthy relationship, partners not only support each other’s dreams but actively collaborate to achieve them. 

 45.  Emotional intimacy is cultivated through genuine communication and empathetic listening, fostering a profound bond. 

 46.  Respect in a relationship is not demanded but earned through consistent acts of kindness, understanding, and support. 

 47.  True partnership in a relationship means facing obstacles together, united in purpose and unwavering in commitment. 

 48.  Love in a relationship is not stagnant but evolves, deepening with time and shared experiences. 

 49.  Marriage is a sacred covenant, a promise to stand by each other’s side through life’s joys and sorrows. 

 50.  In marriage, each day is an opportunity to reaffirm vows of love, honor, and fidelity. 

 51.  A successful marriage is built not on perfection but on resilience, the willingness to weather storms and emerge stronger together. 

 52.  The true measure of a marriage’s strength lies not in the absence of conflict but in the ability to navigate challenges with grace and compassion. 

 53.  Marriage is a sanctuary where partners find solace, acceptance, and unwavering support. 

 54.  The beauty of marriage lies in the shared journey of growth, where each partner inspires the other to reach their highest potential. 

 55.  Marriage thrives on mutual respect, where differences are celebrated and conflicts are resolved with mutual understanding and compromise. 

 56.  Effective communication in a relationship is characterized by honesty, authenticity, and vulnerability. 

 57.  Listening in communication is an act of love, affirming the value and worth of the speaker. 

 58.  Open communication fosters an environment of trust and transparency, laying the groundwork for deeper connection. 

 59.  In communication, silence can be as powerful as words, offering space for reflection and understanding. 

 60.  Clarity in communication prevents misunderstandings and ensures that intentions are conveyed accurately. 

Anger Management Hacks: 10 Surprising Ways To Keep Your Cool 

Anger Management Hacks: 10 Surprising Ways To Keep Your Cool 

Reading Time: 3 minutes

Anger Management Hacks: 10 Surprising Ways To Keep Your Cool 

Good morning! Today, I want to speak directly to both singles and married couples. There are things in life that work, and there are things that do not. You don’t need to spend another five years experimenting to figure out what works and what doesn’t. All you need is a willingness to learn. Every mistake you make has the potential to harden your heart against God, which is a tactic of the devil. Life is not meant to be permanently lived on Mistake Street by Error Avenue. Instead, you can choose to pursue wisdom and allow past mistakes to teach and instruct you. 

You gain wisdom from God’s word and also from His anointed ones. Here are a few things you should take note of.

1. Be Slow to Get Angry

This is what the scripture expressly advises. Many have lost precious relationships because of anger tantrums. It’s okay to get angry sometimes as a human; I get angry myself sometimes. But when your anger becomes compulsive, uncontrollable, and borders on violence, you need to be careful.  When it comes to anger, apply the super slow-motion button! 

2. Managing Anger

Pray to God for Help: If you find yourself getting angry to the point of beating people, picking fights, or destroying things, you need to consciously pray to God for help.

3. Seek Resources

Go online and search for ‘anger management’ to find materials that can help you.

4. Study Scriptures

Dive into the scriptures and study every instance where the words “anger,” “angry,” “wrath,” etc., occur. The word of God is life and that life can help you manage your emotions. 

Be not hasty in thy spirit to be angry: for anger resteth in the bosom of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:9 KJV)

5. Walk Away

The next time you get very angry, walk away and check the mirror. If you can see the lumps there, relax first before making a decision. 

Ecc 7:9 (MSG) Don’t be quick to fly off the handle. Anger boomerangs. You can spot a fool by the lumps on his head.

6. Soft Answers

When your partner is angry, don’t raise your voice back. Talk in a whisper, and the demon of wrath will fly away.

7. Two Angry People

Consider Simeon and Levi, who had serious anger problems:

“Simeon and Levi are brethren; instruments of cruelty are in their habitations. O my soul, come not thou into their secret; unto their assembly, mine honour, be not thou united: for in their anger they slew a man, and in their self-will they digged down a wall.” (Genesis 49:5-6 KJV)

Their father placed a curse on them for their actions:

“Cursed be their anger, for it was fierce; and their wrath, for it was cruel: I will divide them in Jacob, and scatter them in Israel.” (Genesis 49:7 KJV)

Their problem was that they were both angry at the same time. Never get angry at the same time your partner is angry. 

8.  Dealing with Anger as a Single

If you recognize that you have anger issues, don’t ignore it and don’t play the denial card. Here are the steps you can take:

  1. Talk to a Pastor or Mentor: Seek guidance from spiritual leaders.
  2. Read Books: Find books on anger management and read them.
  3. Study the Scriptures: Allow your mind to be renewed by God’s word.
  4. Pray for Help: Pray to God for assistance in overcoming your anger.

When you pray to God for help, you might find more situations that provoke you. This can be a way to understand the depth of your need for help and start working on it consciously.

9. Dealing with Anger as Married Couples

Anger in marriage can be particularly dangerous. Here are some guidelines for managing anger in a marital relationship:

a. Avoid Simultaneous Anger.

If one partner is angry, the other should remain calm.

    b. Don’t Raise Your Voice.

    Talk in a whisper to defuse the situation.

    Pro 15:1 (KJV) A soft answer turneth away wrath: but grievous words stir up anger.

    c. Avoid Provocative Language: 

    Respond with gentle words like, “Dear, it is well.”

