Every female gender starts as a girl. As a girl you are all pretty, flawless, innocent, saintly, naive, and all shades of sweetness. You see a young girl and you want to cuddle her.
I can bet you, girls are made for cuddles and kisses.
Every girl born is like a clean slate. To become a lady, you need to be informed. As your body transforms, other aspects of your life also need to be transformed. You are not just all ‘body’. You are a container with content.
The problem however is that failure to fully and properly transform from one stage of development to another affects the proper growth in the other stage.
A girl that doesn’t fully develop cannot become a lady in the right sense of the word.
A lady is one equipped with all the right knowledge and has developed mental capacity in all necessary areas. Financial, emotional (she is mature and has emotional intelligence), psychological, spiritual, mental, etc.
She has matured from being just a girl. She is not just concerned about her body and her looks.
From being a lady, the proper order is to move from being a lady to being a wife.
Marriage is not what makes a lady a wife. You become a wife before you are married
Proverbs 18:22 NKJV He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord.
The man obtains favor from the Lord because the Lord has taken time to work on the lady turning her into a wife
A wife is emotionally mature, selfless, and ready to submit to the right order of things as constituted by God. She is submitted to her husband. She has learned that to win the heart of your husband takes more than your looks or your body, it takes wisdom.
When you are fully developed as a wife, you are qualified to be a mother indeed. You don’t become a mother by just giving birth to a baby. You are a mother because you can pass the same godly principles to the next generation and nurture godly seeds.
There is so much crisis in society because girls are not becoming ladies and ladies are not maturing to become wives and mothers.
What we have are ladies becoming or performing wifely roles and being mothers. Little wonder about the chaos in marriages.
May we reverse the order and be on course to be godly women in Jesus’ name!
Growth and change are two things that are constant in life, relationship and marriage.
We grow just as our spouse grows and changes.
At this junction, I have to say that there are positive and negative changes that might occur. We are however focusing on the positive changes
There are a lot of things that will change about us. Our age, our taste, our perspectives on life and things generally, our opinion, our health, and whole other things
As we experience these changes and metamorphosis, usually in becoming a better version of ourselves, our values change. What we spend our time on before is not what we spend our time on now.
Sometimes these changes come with their challenges. Most of the time our spouse begins to see this as strange and begins to react.
They are not used to the new you. This is where adjusting is needed.
We are to adjust to the positive changes of our spouses especially when the changes are beneficial.
Ways to handle your spouse’s positive changes
1. We have to acknowledge and respect the differences in our paths to personal growth.
2. We need to understand and appreciate the fact that evolving as individuals may lead to diverse perspectives and be ready to adjust and cope, not quarrel.
3. See the evolution of your partner as an opportunity to learn and grow. Be ready to learn from the uniqueness of each other
4. Learn to appreciate and celebrate the victories that your spouse’s changes bring.
5. Enjoy the journey together embrace the change and find ways to personally grow as your spouse is growing.
Instead of fighting your spouse’s change and allowing it to bring a wedge between the two of you, step up your own game and embrace the change.
May we and our spouse enjoy the beauty of growth together
God’s word remains the only authentic manual for living a fruitful married life and indeed every other aspect of our lives
Marriage is not meant to be lived without God. How do you get God involved in your marriage except by finding out of His word says in every different aspect?
The issue of forgiveness is very crucial in marriage. We must guide ourselves on how to handle hurts and offenses such that they don’t degenerate into bitterness and finally get to a point where your spirit is closed against your spouse.
Marriage is a union that is meant to multiply our strength. One is meant to chase a thousand and two of us in marriage put ten thousand to flight.
Yet marriage is the place where most offenses occur, mostly because of temperamental differences, background differences, and male/ female differences.
Pressures of different sorts occur in marriage. Unmet expectations, challenges, and changes happen in marriage and all these cause the very foundation of our marriage to be shaken. Arming ourselves with the right knowledge and getting the strength to help us navigate this aspect of our marital journey is very important.
That hurts will not come is living in a fool’s paradise. Let’s look at what God’s word says
2 Cor 6:3 Giving no offence in anything, … We are to make sure we are not easily offended. Don’t easily be offended. Grow a thick skin to being offended. Holding offenses is not even good for our health.