    10. Prayer and Confession 

    Confession. I am not a fool, therefore, I don’t get angry easily.

    Prayer. I curse every root of anger and wrath in my life in Jesus’ name.

    Top 8 Habits of the Most Romantic Couples

    Top 8 Habits of the Most Romantic Couples

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Top 8 Habits of the Most Romantic Couples

    Have you ever wondered what makes some couples (either singles in courtship or already married) so obviously in love and devoted to each other? You know, there’s something truly magical about being in a happy, romantic relationship. It’s like you’ve got this secret code that unlocks a whole new world of joy and wonder. And the best part? It’s all thanks to the little things you and your partner do for each other every single day.

    Now, I know what you’re thinking: “But Pastor Dunamis, what are these little things you speak of?” Well, let me tell you, dear ones. It all starts with gratitude – that sweet nectar of love that keeps the fire burning bright.

    1. They express gratitude and appreciation for each other regularly.

    You see, the most romantic couples out there are like a bunch of love-struck teenagers, constantly expressing their appreciation for each other. It’s like they’ve got this never-ending supply of “thank you’s” and “I love you’s” just waiting to be unleashed, like a secret stash of love letters hidden under the mattress.

    And you know what? It works! Because when you feel appreciated, it’s like someone just lit a match inside of you. You want to do more, be more, and give more to your partner. It’s like this beautiful dance of love and appreciation that just keeps on spinning, like a couple of lovebirds twirling around in the moonlight.

    As singles in courtship, if your loved one never appreciates or compliments you, it may not likely change after the wedding. Be careful.

    2. They fight fairly and see conflict as an opportunity to learn and grow together.

    What more? Happy couples also know how to fight fair. Now, I know what you’re thinking: “Fighting? In a romantic relationship? We will never fight, we are so much in love. But hear me out. Conflict is inevitable; it will happen if both of you are not pretenders.

    They compromise, make sacrifices, and never lose sight of the greater good of their relationship. It’s like they’ve got this secret code: “We’re in this together, babe. Let’s figure it out, one step at a time.”

    3. They ask for what they need, understand each other’s differences, and make space for the other person’s needs.

    They ask for what they need because let’s face it, we’re all different people with different needs, and these couples understand that. They make space for each other to be their authentic selves, never suffocating one another or allowing their individualities to be subdued. As singles in courtship, your voice should not be muted. The ability to express your needs intelligently is part of the qualities of a great relationship.

    They speak their partner’s love language, which can be different for everyone.

    4. They speak their partner’s love language, which can be different for everyone.

    It’s like they’ve got this secret language of love, where they speak to each other in the way that resonates most. For some, it’s gifts; for others, it’s quality time, like a spontaneous weekend getaway to a cozy little bed and breakfast, where they can escape the hustle and bustle of everyday life and just bask in each other’s company.

    They whisper sweet nothings into each other’s ears, like a secret love poem written just for two. They shower each other with compliments and affirmations, like a gentle rain nourishing the seeds of love that have been planted deep within their hearts.+

    5. They do chores together, which helps build trust and closeness while keeping resentment at bay.

    They do chores together, which might not sound sexy, but trust me, it’s like a secret love potion.

    Cooking together, with playful banter and stolen kisses as they chop veggies and stir sauces. Cleaning together, with impromptu dance parties breaking out in the living room as they vacuum and dust. It’s all about building that trust and closeness that keeps resentment at bay, like a protective force field around their love.

    6. They make time for physical affection, touching, and snuggling.

    And let’s not forget about physical affection, my friends. These couples are like a bunch of new lovers, constantly touching, hugging, and kissing each other. It’s like they’ve got this secret stash of oxytocin just waiting to be released, flooding their bodies with warmth and affection. Kindly note that this is not encouraged for singles. It is clear from God’s word that sex is reserved for after the wedding with your spouse.

    They hold hands as they stroll around, their fingers intertwined like vines clinging to each other for support. They steal quick pecks on the cheek as they pass each other in the hallway, like a secret handshake shared only between the two of them.

    7. They share more meaningful topics and intimate details of their lives.

    These couples also share the deep, meaningful parts of their lives. They talk about their dreams, their hopes, their fears – it’s like they’ve got this secret club where they can be their most authentic selves without fear of judgment. Nothing is hidden.

    They bare their souls to each other, and in return, they are met with understanding, compassion, and unwavering support, like a warm embrace on a cold winter’s night.

    8. A deep, spiritual connection that transcends the physical realm.

    They know that true love is a gift from the divine, a sacred bond that is meant to be nurtured and cherished.

    Like the beautiful words found in 1 Corinthians 13:4-8, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonour others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres. Love never fails.”

    These verses serve as a guiding light for these couples, reminding them that true love is not just a fleeting emotion but a conscious choice they make every single day. They choose to be patient with each other’s flaws and imperfections, just as God is patient with us. They choose to be kind, even when the world around them is harsh and unforgiving.

    So, my dear friends, take heart and take inspiration from these couples who have unlocked the secret to a truly fulfilling and romantic relationship. Let their love be a beacon of hope, guiding you toward a deeper, more meaningful connection with your partner. And always remember that with faith, patience, and a whole lot of love, anything is possible.

    10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

    10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

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    10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships.

    This is is the last part 

    4. Avoid Assumptions.

    When communicating with your partner, it’s essential to avoid making assumptions and instead ask open-ended questions to gain a better understanding of their perspective. 

    Assumptions can lead to miscommunication, conflict, and erode trust, whereas asking questions shows that you’re genuinely interested in understanding your partner’s viewpoint, which can help build trust and strengthen your connection. 

    By asking open-ended questions, you can clarify doubts and uncertainties, gain a deeper understanding of your partner’s thoughts and feelings, and build trust and intimacy. 

    Examples of open-ended questions include asking for your partner’s opinion, how they felt in a particular situation, what they need from you, and why they made a certain decision. When asking questions, it’s essential to avoid leading questions, listen actively, ask follow-up questions, and not interrupt your partner. 

    5. Stay Calm and Composed.

    In difficult conversations that are emotionally charged, it’s essential to stay calm and composed. This means taking a moment to collect your thoughts before responding, so you can prevent impulsive reactions and promote a more thoughtful and constructive dialogue. Emotional regulation is crucial in these situations, as it enables you to think clearly, listen actively, and manage your emotions.

    To stay calm, you can take a deep breath, count to ten, or step away for a moment to collect your thoughts. 

    It’s important to remember that staying calm doesn’t mean suppressing your emotions. Acknowledging and expressing your emotions in a constructive way can help create a more respectful and thoughtful conversation.

    6. Focus on the Issue, Not the Person.

    When you’re in tough conversations in relationships, it’s super important to focus on the issue at hand, not attack the other person. Personal attacks can be really damaging to your relationship and make it hard to have an open and honest conversation.

    When you personally attack someone, you make them defensive, which can shut down the conversation. You erode trust, making it harder to have honest conversations. You also escalate the situation, leading to more conflict and tension

    Focusing on the issue instead of attacking your partner can reduce defensiveness, making it easier to have an open and honest dialogue

    7. Use Positive Language.

    Frame your message in a positive and constructive way, focusing on solutions rather than problems. Use positive language to express your concerns, and try to find common ground. Instead of saying “you’re always late,” say “I feel frustrated when we’re running behind schedule; can we find a way to manage our time better?” By reframing your message, you can shift the focus from criticism to collaboration.

    8. Seek Common Ground.

    What if you looked for areas where you both agree and worked together to find a solution that works for both of you? When you do this, you start communicating way better, and actually listen to each other. You become a team, working together to find a solution that rocks for both of you. Your relationship gets stronger, because you’re building trust and understanding each other better. 

    And you reduce conflict, because you’re not fighting anymore – you’re working together. To make this magic happen, here are some tips: listen to your partner, like, really listen, and try to understand where they’re coming from. 

    9. Be Willing to Compromise.

    Compromise is a crucial aspect of any successful relationship or marriage, and it’s essential to be willing to listen to your partner’s concerns and find a middle ground that works for both parties. This doesn’t mean sacrificing your own needs or desires, but rather being open to finding a solution that benefits both of you. 

    To compromise effectively, you should listen actively to your partner’s concerns, identify common goals, be flexible, communicate openly, and seek creative solutions. 

    10. Follow Up and Follow Through.

    After having a difficult conversation, it’s essential to follow up and follow through on any agreements or actions discussed, which helps build trust and demonstrates a commitment to communication and understanding. 

    By following through on your commitments, you show that you’re reliable and responsible, which can strengthen your bond and build a stronger foundation for your relationship. Following up and following through on agreements is crucial in relationships because it builds trust, demonstrates responsibility, and shows a commitment to communication. To follow up effectively, set clear expectations, establish a timeline, communicate regularly, and be transparent about your progress. 

    By following the top ten tips, including choosing the right time and place, being aware of your emotions, using “I” statements, practicing active listening, and compromising, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship based on trust, respect, and open communication. 

    Remember, navigating difficult conversations is an ongoing process that requires effort and commitment from both partners, but by working together and following these tips, you can build a stronger, more fulfilling relationship that lasts a lifetime.

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships Part 2

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships Part 2

    Reading Time: 2 minutes

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships Part 2

    4. Avoid Assumptions

    Don’t assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling. Instead, ask open-ended questions to gain a better understanding of their perspective. Assumptions can lead to miscommunication and conflict, so it’s essential to clarify any doubts or uncertainties. By asking questions, you show that you’re genuinely interested in understanding your partner’s viewpoint, which can help to build trust and strengthen your connection.

    Here are some Dangers of Assumptions

    a. Lead to miscommunication

    When you assume you know what your partner is thinking or feeling, you may misinterpret their words or actions, leading to misunderstanding and conflict.

    b. Create conflict
    Unfounded assumptions can lead to arguments and resentment, causing unnecessary tension in your relationship.

    c. Erode trust

    When you assume you know what your partner is thinking, you may not take the time to listen to their perspective, which can erode trust and intimacy.

    The Power of Open-Ended Questions

    Asking open-ended questions helps to:

    a. Clarify doubts and uncertainties

    By asking questions, you can clear up any misunderstandings and ensure you’re on the same page as your partner.

    b. Gain a deeper understanding

    Open-ended questions help you gain insight into your partner’s thoughts, feelings, and motivations, fostering a deeper understanding of their perspective.

    c. Build trust and intimacy

    When you take the time to ask questions and listen actively, you demonstrate that you value and respect your partner’s thoughts and feelings, building trust and intimacy.