Learn to let go quickly. I know it is not an easy pill to swallow. I also know, that depending on the magnitude of the offense, it becomes really hard to let go. Yet God’s word must be obeyed.
Matt 18:7 Woe unto the world because of offences! for it must needs be that offences come; but woe to that man by whom the offence cometh!
Offenses MUST come. This is a reality in marriage. We are not expecting it but we are armed with how to handle offenses quickly when they show up.
I think that is a fair way to live.
Let’s look at what God’s word has to say about forgiveness
Matt 6:15 But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses
If we don’t forgive from our hearts, we stand the risk of having God holding our shortcomings against us. We are always in need of the mercy of God. So one of the reasons we forgive our spouse is because we also offend God in so many ways and want Him to forgive us. God counts it sheer wickedness, if we want God to forgive us and yet we withhold mercy from our covenant partner. Forgiveness is a show of Mercy that we give to the offender. When we show mercy to others we will also receive mercy.
I will stop here this morning. It is my prayer that God will grant us the Grace to forgive each other in marriage in Jesus’ mighty name.
In the journey of matrimony, your words are more than mere expressions; they are catalysts for change. God, a speaking spirit, designed us to release creative power through speech. Don’t shy away—speak with wisdom, propelling your husband to take giant strides. Ensure you use the power of words to steer your marriage in the right direction by choosing to speak respectfully and with wisdom to your husband
7. Avoid Silence, Be a Person of Influence
While being a person of few words is commendable, silence has no place in your relationship. Don’t be a piece of furniture; instead, be a strategic communicator. Your role as a helper is amplified when your words are infused with wisdom and purpose.
8. The Power of Genuine Prayer
As a helpmeet, embrace the role of an intercessor. Connect with God on behalf of your husband, bringing his burdens and dreams to the divine realm. In genuine intercession, you’ll find a source of strength that transcends the earthly realm.
9. Crafting a Haven: The Art of Homemaking
Wives are natural multipliers; utilize this creative power to enhance your husband’s life. Transform your house into a home, a place of peace and rejuvenation. Let your homemaking skills become a testament to your love and commitment.
10. In His Shoes: Understanding Every Aspect
To truly be a part of your husband’s life, delve into every aspect of it. Understand his finances, relationships, challenges, dreams, and more. Whether accompanying him physically or supporting from afar, be intimately involved in his journey. Do not be emotionally detached!
Acknowledge the unique role you play in managing your husband’s passions. In marriage, find creative ways to satisfy his needs, ensuring anticipation and excitement. This role is exclusive to you—embrace it with love and openness.
In embracing expressive communication, heartfelt prayer, and active involvement, you become the architect of a flourishing marriage. May understanding and love continue to thrive in your relationship.
Maintain a firm hierarchy in your life—God first, your husband second, followed by your children, and only then any other relationships. This order should resonate in your actions, words, and thoughts. Ensure that your communication with your spouse surpasses any other conversations; anything less might be a misalignment of priorities. Don’t talk more to anybody than you talk to your spouse. It’s a misplaced priority.
2. Innovative Approaches to Respect
Recognize that respect is not just invaluable but also alluring and seductive. Respect is not only priceless, it’s attractive and sexy. Forge creative ways to express respect to your husband, intertwining your hearts and fostering a magnetic connection that keeps him returning to you repeatedly. It makes your husband’s heart knitted to yours
3. Embrace Your Role as a Helpmeet
Understand that your role is a life-long commitment. Embrace it with dedication, finding fulfillment in fulfilling it. This partnership is integral to the harmony of your life.
4. Cultivate Friendship with Your Husband
Invest time and energy into developing a profound friendship with your husband. This investment will yield substantial returns in the future. Strive to be intimately connected, so absorbed in pleasing your husband that trivial matters hold no significance in your busy life. Be as close to your husband as much as possible.
5. Acknowledge His Leadership Role
Recognize and treat your husband as the leader in your marriage. Approach him as royalty, and you will naturally assume your place as his queen. Treat him as a king and you will automatically find your place as a queen beside him. Be the sovereign companion he seeks, eliminating any need for him to look elsewhere.
Today’s insights end here, with more to come tomorrow.
May understanding abound, and may our marriages be blessed in the mighty name of Jesus.