    Examples of Open-Ended Questions

    Here are some examples of open-ended questions you can ask your partner:

    a. What do you think about…? – Ask your partner’s opinion on a specific topic or issue.

    b. How did you feel when…? – Ask your partner to share their emotions and thoughts about a particular experience or situation.

    c. What do you need from me in this situation? – Ask your partner what they need from you to feel supported and understood.

    d. Can you help me understand why…? – Ask your partner to explain their reasoning or motivations behind a particular action or decision.

    Tips for Effective Questioning

    Here are some tips to keep in mind when asking open-ended questions:

    a. Avoid leading questions

    Phrase your questions in a neutral way to avoid influencing your partner’s response.

    Listen actively 

    b. Pay attention to your partner’s response and show that you’re engaged in the conversation.

    c. Ask follow-up questions

    Clarify any doubts or uncertainties by asking follow-up questions to gain a deeper understanding.

    d. Don’t interrupt

    Let your partner finish speaking before you respond or ask another question.

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Top 10 Tips for Navigating Difficult Conversations in Relationships

    Let’s face it: relationships can be tough, and navigating tricky convos can be downright daunting – even for the most seasoned couples! From cash flow crises to intimacy issues, tackling tough topics requires empathy, active listening, and a willingness to get real.

    In this article, we’re dishing out the top 10 tips to help you level up your communication game, strengthen your bond, and build a rock-solid relationship that’s built to last.

    Ready to get started?

    1. Choose the Right Time and Place

    Ever tried to have a serious conversation in a noisy restaurant or when you’re both exhausted? Yeah, it’s a recipe for disaster. Instead, pick a quiet, private spot where you both feel comfortable and won’t be interrupted.

    Here are some Conversation Killers.

    a. When you’re in a rush or have a deadline to meet.

    b. When you’re feeling tired, hungry, or emotional.

    c. When you’re in a public place or surrounded by distractions.

    d. When you’re under pressure and feeling anxious.

    What do you do? 

    Opt for a Conversation-Friendly Environment when you are both relaxed and comfortable.  Ensure you are free from distractions and interruptions and able to focus on the conversation. 

    This will help you both feel more at ease, listen more effectively, and respond thoughtfully. Remember, the goal is to have a constructive conversation, not to add more stress to your relationship.

    Timing is Everything. As the Bible says in Ecclesiastes 3:1, “There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens.” This wisdom applies to conversations as well. 

    Choose a time when you’re both in a good headspace, and you’ll be more likely to have a productive and respectful conversation.

    So, take a deep breath, find a quiet spot, and get ready to have a meaningful conversation that will bring you closer together!

    2. Use “I” Statements

    Using “I” statements is a game-changer. It helps you express your feelings and thoughts without blaming or attacking your partner. Try saying “I feel frustrated when…” instead of “You always…” It’s a simple shift in language, but it makes a huge difference. As the Bible says in Matthew 7:12, “Do to others what you would have them do to you.” By using “I” statements, you’re taking ownership of your emotions and thoughts, rather than placing blame.

    What is the Power of “I” Statements?

    Using “I” statements has several benefits.

    a. It takes ownership.

    By using “I” statements, you’re acknowledging your own feelings and thoughts, rather than blaming your partner. This helps you take ownership of your emotions and reactions.

    b. It helps to avoids blame.
    ”I” statements help you express your feelings without placing blame on your partner. This reduces being defensive and promotes a more constructive conversation.

    c. It encourages honesty.
    Using “I” statements encourages you to be honest about your feelings and thoughts, rather than making assumptions or accusations.

    d. It’s being kind.
    When you use “I” statements, you’re expressing your own feelings and thoughts, which can help your partner understand your perspective and respond with kindliness.

    What are examples of “I” Statements?

    Here are some examples of “I” statements:

    “I feel hurt when you don’t include me in your plans.”

    “I feel frustrated when the house chores aren’t done.”

    “I feel overwhelmed when you call me repeatedly in a row.”

    “I feel excited when we plan a surprise getaway.”

    How do you use “I” statements effectively?

    Here are some tips for using “I” statements effectively:

    a. Be specific: Try to be specific about what you’re feeling and why. This helps your partner understand your perspective.

    b. Use “I” statements consistently: Make “I” statements a habit in your conversations, especially when discussing sensitive topics.

    c. Avoid mixing “I” statements with “you” statements: Try to avoid combining “I” statements with “you” statements, as this can undermine the effectiveness of the “I” statement.

    Hope you are able to learn something from that? May God help us in dealing with difficult times of difficult conversations. 

    3. Practice Active Listening

    Active listening is not just about hearing your partner’s words; it’s about fully engaging with their perspective. Make eye contact, nod to show you’re engaged, and ask clarifying questions. It’s like the Bible says in James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to become angry.” By actively listening, you’re showing your partner that you value and respect their thoughts and feelings.

    The Art of Active Listening

    Active listening is a powerful tool for building trust, understanding, and intimacy in your relationship. It’s about creating a safe space for your partner to express themselves without fear of judgment or interruption. 

    Here are some key elements of active listening.

    1. Maintain eye contact.

      Direct your attention to your partner and maintain eye contact. This helps you stay focused and engaged in the conversation.

    b. Nod to show engagement.

    Nod your head to show that you’re paying attention and interested in what your partner is saying.

    c. Ask open-ended questions.

    Instead of asking yes or no questions, ask open-ended questions that encourage your partner to share more about their thoughts and feelings.

    d. Paraphrase and summarize.

    Repeat back what you’ve heard your partner say, in your own words. This helps ensure you understand their perspective and can help prevent miscommunication.

    e. Avoid interrupting.

    Let your partner finish speaking before you respond. Avoid interrupting, even if you think you know what they’re going to say.

    Benefits of Active Listening includes deeper understanding, improved communication, increased kindness and a stronger bond.

    It is possible to face some challenges as you Strat out practising above. Here are some things you can do. 

    When you’re feeling defensive or emotional, what you can do is take a deep breath, count to 10, or step away for a moment to collect your thoughts before responding.

    When you’re worried about forgetting what your partner said, take notes or ask your partner to summarize what they’ve said.

    Finally when you’re struggling to stay focused, minimize distractions, turn off your phone, and make eye contact with your partner.

    Hope these helps? We will continue tomorrow! 

    Top 10 Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    Top 10 Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Top 10 Best Relationship Advice No One Ever Told You

    Marriage and relationships are a beautiful adventure, but they can also be unpredictable. While many of us have received advice on how to navigate these waters, there are some lesser-known gems that can make a significant difference. Here are the top 10 best relationship and marriage advice no one ever told you, along with relevant scriptures to guide us.

    1. Love is a choice, not just a feeling.

    Remember that love is a conscious decision, not just a fleeting emotion. Choose to love your partner every day, even when it’s hard.

    “We love because he first loved us.” – 1 John 4:19

    Love is not just a feeling, but a choice we make every day. When we choose to love, we open ourselves up to the possibility of hurt, but also to the possibility of deep connection and growth.

    2. Marriage is a journey, not a destination.

    Marriage is a continuous process of growth, learning, and evolution. It is not a hundred meter dash, it is a marathon! Embrace the journey and don’t expect to arrive at a perfect destination. James 1:2-4

    “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.”

    Marriage is not a destination we arrive at, but a journey we embark on together. It requires effort, patience, and perseverance to navigate the ups and downs of life. Before you enter the marital road, ask yourself whether you are ready to go the along haul. 

    3. Marriage is a union of two quick forgivers.

    No one is perfect, and mistakes will be made. Practice forgiveness and create a safe space for your partner to do the same. Ephesians 4:32

    “Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.” – Ephesians 4:32

    Forgiveness is not always easy, but it’s essential in building a healthy and thriving relationship. When we forgive, we release the burden of resentment and create space for healing and growth. You know what I often advice? Practice advance forgiveness! 

    4. Communicate with intention, not just habit.

    Communication is key, but make sure you’re communicating with intention and purpose, not just out of habit or obligation. Proverbs 15:28

    “The heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the wicked gushes evil.” – Proverbs 15:28

    Effective communication requires intention and purpose. Take the time to listen, understand, and respond thoughtfully, rather than just going through the motions. Marriage is never. Play where you serve it hot without considering where it is landing. It is a place where you intentional speak with love. 

    5. Embrace the seasons of love.

    Relationships go through different seasons, just like life. Embrace the ups and downs, and don’t expect perpetual sunshine.

    Apostle Paul said he knew what it was to abound and what it was to be abased. 

    Each season brings its own unique challenges and opportunities for growth. Decide to navigate these seasons with joy and not with unnecessary bickering and animosity. It is a choice you have to make. 

    6. Sex is not just some fun, it is a covenant between you and your spouse. 

    It is deeply spiritual. Intimacy is more than just physical; prioritize emotional and spiritual connection with your partner. And this is why we also tell singles to abstain from sex before wedding. The Bible frowns at that and it is important you understand this. 

    “Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore, honor God with your bodies.” – 1 Corinthians 6:19-20

    You are to honour God with your body by enjoying sex in marriage with your spouse and by abstaining from sex as singles! 

    7. Respect is the foundation, not just love.

    Love is essential, but respect is the foundation on which a healthy relationship is built. Prioritize respect and kindness.

    “However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:33

    Love is essential, but respect is the foundation on which a healthy relationship is built. Prioritize respect and kindness, and build a strong foundation for your relationship. I tell ladies all the time, do not marry a man you cannot respect! 

    8. Take responsibility for your own joy. 

    Your partner can’t make you happy; that’s your job. Take ownership of your happiness and well-being.

    “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” – Galatians 6:2. Two miserable couples would soon bring an end to the marriage. 

    While it’s wonderful to have a supportive partner, ultimately, your joy is your responsibility. Focus on building a fulfilling life, and your relationship will benefit as a result. Decide to keep your joy. 

    9. Don’t expect your partner to be a magician. 

    Your partner has no special love potion they have taken. Your partner will be as human as they can be. Do not expect a perfect person, they only exist in novels and movies. Happily every after is only in movies. There will be additional troubles that come as a result of getting married. Your maturity is loving despite all these troubles that come as result of male-female differences. 

    1Co 7:28 (MSG) But there’s certainly no sin in getting married, whether you’re a virgin or not. All I am saying is that when you marry, you take on additional stress in an already stressful time, and I want to spare you if possible.

    10. Laugh together, often.

    Laughter is the best medicine, especially in relationships. Make time to laugh together and find the humor in life’s challenges.

    “A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.” – Proverbs 17:22

    Laughter is contagious and brings joy to our lives. Make time to laugh together, and find the humor in life’s challenges. Bring humour out of tensed situations and laugh about it. 

    In conclusion, relationships and marriage are a beautiful adventure, full of twists and turns. When you go along with God’s counsel, it makes the journey more beautiful. 

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 2 

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 2 

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 2 

    We continue from yesterday.

    6. You’re leading separate lives

    This another one of the Signs You Need Help. Make a conscious effort to prioritize quality time together.
    We all need our own space and independence. But when you and your partner start feeling more like roommates than soulmates, that’s a major red flag. It’s like you’re two ships passing in the night, never really connecting or sharing experiences. The Bible hits the nail on the head with Amos 3:3 – “Do two walk together unless they have agreed to do so?”

    I’ll never forget this one couple I knew. Let’s call them… Sally and Buddy. These two were so wrapped up in their own worlds that they practically needed a translator to communicate. Sally was always off doing her own thing, while Buddy was glued to his video games. Date nights? Forget about it! They were living that separate lives life to the maximum.

    But here’s the thing – a relationship is supposed to be a partnership, a journey you take together. When you stop making that quality time for each other a priority, the connection starts to fray. It’s like a plant that doesn’t get enough water – it’ll eventually wither and die.

    So, what’s the solution? Well, it’s all about being intentional. Set aside regular date nights, plan little adventures together, or even just snuggle up and watch your favorite movie.

    7. Trust has been broken

    This is one of the Signs You Need Help. We’re not just talking little white lies here, but the kind that makes you question everything and feel like you’re walking on eggshells.

    I had this one friend, we’ll call her Samantha, who went through the ultimate trust betrayal. Her partner of five years had been having an emotional affair, sharing deep thoughts and feelings with someone else behind her back. When she found out, it was like her entire world shattered into a million pieces.

    Samantha was devastated. How could someone she trusted so completely violate that sacred bond? She felt like a fool for believing in their partnership.

    But here’s the thing – rebuilding trust is possible, but it takes hard work from both parties. It’s a conscious choice to forgive, to be accountable, and to communicate openly, even when it’s uncomfortable.

    Trust is precious, my friends. Once it’s been broken, working to repair it is one of the highest callings. It’s about choosing to see the higher road, even when the pain is fresh. It’s about loving bigger than you ever thought possible.

    8. You’re feeling unheard or ignored

    This is one of the Signs You Need Help. We’ve all been there, right? You try to share something that’s important to you – a frustration at work or an idea for a vacation. But instead of your partner’s full attention, you get the dreaded glazed-over look or one-word responses. It’s the romantic equivalent of talking to a brick wall.

    Listen, communication is the lifeblood of any healthy relationship. Without it, that once-blazing connection starts to feel like a dying campfire. The embers are still there, but they’re getting faint and harder to re-ignite with each passing day.

    The Bible says in James 1:19, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” Being an active listener, fully present and engaged, is one of the greatest gifts you can give your partner. It’s a way of saying “You matter. Your thoughts and feelings are valuable to me.

    So make that conscious choice, every single day, to listen with your whole soul. Put down your phone, turn off the TV, and drink in every word your partner has to say, as if it’s the nectar of the gods. Let them feel that soul-quenching feeling of being truly heard.


    9. You’re not supporting each other’s goals and dreams

    Here is another one of the Signs You Need HelpYour relationship should be a dream team – a dynamic duo working together to help each other soar to new heights. When one person’s wings start to falter, the other is there to provide an updraft and keep them aloft.

    Not supporting one another is like two planets spinning in opposite directions, never quite aligning. And as Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 remind us, “Two are better than one…If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up.”

    Supporting each other’s goals and dreams doesn’t have to be complicated. It can be as simple as listening intently when your partner shares a new idea, asking questions to understand their vision more deeply. It’s celebrating each tiny victory and reassuring them through the setbacks.

    10. You’re feeling stuck or stagnant

    How do you know if your relationship has veered off that path of joyful partnership and stumbled into a growth-stunting rut? Well, there are a few telltale signs to watch out for:

    The conversation well has run dry.

    Date night is a distant memory. The core values and interests that once bound you together have drifted in separate directions.

    If any of those strike you, fear not! This isn’t an inevitable death sentence for your relationship – it’s a wake-up call to get that growth groove back.

    Here’s the truth – a relationship is a living, breathing entity. And like anything alive, it requires the oxygen of growth, progress, and exploration to survive. Stagnation is a slow suffocation.

    So go ahead, be bold! Shake up those comfortable patterns. Nurture your evolving partnership with the same devotion and joy that first sparked it into existence.

    Choose growth – in all its messy, unpredictable, breathtakingly beautiful forms. That’s what true partnership is all about.

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 1

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help Part 1

    Reading Time: 4 minutes

    Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Top 10 Signs You Need Help

    Let’s talk about something that’s really important, but can be tough to acknowledge: when our relationship or marriage needs a little or a lot of help. As a married person, you know that relationships take work. And sometimes, despite our best efforts, things can start to feel off. The connection that once felt so strong starts to fade, and you find yourself wondering if everything is okay.

    Well, wonder no more! Today, we’re diving into the top 10 signs that your marriage might need a little TLC.

    1. You’re barely talking (and when you do, it’s only to argue)

    Communication is key in any relationship, but when the only conversations you’re having are heated ones, that’s a red flag. As Ephesians 4:29 in The Message Translation reminds us, “Watch the way you talk. Let nothing foul or dirty come out of your mouth. Say only what helps, each word a gift.” Make an effort to have meaningful, respectful conversations with your partner. Set aside dedicated time to talk about things that matter, and make a conscious effort to listen actively and respond thoughtfully.

    In a healthy relationship, communication should be open, honest, and respectful. If you find yourself avoiding conversations or only talking to argue, it’s time to reassess your communication style. Ask yourself: Are we only talking about surface-level issues, or are we diving deeper into our thoughts, feelings, and desires? Are we actively listening to each other, or are we just waiting for the other person to finish speaking so we can respond?

    2. You feel more like roommates than partners

    This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Remember when you used to be each other’s rock? If you’re feeling more like cohabitants than soulmates, something’s amiss. As singles in courtship, you are no longer excited or looking forward to your spouse! That is a red flag! As couples, you are emotional disenfranchised from your partner, well, that is a red flag! What do you do? Make time for regular date nights and activities that bring you closer together. Deliberately seek to invest in your relationship or reach out for professional help. On Kisses and Huggs Club, we have several courses designed to rekindle your love as couples!

    It’s essential to prioritize quality time together, doing things that bring you joy and closeness. This can be as simple as cooking dinner together, going for a walk, or watching a movie. The key is to make an effort to reconnect and strengthen your bond. Ask yourself: When was the last time we did something fun together? When did we last have a meaningful conversation about our hopes and dreams?

    3. Intimacy is a distant memory

    Here is another on of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Physical and emotional intimacy are essential in a healthy marriage. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner in this way, it’s time to address it. As 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 reminds us, “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.” The frequency of sex can determine the health of your marriage! Meanwhile, the constancy of sex as singles and unmarried can signal a terrible error in that relationship.

    Intimacy is about more than just physical closeness; it’s about emotional connection and vulnerability. If you’re feeling disconnected from your partner, it’s essential to address the issue head-on. This might involve having an open and honest conversation about your desires, needs, and boundaries. Ask yourself: When was the last time we had a meaningful, intimate conversation about our desires and needs? Are we prioritizing our emotional and physical connection?

    4. You’re feeling resentful or bitter

    Unresolved issues can lead to some serious resentment. If you’re feeling like you’re harboring anger or frustration towards your partner, it’s time to talk things through. As James 1:19-20 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.” Don’t try to bury resentments, it will only end up becoming like magma within the crust of the earth. One day, there will be volcanic eruption from the bitterness stored within, and that would not always be a pleasant time.

    Resentment can build up over time, causing resentment and anger to simmer just below the surface. It’s essential to address these feelings before they boil over. Make an effort to listen to your partner’s perspective, and be willing to apologize and forgive. Ask yourself: What am I holding onto? What do I need to let go of? What do I need to communicate to my partner?

    5. You’re not fighting fairly (or at all)

    This is another one of This is another one of Relationship and Marriage Red Flags! Conflict is a natural part of any relationship, but when you’re not addressing issues or are fighting dirty, it’s a problem. As Proverbs 15:1 says, “A gentle answer deflects anger, but harsh words stir up wrath.” Learn to communicate effectively and respectfully, even in the heat of the moment. Do not demonize your partner. Face the issue, not your partner. Learn to separate the person from the action so that you won’t end up hurting each other.

    When conflicts arise, it’s essential to address them in a healthy and constructive way. This means avoiding blame, criticism, and personal attacks. Instead, focus on the issue at hand and work together to find a solution. Make an effort to listen actively, remain calm, and communicate your thoughts and feelings clearly.

    Ask yourself: Am I addressing issues as they arise, or am I letting them simmer beneath the surface? Am I fighting fairly, or am I using underhanded tactics to “win” the argument? Am I willing to listen to my partner’s perspective and work together to find a solution?

    Remember, relationships take work, and conflicts are an inevitable part of the journey. By learning to communicate effectively, address issues as they arise, and fight fairly, you can build a stronger, healthier relationship that will last a lifetime.

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 2

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 2

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 2

    We will continue with Part 2 of this topic today. 

    6. Intellectual Stimulation
    While beauty may be in the eye of the beholder, a woman’s heart is often won through intellectual foreplay. She wants a partner who can engage her mind, challenge her beliefs, and expand her horizons. Discuss thought-provoking topics, share your knowledge, and never stop learning together. Intelligence can be sexy! Women love men who are knowledgeable and can engage in interesting conversations. Psa 49:3 says “My mouth shall speak of wisdom; and the meditation of my heart shall be of understanding.”

    So, how can you engage in intellectual foreplay and win a woman’s heart?

    1. Discuss thought-provoking topics. Engage in conversations about a wide range of subjects
    2. Share your knowledge. Be open to sharing your own expertise and experiences, while also being receptive to learning from your partner.
    3. Never stop learning together. Make a habit of exploring new ideas and experiences together. 

    7. Faithfulness: Standing by Her Side

    Faithfulness is a fundamental quality in any successful relationship. A woman wants a man who will stand by her side, through thick and thin. It’s about being dependable, committed, and dedicated to your partner. A dependable man is someone who keeps his promises, supports his partner, and is consistently there when needed. “The Lord detests lying lips, but he delights in people who are trustworthy”  Proverbs 12:22. One of the ways you can demonstrate faithfulness is by keeping your promises. Always follow through on your commitments, whether they involve grand gestures or small, everyday tasks. 

    8. Emotional Expression: The Power of Vulnerability

    Emotional expression is the ability to express your feelings in a healthy way. It is one of the top ten things a woman wants. A woman wants a man who can be vulnerable, who can show his emotions, and who can be open about his needs. It’s a sign of strength, not weakness. Every woman wants a man that is not secretive. Ability to keep secrets and hide vital information from your spouse is the beginning of adulterous relationships. Adultery is never a good idea. Pro 6:27 says “Can a man take fire in his bosom, and his clothes not be burned?”

    9. Trustworthiness: The Foundation of Any Relationship

    Trust is the foundation of any successful relationship. A woman wants a man who is reliable, honest, and faithful. It’s about being transparent, keeping promises, and maintaining integrity. This means being honest about your feelings, intentions, and actions.

    As the Bible says, “Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs” 1 Corinthians 13:4-5. A trustworthy man keeps his promises, just as God keeps His promises to us Psalm 105:4. When both partners trust each other, they can build a strong and lasting bond.

    10. Passion: The Spark that Keeps the Fire Burning

    Passion is the spark that keeps the fire burning in any relationship. It is one of the top ten things a woman wants. A woman wants a man who is passionate about life, his interests, and their relationship. It’s about being enthusiastic, spontaneous, and adventurous. A woman wants a man who is romantic and who can satisfy her in the bedroom! A woman wants a man who can connect with her physically and emotionally. Songs of Solomon 2:10 (KJV) My beloved spake, and said unto me, Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. Kindly take note that as singles, a sexual relationship is a No-No! Sexual intimacy should be reserved till after the wedding.! Commitment to purity honors the sacred bond between two people and allows the relationship to grow and flourish in other areas before the ultimate expression of love is shared.


    Becoming the ultimate catch is not about changing who you are, but about embracing your authentic self. By incorporating these top ten qualities, you’ll become the most attractive and irresistible man in her eyes. Remember, it’s about being confident, emotionally intelligent, ambitious, and passionate – a true partner in every sense of the word.

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

    Reading Time: 3 minutes

    Top 10 Things a Woman Wants in a Man Part 1 

    Are you tired of feeling like you’re not quite ticking all the right boxes in your romantic relationships? Do you want to know the secrets to making a woman fall deeply in love with you? Look no further! In this article, we’ll dive into the top ten things a woman wants in a man, and how you can become the ultimate catch.

    1. Confidence: The Ultimate Aphrodisiac

    A woman wants a man who exudes confidence. Not arrogance, but a quiet self-assurance that says, “I’ve got this.” When you own your strengths and weaknesses, you become an unstoppable force. So, work on building your self-esteem, and watch how it transforms your relationships. Gone are the days of pretending to be someone you’re not. A woman wants a man who is confident in his own skin and isn’t afraid to be vulnerable. Be true to yourself, and she’ll love you for who you are. The scriptures says in Eph 5:1a “Be imitators of God in everything you do…”

    2. Emotional Intelligence: The Key to Deep Connections

    Women crave emotional intelligence in a partner. It’s the ability to understand and validate her feelings, making her feel seen and heard. Develop your active listening skills, and emotional regulation to become the rock she can lean on. . A man who can communicate his feelings, empathize with his partner, and navigate the emotional landscape of a relationship is incredibly attractive. Ecc 10:2 in the Message Translations says “Wise thinking leads to right living; Stupid thinking leads to wrong living.”

    3. Vision: A Man with a Purpose

    Vision is attractive. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man with goals, passions, and a sense of direction. It’s not about being a high-achiever, but about having a clear vision for your life. So, identify your values, set goals, and work towards them – it’s a huge turn-on! Women appreciate a man who is motivated and has a clear vision for his future. This doesn’t necessarily mean financial wealth or status, but rather a passion and determination to pursue his dreams. Col 3:23 says “And whatsoever ye do, do it heartily, as to the Lord, and not unto men.”

    4. Humour: Laughter is the Best Medicine

    A good sense of humor can diffuse even the most tense situations. A woman wants a man who can make her laugh, who can find the humor in life’s absurdities. So, don’t take yourself too seriously, and learn to laugh at yourself. No woman wants joy killer! Every woman wants a joy dispenser! Moments of joy remain memorable and source of strength in stormy times. A cheerful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones” so says Proverbs 17:22

    A woman wants a partner who can lighten the mood, diffuse conflicts with humor, and bring a sense of playfulness to the relationship. This doesn’t mean you have to be a full-time comedian, but cultivating a good sense of humor and the ability to not take yourself too seriously can work wonders. Learn to laugh at your own mistakes and quirks, and encourage your partner to do the same. This shared levity will help you weather any storm that comes your way.

    Remember, laughter truly is the language of the heart. By embracing your inner jokester and making your partner giggle, you’ll unlock a level of intimacy and connection that goes beyond mere words. So, don’t be afraid to be the “joy dispenser” in your relationship – it’s an irresistible quality that every woman craves.

    5. Emotional Availability: Being Present in the Moment

    Emotional availability is about being fully present in the moment, without distractions. It is one of the things a woman wants. A woman wants a man who can engage in deep conversations, who can listen actively, and who can be vulnerable. Put away your phone, make eye contact, and focus on the person in front of you. Be fully engaged in your interactions with her, and prioritize quality time together.

    Being emotionally available means being willing to listen and understand your partner’s thoughts and feelings. As James 1:19 says, “My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.” By being a good listener, you can build trust and intimacy in your relationship.

    As the apostle Paul wrote, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (Galatians 6:2). By being open and honest about your own fears, doubts, and desires, you can create a safe space for your partner to do the same.

    Remember, emotional availability is about being fully engaged in the present moment. By putting away distractions, making eye contact, and focusing on your partner, you can build a deeper and more meaningful connection. 

    Tobe continued tomorrow.